Disclaimer: I don't own Sisters Grimm or Wicked. I'm on a roll!
Dear Old Shiz Is Where I Met The Wizard
Everyone watched me as I smiled, optimistically. The entire cast knew my part's ending wasn't a very happy one.
STUDENTS:
(Sung) O hallowed halls and vine-draped walls (I waved at a boy and he cringed)
The proudliest sight there is (Sight there is) (They echoed the last part and I turned to a girl. She put her briefcase in front of her face)
When grey and sere our hair hath turned (A group walked past me, unaware and when they saw me they cringed ran away quickly. I looked down, discouraged. This pissed me off. I didn't look that weird…did I?)
We shall still revere the lessons learned!
In our days at dear old Shiz (Dear Old Shiz)
Our days at dear old… (I bowed, inviting people over to me but they all spread away from me and I straightened.)
FERN: (Fern was rolled in on a giant trolley of her many trunks. She's so annoying but he uniform was cute. She wearing another wig that was very, very, very loose curls. It only curled at the ends. It was cream colored and she looked like a cross between Lois Lane and a schoolgirl)
(Sung) Oh-oh-oh-oh-old
STUDENTS AND FERN:
(Sung) Dear Old Shiz-zzzzz (They were surrounding Glinda and looking at me in disgust)
SABRINA:
(spoken) What? What are you all looking at?
Oh, do I have something in my teeth (They knew I was being extremely sarcastic. They still cringed as I stepped forward)
Wait, is my underskirt showing? (I slammed my briefcase down and stepped forward)
Alright, let's just get this over with
No, I'm not seasick
Yes, I've always been green
No, I didn't eat grass as a child (I was counting out my list on my fingers)
DRAKE
(spoken) Elphaba! (He came on stage with Daphne and there was applause for her)
SABRINA:
(spoken) Oh, this is my younger sister, Nessarose
As you can see she's a perfectly normal color
DRAKE:
(spoken) Elphaba, stop making a spectacle of yourself! (I marched myself past him to my briefcase and picked it up. It house my books and my clothes)
Remember, I'm only sending you to this school
For one reason…
SABRINA:
(spoken) I know…
To look after Nessa (Daphne was on stage and looking around at all the students in a simple wheelchair)
DRAKE:
(spoken) My precious little girl…
A parting gift… (Daphne gasped and put her hand to her heart. She had a wig on now but for Act 2 she would be wearing her regular hair in a severe bun)
DAPHNE:
(spoken) Oh Father!
Oh! Jeweled shoes! (She took out the famed jeweled shoes. These weren't the ones I enchanted. Those were in our mirror. Bunny had revamped it so it didn't require a guardian. We didn't need another Mirror. I would enchant these as well to show Everafters who they were messing with. We had even re-grown Arthur's heart to it's normal size so we could do it again)
DRAKE:
(spoken) As befits the future Governor
Of Munchkinland.
Elphaba… (I stepped forward, acting as if I expected something. I knew I shouldn't)
Take care of your sister (He kissed Daphne's forehead and walked away. He handed me a small bag)
And try not to talk too much (He walked away, angry. Daphne looked at me, sadly)
DAPHNE:
(spoken) Elphaba… (I walked forward and gave her the bag. She took it willingly and I gave her a brave smile)
SABRINA:
(spoken) Well, what could've get me?
I clash with everything. (I made a dismissing motion with my hands when Belinda as Madame Morrible walked in)
BELINDA:
(spoken) Welcome! New students! I am Madame Morrible!
Headmistress here at Shiz University! (She had a rather loud voice and she wore a crazy blonde wig)
And whether you're here to study law, logic, or linguification
I know I speak for my fellow faculty members
When I say we have nothing but the highest hopes for you (Fern had walked up close and was right across the stage from me. She looked at me, curiously)
Now…oh!
Oh! You must be…the Governor's daughter!
Miss…Miss Nessarose
What a tragically beautiful face you have! (This is one of my favorite lines coming up)
And you must be…oh (She had gasped and said 'oh' with disgust and I sighed. That was what people had been looking at me with since I started to put on this green make-up)
SABRINA:
(spoken) I'm the other daughter, Elphaba
I'm beautifully tragic (That gained some laughs and people who didn't like me would be laughing even harder soon)
BELINDA:
(Spoken) Well, I'm sure you're
Very bright
FERN:
(spoken) Bright? She's phosphorescent! (This got hard laughs and I glared at the ground. Belinda walked away from us)
BELINDA
(spoken) Now, regarding room assignments
Is that regarding room assignments? (Fern was holding up a piece of paper of only God knows what)
FERN
(spoken) Oh, no, Madame Morrible (I rushed up to Belinda's other side as Fern walked forward)
Thank you for asking but I've
Already been assigned a private suite (This called giggles from the students onstage)
But you all can visit me whenever you want! (I flipped my hair and Deedee as Shen Shen rushed up and made a loud noise)
DEEDEE:
(spoken) Ah! How good of you (She had a squeaky voice and Debbie who was Pfanee rushed up as well)
DEBBIE:
(spoken) Oh! You are so good!
FERN:
(spoken) No I'm not (You got that right. At least she isn't a liar! Well…right now that is)
BOTH OF THE FRIENDS WHO ARE SUCKING UP:
(spoken) Yes, you are!
FERN:
(spoken) Stop! (She held out the word and did that ludicrous thing with her hair. She flipped it and I wanted to hit her.)
BELINDA:
(spoken) Do you have a question?
FERN:
(spoken) Yes, you see I am the Galinda Upland
Of the upper Uplands (She grasped Belinda's arm)
I've applied to your sorcery seminar, indeed
That's my sole purpose in attending Shiz
To study sorcery with you (She giggled and bumped her hip against Belinda's. Belinda was looking at her like she was a nutjob and it's true. That Sugar Plum Die Hard is a nut)
Perhaps you recall my essay:
Magic Wands. Need They Have A Point
BELINDA:
(spoken) Ah, yeah.
I do not teach my seminar
Every semester, unless someone
Special comes along
FERN:
(spoken) Well, exactly (She pointed to herself and had to resist the extreme urge to roll my eyes)
SABRINA:
(spoken) Madame Morrible
We have not received our room assignment
BELINDA:
(Spoken) Because I am concerned
About your sister's wellbeing
I suggest she shares my apartment
Where I can assist her
SABRINA:
(spoken) But, I've always
Looked after my sister (You got that right! I killed a giant, defeated Rumpelstiltskin, shot lightening at the Jabberwocky, was Puck's protector, and did a shit load of other stuff. I can look after my little sister)
DAPHNE:
(spoken) Elphaba…
BELINDA:
(spoken) Your father never mentioned you (That hurt and I thought about my own father who was in the audience at this point.
But don't fret.
We'll find some place to put you
SABRINA:
(spoken) But Madame!
FERN:
(spoken) I don't even think she
Read my essay (Arthur…ass…scurried forward. Daphne stared at him, as she still had feelings for him and they would get stronger as the play went on. Thoughts of what happened last time had escaped her mind)
ARTHUR:
(spoken) That is so unfair!
You should say something!
FERN:
(spoken) Should I?
BELINDA:
(spoken) Attention!
Which of your young ladies
Will volunteer to share
With Miss Elphaba? (Here it comes…I'll make her life hell at intermission)
FERN:
(spoken) Madame Morrible (She lifted her hand and stepped forward, daintily. I feel like a freak)
BELINDA:
(spoken) Oh, thank you dear
Very good!
FERN:
(spoken) What? (She looked genuinely confused. Little idiot…or a not nice word that is strictly related to the phrase C U Next Tuesday…if you catch my drift)
BELINDA:
(spoken) Isn't that what you meant? (She turned to me and I was looking confused at the audience. I had to resist the urge to smile when I saw the flaming red hair of my little brother, Basil)
This young lady has her private suite.
Yet she's good enough to share it!
Oh, bravo! (The students began to clap and Belinda clapped along with her. Fern curtsied, unwillingly)
Miss Elphaba, you will room with Miss Galinda
FERN:
(spoken) Huh, what? (She stepped back from me)
SABRINA:
(spoken) Madame Morrible…you don't understand. (Belinda ignored me…she never liked me anyway and she was taking my sister away. It was pissing me off and people who knew about magic and Everafters could feel it rolling off me. I felt someone with the same magic signature as me)
BELINDA:
(spoken) To your room, come ladies!
SABRINA:
(spoken) No wait!
DAPHNE:
(spoken) Elphaba, please…
SABRINA:
(spoken) But, I take care of you (I protested as Belinda grabbed her chair. She began to wheel her away and I slammed my suitcase/briefcase down)
BELINDA:
(spoken) Come Miss Nessarose…
SABRINA:
(spoken) LET HER GO! (I shouted this and pointed at Belinda. She jumped back and by pure magic Daphne's wheelchair began to spin and rolled over to me. Daphne made panicked noises and everyone was forced back by the magic. She rolled over to me and Belinda rushed over to me, surprised. She was also an Everafter child. There were limited humans now)
BELINDA:
(spoken) How did you do that? (She still thought I was human. That's laughable)
FERN:
(spoken) How did she do that? (I picked up my briefcase)
DAPHNE:
(spoken) You promised things would be
Different here. (She sounded sad and angry at me. But I knew she wasn't…I hope she isn't that is)
BELINDA:
(spoken) You mean
This has happened before?
SABRINA:
(spoken) Um..well…
Something just comes over me sometimes
Something I…I-I-I can't control
I'll try to control myself
Sorry Nessa (She didn't look me in the face)
BELINDA:
(spoken) What?
Never apologize for talent
Talent is a gift.
And that's my special talent
Have you never considered a career in sorcery? (She was next to me and her arm was around my shoulder. Fern crept closer)
I shall teach your privately and take no other student! (Fern gasped in anger)
FERN:
(spoken) What?
(sung) Many years I have waited
For a gift like yours to appear
Why I predict the Wizard would make you his
Magic, grand vizier!
SABRINA:
(Spoken) The Wizard? (I sounded excited even though I'd met the Wizard. He's an ass and he was sad. I guess it was because he had wrongfully had his only daughter killed)
BELINDA:
(Sung) My dear, my dear!
I'll write at once to the Wizard
Tell him of in advance
With a talent, like yours, dear there is
A defin-ish chance
If you work as you should
You'll be making good (Fern raised her hand, worried)
FERN:
(spoken) Madame Morrible… (Persistent little witch, isn't she? If she pushes me too far I might tell her some things she won't want to hear)
BELINDA:
(spoken) Not now dear!
FERN:
(spoken) Something's wrong… (Everyone left the stage but us two)
I didn't get my way (You don't all the time idiot! Ha, ha!)
I need to lie down (Don't fall asleep…I might come and try to kill you)
SABRINA:
(spoken) Did that really just happen?
Have I actually understood? (I put down my suitcase and looked up)
This weird quirk I've tried
To suppress or hide
Is a talent that could
Help me meet the Wizard
If I make good (I held up my hands and threw them down, optimistically)
So I'll make good...
When I meet the Wizard (I picked up the suitcase and crossed the stage, quickly)
Once I prove my worth
When I meet the Wizard
What I've waited for since...since birth!
And with all his Wizard wisdom
By my looks, he won't be blinded (I was getting too into the song. It was too foolish to be optimistic. I had gotten and lost the love of my life and I had become wicked in the course of two stupid months. That's shit!)
Do you think the Wizard is... dumb?
Or like Munchkins, so small-minded?
No! He'll say to me: (I put down my suitcase and pointed at the audience. They were awestruck but it didn't truly amazing until much later, the finale of Act 1)
"I see who you truly are
A girl on whom I can rely!"
And that's how we'll begin
The Wizard and I...
Once I'm with the Wizard (The students came out, saw me and scurried along, avoiding me)
My whole life will change
'Cuz once you're with the Wizard
No one thinks you're strange
No father is not proud of you (I walked around and I hope my father knew who I was speaking of. The moment he found out what I had become he had acted differently around me)
No sister acts ashamed
And all of Oz has to love you
When by the Wizard, you're acclaimed
And this gift- or this curse-
I have inside
Maybe at last, I'll know why
When we are hand in hand-
The Wizard and I
And one day, he'll say to me: "Elphaba,
A girl who is so superior
Shouldn't a girl who's so good inside
Have a matching exterior?
And since folks here to an absurd degree
Seem fixated on your verdigris
Would it be all right by you
If I de-greenify you?"
And though of course
That's not important to me
"All right, why not?" I'll reply
Oh, what a pair we'll be
The Wizard and I...
Yes, what a pair we'll be
The Wizard and...
Unlimited
My future is unlimited (This would come around and all the time. My future is limited)
And I've just had a vision
Almost like a prophecy
I know- it sounds truly crazy
And true, the vision's hazy
But I swear, someday there'll be
A celebration throughout Oz
That's all to do with me! (I lifted my hands and held the note for a good 15 seconds. People were shocked now that I held this much power in my voice. I was shocked myself)
And I'll stand there with the Wizard
Feeling things I've never felt (I was belting now. It was getting kind of crazy)
And though I'd never show it
I'll be so happy, I could melt
And so it will be
For the rest of my life
And I'll want nothing else 'til I die
Held in such high esteem
When people see me, they will scream
For half of Oz's fav'rite team:
The Wizard and I! (I held the note again for 10 seconds, my hands rising and I was breathing rather hard at the end. There was applause and I was grinning)