Hermione Down Under
Chapter 15 How the Other Side Lives
Life was much simpler when they had amnesia, Mr. Granger thought bitterly. Choices in life were more constrained. Under amnesia the Grangers did not know that they had valuable dental skills, and professional certifications. They thought that they had limited options in England and had decided to go to Australia to seek their fortune, eventually taking jobs at a farm. Now there were suddenly a wide range of choices: should they take up their dental careers again? Work in Australia or in England? Fortunately they had already arranged their move to Australia before being hit by forgetfulness, and had dutifully informed patients of their departure. Since people customarily did not see their dentists more than twice a year, many patients might stay loyal if the Grangers went back home.
But a far more worrisome challenge was Minnie. Within a few minutes time, the Grangers had suddenly remembered that they had a beloved daughter, and that the beloved daughter had taken away their memories. It was hard to absorb. Their response had been to blame Minnie's action on the corrupting effects of the wizard environment, but how well did they understand the Wizard World? Minnie claimed that events justified her action, but then she also thought that she could single-handedly change the wizard world. Had Minnie lost her sense of proportion?
On the other hand, could Minnie be right about the possibility of a young girl singlehandedly bringing about change? The Wizard World was not a modern nation like Great Britain or Australia; its entire population was far less than London's. It was a clan of a few thousand people who might personally know each other, or even be related to each other. Maybe an individual could count for more there. Which still didn't justify Minnie's attack on them.
The parents had tried to persuade Minnie to leave the Wizard World altogether. It would mean catching up on a missed modern education, but Minnie was clever enough to absorb a lot of new knowledge in a short time. But instead of answering Yea or Nay, Minnie had simply vanished. For a few frantic hours the parents had feared that Minnie had already made her decision and walked out on them, possibly forever. Yet the station administrators said "Mr. and Mrs. Walker" had not checked out. Had Minnie simply gone off on her own business, not bothering to keep her parents informed? Or could she have underestimated the danger of this Voldemort person, and be in trouble now?
"There's an interesting new guest," Mrs. Granger observed as she and her husband retired for the evening. "Very young, about Minnie's age. I'm not supposed to deal directly with the guests, of course, but I heard her talking while I was working in the kitchen."
Mr. Granger privately wondered whether his wife's interest in the guest might be an attempt to find a temporary Minnie-substitute, but he did not say so out loud. If they couldn't solve their problems at the moment, it was good to be distracted. "What did she say?"
"Well, the conversation started with the awful American woman, Mrs. Agon, complaining again about how boring sheep were compared to the cattle they herded in the American West. Then the girl spoke up and told the most delightful story. About how sheep are really powerful, angel-like beings in disguise, hiding their glory under a bushel, or rather under a lot of wool. If you knew the right magic word, the sheep would appear in its true form and reward people who had been kind to it, or scold them if they had been ba-a-a-a-ad. That got the ball rolling. One guest who teaches English quoted William Blake's "Little Lamb, who made thee", and another, probably a preacher in ordinary life, talked about the religious symbolism of sheep and shepherds. Mrs. Agon was cast quite in the shade. The amazing thing, according to the waiters, was that the girl told the story with a completely straight face. Almost as if she believed it."
"What's her name, in case I see her tomorrow?" asked Mr. Granger.
"I didn't catch her surname, but she called herself Linda, I think. I got a brief glimpse of her – the main features I noticed were long blonde hair and her odd taste in clothes - a big Texas hat and a muslin dress, as if she was trying to imitate two Western stereotypes at the same time."
Mr. Granger was not that interested in seeing the girl. He was on the lookout for Minnie. But by late afternoon the next day, Minnie still had not shown up, and he did encounter "Linda", under odd circumstances.
He was delivering some hay to the stables for the horses, and saw several girls arguing. As he had discovered several weeks ago on taking this job, guests talked openly in front of the hired help as if the help wasn't there.
Apparently one girl was trying to interest another in learning to ride, and was not having much luck.
"I don't know how you can enjoy dealing with those animals," said the newcomer. "I can smell the horse s*** from here, and it's nauseating."
"Actually," said a high-pitched female voice, "it depends on how you look at it."
"I don't know who you are," said the horse-hater, turning around, "but I don't relish looking at horse s*** either."
"I was speaking figuratively," said the high-pitched voice. Mr. Granger saw that she was a young woman with long blonde hair as his wife had described. "Manure is nourishing to plants. I read about a Herbologist who said she had talked to some plants about it. They like it. It seems that dung from some types of animals is sort of a delicacy, and others are more like fast food –"
"Yuck," said the other girl. "I'm getting out of here before you ruin my appetite. You can go talk to your flowers and discuss your favourite types of crap." She stomped back toward the main buildings. The third girl gave the blonde a peculiar look, and followed.
The blonde shrugged and turned to Mr. Granger. "Excuse me, I'd like to hire a horse. Could you tell me how to go about it?"
Mr. Granger pretended not to have heard the preceding bizarre exchange. "I'll take you to the person in charge. Are you an experienced rider?"
"Oh yes. I once rode from Scotland to London. On a thestral, anyway."
Mr. Granger had no idea what a thestral was, but let it slide. He thought it might be some slang word used by the girl's particular horsy set. "Come with me."
After introducing the girl to the employee in charge of renting out the horses, Mr. Granger focused on unloading the bales of hay. He emerged to find the blonde astride on one of the riding horses. In spite of her boasted experience, she seemed to be having difficulty even getting it to walk.
The girl put her hand inside her coat and pulled out a stick. For a shocked moment, Mr. Granger thought that she was going to use it as a riding crop and whip the horse, in plain violation of the rules. Instead she waved the stick over the horse's head. The horse obediently trotted away from the stable, then broke into a gallop.
Oh my God. The girl has a wand and magic powers; she's a witch. Maybe she knows where Minnie is.
Mr. Granger dashed into the stable and persuaded the manager to loan him another horse. A minute later he was galloping after the girl. At first he was afraid she would see him following her: you could see a long way in the grasslands and a horse and rider were hard to hide. But the girl seemed quite single-minded upon her task and oblivious to everything else. This was not a tourist having a pleasant ride: the girl was concentrating on getting somewhere.
Suddenly she reigned in her horse. By a fortunate coincidence, there was a small clump of eucalyptus trees nearby; Mr. Granger rode behind them. As long as she did not look closely, and his horse made no noise, he might be able to stay hidden.
The girl drew another object out of her coat, this time Mr. Granger could not see what it was, though it seemed vaguely disk-like. She stared at it for a while, then pulled out her wand again. "Expecto patronum!"
Mr. Granger, as a medical practitioner, knew enough Latin to understand the phrase: "I await a guardian." He definitely wasn't prepared for the form that the "guardian" took.
A spot of light appeared a few meters to the girl's right, then expanded into a radiant ball, finally taking the form of a large white rabbit. Mr. Granger gasped. Australian farmers generally did not like rabbits: they were pests that bred, well, like rabbits, particularly in Ausralia where they lacked natural enemies. But this glowing rabbit of light was lovely. He had never known that magic could create something so beautiful.
"Tell her I've found the elf, and bring her back here," directed the girl.
The rabbit hopped and vanished. All of this blinking seemed to startle the girl's horse, but she patted and soothed it. No magic this time – she seemed to have a natural way with animals.
There was a large POP sound, and Mr. Granger's own daughter Minnie materialized out of thin air. Mr. Granger nearly called out, but startling witches whose wands could be weapons was not a good idea.
"Hi, Hermione," the equestrienne said calmly, as if Minnie had simply strolled into a room. She waved her disk. "My magic detection spell worked. I've located the Elf. She seems to be camped out in the grasslands, just as Ron said."
"Good!" said Minnie, looking slightly surprised at the success but tactfully hiding it. "I'm sorry that you had to do all the work, Luna."
"It had to be done this way," Luna explained. "Having two nearby witches would have swamped the detection spell altogether, and even nearby Muggles can affect it. But by riding out here alone, I was able to get a signal. She's THAT way, about a mile away." Luna pointed to the direction she spoke of.
"It was clever of you to have remembered that spell. Can I ride behind you on your horse?"
"Oh yes. I deliberately asked for a sturdy animal when I started it out, so that it could bear both our weights. I was tempted to order two horses, but that would have looked odd."
Minnie had that ambivalent expression again, as if thinking and not wanting to say that Luna already looked odd. She crossed over to the horse's left and hoisted herself up behind the blonde, putting her arms around Luna's waist to keep her balance. The action was a fortunate one for Mr. Granger, because neither girl was likely to turn around and see Mr. Granger following them. Minnie was too precariously balanced on the horse's rump to twist around, and Luna's view would be blocked by Minnie herself. Mr. Granger emerged from behind the tree and rode after them.
"What did you lot do while waiting for my Patronus?" asked Luna.
"We've been going around bookstores in Brisbane. Ron has promised to read up on some Muggle history, and even though he may just be humouring me, I wanted to encourage him. Unfortunately most of the bookstores seemed to be focusing on bestsellers and stuff about computers. One store sold us a book called the AGE OF VOLTAIRE, and promised to order other books from "the Amazon", whoever she is. I've run into enough superwomen for a life-"
A second woman materialized, between Mr. Granger 's mount and the girls'.
"Minnie!" called the father. The time for concealment was over. "Watch out behind you!"
"Daddy! Luna, turn us around!"
The newcomer, a staturesque woman with hair even in more disarray than Luna's, pointed a wand at Mr. Granger. Meanwhile Luna urged her horse to turn broadsides to the other two.
"Don't touch my Dad!" called Minnie, drawing her wand. "I know how to cast the killing curse. I don't care if you've lived thousands of years; if you hurt my Dad, I'll kill you."
It was worth all the confusion of the past few days to hear his daughter to say that.
The new woman's response was oddly nonchalant, She tossed her wand to the ground toward the girls. "I'm not going to hurt anybody. I have what I wanted now. There's your gentleman friend's wand back."
Minnie slipped off the horse while Luna kept the woman covered with her own wand. Luna was so unpredictable that she could be scary in her own way, like a loose cannon. Minnie picked up the discarded wand, then circled around the newcomer to stand with her father. She ran her left arm around her father's waist while keeping her wands firmly pointed with her right hand.
"I see that you two woman know about me now. Apparently my silence charm on the boy did not work."
"Luna broke it," said Minnie. The blonde girl looked rather proud. "You claim to be an Elf from the era of the LORD OF THE RINGS, dependent on other people's moods."
"And this Muggle-"
"I know about witches," said Mr. Granger. "My daughter can explain the rest to me later."
"Then I don't have to explain about needing good thoughts. I misjudged you, miss," said the Elf. "I knew about how you treated your parents and your lovers, and thought you were unworthy. But your gentleman friend defended you."
"That was wonderful of Ron," Minnie said wistfully.
"So I set up a test. I arranged for you to see your gentleman friend with a girl you did not recognize, and encouraged you to think the worst. Then I arranged for the girl to have a near-accident, to see what you would do. You did the noble thing, rescuing her from being run over."
"You bitch! You endangered Luna's life just to satisfy a crazy test?"
This was not the moment to scold Minnie about her language. Besides, Mr. Granger couldn't think of a better epithet himself.
"She was not in danger. I would have rescued her if you hadn't. The point is, you passed. After that, I let you get away. Now I have 3 good witches believing in my existence, and my power has increased."
"Hmmph. You hypocrite, you don't care about good and evil in themselves, how they help or blight people's lives. It's just whether they strengthen you."
"If you want people to believe in you," said Luna suddenly. "There's another way." She spoke rather matter-of-factly, as if she had solved a puzzle in the Quibbler.
"Oh?"
"You got a lot of power when that English scholar wrote that book, right? Well, there are other art forms. I learnt about a new one just a few days ago, a seminar."
"Cinema," Minnie corrected hastily.
"I've heard of them. Thought they were a fad," said the older woman dismissively.
Mr. Granger supposed that to a woman who had lived for centuries, a technology that had been around since 1900 must still seem ephemeral.
"If you could persuade somebody to make a ci-ne-ma of LORD OF THE RINGS, and people liked looking at the elves and hobbits and things, wouldn't that give you a lot of power?"
"It might," the woman said softly. "Who would I persuade?"
"I certainly don't know, I just learned about them," Luna said frankly. "But you're thousands of years old, and you've recently got new strength. Couldn't you afford to look around a few years and learn about them? If not in Australia, maybe in New Zealand-"
The woman stood thoughtfully, and suddenly she vanished.
Mr. Granger sighed with relief. The suggestion had gotten rid of the Elf. But both women were being naive; they didn't realize that to produce the impressive screen images required actors, locations, special effects, costing millions of pounds. LORD OF THE RINGS, which he had read years earlier, had dozens of characters, numerous settings, and a lot of magic to fake; it would be prohibitively expensive to turn into a film .
A few years later, he was to learn otherwise, and remember that Luna Lovegood was the first to think of it.
TO BE CONTINUED
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: The AGE OF VOLTAIRE is a real book, part of a series on world history , by William and Ariel Durant)