We parked ways away from our actual location. The Joker didn't want the van to be too close, despite the need to be able to have an escape route. He told Peter to remain with the van, but Peter objected.
The Joker grabbed hi head, placing his switchblade – that always seemed to be in his hand at the right moment – close to Peter's mouth. "Don't like it, Peter?" the Joker asked, cruelly. "Who's the boss here?"
"You, boss," Peter responded quietly, his eyes wide as he watched the Joker.
"When I give you an or-der, I expect you to obey it, not question it."
"Sorry, boss."
The Joker shoved Peter away from him with disgust. He turned away, taking a few steps and then stopping, lifting his head to the sky. He remained that way for a minute before turning back and telling us to get back in the car. The Joker took the driver's seat and brought the van much closer to our location.
We piled out again, and the Joker tossed the keys to Cory, telling the quiet man to stay with the car and to keep a sharp eye out for any strange movement.
We walked the rest of the way, and quite quickly, Iceberg Lounge came into view. By this point, I had remembered what the Joker had referred to. Two weeks prior, we had come here so that the Joker could talk to the Penguin about a meeting. Then, the Penguin had seemed very reluctant to tell the Joker, but I guess the Joker was just convincing enough with his violent actions to get it out of him.
The Joker grabbed my hand suddenly, and dragged me over into the shadows beside the nightclub. He shoved me against the wall roughly, placing a hand over my mouth before I could speak. With a jerk of his head, he gave his men a signal to go ahead, and I saw them disappear from my peripheral vision.
When the Joker freed my mouth, I asked quietly, "We're not going in with them?"
"We're going in the back way," the Joker said. I raised an eyebrow. "Remember last time, how I was greeted when I walked in? The Penguin might be fashionable, but I doubt that he's taught his men to be nice to guests." He motioned me to be silent and to follow him.
I obeyed, following him closely as he walked to the back, passing the back door, which confused me until I saw that he was headed for a cellar. He crouched down and patted the cellar doors down, his fingers catching on a secret latch. Jerking it, there was a click, and the Joker stepped back as the doors opened on their own.
He headed down into the darkness, and I hesitated, unsure if this was a good idea. However, when the doors started to close, I particularly dived in after him, knowing that I'd regret it if I let them close, locking him in alone.
I couldn't see anything and crashed into the Joker, who couldn't help but giggle softly. I put a hand on his shoulder, closing my eyes and activating my shadow vision before opening them again. Nothing happened; I still couldn't see anything. I sighed and turned off the shadow vision. I guess that complete darkness doesn't work either; I still needed a little light. A mix of light and dark makes shadow, made sense to me.
The Joker moved cautiously in the darkness with me following behind him. He knocked into things a few times, but didn't hit them hard enough to make much noise. My heart pounded in my chest, until I heard the Joker heave a sigh. He jerked something, and there was another click that produced a hissing sound.
A pair of doors opened in front of us, producing sharp rays of light. The Joker and I narrowed our eyes against the harsh light before stepping into it, where the doors closed behind us. From what I could tell, we were in an enlarged dumbwaiter that automatically brought us up a floor.
The doors didn't open, but I noticed an open button on the side. I reached for it, but the Joker suddenly snapped his hand down on my wrist, stopping me. He pushed me against the wall, placing his hands on either side of my face. "I have a few rules I want you to go by for this," he said quietly, seriously. "I want you to behave yourself. Don't speak unless spoken to. Don't do anything stupid. We want to make a fine impression on our fellow criminals."
"We do?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.
"I'm not the only one who likes pushing buttons," he warned me. "Be nice, and keep your remarks to yourself."
My mouth twitched with amusement. "You're not serious, are you?" I asked, catching on.
He patted my cheek, none too gently. "That's my girl," he complimented, "Sharp as ever."
"Any of those rules real?"
"Use your common sense." He grinned and then planted a quick kiss on my cheek. Reacting on an impulse, I raised my hand, but he caught it, giggling softly. "Old habits die hard," he teased me. "Surely by now, we've over the slapping part."
"Sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed.
"I forgive you." He kissed me on the other cheek and then took a step back, gesturing toward the button. "Act-ually, I've decided that you'll go in first."
"Scared I might backstab you?" I asked, my mouth twitching.
The Joker shrugged, carelessly. "I'm a gentleman at heart. Ladies first." He gestured again, and I smirked, pushing the button and opening the doors. They opened into a dimly lit hallway, and I headed down, turning at the end into a large room that turned out to be a conference room with a curved table – in the shape of a donut with the hole in the middle – and seven chairs set around it. At each place of the round table was a glass of water – why? I don't know. Five of the seven were occupied by various people, all dressed up in their criminal professional outfits. Three men, two women. I recognized all of them without difficulty.
There was Poison Ivy, dressed in scandalous green clothing with her red hair flowing over her shoulders, sitting alone along one side while Catwoman, in a black leather catsuit that hide all but her eyes, sat between the heavy Penguin, dressed in a tuxedo, and Scarecrow, wearing a brown suit with his mask on his head, on the other. I simply assumed that Raven was in the room too, to be here with Scarecrow. At the far end, sat the Riddler with his question-mark cane between his wide-spread legs. He wore a green hat with a question mark on top of his red-haired head, and I grinned at the red eyemask he wore. He looked like the leader of the criminal masterminds, leaning casually back in his chair, watching the door.
I had automatically melded into the shadows of the room as I had walked in, merging from the shadows of the hallway into the room. There was only one bright light hanging from the ceiling, and it hovered over the hole in the middle of the circular table. I smiled, seeing that this could be my advantage.
The Penguin held a waistcoat watch in his hand, and he snapped it closed. "Seems like it's just us," he said. "The clown's not showing his face."
"He'll turn up," the Riddler said, confidently.
"Sometimes I wonder if we have these meetings just so you can face against the Joker," Poison Ivy said.
The Riddler turned his head. "You know, I never really liked you, Ivy. But with each of these meetings, I've noticed you're growing on me." He chuckled softly. "Oh, that one's good enough for the Joker."
Mocking laughter echoed in the room, and I knew who was making his dramatic entrance. "Riddle me this, riddle me that," the Joker said mockingly as he approached the empty seat neat Poison Ivy and Scarecrow. "When is the Riddler not the top dog in Gotham? When the Joker's on the streets." The Joker smirked at the Riddler as he took his seat. "There's a reason why people like jokes better than riddles. Everyone likes to laugh more than think."
"You're not funny, Joker," the Riddler said, scowling.
The Joker shrugged as he adjusted his jacket. "You take yourself too ser-iously, Riddler."
"Coming in alone still, Joker?" Poison Ivy asked before the Riddler could retort.
"Sad, isn't it-ah?" the Joker said, mocking sadness. "But at least I'm here. Someone's missing…"
"Mr. Freeze was captured less than a week ago," the Penguin put in.
"Ah, the Iceman," the Joker said, snapping his fingers with recollection. At first, I really believed that he hadn't remembered, but when he snapped his fingers…that told me he was only acting, cause he didn't really want to give away the fact that he had taken Mr. Freeze's place after the police had moved out. "I worried-ah he was getting cold feet." The Joker smirked, but didn't laugh. "Glad you all decided to, ah, to wait for me. I ah-polo-gize for my lateness."
"We weren't waiting for you," Catwoman murmured, just loud enough for the Joker to hear.
"Growling at me, Kitten?" the Joker asked, throwing her a curious glance. His scarred mouth widened into a ghoulish smile. "Maybe you should take up the growling contest with my Shadow."
"Your shadow doesn't make noise." Catwoman's mouth twitched. She didn't know what – or who – the Joker was really talking about.
"Not that one," he sighed, exasperated as he motioned me forward with two fingers. "I'm talkin' about-ah this Shadow."
I obediently stepped into the circle of light, enough to come out of my shadowmeld technique. Only my eyes and forehead hide in shadow so that the criminals knew I was a woman by my form.
There was a series of reactions from each criminal. The Penguin's eyes, behind his spectacles, widened; Catwoman glared as her cheeks turned slightly red with embarrassment. Poison Ivy looked unfazed and didn't move from her position of sitting with her arms and legs crossed. Scarecrow's face was hidden behind his mask, but I saw a glint of recognition in his icy blue eyes. Lastly, the Riddler simply smiled with curiosity.
"I believe, Joker, that you said you came in alone," the Riddler said.
"I did, Riddler," the Joker insisted. "Shadow was in here be-fore me."
Scarecrow cleared his throat as he leaned forward, placing his clasped hands on the tabletop. "There's already one here who can sneak in here without being seen."
"I wasn't sneak-ing," I said, confidently. "I walked right in." Then, I felt a tingling sensation, and as my shadow senses kicked in, I sensed someone coming up behind me. Quickly, I sidestepped and grabbed at the air with a hand, gaining hold of something solid. I cracked it down on the table beside the Joker, and whoever it was, my guess was Raven, gave a cry of startled pain.
I was correct; Raven seemed to appear out of nowhere, sitting on the ground and rubbing her head. I hadn't tried to hit her so hard, but my reflexes were faster than my thoughts. Her azure eyes narrowed as she pushed off the ground, bending upward to her feet. She towered over me, easily being five inches taller than me, and I felt like she was belittling me, despite us being friends. Of course, with the way she stood, looking menacing, I saw that we weren't friends at the moment.
Just for show, I played along, glaring back at her and standing my ground.
"Made friends al-ready ," the Joker complimented, glancing over at Scarecrow. "Might want to, ah, to separate them now before one of them snaps."
Scarecrow nodded in agreement and snapped his fingers loudly. Raven fixed me with a cold stare before retreating back to the masked man without taking her eyes away from me. Scarecrow's icy stare chilled me more than Raven's forced angry glare.
"I thought it would be polite to invite Shadow, here, to our 'group therapy sessions'," the Joker explained, "After all, she'll be joining us from now on."
"She's not like the usual people you choose," the Penguin commented.
"She's well-trained," the Joker said, with a grin.
"Another specially-talented woman," Catwoman remarked, still angry.
"Seems like females are better than men," Poison Ivy stated, smugly.
"What makes you say that?" the Riddler asked, curiously. "Just because you have nature powers, Raven has invisibility, and Shadow has other unknown abilities, doesn't make you any higher in our ranking."
"As if we are ranked when we're all together," Ivy breathed irritably, rolling her eyes. "We all know that you're jealous of the Joker being the 'top dog' in Gotham."
"I am the Clown Prince of Crime," the Joker injected, grinning smugly.
"And top most wanted," I murmured, quietly.
"And you, Joker, are jealous of us who have special talents," Ivy continued, turning her attention to the clown. "So you went and picked up someone with a talent."
"Har-dly," he responded.
"I thought you had a thing with that doctor of yours back in Arkham," Ivy pressed. "You know, the white blonde girl, Harleen Quinzel."
The Joker waved his hand dismissively. "Hardly," he repeated. "My doc happens to be stupid enough to, ah, to write me off as 'cured'." I felt the sides of my mouth twitch as the other criminals came up with remarks to berate the Clown Prince of Crime.
"It's called manipulation," the Joker shouted over the others' remarks. "Arkham tends to get boring after awhile so I decided to play with my doc's mind. Something Scarecrow can relate to." Scarecrow nodded grimly.
"You don't care about the artwork of crime," the Riddler growled. "You just enjoy ruining things."
"Plans are my favorite thing to, ah, to ruin. It creates chaos. Oh, and I care, as much as you care about-ah sounding in-tell-igent, Nigma," the Joker smirked, spreading his hands out wide like it make him look more fantastic. The Riddler glared at him.
It seemed to me like the Joker enjoyed toying with the Riddler the most because he got the serious reactions out of him. It almost made sense because the Joker was all about laughter and fun and chaos, while the Riddler was all about seriousness and planning and order – as far as I could tell.
"We're not here to fight," Scarecrow interjected.
"Are we here for a 'therapy session'?" Catwoman demanded.
I grinned, enjoying this. The way the top criminal masterminds fought amongst themselves, and there were a few who would try to keep us all on the same level of anger and hatred. When I glanced at the Joker, he was leaning back casually, obviously enjoying this as much as I was, and he was the one who was revving everybody up.
"To make the clown happy because he seems to need it desperately," the Penguin remarked after one of the others' comment, gripping his glass and raising it to his lips.
Without realizing what I was doing, I grabbed my gun from my belt and pulled the trigger. The Joker's hand flew up and knocked my hand slightly to the side so that it hit the Penguin's glass, shattering it and spilling water out the table.
The Penguin gasped with a funny-sounding "Waugh!"
All the criminals looked at me and the Joker, who still had his hand on my wrist. Most of them were surprised, but two of them – the Riddler and Scarecrow – stared at me intently with interest and curiosity.
"That remark was uncalled for, Penguin," I growled. I felt the Joker's grip on my wrist tighten painfully, but I ignored it and lowered my gun, keeping it at my side. The Joker reached over with his other hand and pried my fingers from my weapon. I let him take it from me, as I was confused by why I was reacting angrily to the Penguin's remark about the Joker. I was beginning to surprise myself.
"Maybe not so well trained," the Riddler said, smirking at the Joker as the Joker pocketed my handgun.
"I like a woman with her own in-telli-gence," the Joker responded, calmly. "Unlike your own pair of prostitutes."
I heard a shuffle of feet rather across the room, and I realized that there were two women standing on either side of the Riddler, a step behind to hide in the shadows on their own. The Riddler surprised me by getting really angry about the Joker's harsh comment, so angry that he couldn't speak.
I looked out of the corner of my eyes to see the triumphant grin on the Joker's face.
The Riddler took a few moments to regain his composure. His red gloved-hands rubbed the curve of his cane as he thought his words through. "Joker," he said, his voice calm, "How long has Shadow been with you? I don't recall seeing her when we last happened to cross paths."
The Joker shifted in his seat as if he didn't know whether or not to tell the Riddler the truth. I didn't see what the problem was; he could just claim that he had left me at the base for that one time.
"Almost three weeks," the Joker answered unexpectedly as he pushed his green-tinted hair back.
The looks of surprise made the Joker chuckle.
"What? Didn't think I could make her stay with me for that long?" the Joker asked, like he didn't understand anyone's surprise.
"Shadow, is that true?" Poison Ivy asked, carefully. I was surprised myself, by how honest the Joker was. Unable to speak, I simply nodded.
I shrugged, as wordless as everyone else in the room. It didn't matter to me how I long had stayed with the Joker. He wasn't bribing me or doing anything that I didn't like – not including the few times I've caught him off guard and he had nearly killed me in his state of surprise and anger. I had been pulled into the Joker's influence since he first took me off the streets.
The Joker had definitely won me over, far quicker than any other man had in my life – and I mean loyalty and respect-wise.
Finally, Scarecrow stood up, his towering six feet giving him the advantage, and soon, everyone's eyes were focused on him. "Despite how some of us are enjoying the arguing," – the Joker chuckled softly to himself – "And the almost unpenetratable silence" – I grinned faintly – "We should probably end that now, and actually get to why we're here."
"Did we have a particular reason?" Poison Ivy asked as Scarecrow seated himself again, "Or does the Riddler has another plan to end the Batman."
"I didn't exactly plan this meeting," the Riddler began, but the Penguin cut across him.
"What was the last one?" the Penguin asked, curiously.
"How he wanted all of us to join together and defeat Batman," Raven said, "Which three of us turned down."
The Riddler took a deep breath – he seemed to be on the verge of losing his temper – and said, "Well, the Joker doesn't exactly want Batman gone."
"I'd help out Batman if you joined together," the Joker said, casually. "We're all different personalities that would clash at every turn. Even if some of us work alone, ahem, Kitten and Ivy-."
"Not anymore," Poison Ivy interrupted.
The Joker widened his eyes with mock surprise. "Bane's back in the picture?"
An inhuman growl echoed in the room, and the hairs on the back of my neck prickled uneasily. I turned my head and realized that there was someone – someone big – standing in the shadows behind Poison Ivy's chair. I took a slight step toward the Joker, wishing I had noticed the one hiding in my shadows.
"Hello, Bane, long time no see," the Joker called, cheerfully. "As I was saying, even those who are solo have the wish for control, for order."
I rolled my eyes, expecting the Joker to go into a preaching moment of telling why chaos was better than order. He surprised me though.
"It'd be hectic, Riddler," the Joker growled, his tone hardening, anger flashing across his face. "I don't recommend it."
"Which is why I dropped it the last meeting," the Riddler snapped, irritated.
"Good, now that we're all on the same page…" The Joker snapped his wrist out to the side and then back – like he had for my best friend's picture – and he produced a deck of cards. "The reason why we're here is to give each other 'therapy' so why don't we do that while playing a game. Like a get-together. Who's up for poker?"
"You'll win," Catwoman growled.
"I'm not playing," the Joker said, standing up. He stepped out of the way and then placed a hand on my shoulder. "Shadow's taking my place. I'll be the dealer." He applied pressure on my shoulder and sat me down in his place. "And to make sure I don't cheat…" He drifted off as he set the deck in front of me. "Take out the jokers. No wild cards tonight," he told me as he started to pull his arms out of his jacket.
"If you're not playing, Joker, maybe we'll chance the wild cards," the Riddler said, smirking. "Leave one wild card in the deck, Shadow." I flashed him an amused grin as I slid the deck along the table, neatly laying them all out. I pulled out one joker card and set it aside before taking up the deck and shuffling it.
The Joker, after placing his jacket on the back of my chair, had also started to take off his gloves, and when I said, "I doubt you'll have cards in your gloves at this hour, Mister J. Besides, you'll get the cards dirty."
The Joker gave me a strange look before laughing with amusement. "Who needs group therapy when you're around?" he giggled, taking the deck from me, and shuffling a great deal faster than I could – and I mean, that's saying a lot because I shuffle quicker than most people. "You playing, Raven?" he asked.
"No thanks," Raven replied, curtly.
The Joker simply shrugged, carelessly, focusing on his shuffling. Of course, since I was watching him, he started performing fancy cuts and shuffles so Poison Ivy started a conversation.
"While he's showing off to his girl, you made a successful escape from Arkham, Scarecrow," Poison Ivy began. "Did Raven help you, or did she need help?"
"The Joker owed me a favor," Raven replied, her tone hard. I wouldn't expect anything else, with the fact that Poison Ivy had spoken to Scarecrow rather than Raven about the escape. "He and Shadow helped me out."
Poison Ivy's eyes widened. "The Joker owed you a favor?"
"That's what I said."
"How in the world did you get him to do it?"
The Joker began passing out the cards for the poker game, more like shooting them like darts at everyone, managing to throw them in the precise way for them to make the journey across the room to land directly before the Riddler, the Penguin, and Catwoman who were farthest from him. "I love how she's talks about me like I'm not here," he murmured, giggling softly. With all my shadow senses on, I heard him, but kept my confusion from my face.
Raven smirked at Poison Ivy and said, with a crooked smile, "Why, Poison Ivy, ever thought to ask him nicely? He's really quite the gentleman."
The Penguin snorted loudly as he collected his cards.
"That's Penguin's title," the Riddler pointed out. "Joker's a clown."
"So what's that make you, Nigma?" the Joker asked as he started shuffling the cards again, waiting. "Genius of Crime? The mastermind who can't kill anyone without having nightmares about it-ah!" The Joker laughed. "I should just call you 'Harmless' Genius of Crime then."
"You think I'm harmless?" the Riddler asked, darkly. He stood up. "I'll prove to you that I'm harm-ful."
"Oh, please, you can't beat Batsy in the harmful department," the Joker said, blowing it off with a wave of his hand.
"We're not here to fight," Scarecrow said, sternly.
"Come on, Scarecrow," the Joker complained, "This is a therapy session. We should be getting out all our frust-r-ations out. Don't disrupt the therapy."
"You're the one causing the disruption, clown," Poison Ivy argued.
The Joker shrugged, passing out cards again for a second round – amazing how the criminals could be so wound up in their conversation but still play the game at hand. I wondered how often they have these meetings. I could hardly keep up with the conversation, much less the game – all I had focused on the poker game was my reflexes and split-second thoughts.
"I bring disruption to life, Ivy," the Joker explained. "It's what I do. That's the definition of chaos."
Catwoman scoffed. "I'm surprised a clown knows about chaos."
The Joker flicked a card at her, but she managed to catch it before it hit her in the eye. "First of all, I was in Gotham before…any of you," he growled. "And you don't count, Scarecrow. You weren't working on your own yet. Second, I did go to school. I was just too intelligent to finish it and chaos was calling me."
I turned my head and blinked at him, catching the reference to his scar story about his step-mom beating him for staying out late, studying. Before he caught sight of me, I jerked my head back and focused on my cards.
We were quiet for a bit, until the beginning of the third round, where I realized I had the Joker's card in my hand, along with a number of good cards – aka. three other cards that were exactly the same. I'd be hard to beat at this point.
"Let's go into psychology for a moment," the Joker said. "I've been wondering…Kitten, you don't go to Arkham; you go to Blackgate so you don't necessarily need these therapy sessions. Why you come, is a mystery to me, but since you're here, it means you'll have to be a victim of verbal abuse. Everyone else has had their share in some particular way."
"How's that?" the Riddler asked.
"If you were paying attention, Nigma," the Joker growled. "You and your serious harmlessness. Penguin almost getting shot by Shadow. Ivy being proved a fool by Raven. Scarecrow and Raven combined asked about the escape from Arkham. Me having Shadow around. Even Mr. Freeze has been talked about. It's only fair for you to have a turn."
Catwoman made to stand, but the Joker glared at her, darkly.
"No way out of it, Kitten," the Joker growled, flicking a card at me for my call. "Next time, don't come, if you don't want to be abused." She stiffened, but seated herself down. The Joker's mood instantly lightened, and he was grinning again. "So, I'll make it easy for you, this time, Kitten. You have any interesting fascination for our flying rodent friend-."
"Speak for yourself, Joker," Catwoman snarled.
"It's not the same, Kitten," the Joker argued. "I'm not-ah gay. He and I couldn't exist without the other. Yin and yang, black and white."
"If anything, only your face is white," Poison Ivy grumbled, putting down her cards on the table.
"Only Harvey Dent was white," Scarecrow remarked, revealing his hand.
"And I brought him down," the Joker said, proudly.
"The media doesn't say so," the Riddler argued, snapping his cards down.
"You don't want to believe in every-thing the media tells you," the Joker remarked, motioning me to reveal my cards. I did, revealing the wild card with four jacks, another five-of-a-kind, and the other master criminals groaned. "The ones who know the truth are me, Gordon, and Batsy." As I collected the winnings, the Joker sighed sadly, and said, "Come to think of it, I haven't seen Batman around."
"You've been too busy," the Penguin said, his eyes darting towards me for a few seconds.
The Joker slammed his fist on the table in anger. "I told you, I'm not…that kind of guy!" he snapped.
"Can I kill him?" I asked, glaring at the obese man.
"Not now, Shadow," the Joker replied easily. "Maybe I'll just leave Iceberg Lounge with a great many fire-works to attract Batman's attention."
"Not necessary, Joker," Raven said. The Joker threw a cold stare in her direction, but she motioned for him to be quiet. For a few seconds, we all waited in dead silence, ears perked.
By the way the Glasgow smile was returning to the Joker's face, I knew what I should be listening for, and I heard it. The sound of a loud commotion in the main part of the nightclub.
The other criminals stood up and started to leave, but I grabbed the Joker's arm before he could run out.
"Listen, I know you want to go see Batman, but can't we not?" I asked.
"Scared of him, aren't ya?" the Joker teased me. I wasn't amused. He saw the seriousness in my expression, and I saw his excitement fade painfully. "All right, fine, let's go," he said, wearily. "Get my jacket."
I smiled weakly as I retrieved his purple coat and handed it to him. He seemed to be moving slow on purpose, slipping one arm into a sleeve and then the others, taking time to make sure it was straightened. He was driving me nuts with anxiety.
Once he was set, we were the last ones in the conference room. The Joker sighed and picked up his deck of cards, slipping them into his pocket before heading out.
I was confused. "I thought we can in through that door," I said, pointing.
"Didn't you know that going out the same way you came in is the best way of getting caught?" the Joker asked.
I bit back a retort to that and merely nodded.
"Let's go, Shadow." He was already across the room.
"No," I said, hurrying toward him. He turned toward me, eyes suspicious. I shadowed forward, grabbing him by the shoulders and shadowed.
The Joker might not have noticed, but I heard the breathing up on the ceiling. If I hadn't shadowed to reach the Joker, I was positive that the Batman would have caught him before I got there.
Lordlink13: You know what I've noticed (suddenly realizes that's part of the Joker's lines in the hospital scene with Harvey Dent), ha-ha, laugh at myself, anyway…you know what I've noticed, comparing myself to other Joker/OC authors, I've been the best "on-time" updater. I set the update for once a week, and I keep my promise to that – if I ever fail, it's like two days later, at the most – whereas other stories don't get updated on a regular basis. Some fail to be updated until like a month or longer. It tortures me! So I understand the agony for some of you, but really, would you rather me update once a week or once a month? *obvious look in The-Stalker's direction* Love ya all, anyway!