A short drabble:
'I'm procrastinating'
'That's nice dear'
'I'm putting off homework I'm supposed to be doing'
'Oh.'
'…'
Edward stretched out his hands and leant back, looking at Esme.
'You don't mind that I'm procrastinating?'
'No, not really sweetie-pie' she said as she danced around the house, a broom in hand and a feather duster in the other.
'Well, what if I fail?'
Esme stopped wiping the dust from the top of the fridge.
'Oh, you mean if you get a B? That's fine Edward dear; we all know you can do better. So I don't mind if you do fail.' She smiled gently at her baby boy.
'Yup' Edward lounged on the sofa, breathed on his fingernails and brushed them against his shirt.
This was pointless. He couldn't get Esme to yell at him, or even in a bad mood. Even when he could read her mind and did just what he thought would wind her up.
Just as he was thinking this, the front door opened, and Alice stalked in, waves of angst coming off her. Her usually spiky black pixie hair was even droopy.
'Hey Alice. I'm procrastinating' He grinned.
'That's great Edward'
Edward glanced over at Alice.
'Don't even bother little brother…I'm PISSED OFF and I don't need your sarcasm or nosiness weighing me down.' She stalked to her room.
Edward sighed, and lay on the sofa, his arms behind his head.
A moment later, he heard muffled giggling and frowning, he looked at the back door. Rosalie and Emmett were whispering their way in.
'Hey Emmett. I'm procrastinating'
Emmett's booming laughter was heard milliseconds seconds after.
'Hey lil' bro can I pro-cras-ti-nate with you?'
Edward snorted.
'Now why on earth would you want to wait when you're about to have kinky sex with Rose?'
'Exactly that' He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered 'she's planning on getting a feather duster…add that to my butt and you have?'
'Butt sex?'
'NO'
I heard the line 'feather duster' in Two and a half men and I love that show! Alan says something along the lines of 'No, her idea of kinky is a feather duster, ice cream and a hat' or something