Dean sat on the edge of his seat, his foot tapping on the floor in a constant rhythm, he was humming Metallica and his whole body was thrumming with all this nervous energy. It had been an hour since Zachariah had been taken away and the were council had given the Winchester's their formal apology with an arrest warrant out in force for Adam. Though the treaty with the hunters was not in place anymore the ones that had been present for Ellen's shooting had agreed that they would not hunt them as long as they only shifted in their pack lands. As soon as they go outside then it would become the hunter's issue. So that meant that John would have to organise a constant perimeter guard to make sure that the pack obeyed to the rules on a full moon, in other words it would become Dean's job as the only non-shifter to make sure that no one left the lands. But he couldn't worry about that now.

He glanced up at the clock that was silently ticking away to itself above his head, taunting him with every second that passed with no news. He didn't know what he was thinking, why had he done it? Ellen had wanted it to end, she had wanted to be with Jo and he had just denied her of that request. He didn't even know if it had even worked, whether he actually have enough venom in his body to induce a change in a human. He was glad that the other hunters understood, seemed a lot of them had a lot of love and respect for Ellen that they didn't want to see her dead and they mentioned that they wouldn't hunt her so Dean guessed that was a start at least.

Sam and Bobby had disappeared somewhere together without saying anything, John had called an emergency meeting with the pack which he was hosting with Mary by his side as usual. Dean didn't have the heart to go, he didn't want to face them. Not yet. Not when he brought all of this madness down upon them in the first place. Instead he had thanked Anna for believing in him, turns out she knew Missouri which was why she knew that Dean had to be good people. Apparently Missouri is an excellent judge of character, had to do with the whole psychic thing. She had offered her a place on the were council which she accepted so she too had left. Though she told Dean to call her anytime he needed and to let her know if Adam was ever since skulking around. To him it felt like everyone had just left him.

He didn't know what to do or where to go. A part of him wanting to hide in his house, another wanted to get into the Impala and just drive but he couldn't leave. Not again. He had to face the music this time after all everything that had happened here was all down to him. No one else. If he hadn't found that rogue then they wouldn't have been in this mess. Not for the first time in his life he got to thinking that everyone would be better off if he wasn't around. Trouble seemed to follow him wherever he went and his loved ones always ended up getting hurt no matter how hard he tried to protect them. God if something happened to Sam…he wouldn't be able to survive it…well he would…but he wouldn't want to.

Dean stopped his tapping and crossed his arms to his chest, surely they must have news by now? How long did it take for his poison to work? Did it even work or was he too late? He glanced at the clock once more not sure how Ellen would take the news if she was a wolf. She was a hunter, why did he think she would want to become something she used to hunt. God had he royally messed up again?

The door to the medical ward opened and the doctor who had been treating Ellen stepped out. He had a bright smile on his face which reached his blue eyes. The doctor had been looking after their pack for the last forty years or so, in fact he had delivered Dean himself which he liked to remind him of every day. How he had gripped him tight and delivered him into the world. Not that anyone really wants to know the full details of their own birth.

"How is she Dr Novak?" Dean asked his fingers tapping against his knee.

"She's awake, all her vital signs are positive, it seems that the venom has taking. There is no lasting damage from the bullet we are just lucky that it wasn't silver," Dr Novak exclaimed flicking through his chart. "Frankly I am surprised that it even worked."

"You and me both," Dean murmured running his hands through his hair.

"I'm serious Dean, the venom you had…it's genetically impossible. I have your notes here…you was tested when you was born and you have no venom. What you done shouldn't have happened."

Dean pulled his hands away from his head and stood to his full height. "What about me isn't," he sighed looking through the crack in the double doors. "How pissed is she?"

Dr Novak smirked closing the folder he had in his hands, he patted Dean on the shoulder and took his leave that smile never leaving his face. Dean grumbled under his breath, great. He had half a mind to turn away and not look back. He had had enough of running, he needed to face his problems and his messes head on from now on. He wasn't a coward…god that woman scared him.

He drew in a deep breath and forced himself to walk through the doors and into medical bay one where he knew Ellen was waiting. He hesitated outside of the curtain not sure what he was going to say to her…sorry I couldn't let you die? Sorry you are now a monster…Before he changed his mind he pulled the curtain back and stepped inside.

…

Sam stared down into the river below, the water twirled in a seductive matter as it teased the rocks. He leaned against the carving of Mary and John's names, needing some time to get his head together. Truth be told he was scared to face the aftermath of Dean's decisions. He had heard the talk, how the pack was concerned that Dean wasn't fit to rule, that this whole mess proved that he wasn't ready. There had even be some who voiced their opinions to John telling him that he needed to make another Alpha to crown. Others had nothing but praise to be said of the young Alpha. Yes Dean liked to jump in head first, he liked to shoot first and ask questions later but his heart was always in the right place. Seeing him bite Ellen like that…he didn't know what to think. Dean had let her get shot, he had used her as leverage and then brought her back as one of them…he didn't know what his mate had been thinking.

He groaned and leaned his head on the cool stone, his eyes never leaving the water like it was going to solve all of his problems. He wanted to be by his Alpha's side but he wasn't sure he would be much use to the man right now. He didn't know what to say. They all could have died today. He should feel lucky to be alive. He should feel grateful. All he could think of was the people who had been used in this sick game of Adam's. How he had been used, Jo, the were council and the rest of the pack. He had left no one untouched. He was a poison trying to spread to Dean and Sam didn't know how to stop him. He wanted to protect his Alpha but he felt powerless. He was an omega what could he do? He could have lost Dean again today…too many times in the past half a year he could have lost his mate. He didn't think he could go through with it again, one time he wasn't going to be so lucky.

Why couldn't they have been left alone? Why couldn't Dean have belonged to a normal unimportant family? Why couldn't they have been able to have led a normal life?

"You missed the meeting," a voice called out startling Sam out of his thoughts. He jumped slightly as he lifted his head to notice Mary walking towards him. She had a small smile on her face though her normal vibrant blue eyes had been dulled slightly. "John has set up a guard," she added standing beside Sam her own arms resting on the stone, her eyes staring down at her own name. "I like to come out here and think too."

"It's peaceful," Sam added not knowing what to say.

"Don't be hard on my pup," Mary said turning her body to the side so that she could look Sam in the eye. "I know what it seemed like with Ellen but it wasn't Dean's decision. Ellen sacrificed herself for him, she told him what she wanted."

"Really?"

"You know Dean, do you think he would ever do anything that would cause someone to get hurt on purpose?"

"No, he has a hero complex if you ask me," Sam scoffed.

"That's my boy," Mary smiled with it reaching her eyes this time. "How has he been? He looks like he has lost weight. Where have you been? He's been safe right?" Mary rambled reaching up to play with a necklace that hung over her heart. "Sorry," she sighed. "Ever since he left all I could do was worry about him, I know he is twenty six and reached full maturity but I can't just turn it off. I think I drove John crazy."

Sam smiled at the woman, no one could doubt how much her family meant to her. He could see Dean in her more and more every day. "He's been coping, he missed you too," he said not wanting to say too much. "He will be better now for being home."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Something must be troubling you for you to be out here on your own, if it's about what Dean has done…"

"No…yes…I don't know. I just feel like nothing has been normal…when is life going to give us a break?"

Mary laughed her hand reaching out to squeeze at Sam's forearm. "Honey you are a Winchester now, life is never going to be easy. The Alpha's may act all tough like they can handle everything that gets thrown at them but they will always need us standing by their side. More so when you start your own family. Family is the most important part of your life and you need to cherish it every moment that you have because you don't know when it's going to be taken away from you. Stand by Dean no matter what and be the strength that he needs to get through each day and you will thrive. Trust me he will need you more than ever. Whatever he has done it can be forgiven, he will make stupid rash decisions and he will doubt himself but he mustn't see you doubt him too." Mary leaned forward and brushed a stray hair out of Sam's eye. "You are good for my son, I don't have to worry knowing he has you."

"Never changed have you Mary," Bobby's voice called out breaking through their moment. He was standing at the foot of the bridge with his hands in his pocket, a gesture Sam had worked out meant that he was nervous.

"As I live and breathe, is that you Bobby Singer?" Mary exclaimed pulling away from Sam to walk over to him. "What brings you back here to our part of town?"

"Sam."

"Mary, he's my dad," Sam explained his smile widening at being able to use that word again. He finally had a family, he finally knew where he came from.

"I didn't expect that, does John know you are here?"

"Not yet."

Mary linked her arm with Bobby and held her spare out to Sam who took it without hesitation. "Well no time like the present. How have you been keeping?"

…

"I was almost free," Ellen cried her tears running down her cheeks. She was dressed in a pair of scrubs seeing as her clothes had been ruined by her own blood. The side of her head had been shaved for the bullet wound to be closed properly though it didn't seem to bother her. She held the picture of her and Jo in her hand. "I was almost with her and you had to take that away from me. Is it not enough that I had to lose her because of you and now you take her away from me a second time," she growled. "You might not have killed her but she was caught up in your war with your brother." Her tears fell into the picture blurring the image of Jo. "All I wanted was to be with her again. She was all I had."

Dean sunk down into the chair beside her bed, he rubbed a weary hand over his mouth feeling the three days' worth of stubble on his chin. He remained silent not sure what he could say to her to make her feel better. He knew that she was right, it was all because of him. People kept getting hurt because of him. "I'm sorry," he whispered his eyes reverting to the floor. He could feel his emotions bubbling up inside of him threatening to spill out if he wasn't careful. "I didn't want someone else to die because of me. I didn't want any of this to happen."

"No one ever does. I was willing to die so you could clear your name but you couldn't even give me the dignity of that sacrifice. Now you will be seen as the hero, is that what you need? Do you ever not need to play the hero?"

"It wasn't like that."

"No," Ellen scoffed. "Of course it weren't, so now I am a monster."

"You're not."

"You weren't a hunter, I killed creatures like me…my husband was killed by a wolf and now I am no better than them. You made me into something I want to hunt. I don't know if I can forgive you for this," Dean could hear her tears increasing.

"Don't worry I hate myself just as much," he mumbled pushing himself to his feet. "I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry," he said again the chair falling to the floor behind him. "I know there is nothing I can do to make up for this, there is always a space here for you," he added as he turned away from the room. He allowed the door to slam closed behind him ignoring Dr Novak as he shouted his name.

He sprinted out of the medical bay not knowing where it was he was going to go. He pushed past the were's that got in the way, he ignored the various people calling his name. His legs carried him out of the manor and down the dirt path that would take him to his own house…his and Sam's…not that Sam had said a word to him since he had decided to turn Ellen. He ran until he was standing by the wolf mural, grass had grown over the rocks making it seem more disfigured. He growled as he kicked at the mosaic, pulling it apart until it wasn't recognisable. There was no way he wanted to see that, the wolf that always got into trouble and fucked everyone's life up. He howled as he shed his jacket his emotions spilling out of him in a spiral. He sank to the ground, above him the heavens opened and the rain poured down on him but he couldn't care less. He felt tired. He felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and he was slowly being smothered and he wasn't sure what he could do to stop himself from drowning. He placed his head in his arms and allowed himself a moment to feel. A moment to be human.

How was he meant to be this Alpha everyone expected him to be? He couldn't even protect his family let alone the whole pack. He had done nothing but bring them pain and anguish. He was a failure as a wolf, as an Alpha and as a mate. The rain continued to pour down on him, he heard the sound of footsteps running towards him though it never registered to him. He felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders as his jacket was placed over his head. He felt someone pull him to his feet and lead him towards his house however they never spoke a word. He was taken up to his bed and was made to lay down. He felt them pull at his wet clothes but he didn't make an effort to move, it was like his body had become unresponsive.

"It's ok Dean," he heard the voice whisper to him with gentle lips kissing the side of his forehead. "It's ok you don't need to be strong," it added bringing his soaked hair into the person's apparently naked chest, huh when did that happen? "I'm here for you, I'm always here for you, you're home and we are ok." The person continued to keep rambling. His words were jumbled that Dean couldn't make out what he was saying though he could feel the love and warmth flood through his system. He closed his eyes feeling secure, feeling like he didn't want to keep pretending for the moment. "I love you my Alpha," the voice said on a loop like he loved saying those five words. He stroked Dean's soaked hair flattening it against his head. Dean snuggled into the man's chest before he knew it he had fallen asleep.

…

Sam continued to hold his Alpha long after he had given into his exhaustion. It was no surprise the man had been running on pure adrenaline alone. The events of the past couple of months was enough to knock even the strongest of people on their ass. He stroked Dean's hair which had grown a lot longer than what he usually wore it. He allowed himself to have this moment to pretend that he was the Alpha for once. He now understood what Mary meant about being their strength, there was so much pressure on Alpha's to be this dominate creature of strength and power it was no surprise that they faltered from time to time. So for now he would be the support.

No doubt when the morning came this whole episode would be forgotten but for now Sam allowed Dean to have this. He was content to just hold the man he loved.

TBC (That chapter was hard to write for some reason, hope it was alright, no one can be strong all the time. Anyways thanks for reading and reviewing, see you all in Chapter Twenty Five.)