Fear.
It finds us.
Fear.
It binds us.
Fear.
It makes us take a stand.
Fear.
It controls us.
Fear.
It moulds us.
Fear.
It makes us less than man.
Erza's hands fisted in Jellal's shirt and kept him close. "Jellal. The Etherion… We're both going to die."
He shook his head, looking down into eyes as wide as planets, into cheeks fevered. He sought to comfort her. "I promise this won't be the thing to kill us. Don't be afraid. The tower will take all of the Etherion's magic energy. Once it's harnessed, Ultear and I are going to use it to bring back Lord Zeref." Never mind that Ultear was nowhere to be found. He couldn't think of that. Not now. "That is where your sacrifice will come into play. Like I said… I'll do the honours myself and follow after, that way we can always be together."
"Listen to yourself! This is crazy. It won't work," Erza rebuked. "Even if you could bring back the dead, nothing could ever hold so much energy."
Light fell from the sky, bright, bright white. As soon as Erza saw it, some of the fight fled her and she slumped against Jellal's chest, weak. He held her as he always would. "The Tower of Heaven is a giant lacrima, Erza. Have faith."
She stared not at him but at the burning ball of brightness fast approaching. She asked, "Will you untie me? If I might die, I don't want to do it with my hands bound. I don't—I don't want to be a prisoner anymore."
Jellal didn't question her; he knew what it was to be tired of shackles. He took the knife from his pocket and sliced through her bonds. The ropes fell just as the tower started to hum; he could feel it through his feet, echoing up into his skull. Jellal told her, "If the Etherion does destroy the tower like you think, I'm glad you're with me." Just in case.
The light brightened. "I'm afraid."
Hearing her say that aloud was painful. "I know. I'm sorry." His eyes were burning again.
Erza picked him apart with little effort. "You're scared too."
"Yes. It's better now, though." Mostly.
Erza tried again. "Jellal, it doesn't have to be like—"
"It does," he said sharply. Even if he said it couldn't, it wouldn't make it true, and he was done lying to Erza. He watched her raptly, memorizing her because while he was fairly confident the tower would hold, there were a lot of variables to consider. A lot of things that could go wrong. This could be it. "Did you think you deserved it?"
Erza blinked dark eyes at him. "Deserved what?"
"Your freedom. When you left, did you think you deserved it?"
It took her a moment to respond. "Yes."
"I've never felt that way," he admitted. "Even if I wasn't trapped here… I'd never walk free of the guilt. I've done so much…" The lacrima beneath his feet started to glow.
Erza lifted her hands and cupped his cheeks. "The world probably won't ever forgive your sins, but if we're going to die, then know that I do."
He waited to see a thread of maliciousness lurking behind her eyes, something to tell him that she didn't really mean what she said. There was nothing. Her words were genuine. And unfair. She wasn't supposed to forgive him. "Why would you do that?"
"Because I love you," Erza said simply. "Nothing I do—nothing you do seems to change that."
Way down below, waves crashed against the base of the tower. A similar sound had lulled Jellal to sleep for so many nights, years and years before, though back then they weren't quite so wild.
"Do you mean that?"
"Of course I do." She rose on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his mouth. Though he returned her kiss like a starving man, his lips shook under hers and he knew that he was more afraid of this than she was.
Jellal wrapped his arms around her back and held her close while the world turned bright, bright white, she forgives me circling again and again in his thoughts. Beneath his feet, the ground began to break apart, large chunks of the tower shucking off and falling into the ocean, revealing the lacrima beneath the casing. It was clearer than diamond. Erza's arms tightened around his neck; she deepened their kiss.
She forgives me and I'm going to let her die.
Don't feel guilty.
After all, that was how it was supposed to be.
Erza died. Zeref came back. And then Jellal would kill himself to join the woman he loved.
That was how it was supposed to go.
Then why do I feel so sick?
The girl clutching his neck trembled. The air got so incredibly hot. So incredibly dense. The tower vibrated and hummed. The lacrima's glow brightened.
The Etherion is coming.
No. It wasn't coming. It was there. Clutching Erza like a lifeline, Jellal pinched his eyes closed and kept his mouth against hers. Faintly, he could feel her chest rising and falling frantically, her heart beating against her ribs.
Or maybe it's yours.
The ground shook so violently they were forced to break their kiss, the Etherion blast crushing them to their knees. White noise filled the tower. His skin burned. Erza held him and screamed, though the sound was lost in the roar of magic. Jellal joined her. It hurt. The magic hurt. Even as the tower swallowed it up, some Etherion escaped.
And then, as abruptly as it had started, it stopped. Down below, the water settled. The light died. The noise…
Had changed.
Now the world was filled with a hum and crackling. Jellal forced his eyes open and blinked them clear. The first thing he saw was the scarlet of Erza's hair. Always scarlet. Then her wide, scared eyes and her red lips quivering. A deafening crack made him release her so he could clap his hands to his ears. "What is that?" Though he raised his voice to as loud as it could go, it still sounded muffled to his ears.
"The lacrima is breaking," Erza screamed back.
Jellal was in the midst of denying her when the whole tower shifted and a thread of pure Etherion leaked out just feet away. "Why?" he asked dazedly. Then he shook himself. This is it. You have to work quickly. If he was going to bring Zeref back…
Standing, he grabbed Erza's wrist and yanked her to her feet. Her ankle twisted in her high heels. He pulled her close and stabilized her. Except the tower grumbled again and more power burst out of the crystalline structure, throwing them off balance. Jellal lurched, doing everything he could to keep upright.
Now. Do it now. It was hard, working up the courage to kill her.
The next groan that came from the tower sounded like steel grinding against stone, long and shrill. The biggest leak yet was sprung, and just over Erza's shoulder. The girl twisted and yelped; her shoulder was burned.
It's not going to work, Jellal realized with a start. The tower was falling apart. "Why isn't it holding?"
"It's too much power. We have to get out of here!"
"No!" Work fast. Kill Erza before he was ready. Kill her before it was too late. "I have to resurrect him!" He imagined Erza bleeding from a hole where her heart used to be. Use your magic and make it so. Power gathered in his hand. But he choked.
"Please!" Erza grabbed the hand that held the magic, obviously uncaring that it pricked her skin and made her itch and burn, and started pulling him towards the open ledge. He didn't move, muttering, 'I have to,' again and again.
"Jellal!"
He tried to explain it to her. "I waited so many years—I worked so hard." Had dreamed so long. The magic fizzled from his fingers.
Erza screamed, "Jellal—please—the tower is going to explode. We have to get away!"
He knew she was right; the tower was failing. Soon there would be nothing left. So kill her. While the tower is holding. There's time. He grabbed her by the hem of her dress and pulled her back. Just one shot. She was so fragile without her armour. Soft. Capable of bleeding and dying.
For Zeref.
Again he gathered magic in his hand. Erza, reading his intent, blinked at him morosely and summoned one of her short swords. "Maybe you can take my life without remorse, but if I have to kill you… it's something I'll carry with me until I die. Will you make me do it?"
Jellal looked at her shining sword and imagined it sliding through his chest. "You know I can't stop. Please."
Please kill me.
"Erza—"
She gathered his meaning. "How can you ask me that?"
Unafraid of her sword, he stole a kiss, putting into that motion all of the things he meant but felt inadequate when put into words.
Erza pushed away from him. "You don't want to die, and you don't really want to kill me. Stop pretending."
Pretender. "I'm—"
"I can see it in your eyes, Jellal," Erza said. "Just come—"
Jellal pressed in on his temples when it felt like too much. "Stop. Stop it. Stop trying to confuse me."
"I'm not. I only want to help you."
"Stop it!" Just kill her and she'll be silent. He tried to find his conviction, but he felt so hollow looking into Erza's frightened eyes. I did this.
The ground rumbled, sending them almost to their knees. Erza caught him by the arms and steadied both of them. "Come on, Jellal. Let me take care of you. We'll be together and I'll never, ever leave. Not anymore."
They could do it. He could be with her. Clearly, he could imagine them being together. This time, Erza's eyes would be dry. She'd laugh. Not cry. She'd breathe. Not bleed. It was possible. He knew it. Except…
"We'll never make it."
"Yes, we will."
No, they wouldn't. Not together. The Etherion was leaking out at an alarming rate, on the brink of explosion, and with no one fused to the tower and nowhere to direct the energy… they were both going to die and it was going to be for nothing.
Mouth dry, he asked, "You thought of me?"
"What?" Erza blinked at him, confused.
"When you escaped the tower when we were kids. You thought of me?"
She answered immediately and honestly. "Every day."
Jellal caught her face between his hands and looked into her eyes. "And would you have taken me with you?"
"I wanted to, Jellal. You know I did."
He did know.
Directly over her heart, he pressed his palm against her chest. "I'm sorry, Erza. I'm sorry I couldn't be better. I'm sorry you're here."
Magic came this time and Erza fell. Watching her spiral down was bittersweet. She was getting what she deserved.
Freedom. Maybe.
Pain. Most definitely.
Blood and midnight.
Her chest was leaking blood. Her eyes were seeing midnight.
She was falling.
Falling over the edge of the tower.
Down into the ocean.
Away from the explosion that was relentlessly coming.
Jellal looked over the ledge and watched her splash way down below. Watched the scarlet fizzle in the inky water.
Maybe she'll drown.
Maybe.
Maybe she'd find the floating leavings of the Tower of Heaven and paddle to safety.
Maybe she'd die of dehydration.
Or… or maybe she'd continue on, stronger than ever. Fire in a world born aflame.
Jellal closed his eyes and let the tower take him.