Hello again. Before I begin, I just want to say that I love all of you so much because you all are hoping that Quinn has the flu. Aww… you are all as attached to Quinn as I am! Oh and I'm bored and don't have anything else to do with my life at the moment, so I'm making Quinn's doctor a very "interesting" person. Anyways, I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Enjoy!

I do not own Glee or Barbie.

Puck's POV

"Well Quinn, you have a very fun little disease called sepsis; which basically means that the big and suspicious gash on your right arm got infected. Since you have a weakened immune system from just having a baby, the infection spread and traveled through your body via the bloodstream. The definition of sepsis is just that: blood infection. It's one of my favorite ways that the body screws itself over," chirped Quinn's surprisingly enthusiastic doctor.

"Big and suspicious gash?" asked Tina.

"Yes, it is a cut that is rather much humungous and is suspicious because if I were a 'normal doctor,' I would probably inconspicuously leave a few brochures for self-harm seminars in your room," explained the doctor.

"Self-harm seminars? No, I didn't cut myself!" objected Quinn.

"Oh, do calm down, Blondie, your body is already under immense and potentially life-threatening stress. If I were you, I wouldn't add to it. And I said IF I was a normal doctor, which I'm not. But by the way, I find self-harm seminars to be good places to find other lonely singles."

"Are you on drugs?" asked Artie.

"Artie, shut-up! People on marijuana have feelings, too!" chided Tina.

"Yep. Hallucinatory, loopy feelings," he grumbled.

"Hey! I will have you know that my drug use has opened the door to many opportunities that I would have missed if I had loved my father," defended the doctor.

"Hey, what's your name?" I asked.

"Dr. Boland. You're not going to report me, right?"

"No," I lied while trying to get Quinn to keep fidgeting so I could look at her arm.

"Stop it, Puck!" screeched Quinn.

"Let me see your arm and I'll stop," I offered.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Ms. Fabray, as I said earlier, if I were you I wouldn't work yourself up. Anyways, your condition is serious, but your strand of bacteria is one of the easiest to knock out, so you should be fine. You'll have to stay at the hospital for a while so we can give you IVs with antibiotics and fluids, and once your discharged you'll still be a little sick and weak for a while. But after that you'll be OK," said Dr. Boland.

"So, I'm not going to die, right?"

"No. But if you do you'll probably go to hell because one, you had a baby at 16, and two, I bet $100 that you'll live, and I can't afford to lose that kind of money."

"Well that's encouraging!"

"Wait, don't doctors make a lot of money?" asked Artie.

"You see, we do make a lot of money, but some of us have various drug addictions and spending issues that can deplete our wealth."

"Oh, and I'm also guessing that some of you cheated your way through medical school," jibed Tina.

"What is with this generation? So rude to their elders and people that are just trying to help!"

"What is wrong with OUR generation? You're a friggen health care provider and heaven knows how many joints you had this morning!" shouted Quinn.

"Oh Blondie, I thought I told you not to get worked up. It's not good for you. Hey, Mohwak Boy, are you her boyfriend and/or the father of her baby?" asked Dr. Boland.

"I'm both of those things," I said tersely.

"And that makes your sinning situation better? I think not. Anyways, I think it would be beneficial for your little Barbie doll's health if you got her to stop stressing out by getting her a shock collar."

"A shock collar?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, every time she freaks out just give her a dandy little shock."

"Wouldn't the shock be even worse for her body than the stress?" asked Artie.

"And be completely sadistic and inhumane?" added Tina.

"You know, just because you can't see the brilliance in my ideas and appreciate the abstract way I see the world, doesn't mean you have to put me down."

"Can you wear a shock collar, and can I have the remote?" asked Quinn.

"Watch in Blondie, you don't know what the hell I might put in your IV drip."

"You're the most beautiful person and the world and I love you," said Quinn sarcastically.

"That's more like it! Now, I'm going to leave and go bring some sunshine into the world of some old guy named Murray. A nurse should be by soon to start your medication. I would do it, but as previously stated, you don't want to know what I might give you, and I can't afford to get sued. Have fun explaining your depression, Blondie!" chirped Dr. Boland as she skipped out of the room.

"Quinn, let me see your arm, please," I said calmly.

"NO!"

"Shock time, ERR!" cheered Artie.

"That's it, Artie. Clearly you can't handle this situation. Artie and I will be right outside in the waiting area if you need us," said Tina as she pushed Artie out of the room.

"Is that why you've been wearing long sleeved t-shirts lately?" I asked.

"Yes," whispered Quinn.

"Hmm. I thought it was your weird sensitivity about body image or whatever the hell goes through women's minds after they give birth."

"Oh Puck, that's why my long sleeved shirts haven't been tight," she explained.

"Did you cut yourself?"

"NO! For the last time, I did NOT cut myself!"

"Then explain the 'big and suspicious gash' which lead to you winding up in this place with that wack-job of a doctor. Oh, and SHOW me the big and suspicious gash."

"I choose not to explain, but fine. Here, look at it. Are you happy now?"

"Oh my-

"I know it's gross. It's infected."

"No, it's not that! It's BIG! Explain."

"I once again assert my right to remain silent, because anything I say or do will be held against me in the house of your mom."

"Ugh. Quinn, please!"

"No."

"You will tell me, but first, how did you not notice that it was becoming infected?"

"Don't judge me!"

"Quinn-

"I said don't judge me."

"Fine. I won't judge you if you'll kindly explain how you didn't notice your fricking war-wound becoming infected."

"I didn't notice because even when it's not infected, a big cut is gross, so I didn't want to look at it, and so I just thought it was normal for it to hurt a lot."

"And when you started becoming sick?"

"Mercedes was out with the flu last week."

"Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"Please explain."

"Nope. And it really doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Just stop it! It really doesn't matter and it's embarrassing. I'm not going to tell you."

"Dammit, Quinn! I'll be right back!" I growled as I walked out of the room and went up to Artie and Tina, who were sitting down in chairs.

"Wheels, Asian, do you have any ideas on how to get Quinn to tell us how she got that big and suspicious gash?"

"No, Quinn can be a really stubborn person," said Tina.

"Maybe we could annoy it out of her."

Annoy it out of her… that was a great idea!

"Woah, dude, your face just lit up. Did I say something smart? The three of us and that doctor have been annoying her all day and she hasn't broken down yet."

"True. We can all annoy the hell out of her, but I know someone who can single-handedly annoy her until she talks," I said excitedly.

"Who?" asked Tina and Artie at the same time.

"Can one of you step out and call Jesse?"