See Chapter One for Disclaimer
Excerpts from Charlie's Log
21st August 2011
Went on a hike throughout all of Stark Tower…and you'll never guess what I found! Tony has a floor dedicated just to his movie collection. You think I'm joking?! For a guy who prefers technology, he sure has a lot of hard copies of movies. He also has half a floor filled with just…bubble wrap.
Seriously…this guy is weird.
But that's not even the best thing I found.
"Why do you even have this?!"
"The real question is; why DON'T you have one?" Tony snarked.
Kay rolled her eyes. "No, the REAL question should be," Kay adopted a disgruntled tone, "why are snooping around in my tower, Kay?"
Tony shrugged. "I'm surprised you haven't tried snooping around before."
Kay shrugged at that. "Been busy. But seriously. What's the point of having an entire floor of your tower made into a life-size monopoly board?"
It was Tony's turn to shrug. "I really don't know. I was drunk one night; and when I woke up, it was just…there."
"Have you ever used it?"
Tony sent Kay a dry look. "What do you think?"
Kay smirked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Do you want to?"
And that was how, four days later, Kay found herself in the largest brawl that she'd had ever witnessed in her entire life. Were the Avengers really going to disband…over Monopoly?
Everyone was impressed with the set up. The large, square board was painted to the floor, and had a circumference of about half a mile. Each space was beautifully decorated, and you were your own game piece, though there were props. Steve wore a Top Hat, Tony was draped in a navy cape, Bruce had pulled on giant boots, Tasha had a sword in hand, and Thor had placed a dainty tiara on his head. Clint convinced everyone his pink morph suit was prop enough, and the game had begun on a cheery note.
That cheery note was nowhere to be found when Steve had landed on Park Place nearly three hours in; the first person to fall on that space. Of course, he bought it. It took two more hours for someone to land on Boardwalk…It was bad luck that said person was Steve as well…Who also bought it. Three hours after THAT, Kay was broke and excusing herself from the game, slightly worried.
At that point, Tony was ahead monetarily, to no one's surprise. Steve and Clint were tied at that point for second, mostly because Steve was gracious and let people off when they landed on his spaces, Tasha was in third place and Bruce in fourth, Thor trailing behind. Kay had been dead last and admitted defeat easily, early on.
No one else seemed as if they wanted to do so, though. Kay settled in to commentate.
At the 12 hour mark, Kay noted that tensions were high. At 18 hours, the game was played nearly silently, as if no one dared make a sound.
At 24 hours, Kay had called a momentary one hour break, which she hoped would help diffuse the tension, or convince the team not to play anymore.
Neither of Kay's hopes came true.
The game resumed with an added twist; as each of the Avengers had come back to the game board with a secret weapon in their pocket; alliances.
Of course, the alliances only made things worse. Tony and Clint's alliance was the first to fall when it became very clear that Clint was allied with Tasha. Tony and Bruce's alliance stayed strong for the most part, until Bruce reluctantly realized he needed to step away before the other guy took over, and that alliance was the second to break. Tony and Tasha, unbeknownst to Clint, had formed their own alliance, but Steve had outed them quickly enough, and Tasha and Clint's secret alliance fell through when Tasha picked Tony. Clint and Thor then formed an alliance in an effort to take Tony out, and when they began to gain the upper hand, Tasha and Tony's alliance fell through as she jumped ship.
It took three days for the Avengers to realize that Steve and Thor had formed an alliance of their own, and it was only realized when Steve, who was the only one not in the red at that point and was in fact holding everyone else in his debt, forgave Thor the fees he owed the captain.
The betrayal was evident in everyone's face. It still took Thor another eight hours to go negative and for the team to reluctantly end the game; Steve as the obvious victor.
Kay hoped that the end of the game would signal a return to real life, but such was not to be.
"You're a traitor."
"What are you even talking about? How am I a traitor?!"
"You…siding with Thor. Over me." Stark muttered, throwing back a glass of alcohol with a glare.
Steve rolled his eyes. "You didn't even ask to be in an alliance with me, so it's not like I betrayed you. If anything, you should be angry with Clint…or Tasha."
Tony's eyes brightened. "You're right…and I am! Clint how could you?!"
Clint sat in his nest, perched atop the fridge, glaring at everyone. He shrugged. "It's easy."
Tony stood. "really? It's easy betraying me, your friend, for Tasha? How is that easy?"
Clint shrugged. "She's hot."
Tasha, standing in the doorway, rolled her eyes. "I prefer wily. Or cunning. Or a stratagist. Or really…anything but hot."
Clint made a face. "Bite me."
Bruce sighed. "It's not that big of a deal, is it? It's just a game."
"Oh yeah, which is why you had to take a step back. Either it's more than a game or you need to work on your self control, buddy." Stark snapped.
Bruce rolled his eyes. "My self control is fine."
"Really? Tell that to my tower."
Bruce groaned. "Really? You're bringing that up now? Way to hold a grudge."
"I thought you were more evolved than this." Thor grunted.
"Reusing your lines, then?" Clint snapped. "Not intelligent enough to think up something new?"
Thor glowered. "I am plenty intelligent, human." He spat. "More intelligent than you, at any rate."
"Really?" Tony griped. "I wouldn't go talking smack about humans, this is our home turf, you're just visiting."
"Guys, calm down." Steve ordered.
"Or what? Why would we listen to a cheater?" Tony turned on Steve.
"I am not a cheater." Steve retorted angrily.
"No, you're much too honest for that, of course. Perfect Steve, never does anything wrong. What a crock."
"Really?" Steve huffed. "Get off my back, stop being so petty just because you lost."
"I am not being petty because I lost." Tony argued. "I'm always petty."
"Finally the truth out of you!" Tasha muttered.
"Oh be quiet, liar. Though I should've expected it out of the spy." Tony ranted.
"Watch your mouth!" Clint yelled.
"Why? Protecting your little girlfriend?"
"What?!" Clint turned red. "No! Are you twelve?! Knock it off!"
"HEY I HAVE AN IDEA." The room went silent though the glares did not increase, all eyes turned to Kay, who beamed, a black box in her hand.
"Let's play a game."
Tony scoffed. "You really think playing a game's going to fix this? Playing a game is what started this!"
"Besides, I don't want to play another game with these guys, let alone fight by their side!"
There was a silence as Clint's bitter words brought the team back to reality.
"Why don't we just play this game, guys?," Kay urged softly. "Please? It'll help."
Steve sighed. "We'll play your game. What's it called?"
Kay grinned. "Cards against Humanity."
From a game that ruins friendships to a game for horrible people, it was an interesting change, but one that worked wonders on everyone's tempers.
The game was explained; "An apples to apples for adults, you'll love it, Clint, you start," and the game began with Clint as the first to choose which black and white card combination he liked best. The black card Clint picked up first?
Captain America is having a passionate affair with…
Steve's face turned purple, Kay burst out laughing, Clint beamed, and Tony rubbed his hands, eyeing his cards evilly.
"I love this game," He chortled, pulling out a card and putting it down.
Steve shook his head, nearly speechless as he put one down.
Kay cackled as she chose her card, and Bruce smirked as he chose his.
Thor put a card down slightly confused, and Tasha's face was emotionless.
When it was shown what everyone had chosen, Kay thought Steve would have a heart attack.
The options Clint had to choose from included;
Captain America is having a passionate affair with _
-Me
-A billy goat
-The President
-Your Mom
-My childhood priest
Steve glared at everyone, then at Kay. "Which one was yours?" He demanded. Kay shook her head, beaming.
"No way. I'm not telling."
Steve pointed to the card that read "me" warningly, and Kay just laughed. Everyone luahged, so Steve did not feel any relief.
Clint coughed. "I pick that one!" He pointed to the me card, and there was a moment of silence as no one moved, then a chuckling Tony raised a fist, and Steve choked.
Kay burst out laughing once again, sharing a high five with Clint, and Tasha let loose a smile. Bruce shook his head with a grin, and Thor boomed out a laugh.
"I love this game." Tony said again, and Steve shook his head, scandalized.
The game progressed, getting dirtier and grosser, and more awful as time went on. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Just a few of the winning card combos and their winners were as follows;
What's fun until it gets weird?
A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.
Thor won that one.
And the academy award for _ goes to _.
Being a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist - Not Tony Stark
That round went to Clint.
When you get right down to it, _ is just _.
An unhinged Ferris wheel rolling towards the sea - A windmill full of corpses.
That one was Kay.
This is your captain speaking, fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _.
This one was a tie; the winning responses being
Civilian casualties (Tasha)
And
Demonic Possession (Kay)
What gives me uncontrollable gas?
Poorly timed holocaust jokes.
Steve shocked the room by winning that one. He just beamed.
Hey baby come back to my place and I'll show you _.
A PowerPoint presentation
Bruce won that one.
What did the US airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?
A lifetime of sadness.
Steve pissed everyone off by winning that one.
My country tis of thee sweet land of _.
Obesity.
Steve won the entire game with that one.
The game ended with mended relationships, everyone's stomach's burning from the laughs they'd shared, and a Steve who beamed, shaking his head wryly.
"Yeah, we're all going to Hell."
Everyone was more than apt to agree.
Checking In
Loki: So how are the individuals living in your madhouse faring? –LL
Charlie: eh…no crazier than normal. Is prison boring?
Loki: There are no words. –LL
Charlie: You know, I've been reading up on the long term effects that solitary confinement has on prisoners….it's actually pretty disturbing stuff.
Loki: You are not my therapist. -LL
Charlie: You couldn't afford me.
But seriously, are you doing okay?
Loki: Worry not about myself. I can do little while I'm caged. It is the oaf you need to keep an eye on. -LL
Charlie: Is this your subtle way of saying that you're worried about Thor?
Wait a second.
Was your whole subtle question really about Thor?
Loki: You are deluded. -LL
Perhaps. -LL
Charlie: Did I ever tell you why Thor wanted to start up a prank war?
Loki: I don't believe it was ever mentioned. -LL
Charlie: ….He was missing you; and I told him to think of his favorite thing about you.
Loki: He thought of my pranks? He HATES them! -LL
Charlie: That's not what he said.
Loki: hmm. –LL
Charlie: Listen, Loki. He's your brother. It's alright if you don't want to talk about him, or even if you do. I promised you when we last talked, it's all fine. Ok?
Loki: Yes. Alright. –LL
Charlie: Loki….
Loki: I don't want to talk about it.
Charlie: Alright fine. Just know, I'm here if you've need it.
Loki: I'm fine. -LL
But Thanks. -LL
Speaking Plainly
Loki: Do you remember when you said I could speak to you? -LL
Charlie: I do. Tell me what's up.
Loki: My whole life I've been in his shadow. Now I'm finally free of it, and I long for the shade. -LL
Charlie: That's how it always is. I longed for a life greater than the one I led, and when you gave it to me, I demanded you take it back.
Loki: I do apologize. -LL
Charlie: I know you do. That doesn't change the fact that we've both found ourselves in situations we'd rather not be in. We just have to adjust.
Loki: Would you like to trade? -LL
Charlie: What? Trade lives?
Okay, that would actually be crazy.
Yes.
So much Yes.
Loki: …You do realize I can actually do that? -LL
Charlie: Do it. Do it.
Do it.
Do.
It.
Never Again
Loki: Never Again. -LL
Charlie: True That.
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~CLC~