Many sins belong to me. Some I regret, some keep me sustained when it seems I've lost my way, but this sin is the most dangerous of all… it's the one that can break me down. Or build me up.

I love Erza Scarlet too much. Enough to lie. Enough to steal her time away.

Enough to want to make this moment last forever.

My only fear is that I will be the man that has everything when I go to Zeref, and still I will feel hollow.

Jellal wished his hands were steadier as he pulled Erza away from the wall and tugged her dress low but his body was a traitor. He'd waited for this for too long. Everything was coming together and Erza.

Erza.

The dress came over the catch of her hips and fell to the ground and her pale skin was only interrupted by scraps of black.

Blood and

Midnight and

Ivory.

Jellal hadn't ever thought himself a stupid man, but he certainly felt that way, looking at the woman he'd only ever dreamed about.

She was able to move when he was paralyzed, her hand cupping him through his pants and massaging. He closed his eyes and was freed from his immobility; he returned her touch, getting between her underwear and her behind and squeezing. Her mouth brushed his ear; her voice was fired coals. "Should we go to the bed?"

He leaned away from her in answer and she took the lead, high heels clunking on the floor. She tried to take them off at the mattresses edge; Jellal stopped her. "Leave them."

"And the drapes? Should I leave them, too?"

They were open to the world. Jellal didn't care. "Yes."

"Someone might see."

He pulled her back so her back was to his chest and grabbed her still covered breasts with both hands. "So?"

"So…"

He kissed her neck; some of her scarlet hair clung to his lips; he didn't bother moving it. "You're so beautiful."

She wriggled out of his grasp and forced him to sit. Her fingers pressed beneath his chin and lifted his face up. She searched his eyes. "I don't think anyone has ever loved me like this."

Like parched soil loves the rain, except it's too dry to accept it. Like the terminal love the idea of death, scared straight, yet still needing it. "They never could."

Was she scared of it like Jellal was? Maybe.

She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra's hooks. The lacy garment slid from her shoulders and her breasts were bare. Medallion-sized nipples hard, slightly up-curved. She dropped the lingerie to the bed and started working on the thong, grabbing the straps and pulling them down slowly. Jellal leaned back on his elbows and watched while he unclasped the buttons of his shirt.

Erza stepped out of the underwear. When she straightened, she gathered her hair over her shoulder, baring herself for him to see. Every movement she made was lithe. Calculated. How could she be so perfect? How could she be here, for him? What did I do to deserve this? It was like Lord Zeref was rewarding him already. He almost dissolved into lunatic laughter. Self-mocking. Terrified. Altogether out of control.

Erza cradled his face and grounded him, her fingers tracing his tattoo from his eye to his cheek. For all the violence he knew her to be capable of, she was gentle. A twang of guilt almost crippled him; how could he just throw her away? Instead of pushing the guilt aside, he welcomed it. She wouldn't suffer alone.

Erza brushed her lips across his mouth while she found the lapel of his open shirt and eased the material from his shoulders. There she stalled to trace the whip scars he'd acquired at the Tower of Heaven. Learning them anew.

"Do they still hurt?"

"Sometimes." Jellal pulled her hands away, turning them up so he could kiss either one of her wrists. "Do yours?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you miss it?"

"The pain?"

"The tower."

Erza pushed him back so he was lying flat on the bed. "Everything I missed is right here."

Jellal grabbed her hand and pulled her on the bed beside him. Her heels rubbed together, clicking gently. When she was situated, he leaned overtop of her and dragged his fingers up the side of her body, starting way down low at her ankles and stopping at the junction between her legs. Erza opened for him. She was wet and warm. While he slowly massaged her, she worked her hands through her hair, eyes heavy-lidded.

"Are you nervous?" Please say yes. He wasn't sure if it was because he longed for control, or if it was because he wouldn't feel so badly about the way his hands shook.

"Not anymore," Erza said in a low voice. Jellal clenched his jaw and determined to change that. Dropping his head to her breast, he flicked his tongue across one rosy peak while he inserted his fingers into her body. Erza gasped and curved into him like he'd done so much more. He tried to commit the sound to memory; he'd take it with him when he died.

Erza unthreaded her fingers from her own hair and tangled them in his. She pulled when he angled his fingers just right. His name dropped from her lips, barely a whisper. Encouraged, Jellal nibbled her breast and moved his fingers faster. Like he hoped, she gasped and swore and sobbed; her grip tightened and so did her body. He released her breast with a wet pop and found her mouth, wanting to taste the moment she orgasmed. Erza was easy; so generous and indulgent. Enthusiastic and impatient.

He found her clit with his thumb while still keeping his fingers inserted and rubbed the swollen area. That was all it took. Erza, cheeks pink, breasts heaving with short, shallow gasps, arched like a bow and cried out, the sound muffled against Jellal's tongue. He drank it back, a parched man in the desert sun, and bit her lip hard enough that it must have really hurt. Aside from a weak gasp, Erza didn't say a word. That was partially why he loved her; no pain ever outweighed her pleasure. He was pleased to see it was a mantra she'd kept up behind closed doors as well.

She took a second for the comedown before wriggling from Jellal's grasp and getting to her knees. Jellal stretched out, ready for her touch. Her fingers shook when she grabbed his pants and started undoing them and he knew she hadn't been entirely truthful—she was at least a little bit nervous. That made him feel better.

Pants undone, Erza flicked her eyes up and met his gaze while she pulled him out and leaned down. She licked him and he exhaled a warbling breath. She took the tip into her mouth and he moaned. She sucked, moving up and down slowly and he tipped his head back and swore. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her for long, he needed to see. Her lips looked redder than ever, her hair ablaze by the overhead lights. For sure if anyone were looking up from the streets they'd see everything. The thought only turned him on more.

Unable to help himself, Jellal grabbed her roughly by the hair and pulled her away. Erza hissed but didn't bat him off. Quite the contrary—she moved to where he wanted her to go, spreading her legs wide and positioning herself over top of him. She was warm and wet rubbing over his body. Lifting his hips a few inches, he just barely penetrated her; Erza did the rest, lowering herself down and totally enveloping him.

"Fuck." Fuck. Fuck. "Fuck." She felt amazing. Better than amazing.

Erza looked at him through thick lashes, a small, sultry smile on her lips, like she knew this was the sweetest kind of torment and she was happy to administer it, and started rocking her hips. She was fucking evil. His hand was around her throat before he could think better of it. The skin there was smooth, the tendon and muscles, her windpipe… they all felt so delicate. All it would take…

He squeezed, but not as hard as he could have. Erza cried out in pleasure, not at all panicked. She trusted him not to hurt her. She'd made so many mistakes since that cold wintery day out front of the Magic Council building, but this was the one that would cost her everything.

Jellal wasn't sure how he felt about that. His fingers loosened. He lifted his hand until he was no longer choking her but half cupping her cheek. Erza turned into his touch and licked the pad of his thumb. Then she took it into her mouth and sucked while she rocked her hips. Jellal's head swam until she released him and he could take his hand away. He traded her mouth for her breasts, first just cupping her loosely and watching them bounce, then, when her breathing turned erratic and he knew she was going to make herself come, he pinched and plucked.

"Gods…" Her whole body shivered. Jellal angled his hips so he was hitting her just right. She moved faster, rising and falling almost erratically, determined to make herself feel good. It was too much.

"Holy fuck—"

Erza bent and kissed him as he came. When he finished, she got off of him but didn't go far, lying down by his side. He put his fingers in her hair and rested his cheek against the top of her head. Her pounding heart was gradually slowing. He listened to it and let his thoughts overload and tangle.

Most of the things that moved through his head were abstract; presenting themselves in colours. Red. That was Erza, always. Inky black… that was Zeref. And blue, for Ultear. Sunset orange for the Tower of Heaven and everything that was in his grasp. All he had to do was take it…

Carefully, he pushed the bangs back from Erza's forehead.

"Hmm… We missed dinner," Erza said.

A long, long time ago. "I know."

Sensing his distraction, Erza lifted her head from his chest and looked up his body. "What are you thinking about?"

Jellal grunted. "Colours."

"Colours?"

"Scarlet. Like blood. Black. Like midnight." The two were so hopelessly intertwined in Jellal's head. Erza and Zeref. He would give anything…

"What does that mean?"

"That I always want to be with you, Erza," Jellal said after a moment. "That…" He tilted his head and peered at her. "That its time to go home."

"Home?"

She looked so sweet. So confused. So innocent. Is that how she'll look, too, when you give her to the Tower of Heaven? Or would she look betrayed? It doesn't matter. She betrayed you. You have to… Even though he loved her. Because he loved her.

You're broken.

So was love.

Feeling more nervous than he ever had before, Jellal pressed his palm against Erza's cheek and memorized her face while it was still free and clear of betrayal. "I love you."

Erza's smile softened. "Jellal… I—"

He didn't want to hear her say it. Gathering the magic was hard; not only was he loose and relaxed, part of him didn't really want to. Part of him thought that they could really do this. The failed dates that ended up in bed, the 'I love you's' that would eventually be untainted by hurt…

Zeref is waiting…

He forced enough magic through Erza's body to render her completely unconscious. Her eyes went wide and shocked.

Then they dulled and saw nothing.