"Do we know where he came from?" Mary asked her hand squeezing John's looking for some kind of reassurance. They were currently gathered around the meeting table in the manor, a table that was large enough to seat at least twenty people, the seats were ever only normally filled when the were council came to visit or if John needed to conduct a serious mediation between families. She was sitting to John's left, with Dean and Sam opposite them. Her eyes kept straying to the blood that covered her sons clothes and she suppressed a shudder at the thought of how easily that could have been his own.

"Not a clue," John replied. "I'm not sure who the girl was either and what she was doing in the woods at that time of night," he added running a hand across his face where his beard was starting to fill out.

"Could she have known him?" Mary wondered, if wasn't unheard of for humans and wolfs to co-exist though if a were wanted to turn a human they would have to consult the council and undergo a serious of tests to determine whether the human would be strong enough and be able to cope with the monthly change. Humans couldn't shift at will, probably one of the reasons why Dean struggled seeing as he had practically been born a human with wolf blood in him.

"There was no way of telling," John sighed frustrated. Mary could sense that he was holding something back though she didn't pry, he would tell her when he felt the time was right.

Dean sighed and reached into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a picture and handed it to her. She took it gently, ignoring the way her sons hand shook, overexertion she put it down to…at least she hoped it was. She pushed that worry to one side, making a mental note to get the full story from her mate later. There was defiantly something neither one of them was telling her.

She peered down at the picture, it showed a young girl who seemed to be in her early twenties, she had blond hair that curled down past her shoulders, her bright blue eyes were full of life and there was a massive grin spread across her lips. There was an arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder pulling her into another woman's embrace. This woman had dark copper hair with dark brown eyes, she had tight lines around her mouth showing her age although she too wore a smile. Their facial features were similar and their body gestures screamed out familiarity, Mary had no doubt that it was a mother and a daughter. Poor woman she found herself thinking, she had just lost her daughter in the worst way possible…god if anything happened to her pup…it didn't bear thinking about. The pair seemed to be posed in front of some sort of building but what she couldn't tell as most of it had been obscured. "This was all she had?"

"Besides some money and fake IDs yeah," Dean replied his lips set in a tight line. He looked so much older than his twenty six years of life in that one moment.

"Fake IDs?" John asked.

"Yeah about ten of them."

John's frown deepened and he shook his head pretending to brush off the comment. He held his hand out and gestured for the picture which Mary handed over. 'John?' she queered mentally not liking the look he was currently sporting.

'Later' John replied placing the picture back on the table. He shot her a small smile that didn't reach his eyes and squeezed her hand gently. Ok there was defiantly something going on right now. "Good job last night Dean, why don't you and Sam head home and rest we have a full moon tonight."

Dean stifled a yawn and nodded, he held his hand out to Sam and together they pushed themselves to their feet, said their goodbyes and took their leave. Mary waited to make sure that they were out of ear shot, well Sam's ear shot anyways as Dean didn't have the same powerful senses as they had. Satisfied she turned to her side on the chair and gazed at her mate who let out a deep breath.

"How bad was it?" she asked fearing to hear the answer, there was only one thing that could put that look on her mate's face and it was their pup.

"He wouldn't stop growling, his canines were extended and his eyes…he had no pupils Mary…I tried to talk to him but he just wouldn't stop…I got through in the end but….Jesus…if anyone else had seen that…"

"They would have thought he was the rogue," Mary finished leaning back on her seat, she rubbed a hand across her face and fought with the tears that threatened to fall. All she wished for was for Dean to be able to be in control of his wolf, he was the most beautiful white wolf she had ever seen…he was the only white wolf she had ever seen. One day even John's influence wouldn't be enough and she didn't want to lose her only child…Dean was her pup and she would do anything for him. "He shot the wolf?"

"Yeah straight through the heart."

"Well that's good then, he didn't shift…"

"Mary maybe we need to…"

"No!" she decreed stopping her mate mid-sentence, she refused to let him continue, there was no way they were going there…she didn't want that….What parents would they be if they handed him in to the were shelter like that? He wasn't a young pup anymore, he wasn't a kid who hadn't shifted or couldn't control…he was just lost…he just needed to mate…at least that's what she hoped. "Sam will be good for him."

John deflated, he pulled at her arms until she moved into his lap. She wrapped her arm around his neck and buried her face into his skin, breathing in his scent. "I just hope you're right," he whispered into her hair stroking the back of her head in the process.

Mary did too, she didn't think she would survive if anything happened to either her son or her mate. She might have been the glue keeping them together but they were the centre of her world, there was nothing she wouldn't do for them. Even Sam who she now considered to be her own, sighing she knew what she had to do, there was a call she needed to make.

…

"You're ok though?" Sam asked for what was probably the hundredth time needing his mind put at ease. Dean nodded, his right hand stroked through Sam's long hair while his left was wrapped around his waist bringing the younger were closer into his chest. They were laying on the bed, both just wearing their boxers too tired to do anything more than hug. Sam's head was pillowed on Dean's heart, listening to it beat a steady rhythm.

"I'm fine," Dean automatically replied his voice clipped like there was something bothering him. His hand continued to stroke through Sam's hair though his eyes were staring off into the distance like he wasn't quite in the room with him.

"What happened with the wolf?" Sam asked lifting his head so that he could look into Dean's eyes who still seemed to refuse to look at him. Dread began to rise in the pit of his stomach, he knew that from the look of Dean's and John's face that there was something neither of them was telling him.

"He attacked I shot him," Dean shrugged smirking as he brought his attention back to Sam, the smile did not reach his eyes. "I'm beat, need some rest before the moon," he added pressing a kiss to Sam's lips before setting his head down onto his pillow and closing his eyes. Effectively stopping the conversation from going any further.

"Dean…" he whispered though the older wolf merely grunted in response. "You can talk to me."

"I do every day, see talking now," Dean joked moving his hand away from Sam's hair and throwing it over his eyes instead in a gesture that screamed out leave me alone.

"Not what I mean."

"Sammy…" Dean sighed moving his arm slightly to peer at Sam through slit eyes. "I killed the wolf, there's nothing more to say, if there was I would tell you." He said defensively. "I would like to sleep," he added moving his arm back and settling down on the bed though his body language remained tense.

"Fine," Sam grumbled settling back down knowing he wasn't about to get any more information out of the Alpha. He wished that they had the mating bond right now at least then Dean wouldn't be able to hide from him, he would be able to tell his every emotion even if he hated it. Adam might have been an abusive asshole but he had never lied to him…well apart from the whole mate thing…he had never withheld information especially stuff that would hurt him. He was all about telling him the truth of the situation and watching him suffer. Yes his honestly hurt but in a way Sam missed it, he missed knowing what was going on and being able to read the other man. Dean was a mystery, he had no idea how to determine his moods, whether or not to talk, what to say or sometimes what to even do. Dean was an enigma he had yet to crack and he wasn't sure mating would even solve half the problem.

Dean's breathing evened out and slowly his arm fell from his eyes to the side of the bed and yet Sam still was awake. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened out there in the woods. Dean had been sketchy on the details and that could only mean one thing to him, that he had somehow lost control. Had he done something he shouldn't have? What if Dean was pretending to be ok when something bad had happened? But John would have said something…wouldn't he? He could go over there and ask Mary but that wasn't his place.

"You're thinking too loud," Dean grumbled his arm pulling Sam closer into his chest.

"Sorry," he mumbled automatically.

"What's on your mind?" Dean asked lifting up slowly yawning.

"Nothing."

"Sammy…"

"It's just you won't talk to me I can tell something happened out there and you won't tell me what it is. We are meant to be mates…is that why you are putting it off…because then you can't hide from me…"

Dean shook his head sighing. "No, I don't want to rush you I told you."

"Well maybe I'm ready," Sam interrupted, his body began to shake at the thought. All those eyes staring at him as they mated, as they became one...with Adam it had felt like a nightmare…even with Dean just the feeling of being watched…it was enough to make his skin crawl.

"Really?" Dean snorted.

"Yes!" Sam shouted his body shaking more violently.

"Say that again without shaking," Dean sighed his hands stroking Sam's bare arms.

"I just want to get it over and done with," he admitted, flinching when he felt Dean pause at his choice of words.

"Over and done with," Dean repeated pushing away. He pulled out from underneath Sam and turned so that he sat on the edge of the bed, his hands running through his bed hair making it stick up in all directions. "Like ripping off a band aid," the alpha snorted. "Is it that horrible being with me?"

"NO!" Sam shouted sitting up with his back pressed against the head of the bed.

"Mating isn't about getting it over and done with," Dean held his head in his hands with his words directed at the floor though Sam heard him all the same. "It's about finding the other half to your soul…it's about tying your life to each other's…I can see why you don't want to be with me."

"Dean…"

"I get it Sam, I really do," Dean pushed himself to his feet and strode over to the chair where he had thrown a pair of sweat pants. He stumbled into them, his body shaking with barely concealed emotion. "Who would want a defective Alpha? Who would want a wolf who can't become a wolf in fear of hurting someone? Who would want a mess like me?" he laughed sarcastically. "You want to know what happened in the woods?" his green eyes glinted in the afternoon sunlight making it look like fire danced within them. "I fucked up, I lost control! Happy now!" he declared throwing his arms out in front of him. "I couldn't save that girl, if I could shift, if I could have gotten there sooner…I could have saved her…" his voice became sad as he shook his head like he was getting rid of his raging emotions. "I fucked up, I'm a useless fucking Alpha, I wouldn't want me either!" he declared throwing the door open and storming out of the room before Sam had a chance to react.

For a moment the Omega sat there awe struck, Dean's declaration had come unexpectedly, he had no idea his Alpha felt like that. Yes he had heard other were's talk that way about him but never anyone important. He heard the front door slam before he sprang into action. He grabbed his jeans and the nearest jacket not caring about a top. He threw these on, noticing that the jacket was Dean's, before running after his mate hoping he had not ventured too far.

…

Dean was sitting on the grass in front of their house, his eyes staring at the mural with his lips set in a tight scowl. Sam paused in the doorway, the sun's rays were beaming down on him, casting him in a beautiful glow. His chest heaved with every breath and his muscles stood out as he forwent a top when he had stormed out. He painted a sad yet stunning picture, knowing that this was the man he wanted for an Alpha he couldn't help but feel inadequate.

Slowly he walked over to Dean, he sat beside him not touching the other wolf but within reaching distance if he decided he wasn't going to run away. Dean stayed where he was, so far so good. "I do want you," he whispered watching Dean flinch with those words. "I've never wanted something so much in my life," he added his hand carefully reaching out, his thumb traced a pattern on the back of Dean's scrunched fist. "It's not you I don't want, if anything you shouldn't want me. I'm used goods."

"Don't you ever say that," Dean replied his eyes lifting to look at him. "What was done to you wasn't your fault."

"And what you go through is yours?"

"It's different."

"How is it? You was born this way, do you blame Alpha or Mary?"

"No!"

"Then how can you blame yourself? I know what it is like spending your life thinking everything is your fault, that you aren't good enough, or that you can't do anything right. Trying to please everyone all the time without a single thought of yourself. I never thought I could be anything more than an Omega," Dean's hand turned upwards so Sam took this as an invitation and entwined his fingers with the Alpha's. "You make me feel like I can be something more. You make me feel safe, you protected me from Adam, you shifted and managed to stay in control, we all fall at some points. There's a difference between falling and stumbling if you only let someone help pick you back up."

Dean shook his head a small smile on his lips. "When did you get so smart?"

"I had a chat with Mary," he shrugged. "She made me think a lot."

"Mum does that," Dean agreed sighing.

"I want you Dean, all of you. Do you want me?"

"Of course…I…" Dean paused his eyes searching Sam's for some kind of answer. "I think I love you."

Sam smiled pressing a kiss to Dean's lips. "Good because I think I love you too." He whispered into the Alpha's mouth feeling the smile grow. They kissed for a few more moments, enjoying each other's company before pulling apart. "So yeah I'm ready to mate whenever you are."

"We don't need to rush, when the moment takes us."

"Don't we need to plan?" Sam asked his brow furrowing.

"Plan what?"

"The mating ceremony…" The words died on his lips at the amused look the Alpha was giving him.

"Sammy, no one does that anymore, Adam was an asshole for making you think of it." Dean shook his head growling at the mention of his brother's name. "I bet he just wanted to watch me suffer…" he growled before seeming to gain control. "When we mate it will be in our bedroom, just us, so we don't need to rush."

Sam nodded relief flooding his system, he was so glad he didn't need to be in front of the whole pack when he gets knotted. Most of them might have already seen him naked but that's different compared to when he has a dick in his ass, somethings should just stay in the bedroom.

"Let's get some rest before the moon," Sam said pushing past his embarrassment. He led the Alpha back into the house satisfied that he had been able to dispel that situation.

Dean might be a mess but so was he, they could be messes together, or make messes together either one worked for him.

TBC (Hey there, hope you enjoyed, had to get this chat out of the way so our boys could be in a better place emotionally with one another. I promise the mating will happen soon! As always my dear reader thank you for taking your time to enjoy this story I am creating. It means so much to hear from you so thank you. See you all in Chapter Eleven!)