In the end, I'm going to take everything good about Erza Scarlet and I'm going to tarnish it. No—better than that—I'm going to make it so she begs me to ruin her. I'm going to be the air in her lungs. I'm going to be the soil under her feet. I'm going to be the knife in her heart. I'm going to be the drugs in her veins. I will be the thorny vine that wraps around her throat and pulls tight. It will hurt us both, but the pain will be bittersweet, a soft and lilting pressure that slowly builds until the thorn breaks the skin and the blood wells and spills over.

It's hard to remember to go slow. She's shy and untrusting, a deer wary of the spear aimed at her heart. But I would never let it find home. That would be quick and easy. I want her to know pain, I want...

I want...

I want to love her until she loves me. I want to love her until I can't think. I want her to love me until she can't stand herself, I want her to love me until she doesn't trust herself; but that won't make her stop. No. That will be the force to drive her onwards. She's going to kiss me and it's going to break her apart. She's going to kiss me and it'll sew us together.

On his way out, Jellal snagged two champagne glasses from a waitress hanging around the balcony doors. He tipped one into his mouth and drank almost half, then pushed open the door with his hip and came out into the cold air.

Finding Erza was easy. Even in a crowd of beautiful women poured into flattering dresses, she stood a grade above the rest. It was her curving waist, it was her violently red hair, it was her smooth skin kissed by goose bumps. It was the way she leaned against the balustrade, her hip propped out, her forearms resting on the snow-encrusted railing. It was just… her. Her breath puffed out of her lips in bloated clouds that were quickly grabbed up and ripped away by the wind. A few strands of spider-silk hair tickled her chin, caressing her skin like a lover. Like Jellal longed to do.

By no means was she the only one braving the cold night—the balcony was filled with partygoers that smoked cigars and cigarettes stuffed into opera length cigarette holders, but she was the only one without a coat. The night air was biting, but she didn't shiver, she was too lost in her thoughts to pay attention to anything so human.

Though he knew it would make her uncomfortable, Jellal came up beside her and leaned his own forearms against the railing, so close that their shoulders kissed together. He expected Erza to jump. Had hoped...

She only stiffened and snagged her lip between her teeth.

As calmly as he could, Jellal sipped on his champagne and offered her the other glass. Erza didn't take it, so he set it down next to his elbow and took another deep swig. When he swallowed, he put that glass down too and drummed up the words to ask, "Aren't you cold out here?"

Instead of answering, Erza asked, "Do you miss him too?"

Jellal's stomach flopped. "Him?" he asked even though he knew perfectly well who she spoke of.

Erza entertained him. "Jellal." Thankfully, she kept facing forward so she didn't see the way he closed his eyes and savored his name falling from her lips. Now, if only she would face him, if only her hands were in his hair, if only she'd whisper his name between frantic kisses and pinching bites. That would be heaven and hell.

"Siegrain?" She turned her head just slightly so she could look at him from dark-rimmed eyes. There was a thin line of eyeliner that had smeared just under her lashes. Jellal wondered if a stray tear caused it.

"I suppose."

She looked relieved to hear that. Had so many years missing him made her feel guilty? After all, he was a criminal. He loved that she felt conflicted. He also hated it, too. Erza asked, "What do you miss most about him?"

Jellal didn't have to fake being off-balance. He didn't expect the wash of sympathy and heartache that followed her question, or the abrupt truth that tumbled out of his mouth without his permission. "The boy he used to be." The way we used to be. He didn't dare say the last, though he longed to.

Erza wrapped her arms around her chest and turned to face him properly.

Jellal wanted to push her hair back from her face. Instead, he did something perhaps even more intimate. Using his thumb, he swiped under her eye, wicking away moisture. Erza looked like she wanted to jerk away from him, but she also like she wanted to lean in to his touch. She did neither.

In a whisper, Erza said, "I shouldn't be here."

"Are you going to leave me here by myself?" Jellal almost wished she would. It was hard to remember to be angry when she looked at him so pleadingly, and he badly wanted to be angry in that moment—it was easier to deal with than the tumult of emotions all fighting for front row.

Erza gnawed on her lip. "I only came because Master wanted me to network for Fairy Tail."

Jellal saw through her lie. "That's the only reason?"

Erza had been gripping her dress so tightly, Jellal feared for the delicate fabric. She seemed to realize, too, and traded holding that for holding her arms. "I—I was curious."

Mercilessly, Jellal asked, "About me or about my brother?" He felt like he was pulling nails from her skin, nice and slow. Her face pinched with a sweet, satisfying pain.

Erza's cough drop-coloured tongue slid over her lips. She turned her gaze outward as she said, "Can't it be both?" and Jellal's stomach flopped again.

"What were you to each other?" He couldn't make himself shut up.

She stayed looking at the horizon as she said, "We were kids."

From inside the building, the Chairman took the stage again and called everyone in. Erza didn't seem to hear or notice the exodus moving from the balcony and Jellal didn't tell her. "That doesn't answer my question."

Erza said, "I don't know."

"You don't know, or you won't tell?" He smiled, having fun despite his nervousness.

She scowled at him. "It's private."

Jellal had little respect for her discomfort. "Did you love him?"

She finally looked away from the skyline and searched his eyes. Though her tongue wouldn't seem to move around yes, Jellal saw it in her eyes and memorized it. He wanted to grin ear-to-ear. He wanted to grab her and kiss her. He wanted to scream and demand to know why, if she loved him so fucking much, did she leave. Instead of touching her, he made himself shove his hand through his hair, then schooled his features out of viciousness. "Did he love you, do you suppose?"

"He only loved his tower."

It was like she'd punched him hard in the gut. He opened his mouth to tell her that wasn't true—but maybe it was. Zeref took up every single thought that Erza herself didn't steal. He did love his tower. And soon, she would be a part of it; it seemed fitting. Everything he'd ever loved in the world, all in one place. It would have been nice if things played out differently though. Musing was always fun, and pretend was a game he played well. Thinking that gave him the courage to say, "Then he was a fool."

"Do you think?"

Jellal plucked at the sleeve of his jacket while he formulated an answer and as he did so, he felt Erza's eyes and knew she was drawing parallels. That—pulling at his clothes—was a tick that had followed him from childhood. He tucked his hands in his pockets to keep his cover and to keep himself from tearing the threads out of his suit. "Yes, I do think that." With a pounding heart, he added, "If I had you, I wouldn't ever let you go, Erza." Not again. Not until it was time for Zeref to come back, and then, he wouldn't be letting her go for long.

Erza's face blanked. Then got closed off as soon as her shock wore off. A scowl kissed her red as roses mouth. "Do you think this is funny?"

She was so venomous, but it was a honeyed sting. Jellal relished it. "Does it look like I'm laughing?"

"If you're not enjoying this, then why—"

"I told you, the truth always suited me well," he replied steadily. The only thing that belied his calm was the roughness in his voice, but Erza didn't know him well enough anymore to see through his tells. "And what is more truthful than my first impression of the mage, Erza Scarlet? The fiery woman that took my breath away?"

She looked like she wanted to pummel him. And also like she wanted him to keep going, to make up for all the years of praise he missed while they'd been apart. Jellal thought he could oblige if only to revisit that expression she wore. He allowed himself to take his hand out of his pocket so he could grab up his glass off the railing and take a long, nerve-calming sip. Setting it down again, he admitted, "When I saw you outside the Magic Council building that first time, Erza… I couldn't look away. You were the most captivating thing I'd ever seen."

And that seemed to be far enough. "Master Siegrain—"

Jellal's smile was razor sharp. He always liked the sound of Master, and hearing it come from Erza was one of the most beautiful things he could ever imagine. "I thought I just had to know you."

"Please—"

He ignored her. "You were so stunning, and violent. I thought you were going to cut me open right there."

"I didn't mean to. I was…" She trailed off.

The wind kicked up and grabbed a lock of her hair from its braid. This time, Jellal did what he wanted and dared to tuck it behind her ear. Even though it looked like she was going to run him though, he left his hand against her cheek. "Don't apologize. You were so fierce; you were beautiful." Her cheek was soft, Jellal thought he could just touch her forever, learn every single part of her in a way he never could before. "I need to confess; I didn't really invite you here tonight so I could brag—"

Her eyes were wide as medallions. "Stop talking."

He didn't; there was no command to her voice. She didn't want him to stop, not really, despite what her mouth said. "I wanted you here because I couldn't imagine letting you just disappear again." Jellal licked his suddenly dry lips. "I want to kiss you, Erza."

Erza looked like her knees were going to give out. Maybe they would have, but Jellal had somehow pressed her back against the balustrade; there was no space between them. "Kiss me?"

"Is that alright?" His lips were so close; Jellal could feel them just gently brushing hers. "Erza?"

Erza gripped the lapels of his jacket; Jellal didn't think she even realized it. "We just met—"

Though he hadn't really touched her yet, Jellal's mouth burned. His fingers on her hips were too tight. Through the fabric of her dress, he could feel the way she shivered. Cold or nervous?

Nervous and cold.

You can take what you want. It would be so easy. And maybe she'd be his…

On the surface.

Kissing her now certainly wouldn't garner her trust, though. No—Erza was a flower that had to be encouraged to bloom all on her own. The only true satisfaction he would have would be when she begged. When she shook and wanted it so badly—wanted him so badly—that she took it for herself.

Biting his cheek hard and sucking in a deep breath, Jellal made himself lean away. Erza looked both sad and so relieved, it seemed she might cry. Her hands still clutched his jacket. For a moment, Jellal imagined she'd say to hell with it all and pull him back in. Wouldn't that be a treat? The indomitable Erza Scarlet, reduced to mindless savagery so quickly. He liked the idea of her needing him so badly she couldn't help herself. Soon. Soon. Soon.

I want it now.

With a lot of effort, he reached up and grabbed her wrists. Erza seemed to realize that she needed to let him go. Her fingers were stiff when she released him.

"I don't—I'm not usually so forward." He squeezed her wrists tight and said with conviction, "Next time we're like this, it will be because you ask me to be."

Erza's only response was, "I want to go home."

Jellal released her. She looked hectic and erratic, like she was apt to do something drastic if he said anything other than what she wanted to hear. "Of course. The carriage is still out front waiting—"

He didn't get to finish his sentence; Erza pulled away from him and broke for the balcony doors. Jellal watched her go, debating whether or not to follow. In the end, he remained where he was.

A moment later, the doors opened again and Ultear slipped out. She'd left her coat behind, so her skin was brushed by moonlight. "Is that your date I just saw racing away?"

"It was," he agreed.

She smiled widely and stepped closer so she could grab his suit jacket and straighten it. "Did you do what you wanted?"

"Partially…"

"You're mean, has anyone ever told you that before?" Her hands slid up his chest and under his jacket so she could squeeze his shoulders.

"You shouldn't be doing this here."

Ultear's smile was as prickly as thorns. "You look like maybe you need some release."

Ultear was a pale substitute for Erza Scarlet. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Erza's fiery red hair dip into the waiting carriage. A second later, his twin Clydesdales clopped out into the night, dragging her away from him.

Ultear let her hands slide back down his chest so she could grasp between his legs. He caught her wrist and held her tight, but didn't push her away. "Do you think I can break her?"

"I think she's already falling apart." Her thumb worked over him slowly.

Hearing that was bittersweet. A look inside the Council building told him that Crawford was still talking. With a grunt, he grabbed Ultear by the shoulders and pushed her back against the brick wall, so they were mostly in the shadows. There, he did to her what he imagined doing to Erza. It wasn't the same, not even close, but by the end of it, maybe he was a little less frustrated.