Like I never Existed : Book II
Chapter 1: Already Gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even without fists held high, yeah
Never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now
I can't stop
I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
I'm already gone
I'm already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone
Already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone.
Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson
1 ½ years latter
BPOV:
March 20th 2011
"Mary Alice Swan! What have I told you about leaving your toys in the floor?" I called as I held up one of Mary's baby dolls. It had been a year and a half since Jake left me, and three and half years since Edward left me. I could now say his name without a lot of discomfort, I was finally moving on, even if it was slow and painful at first.
"What, but I'm not Mary Alice, I'm Sarah, and you call yourself our mother." One twin, who thought she was being smart said as she put her hands on her hips. Even though they were small, and at only three the twins were very intelligent. It was almost like talking to a adult at times. I raised a elegant eyebrow.
"Really now? I know for a fact your Mary, for one thing darling you have blue eyes, and Sarah has brown. Another thing is Mary Alice never introduces herself as Mary Alice, simply Alice." I said a smile on my face. I saw Mary pout and her shoulders sag before I chuckled and bent down to pick her up, laying the baby doll on the coffee table.
"You've got to take better care of your things Darling...or the toy monster will show up and gobble them up while you sleep." I said and she gasped, her brown eyes like mine used to be going wide.
"Not my toys!" She said and I smiled and put my forehead to hers.
"Well you best go clean up huh?" I said and put her down. She nodded and skipped off into the play area taking her baby doll with her. I smiled as I watched my sister turned daughter clean up her toys. We had lived her for almost two years and I loved the surroundings. I missed Forks at time, I missed La Push more. I had seen Leah not three months ago during Christmas. She and Paul had contacted their surrogate not long after I left, they had twins now; Susan and Marie, both a year old. Little Isabella was almost two as was Harrison, they were adorable. Harry had the same blue eyes as Leah, and Isabella looked like Emily but with the dark brown/black eyes which belonged to Sam.
"Sarah Rosalie Swan! What did I tell you about the mud?" I called as Sarah came in her long wavy/curly brown hair in a low ponytail. Her white shirt under a pair of jean overalls covered in mud. Her face had smears and her hands were completely brown with mud as were her feet up to her knees.
"Sorry Mama, I'll clean it up." She said blushing as she looked down in shame. Sarah was not a attention seeking child, no that was Mary Alice. The twins were complete opposites. Sarah reminded me of myself only she had more confidence then me and loved to get dirty and play sports. Mary Alice was my girly one, who loved being the center of attention and god forbid you take the child shopping. She was a demon possessed if I even muttered the word shopping.
"Don't worry about it baby, Mary go into the kitchen and wait for me. Rosie, go upstairs and clean yourself off and change cloths, yell if you need me." I said as I ran a hand through her hair, which was much much lighter then my own. Sarah nodded and walked slowly up the stairs to the bathroom, Mary Alice smiled and skipped into the kitchen. I sighed and followed thinking of how I was going to get them to the daycare in time.
Cambridge Campus;
March 20th 2011
"Yes, Lee I know. Haha, Mary Alice says the same thing, wait until the twins are older they'll pull it as well. I suggest not letting them watch Harry Potter. Those Weasley twins are bad influences." I said as I walked around campus, my cell phone up to my right ear, and my messenger bag slung over my left shoulder, a cup of coffee in the other hand.
"Don't worry, Sue and Marie will be fine, Sarah got the flu when she was barely 1 ½ and gave it to Mary and they both turned out fine. They'll be crabby but that is to be expected." I continued. Leah had called me in hysterics after my last period class, during lunch. She had taken Susan and Marie to the hospital and found out they had a bad flu. They were about two but it was still very dangerous. I could relate, The twins had gotten a bad flu not two months after we moved here and I had almost died from worry.
"Listen I gotta go if I'm gonna get any lunch. No its fine Leah, I'll call you back latter." I said and then hung up as I did I looked down, it all happened so quickly I never noticed myself colliding into a man. My coffee was crushed, the drink spilling all over his white button down shirt. I dropped the cup and looked up into the face of the man, I forgot what I was going to say as I stared into his ice blue eyes.
"I am so sorry." I finally said as I grabbed some napkins out of my bag, I usually carried them around for the girls. I handed some to him and tried to help by wiping it from his chest. I felt a tingle as my skin touched his, which was lightly tanned. His jaw was strong and his hair was cut short but was a beautiful golden/honey blond. As I looked closer at him, his 6'4 build towering over me I blinked and thought I was seeing a older Jasper, with differences of course.
"Its..Its ok. I wasn't watching were I was going either. I'm Dean, Dean Whitlock." I almost swooned his voice was like honey and had a subtle hint of a southern accent. The name Whitlock though brought back a conversation with Alice.
'Alice, is Jasper's last name really Hale? I mean I know people think Rosalie and him are Twins but are they really?' Alice tinkering laugh and her eyes lit up.
'No silly Bella, Jasper is older then Rosalie by a good century. He was originally from Texas, his name was Jasper Cole Whitlock.'
"Are you ok ma'am?" Dean asked and I blinked and nodded smiling up at him.
"Yeah, sorry, I'm Isabella Swan, just Bella please." I said after a moment and he smiled, he was almost perfect, but I could tell simply by looking he was the opposite of Edward. Thinking of Edward now brought a since of guilt to me. I had grown up over the last three or so years but I would always love my gold eyed vampire, but now I didn't just miss Edward. No, I missed everyone, I think I missed Alice the most out of them all, even Edward at times.
"Are you a student here Bella?" He asked.
"Yeah, its my second year. What about you?" I asked as I moved to sit down at one of the many round tables. Dean smiled and took a seat across from me as I motioned for him too.
"My third, I'm studying to be a Doctor like my Uncle in Phoenix." He said and I blinked, a Doctor in Phoenix.
"Your Uncle? Anyone I might know, I am originally from Phoenix." I said.
"I don't know, A Dr. Lyle Yule." He said I smiled.
"Of course, he delivered my babies." I said and he looked shocked. I almost chocked on my tongue, had I scared him away. I was really liking the conversation between us and he made me feel something I hadn't felt since before Edward left me. Not to say I was comparing him to Edward and our time together this feeling was different, not as complete but very close.
"Babies? You don't look old enough to have children." He said and I laughed. Well this was a good start, he hadn't gotten up and left like many of the men who had tried getting into my pants. He was also very different from those men, he was sincere and I could tell.
"Well, they are not mine exactly. My mother died in childbirth three years ago and my step-father bailed on them. I took them on as my own, the birth certificate had myself listed as the mother and they were adopted by me so, I don't think of them as my sisters." I said. I saw his smile widen.
"That very compassionate of you. What are their names?"
"Sarah Rosalie and Mary Alice. Mary prefers Alice but I've always called her Mary or Mary Alice." I said smiling proudly.
"They are beautiful names. So, I think class is going to start soon, can I see you again?" He asked almost hesitant. I smiled and pulled out a pad of paper and black pen. I wrote down my cell number, address and the address of the bar I worked in.
"This is my cell, home address and the bar I work in. I work tonight from 9 – 12 so you should come. I usually start singing around 10." I said and he nodded and stood up. He took one last look at me and left saying.
"Its was great meeting you Isabella." For once In my life I didn't mind that he called me Isabella.
March 20th 2011;
Cold Blood Club
"...Ain't got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in ma pocket, but I'm already here
And now the dudes are linin up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
I'm talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if their getting too drunk, drunk
Now, now - we goin till they kick us out, out
but the police shut us down, down
police shut us down,
police shut us -down
Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, imma fight
Till we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh (x2)
you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
You got me now
You got that sound
Yea, you got me
you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up
Now, the party don't start til I walk in...
Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, imma fight
Till we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh" I finished my first song of the night with a smile. It was one of my own and I was very proud of it. I had written it with Leah and Emily's help almost a year ago. I slowly got down from the stage as the crowd roared and I took my black and white waitress apron from Sandra another waitress and smiled.
"Thanks Sandy" I said and she smiled and walked away. The uniform was skimpy, it was a corset like black top that showed everything from just above the belly button down and low cut black skirt with a three inch slit on each side. Black boots were a must, mine were leather and ankle length. My hair was curled and in a pony tail with two curled bangs falling into my face. I didn't care for the uniform but I loved the club and my job. As I walked behind the counter I smiled as I saw a blond head watching me. He wore a dark blue shirt with a white and silver button down shirt over it and his jeans were dark wash and he had a belt with this large buckle, you'd see on cowboys. I could picture him in a cowboy hat but he wasn't wearing one.
Smiling coyly I walked in front of him and leaned forward slightly, "You've kept me waiting long enough," I spoke and he looked at me with shock before ducking his head like a good southern gentlemen and said his voice amused yet sincere.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." He said and I walked around the bar and held out my hand. He looked at before taking it no hesitation in his blue eyes. I chuckled and spun around before leading him to the dance floor.
"So, tell me about yourself?" I asked, as I swung my hips to the beat of save a horse, ride a cowboy. He looked torn between grabbing my hips and speaking but as I ground my hips into his he smiled and chuckled before wrapping his arms around my slim waist and I wrapped mine around his neck, continuing to swing my hips in circles and into his hips.
"Whats to say? My name is Dean Jasper Whitlock, I'm From Houston, Texas and I used to be in the Military before I decided to become a Doctor. I'm 26 years old and have one sister and a uncle. What about you Ma'am?" He said accent becoming more pronounced. I almost swooned, my legs going weak but I kept my cool.
"Whats to say?" I began mocking Dean. He chuckled and I continued, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan, I'm 21 almost 22 and I'm getting my degree in education come June. I have two adopted daughters and...a son.." I stopped as the words got stuck in my throat. At this point the music had stopped and was changing to a different song.
"A son? Bella is something wrong, I didn't mean to bring something up you weren't ready for." Dean said as he looked into my green/brown eyes. I smiled, he was so sweet.
"Its, just I lost my baby a few years ago, a miscarriage brought on by something this jackass was putting in the Halloween candy. Not long after one of my best friends died and my fiance left me at the alter. I'm not actually sure the baby was a boy, but I think he was, I named him Blaise, just in case I was wrong about the gender." I stopped, I was rambling and I didn't want to ramble about this to him. Dean's blue eyes softened In understanding.
"I understand, I was once married but she died in childbirth along with our baby. A daughter named Sydney." Dean replied and I looked at him with sympathy. Turning to the stage and a clock that was on the wall behind the bar. I smiled and pulled him to the front. I went onto the stage and whispered something into the bands ears and they nodded and I took the mike.
"Hey! Well for my last song tonight I'm going to do something different. So If you could all send your attention to the bar, me and my girls are gonna make some music." I said into the mike and the crowd erupted and I jumped off the stage and with the help of two of the girls was hosted up onto the bar. The bar was very similar to what you'd find in that movie coyote ugly.
"OWAH!" I yelled into the mike as the music began. It was a song by brook valentine - some chick fro the early 2000's, I hadn't heard much of her after this song came out.
"Its about to be a what!
Girl fight !
We bout to throw dem bows
We bout to swang dem thangs
There's about to be a what? Girlfight!" I began as I began moving with the other two girls. My friend John was up on stage doing the parts meant for a man to sing.
"...There she go talkin' her mess
All around town makin' me stress
I need to get this off my chest
And if her friend want some then she'll be next
It really ain't that complicated
Y'all walking round looking all frustrated
Want some plex come on let's make it
Ya acting real hard but I know ya fakin'
Know you really don't wanna step to dis
Really don't know why you talkin' shit
You 'bout to catch one right in the lip
It's about to be a what? Girlfight!
We bout to throw dem bows
We bout to swang dem thangs
It's about to be a what? Girlfight!" Through this part I twirled around on the bar, my boots making clicking sound along with my two friends. I began grinding with Cody – a girl – as I continued on to the next verse smirking at Dean who was in the crowd smiling.
"We on our way to ya neighborhood
The reason why we comin' is understood
Me and my girls we down to ride
So when you hear us pull up bring ya butt outside
And if you try to call ya cousin and nem
Don't forget that I got some of dem
'Bout to go real hard 'bout to swang dem thangs
'Bout to feel elbows all in ya brain
Know you really don't wanna step to dis
Really don't know why you talkin' shit
You 'bout to catch one right in the lip
It's about to be a what? Girlfight!
We bout to throw dem bows
We bout to swang dem thangs
It's 'bout to be a what? Girlfight!
Oh! I know you don't want me to split yo dome!
Girl you makin me really mad...
Oh! I know you don't want me to split yo dome!
I'm about to bruise ya face and it's sad..." I put the mike to my side and began dancing around shaking my ass as I twirled and dipping it low before I began to walk around and dance against Cody and Sandra. As I was doing this John began his part.
"Oh snap these bitches they act like cats
In the middle of the dance floor now they preparing to scrap
They takin out their scrunchies and pullin' off their pressons
The one on the right is the girlfriend and the one the left is the other woman
Someone please call security
These girls too purty
To get down to the nitty titty
I mean the nitty gritty
I mean her tiitty pretty
I'm trippin'
Being silly willy
Man go on let them hos fight" I laughed as I began the final verse.
"We bout to throw dem bows
We bout to swang dem thangs
It's about to be a what? ...Girlfight!
Don't act like you don't know
We right outside yo door
See you peekin' out the window
I know you ain't talking noise no more
Bitch come outside
Don't act like you don't see me
I know you heard me pullin' up uh
Come outside, uh, come outside, uh
We down to ride
It's about to be a... Girlfight!" I smiled as the crowed cheered and I jumped down and made my way to Dean.
"So how can I get in contact with you? I really like you, and I'd like to get to know you cowboy." I said coyly as I stood in front of him. He laughed, smiling a smile that I had to take another look at because it brought images of Jasper into my head, not that I had seen him smile often but Dean and Jasper were eerily similar.
"Of course Darlin', here's my number." He said and gave me a piece of paper with his numbers and home address. I smiled and leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek before I grabbed him and pulled him onto the dance floor.
"Lets dance, Cowboy." I said as I began dancing against him.
A/N: Well here it is the beginning of Book II. I hope it is good enough, I am happy with the length anyways. it might be a while until the next chapter as i wish to focus a bit more on my new story Penombra..but I promise to update before the end of June. Also the songs are Tik Tok by Kesha and Girl Fight by Brooke Valentine.