I had no intention of going away from almost an entire MONTH! I'm so sorry for being MIA for so long, here's a new chapter.

There is some mention of abuse and stuff of the nature, this is a trigger warning.

"Whatever I tell you can't leave this room, no one can know about it. Not even Rose and Scorpius because my friends don't even know."

"Of course," he told me, turning his body completely to face me. "Everything you tell me stays between us."

"Okay, so, Stef and I are muggleborns; until he turned eleven and got his letter, we just thought there was something wrong with us. I mean, why else did things happen without our consent or us even realizing it?" I asked, figuring I'd start out small and work up to the big stuff. "My mum was understanding, ecstatic even, when she found out the two of us were wizards, but dad wasn't."

How do I even go about explaining my father to him? I'd never told anyone about him and to my knowledge neither had Stef. We swore to each other we'd take the secret to the grave, but it was eating me alive inside. Maybe telling one person wouldn't be so bad.

"What do you mean? Did he not understand what it meant?" Sev asked, encouraging me to keep going.

"Uhm, he wasn't big on talking or trying to understand things. He liked to drink instead," I said carefully. "He got really upset when he drank and usually came home really, really angry. He'd scream at my mum, and then he'd come find me and Stef. Stef tried to hide me away and it worked most of the time, but sometimes he would still find me.

"He was really violent, yanking me places and stuff. Stef took most of the actual hits in my place," I said, not looking at Sev's face because I knew I'd lose it if I did. "He broke my wrist once, that's how I knew it wasn't broken this time."

"Oh," he breathed, smart enough to not reach out and touch me or offer his condolences. "Is that everything?"

"No, he left when I was twelve and Stef was thirteen," I continued, it was like someone had turned a facet in my head and I couldn't stop the words from leaking out. "He has a new, muggle family and has been sober for three years."

"None of that's your fault, Ana. It's his for being a terrible person and not appreciating what he had," Sev finally spoke.

I looked up at him and saw his face was completely open and vulnerable to me. You'd think I would be the only one vulnerable right now, but I guess I was wrong. He didn't usually talk to people this much, this was an experience for the both of us.

"Then why does it feel like it is? He wouldn't have had to drink if we weren't wizards. He wouldn't have walked out if we'd been better kids, if I'd been better," I said, unshed tears making my voice thick. "It's all my fault."

I moved forward without thinking and wrapped my arms around his middle. He timidly maneuvered himself so I could lay against his side and he could hold me close. For a kid that never left the library, he was pretty good at comforting people.

"That's why you were so cold to me at the party, wasn't it? Because I shouted at you," he told me, running his fingers through my hair as he spoke.

"You don't miss much, do you, Potter?" I asked in a watery voice. "Yeah, I can't handle it when people shout or raise their voice at me. It tears my nerves to pieces."

He tightened his grip on me and my chest felt lighter because of it. "I'm so sorry, I was afraid you were setting me up for a prank. I mean, no one ever invites me to anything even James. I never got an invite to any of their parties last year."

Stef always invited me, even when I helped set it up. "I'm sorry you thought I'd play that kind of prank on you. I do play them, but I'd never do anything like that. I'd never hurt someone's feelings for the sake of a laugh."

"That's good to know, Ana," he smiled, resting one of his hands chastely on my waist where my jeans covered my skin. "Is there anything else you want to talk about while we're here?"

"I feel like I have to impress Stef because he stepped up so much when dad left. He made sure I was safe and taken care of, mum looked at him as her equal a lot," I told him, figuring I'd tell him everything. "I just want him to be proud and think I'm keeping up his reputation my final year here."

"Those are some pretty big shoes to fill, a lot of weight on your shoulders," he told me, twisting my hair around his finger absentmindedly.

"Yeah, it gets a bit overwhelming sometimes," I admitted, running my fingers over the fabric of his sweater. "I bottle up a lot of stuff, Lexi doesn't even know about my anxiety and we've been best mates since we were eleven."

"Well, you can always talk to me," he told me, running his fingers through my hair soothingly. "Is there anything else?"

"I hate shouting so much, it used to send me into immediate anxiety attacks." I couldn't look at him, I would lose my nerve. "Like, worse than the one you saw earlier."

"Do you take any kind of potion or anything for it?" he asked, rubbing my shoulder with his rough fingertips. "My mum and aunt Hermione take them from time to time because of the war, ya know?"

The war was awful, especially for witches like me. His aunt Hermione was actually a personal hero of mine, but I usually kept that to myself. People knew how much I idolized his Uncle George for obvious reasons, I just knew I could never live up to the brilliant Hermione Granger-Weasley.

"I used to take something when I was younger, but it made it hard to think," I told him, drawing shapes on his stomach. "I should probably talk to a doctor about it over break."

"I have it, too, you know? Anxiety." It must've been time for him to do some spilling of his own. "It's why I'm in the library so much, I don't like being around people or in big groups. It makes me nervous and claustrophobic."

That made me look up at him in surprise. James Potter was the loudest, most outgoing person I've ever met and Lily was well on her way to being the same. Now that I was actually looking at him, I couldn't see the family resemblance as clearly as I always had. Maybe it was because I was finally seeing the Sev Potter that he hid away from prying eyes.

"That must be hard considering who your parents are," I finally said, trying to find the right words to comfort him. "I'm sorry, I suck at comforting people."

"Can I ask you a serious question?" His hands stilled in my hair as his chest lifted under my head and he took a deep breath.

"I mean, you know things about me my best friend doesn't even know. I'm not sure there's much about me you don't know, but go ahead."

"Did you dad ever actually hit you?" I should've known that question was coming, it was the only thing I left out.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I didn't talk about that much. Yeah, it happened sometimes," I told him without being too specific.

"How often is sometimes?" he prodded gently.

"No more than twenty no less than ten."

"I'm sorry."

We laid on the couch together for almost an hour after that before I looked at Sev's watch. "It's almost time for your rounds. I'd better go make sure the Room of Requirement is still standing."

My booties were always hard to put on, but I ended up losing my balance in the middle of pulling them on. Sev chuckled and wrapped his arm around me, helping me stand up as I shoved my foot into them and laced them up. I checked my makeup in the mirror on the wall and did a quick clean up spell for my running eyeliner and puffy eyes.

"You look beautiful."

I NEVER blushed or got flustered when it came to boys. Yet here I was with pink cheeks from a little compliment from Sev Potter. What the hell was happening to me right now? This was not the Ella I was supposed to be.

We went out same way we'd come in, me staying close to Sev so I didn't get lost or fall. We walked through the hallways without speaking. I didn't know what to say to him, I'm not usually much of a sharer. What do you say to someone who knew your deepest, darkest secrets?

"Where do you have to make your rounds tonight?" I asked lamely.

"I'm a Head, I have to do the entire castle that's inbounds," he answered, tucking his hands in his pockets.

Thankfully, we made it to the Room and the awkwardness could end. I paced three times in front of the wall and the door appeared. I looked back up at Sev and saw that he was already looking down at me, his eyes guarded.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed. He was surprised at first, but he slowly wrapped his arms around me. He smelled like mint, ink, and a hint of some cologne I couldn't name. There was no way it should feel so safe in someone's arms, it wasn't healthy.

"Thank you." My voice was barely above a whisper as I spoke against his wool-covered chest. "For tonight, I didn't know how much I needed to talk until I started and couldn't stop."

"I'm weird and quiet and always have ink stains on my fingers, but I'm also a good listener," he informed me, his breath rustling my hair.

Reluctantly, I pulled out of his embrace and grabbed the doorknob. Even if it was my party, I would rather go back to the Heads' common room and cuddle back up with Sev on the couch. I wasn't much of a cuddler nor was I clingy, yet here we were.

"Well, I should probably get back to my party now," I told him awkwardly. "Something about it being rude to leave and stuff."

I turned around quickly and opened the door, slipping inside instead of looking back at him. The party had died down and the room was mostly people passed out or sitting around talking in drunken slurs.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Alexia asked, rushing over to me without her shoes on and her lipstick smeared across her cheek. "I looked for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere."

I glanced behind her and saw Diego coming out of a closet she must've placed there after I left. He was zipping up his fly and things immediately fell into place. She'd been sucking him off in a closet after her best friend had a minor breakdown. Real classy, Lex.

"I'm here now, it's not a big deal."

There was no reason for me to be angry, I kept the secret of my past from her. Yet a nagging voice in the back of my head argued with me. If she really cared about my wellbeing, wouldn't she ask questions? Like, I came back from the library yesterday and almost had a breakdown in the common room, but she didn't ask what was wrong. What kind of best friend did that?

"I'm going to the dorm, you do whatever you want," I sighed, turning on my heel and heading to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She didn't even try to stop me from walking away, she must've been too drunk. The walk down to the dungeons was colder than I thought it would be. I guess that meant I should start wearing more clothing, it was winter after all. I was wearing a crop top, it wasn't much of a stretch why I was so cold.

"Mocha Truffles."

The door of the common room whooshed open and I ignored the snide remarks coming from the portrait on the door. It was something about being a "dirty mudblood infesting the sacred common room" or something. Like usual, I just let it roll off my back and slammed the door shut harder than necessary.

There was a couple people lying on the leather couches, passed out from drinking too much I assumed. I went to the dorm room and showered, the warm water taking some of the tension from my shoulders. Then I curled up in a big t-shirt under the plush duvet, falling asleep faster than I thought possible.

Sorry about how late this is, don't hate me.