I'll admit that it is rare that I take time to reflect on the past, and whenever I do, I feel the odd emotion of regret over who I could have been, where I could be right now, had things been different. Over the years, doors have closed behind me, and I always have looked longingly to go back but only reluctantly turned away, to move toward the opened door. The rare times I reflected on the past, I would imagine what had happened and how I would have changed it, had I had the power. 'If only'…were the saddest two words in the world.

Eight days plus six, makes for fourteen days, two weeks. I had been with the Joker for two weeks, and for six days, he's kept me busy, learning my way around Gotham City, stalking the other criminal masterminds but never making a close contact like with the Penguin. The Joker – as creative as he is – tested every little thing I was capable of doing; timing me picking a lock, checking my aim, testing my hand-to-hand combat skills…that latter was interesting, since no matter what I did, the Joker always won.

He kept me so busy that I hardly had time to think. I discovered that the Joker, when working on something, won't stop until he's done with it, though because I have passed out from exhaustion a number of times in the first three days, he was forced to stop, something he made clear to me that he did not like.

It's like trying to break the habit of smoking. It's the worst the first three days, but after that, it's a bit easier. Same thing with me and the Joker's unlimited rush of adrenaline. Sometimes, I wondered if I had found a way to tune into his energy to keep me going when he was only beginning.

He asked Raven for at least a week to instruct me, but he finished with me a day early, not like he was going to tell Raven that he was done early. The Joker could be rather selfish on occasion.

The Joker shifted beside me in the bed, and his arm fell over my waist. He had only started doing this four nights ago, moving closer to me in his sleep, and even though I pushed him away in the beginning, I had given up, figuring he was going to do it anyway, and there wasn't anything else I could do.

I simply adjusted the position of my arm, where it was falling asleep and going numb before I let my mind wander again, thinking of the past, reflecting…regretting.

"You should, ah, be sleeping, Shadow," the Joker murmured behind my head. "Rather than thinking so, ah, so loud-ly."

I knew the Joker was awake. He never talked in his sleep, only giggled every once in awhile, depending on what he was dreaming about. The first time I had heard him giggling, it had entered my dream, and I woke up, fully believing that he was about to kill me for the fun of it.

"What else am I supposed to do?" I asked, quietly. "I can't sleep."

"Too much sun getting through the, ah, the blinds?"

"No…I just can't stop…thinking."

I felt the Joker's other arm slip underneath my body, coming around and meeting his draped arm, pulling me into him. He moved his body, bringing his head up, resting it on mine. "I'm all ears, if, ah, if you want to talk about anything," he told me.

I felt reluctant to share my thoughts with the Joker, but I've had to do this a few times in my life or I'd lie awake all night. Even just talking out loud helped, there didn't have to be someone listening. But I have tried talking to myself about my regrets, and I'd always lie awake afterward, so it guess it wouldn't kill me to tell the Joker and see if he would talk back.

"It's rare, but I sometimes remember the past, of the things I did, and I regret it," I said, meekly.

"To regret something is to, ah, to hang yourself with your own noose," the Joker said. "Mental suicide."

"Sounds like a quote."

"It-ah is."

I sighed. "You might be the wrong guy to ask this, but have you ever regretted anything in your life, regretted something you did or something you didn't do?" I asked quietly.

"Why would you think that-ah I'd be the wrong guy?"

"I've learned in the past two weeks that you're not a guy of yesterday or tomorrow. You're all about today. You don't worry about what has happened or what will happen. In other words, I doubt you have regrets."

"Sha-dow…every-one has re-grets." The Joker rolled away from me onto his back, leaving only his arm underneath me. "Even a guy like me."

I rolled onto my back, moving over his arm, and shifted so that I lied on my side, facing him. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not-ah." He turned his head to look at me, sliding his tongue slowly over his scarred lips. "You thought-ah I'd be one of those people who claim they don't-ah have regrets because they've lived their lives the way they had planned. I didn't-ah plan to have my mouth ripped open!" The sharpness in his angry voice scared me, and I cowered slightly.

Then, the Joker rested his head back, staring at the ceiling, seemingly calm.

"Do you hate having the scars?" I asked, quietly.

"I thought I did, when I was young-er." The Joker lifted a hand and touched one of his rough scars. "But-ah…it's obvious now that I don't-ah mind having them. They complete my image." He fell silent for a few minutes, to the point that I thought he had fallen asleep again. Then, he turned his head back to me before rolling to his side and raising a hand to my face, brushing my hair behind my ear. "No, my biggest regret-ah…is having left my…" He trailed off, a look of uncertainty crossing his face.

The strange gleam in his eyes showed some emotion, flashing hesitantly. I had seen it a number of times, but as always, it puzzled me. For the second or two that I saw it, it gave me the impression that the Joker was concealing something from me, hiding something he wanted to reveal, but couldn't bring himself to expose it. And since only I seemed to be able to make that gleam come forth, it had to be something he wanted to tell me, but was too anxious to.

Like before, the glint disappeared, and the Joker slipped out of bed, moving over to the bathroom. "You thirsty?" he asked over his shoulder as he flicked on the light.

I blinked against the light before covering my eyes with my hand. "Yeah," I said before sighing. Something was bothering me about how the Joker sometimes seemed…normal. I had to admit that we had formed a relatively natural relationship in the two weeks we had been one another's company, despite me trying to escape from him once or twice. We knew each other's background stories. I guess it would seem normal for someone to start revealing more about themselves with others that they have gotten used to be around.

Why does the Joker have to be an expectation?

"You know what-ah I've noticed," the Joker said, returning with a glass of water which he set on the nightstand. "You seem to have confidence issues."

The shift in conversation startled me a bit before I caught on. "What makes you say that?" I asked.

He chewed on his cheek, his eyes moving around as he thought of how to put it. When he didn't respond within the usual two seconds, I grew worried.

"Do you want me to be confident at all times?" I asked, to prompt him into coming up with an answer.

"Well, no…maybe it's mood-swings that-ah you have a prob-lem with." He refused to make eye-contract, his eyes to busy darting about the room.

That irritated me, that he didn't want to face me. "Do you have a problem with my mood-swings?" I demanded.

The Joker gave me a plain look, and I shut my mouth, becoming solemn. "That's what-ah I mean!" he exclaimed. "It's like…" He waved his hands around, trying to think of the word. "Like you don't have a solid form."

"Solid? As in my shadow form and my flesh and blood form?"

"No!" he growled, lunging forward and dragging me off the bed. I managed to get my feet on the ground, slipping out of his grasp and stepping away from him. He sauntered over to me, pushing me against the wall. "I just don't-ah get how you could've sur-vi-ved with the Mob for as many years as you have," he snarled. One after the other, he smashed his palms into the wall on either side of my head, each hit creating a sound loud enough to make me flinch. "It's like you are two sides of, ah, of the same coin!"

With the Joker yelling at me, I winced, cowering against the wall, wishing desperately that I could slip into my shadow state and move backward through the wall to escape.

The Joker blinked, and his quick breathing calmed. "Just like Harvey," he whispered, his eyes wide, his gaze over my head.

"Harvey?" I asked, delicately. I didn't want the Joker to start yelling at me again, but my curiosity had to be satisfied.

"The District Attorney, a year ago," the Joker explained, still making the same expression at the wall. "He had this thing about-ah being called on. Had to flip a coin for every…decision." The Joker suddenly grabbed me by my jacket, and he lifted me from the ground, still pressing me against the wall, lifting me until we were eye level.

His eyes hardened as they met mine, and I squirmed, afraid that he was going to hurt me. "Stop struggling, Shadow!" he barked, and I obeyed. "You gamble with two personalities, Shadow. One I'm guessing is, ah, is from the past, while the other is what-ah your father created."

I narrowed my eyes at him, and his expression lightened up, a grin appearing on his face. "Bringing up your dad makes you angry?"

"Are you testing me?" I asked, coldly. "What's your problem with my duel personalities? They're not personalities; they're called moods, emotions. Even you have them."

"I've got-ah a quick temper now and then," the Joker said casually, shrugging it off. "Who irritates you the most-ah?"

"You," I replied, harshly.

"Be-sides me, Shadow." I continued to glare at him, and he matched my gaze, a smile creeping onto his face. He pushed himself off the wall and went over to grab the glass of water. "I think I have a guess," he said, handing me the water.

Without thinking, I took it and brought it up, but the Joker caught my wrist. "You've al-ready smashed glass on my head, Shadow. Try something new for once!" He tightened his grip on my wrist and then slammed the glass down on my own head.

The pain was enough to make my knees buckle under my weight. I slid down along the wall, just as the Joker grabbed my chin, shoving something into my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but he covered my mouth, plugging my nose too. I choked, unable to breath or to get rid of whatever the Joker had given me. I didn't want it.

"Swallow it, Shadow," he growled, ignoring my flailing hands as I struck him many times. He pushed me down onto the ground and straddled me, still covering my mouth and nose. I suffocated, trying to breath but trying to avoid swallowing the small object on my tongue.

My lungs burned, and I was on the verge of crying, realizing that the Joker was going to suffocate me to death unless I did what he wanted. I dropped my arms, losing the strength to hit him, and I simply turned a pleading gaze on him. He saw it, and for a split second, his eyes softened.

The Joker hardened himself against my pleading, and he told me once more, "Swallow it or die, Shadow!"

Seeing that my situation was not good either way, but wishing greatly to live, I swallowed the object dry, nearly choking on it before it went down.

The Joker released me, and I coughed before gulping in air. My throat burned with the oxygen, and I didn't move, concentrating on breathing and getting oxygen to my starved blood cells. I was vaguely aware of the Joker leaving my side and returning a few moments later, helping me sit up, leaning me against the wall.

Cold glass touched my lips, and I jerked my head away. The Joker gripped my chin firmly and turned me back, tilting the glass and letting water slip into my dry mouth. I swallowed it, gasping afterward.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. I felt drowsiness, and even as my body began shutting down, I opened my eyes and tried glaring at the Joker.

"Don't-ah take it personally, Shadow," the Joker said, his voice sounding echoic and soothing, despite the amusement. "But-ah it's more fun this way." He ended with a giggle as I drifted off into a drugged sleep.

When I awoke, I was tied to a metal pole in a dark room, sitting on a cold cement floor. I felt groggy; feeling the sleepiness from the drug the Joker had given me. His last words echoed in my mind, and I stiffened, my mind coming up with the worst situation. Had he taken advantage of me?

Then, I heard the ping of a P.A. and then the Joker's voice rung out. "Rise and shine, Sha-dow."

"If you happened to touch me," I spat.

"No-no-no-no-no! I'm not-ah that kinda guy, Shadow, no worries."

"Just because of what you said before I fell unconscious, I don't believe you."

"I didn't-ah think you'd take that the wrong way." The Joker sighed. "I promise, I never touched you. I'm a man of my word."

I growled, reluctantly letting it go…for now. "Fine, where am I?"

"Good question. You're in a factory, rigged to, ah, to blow in ten minutes. Mind you, it's filled with all sorts of chemicals so it's only a mat-ter of lighting up. I'm looking forward to, ah, to the fireworks."

"You would," I murmured. "Why am I the victim?"

"Oh no, the vic-tim is somewhere else in the place. You'll have to, ah, to find him."

"So how come I'm tied up?" I demanded.

"That's to ensure that-ah you aren't going anywhere until I've told you the rules. Think of this as a game, Shadow. You're the hero, the victim is the villain. Kill the villain, you get-ah the key to get-ah out. Of course, you have to, ah, to remember you only have ten minutes, tech-nically nine now. Be creative, Shadow. I'll be watch-ing." With a ping, the P.A. cut off.

I cursed angrily under my breath as I switched on my shadow vision, finding the dagger Raven had given me at my hip through the purple haze. How did my being unable to sleep lead to my being tied up in a building rigged to blow? With the chemicals in this place, I could just imagine all the colors that the explosion will create. The Joker would be jumping up and down like a kid, clapping his hands in excitement while laughing hysterically.

I freed myself from my bounds and stood slowly, my muscles still half-drugged. I looked around, searching for a door, and when I located it, I headed over slowly, giving my body time to wake up.

I left the dark room, appearing in a large room filled with tanks, pipes, and puffs of smoke here and there. It was definitely a factory, and I have to admit that it scared me. It was scary to know that if you lit a small flame, the entire place might blow. From the outside, it would look cool, but from the inside, it was just frightening.

I wandered a bit, ducking under pipes and moving through the smoke, or steam, whatever it was, fog for all I knew. Over my head was a series of metal walkways, and I looked for a staircase up, thinking that height might be able to give me a better view of where the exit might be. I had less than nine minutes at this point, and even though that was better than something else than five, I felt my heart pounding rapidly in my chest.

I found a metal staircase and made my way up, looking around at the series of machines that dealt with the chemicals this place was loaded with. I jumped out of fright when I heard the ping of the P.A. again, and I heard the Joker chuckle, amused.

"Sounds don't-ah set off explosions, Shadow," he teased me, and I growled. "I can tell that-ah you're looking for an exit. You're not-ah going to find one until you've dealt with the vic-tim."

"And you expect me to find the victim and escape in eight minutes?" I demanded. "Finding the victim in a large place like this would take time and careful searching."

"Well…you don't-ah have time to search care-fully so…tell you what. If you follow the walk you're on, you'll come by a phone. Call the police and play the victim, since the victim doesn't-ah know that's what he is. In return, I'll reset-ah the bomb and give you some extra min-utes."

"Oh, you're so kind," I said, sarcastically.

"Aren't-ah I?" the Joker asked, amused before he cut off the P.A.

The offer of extra minutes was tempting. I followed along the walkway and found the phone that the Joker had mentioned. Picking it up, I dialed 911 and waited.

A woman picked up on the other end. "911. What's your emergency?" She sounded so calm and professional that I was tempted to laugh.

"Um, I'm in some factory that seems to be filled with chemicals, and I can't get out."

"Do you know what the name of the factory is?" the woman asked.

I heard a sharp beep in my ear, and I heard the Joker's voice speaking. "The woman's at Ace Chemicals Factory and it's rigged to, ah, to blow within thirteen minutes. Might-ah want to send a few squad cars before the place goes." The Joker laughed menacingly, and then the line cut out.

"What's up with you and laughing right before you hang up?" I demanded, angrily as I slammed the phone down on the receiver. The ping came again, and the Joker laughed.

"You real-ly need to, ah, to loosen up, Shadow," he said.

"I can't!" I snapped. "I'm gonna die if I don't get out of here." I hurried along the walkway, looking down below, searching for the "victim". "Why'd you choose a place that had a playing card for a name?" I asked loudly.

"Just-ah so they know it's me," the Joker explained before cutting off.

I ran along the metal walkway, searching hard for any movement besides me, and I wasn't aware of the metal rod sticking out behind a supporting pillar of the ceiling. I ran straight into it, hitting my head and falling backwards onto my back. "Ow," was all I could say as I touched my throbbing head with a hand.

I grabbed onto the railing to steady myself as I stood up. Through the beginnings of a headache, I heard a heavy footstep on the metal walkway behind me, and I spun around.

A heavy-set man with a clown mask stood behind me, holding a metal rod like he was about to swing it. I ducked as he swung it, and I had to repeat the duck as the man changed direction, aiming for my head like it was a baseball.

I came up with my palm open, smacking under his jaw and jerking his head up and back. I followed with a quick punch in the stomach. He grunted in pain as he fell backwards, grabbing the railing for support. I took a moment to get a mental picture of him before turning and running.

I recognized the figure and replaced the clown mask with the face of the man I knew. It was Bob, the one the Joker had to have guessed irritated me the most, besides himself.

How right, the Joker was.

I heard a gunshot and felt a bite grazing my shoulder. I ducked behind a supporting pillar, reaching for my gun, only to find that I didn't have one. Gripping my hurting shoulder, and cursing under my breath, I retrieved my dagger, wishing I had a gun. Bob was armed with a rod and a gun while I only had myself and the dagger Raven had given me. The guy even had the advantage of strength over me. Who was going to survive?

I flinched as Bob shot at the pillar, as if hoping the bullet would go through the metal and hit me behind it. Note to self: If you survive, remember to inflict as much pain on the Joker as you have suffered trying to keep alive.

"C'mon, Shadow," Bob called, taunting me by mocking my name. "The boss doesn't like cowards."

"Good," I called back. "Maybe that's why he ordered me to take you out."

"Funny, he told me something similar." Bob shot three times in rapid succession, making me flinch each time.

"Maybe you should save the bullets," I told him.

"That's a good idea. Thank-you, Shadow."

I clenched my teeth angrily while I searched for another hiding spot. Being up on the walkways was awful; only the pillars provided some protection. I looked down below, but I didn't want to be down there if Bob was shooting at me. He'd hit a tank of chemicals, and I could be bleached different colors. Oh, wouldn't that be perfect if my skin turned white, and my hair turned green. Ha-ha, then I'd really be the Joker's partner-in-crime, being identical to him!

"Peek-a-boo!" Bob said right by me, and I threw myself forward, narrowly avoiding death as Bob shot where I had been resting. I rolled to my feet and ran for it, only to vault over the railing and fall down to the floor below as Bob shot several times after me. He got me again in the leg, and I tripped, sliding underneath a series of pipes, disappearing from his view.

My heart pounded furiously in my chest as I watched him through a slit between two small pipes. I checked my shoulder, seeing that it only hurt and wasn't bleeding too much, but my leg bled and needed my attention.

I was wearing the outfit that the Joker had created for me. The material was leather, not cloth, so I could be in trouble with the bleeding. I searched my pockets, but found nothing that I could use. Looking behind me, I saw the door to the locker room. Wow, just my luck.

Double-checking to make sure that Bob was out of view, I clenched my teeth and gasped against the pain before making a break for the locker room. I came back out after tying a ripped uniform around my leg, hoping that there were no chemicals on it that might get into my bloodstream and cause problems. I was even fortunate enough to discover a hidden gun in the locker of the person I stole the bandage from, one that only had six shots. There was my misfortune.

I moved along the pipes, keeping my eyes sharp for movement. Using my shadow sight, and tweaking it a bit, I could see shadows, like infrared vision where you could see body heat. With the place being dark, it was hard to distinguish the shadows. I needed to find a light, but did I have time?

I glanced at my watch and realized that it was set to show how much time I had left before the bomb exploded. Seven and a half minutes. I groaned inwardly, and then I smirked. The Joker had said that I wasn't allowed to shadow away; he didn't say that I couldn't shadow around the place as long as I remained inside.

I hadn't been to Ace Chemical Factory before, but I had been up on the walkways. I shadowed up there to search the walls for a door where there might be a light switch. I placed my back against a supporting pillar to make sure I had some cover while I looked, and it wasn't hard for me to locate the light switch.

I shadowed to it and flicked it on, tweaking my shadow sight again. There were still many shadows, but it wasn't hard to distinguish the pipes and machines and vaults from the human shaped shadow that moved.

I shadowed behind Bob with a good three feet between us so that he didn't sense my presence right away. "Looking for me?" I asked, grinning.

I underestimated the guy's speed. Bob spun, swinging the rod, and even though I ducked, he still clipped me on the side of the head. The force was hard enough to knock me off balance, and before I knew it, Bob was on me, beating me with the rod several times.

I cried out in pain as I dropped to the ground. The hits were hard and painful, and I raised my arms over my head to protect it from severe damage. He hit me everywhere he could reach, even going as far as to dig an end of the rod into my stomach where I choked and screamed in agony. It went on for what seemed like forever for me.

Bob laughed as he stepped back, examining his work. "I never liked you, Shadow," he said as I gasped against the pain, having trouble breathing. "But I'm not a guy to kill women. Besides, the boss has this place set up to blow. He would love to have the pleasure in killing you. Now, you won't make it out in that condition."

I glared at him and growled. "Don't underestimate me," I told him. "But why am I telling you that since this will be your last time?"

Bob laughed and kicked me in the chest, knocking the wind out of me. "Enough of you, be quiet and wait for the fireworks." He chuckled and abandoned me, walking away and swinging his rod cheerily.

Somehow, I found the strength to stand, groaning as my body protested. I was going to be covered in bruises and might die of internal bleeding, but there was one thing I wanted to do, if I was to die here.

"You know, Bobby," I said. Bob turned around, angrily. "You're too stupid for the Joker to keep. Hence why, I'll be relieving the boss of your burden." I smirked as Bob raised his gun. "Too slow," I said, and fired my weapon that raised in my hand on the railing.

The shot ricocheted as the bullet hit Bob, the force throwing him off his feet and backwards, landing hard on his back. I didn't want him coming after me so I fired two more shots before deciding that the man was dead.

I gasped in pain as I leaned heavily against the metal railing, and I glanced at my watch. It was less than a minute, counting down from twenty seconds. A rush of adrenaline pulsed through my veins and I looked around quickly, ignoring my body's agony. I caught sight of a window that was a distance away from the walkway. I calculated as I started running, gasping violently with the pain.

The seconds ticked down as everything seemed to go in slow motion. I had all the time in the world. I ran as hard as I could toward the bend of the walkway, nearing the edge and pushing off hard from my back foot. I jumped up toward the railing and hoped that I didn't miss it.

The seconds ticked off. Ten. Nine. My front foot landed square on the railing, and I pushed off the metal as I swung my other leg forward to give me more momentum. Eight. Seven. I sailed through the air, hoping I had enough momentum to take me out the window. Six. Five. I was starting to fall, yet I still hadn't reached the window. I was going to hit the wall, not the window. Hoping my momentum continued, I shadowed up a foot. Four. Three. My momentum continued and I hit the glass, my force shattering it as I went through. Two. One.

A split second of silence. Shattering glass. The bomb going off.

Then, the factory exploded as I fell clear of the window, falling outside in dark, cold water. Bright lights flashed above the water, and I watched it, amazed, dumbstruck, numbed by the cold water. Without wanting to, I surfaced, gasping for breath, and I witnessed the most beautiful sight of colorful flames that varied from all the colors of the rainbow. The heat washed over my face, but I didn't mind it, fascinated by the vivid sight.

I only just turned my head, and I saw the Joker standing on the land near a place that I could swim to. Like me, he was transfixed by the beautiful flames, but I had a deeper sense that the flames weren't the only thing that made him watch his fireworks.

I began swimming in his direction, figuring he would notice my splashing, but he didn't move. Blue and red flashing lights caused me to stop swimming and only float. I remained where I was as I watched several cops jump out of their squad cars, surrounding the Joker and yelling at him, ordering him to put his hands up.

I was only close enough to hear their yells, but I could see the Joker's mouth moving as he answered them. Was he resisting? Telling them to wait a few more minutes? Was he waiting for me? It didn't matter much because the cops grabbed him, handcuffed his hands behind his back, and shoved him into a squad car. The others remained, but the police car with my boss drove away.

Lordlink13: I don't know about you guys, but that was a pretty intense chapter. I didn't know what the heck I was doing with the beginning though, but I think it was an okay part, so I left that in there, rather than try to think up something else. It's hard enough trying to figure out how to connect various scenes that I have already written out. So before I continue to ramble, please leave a review before you go. It's really nice to know if someone likes the story or not, and also a good thing to know if I'm bringing the Joker OOC, or if the story's getting a little too weird. I like input so if you could give me some, that would be great. Until next time!