Meggie's POV
I was sitting on the deerskin that was supposed to be my bed. I sighed, and thought of my bed back at Elinor's house. Nice, big, and fluffy! I clearly remembered the day Elinor and I, along with Resa, had gone shopping for those huge down pillows that covered my bed. Mmmmm! They had been so soft! The deerskin had nothing on those pillows! I curled myself in to an upright ball and loosely wrapped my arms around my legs. I paused for a moment, and saw that everyone else was deeply asleep. I knew I should be getting to sleep. It was already 11:00. I was lonely, and had nothing but this deerskin for company. I finally decided to let myself think those forbidden thoughts. The ones about Farid. I fight them in the day when I'm around people, and at night I'm usually too scared to allow myself to think about him. But tonight I feel different. Like there won't be any pain if I think about him. I hope the feeling's right, because I can't bear to face the pain otherwise. Oh! How he used to touch me! He used to stroke my face so gently, like I was a fragile glass woman. He used to hold my hand, and warm it in his large ones. I could almost hear his voice, calling my name the way he used to when he rode in to the camp. Wait, I could hear his voice. "Meggie!" There it was! Soft, due to the time, but still very clear. I removed my arms from my legs, and stood. I walked to the mouth of the cave, and gasped. There he stood, mounted on his horse the color of my hair. He was even taller now, even sitting down. He had a smile on his face, and quickly dismounted. "Meggie." He said my name carefully, like it might shatter in to a thousand pieces if he said it too loud. "Farid." I said, surprised that he was actually here. It was like my thinking about him had brought him here. He took a step closer, and then stopped. "I was hoping to see you here." He murmured. My surprise quickly melted in to anger. "Where have you been?" I said angrily, my voice quivering from the weight of the words. "I wanted you! I missed you so much! But no, Dustfinger was more important! All those times you weren't around! How could you have just left me! Is there no heart at all in you? Oh yes, the one that belongs to Dustfinger!" I stopped suddenly, bursting in to tears. "I hoped! I was a fool for doing it, and I still did! I hoped you would come back to me! But you never did!" I was making such a fool of myself, crying my eyes out and shouting these things at him, but I didn't care. All the words I shouted were true. Farid didn't look so happy now. In fact, he looked downright miserable. "I never wanted to lea-" He started. "No! Don't say that! Don't because it isn't true! If you didn't want to leave then you wouldn't have!" I cut him off. Farid stopped. "Okay. You're right." He conceded. This surprised me. I wasn't expecting this agreeing with what I said. "I did want to leave. I wanted to leave with Dustfinger. My idol. But an idol is different from a lover." Am I really your lover?! I wanted to shout at him. But I didn't. I didn't because I knew the answer. I was. I always had been.