Disclaimer: Since very little money is coming in for the show, only a few pennies for each DVD that's sold, (and that's probably gobbled up by keeping the copyright up to date) I don't want to own the show Victorious.
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After the Show
Chapter 3
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The sexy sax music was still playing in the background as Jade West and Tori Vega slowly awoke in the half Latina's new bed after making love for over an hour, then taking a long nap. After disentangling herself from the svelte teen and standing up, Jade grabbed her glass of booze from the nightstand and joked, "I guess this room is thoroughly christened."
"It most certainly is," Tori giggled as she rolled out of bed and snatched up her bottle of Single Malt. She took a swig and swallowed before adding, "And I created three other differently decorated bedrooms up here, all with large en suite bathrooms, so we aren't stuck with just this one."
"Impressive," Jade said, rattling her still ice filled glass before walking over to the bar and refilling it with vodka. Neither girl were concerned that Jade's ice hadn't melted during their sexual exploits and long nap afterward. They just considered it a normal movie/TV break in continuity, like a cigarette that's completely burned down to the butt in one scene then only half finished in the next.
Tori placed the bottle of Whisky back in its normal place on the shelf and watched as it magically refilled before asking, "So, what do you wanna do today? Personally, I feel like either skydiving or bungee jumping."
"Why not both?" Jade suggested as she set her glass down on the counter and noticed it immediately became empty and clean. "We can bungee out of an airplane, then cut ourselves loose and skydive the rest of the way."
"Yeah, yeah," Tori nodded in agreement as the two headed downstairs. "But just to make it interesting, we could carry our parachutes and put them on after we lose the bungee cord."
"If you wanna do it that way," Jade sniped as she swiftly typed something in to her computer, "why not just bungee out of the plane without a parachute? Your way, you could accidentally drop the chute when the cord snaps taut and you'd have to either lose the bungee and crash to the ground or get dragged by the plane when it lands, 'cause the bungee would have to be attached to the rear landing wheel or something back there so it wouldn't get tangled up in the propeller."
As the two teens exited the house and immediately found themselves at a rural airport, Tori said, "So basically you're suggesting we jump out of a plane without a parachute and plunge to our deaths."
Jade wickedly grinned as they stepped into the rear of a small prop plane and took to the skies, answering, "Basically... Except the falling to our death thing since we can't die or get injured."
"Oh that's right. I forgot."
As they gained altitude, Jade and Tori decided to try it first wearing the chutes while bungee jumping, just so they could experience the parachuting part of the jump. The next time up they bungeed without the chutes, letting them experience a naked free fall before violently impacting with the hard earth. (And both leaving a very deep, human body-shaped crater from the impact that magically disappeared as they walked away.) Finally, they tried a few different ways of crashing after the free fall: Landing on their feet, their heads, their backs, crashing through trees before hitting the ground, et. al.. Every time they mercilessly crashed to the ground, they'd immediately stand up, brush themselves off and head back to meet the plane.
For the last jump, the two teens bungeed out of the plane then hung there while the craft landed letting it drag them along the entire length of the runway before it came to a halt.
After starting to walk away from what they'd decided to be their last time up, Tori noticed the the wide open tarmac they'd been walking on had suddenly become a fairly narrow street with very old, two or three story building on either side of the unpaved street. She turned to Jade and tentatively asked, "Um, where are we?"
The Goth girl glanced up the street where a loud cheer had just arose, as she answered, "Pamplona."
"Pamplona? I don't think I know where..." Tori started to question before the name rang a bell. "Wait a minute. Do you mean Pamplona Spain? As in the town where the annual running of the bulls takes place?"
Jade didn't have time to answer as a huge crowd of people dressed in white pants, long sleeve white shirts with red sash belts around their waists and red handkerchiefs tied around their necks came running past them in a big hurry. All the two girls could do to avoid the mass of people was plaster themselves against one of the rough brick walls, hoping that no one would crush their bare feet in the mad dash. Luckily the two teens were able to avoid the initial stampede.
Unfortunately, they couldn't avoid the second rush of bodies which consisted of a dozen or more very large snorting animals coming directly at them. Tori was immediately tossed straight up into the air as one of the bulls butted her in the butt, before continuing its mad dash for the rest of the crowd. As soon as she unceremoniously crashed back to the hard earthen street, Tori rolled as quickly as she could to wall and cowered in a ball, making herself as small of a target as she could. Luckily it worked and wasn't bothered by any more animals.
Jade on the other hand, stood her ground with arms defiantly crossed and stared down a charging bull. The large animal skidded to a stop, violently shook its head and let out a loud snort as if trying to understand the thing in front of it. The standoff lasted for a whole fifteen seconds, each simply staring at the other, before the bull let out with a bellowing roar and trotted around the girl looking for another person to run over or gore.
The Goth walked over to Tori and helped her to her feet before asking, "What do you wanna do next?"
Not answering the question, Tori incredulously blurted out, "You just faced off with a rampaging bull. Why... what... how did you to do that?"
Jade nonchalantly shrugged and said, "Everybody knows that bulls are colorblind and actually are attracted to and attack things that move a lot, so the capes used in bull fighting are mainly just to anger and make the bulls charge. It doesn't matter that the capes are red, just that they're waved in front of the bulls. I just stood still and the bull let me be. Now, what do you wanna do next?"
Tori evilly smiled as she finally answered, "As long as we're in Spain, I've always wondered what it would be like to participate in the Tomatino fight. I read on the net that it happens in the town of Buñol on the last Wednesday of August, so I wrote up a little scenario on my PearBook yesterday."
"Sounds like fun," Jade said as she threw her arm around Tori's naked shoulder and began to walk them down the street, "especially since we're naked."
As they turned a corner, they found themselves on another crowded Spanish street next to a huge truck piled high with the red fruit. (And yes, tomatoes are technically classified as a fruit, not a vegetable.) This time everyone was dressed normally and stood with their arms laden with red ripe tomatoes. Jade and Tori quickly armed themselves and waited for the starter's gun to sound.
They didn't have to wait for very long. For almost an hour after the pistol fired, red orbs flew through the air splattering everyone, including the two naked girls standing in the middle of the pandemonium.
Tori simply had a lot of fun being pelted by tomatoes and returning fire whenever she got the chance. (Standing there completely naked certainly make her a huge target, especially for the male participants.)
Jade on the other hand, got a little riled up when she got singled out by a few men and returned fire while aiming at a specific part of their anatomy, where their legs met their torsos. (And not squeezing the tomato first to break the outer skin so the impact wouldn't be so hard, like they were supposed to do according the rules for the event.)
When the final gun fired, both girls were covered from the tops of their heads to the tips of their toes with a red viscous mess, but found being hosed to be off quite refreshing and stimulating.
As they walked away down the street, they suddenly became dried off and their hair was back to its normally excellent coif. As they turned the corner, they found themselves on the tarmac of a military airbase. Tori turned to Jade and sarcastically questioned, "So I take it you were able to write us a script where we bomb a children's orphanage or something equally innocent?"
"Nah," Jade waived off the saucy comment as they approached two F-16 fighter jets already armed to the teeth and ready to take off as soon as they were secured in the cockpit, "nothing so mundane. No, I thought it'd be fun if we were attached to the squadron that attacked Godzilla in the movies."
Tori finally looked over at the jets and noticed that they had Japanese markings instead of American Air Force markings. She nervously gulped and said, "Oh, okay but... don't all of those jets get blown out of the sky by Godzilla?"
"Not all of them," Jade countered. "But even if we do get blown up, I figure we'll probably end up back here at the base, ready to get into another fighter."
Tori only thought for a moment before she perked up and said, "Hey-yeah, I think you're right. We'll either get sent back here or maybe show up back at my house since we can't die. Let's find out."
The two teens snuggled into the pilot's seat, forgoing the pressurized flight suits, helmets, goggles and parachutes. (But they still strapped themselves in with the harness system so they wouldn't get tossed around by any tricky air maneuvers.) They swiftly launched and soon were flying in formation along side three other jets with Jade on Tori's right wing. As they flew toward their target, the two girls chatted over the radio.
Just as they were starting their attack on the huge bellowing creature, and Jade was saying something about how she was loving every minute of it, the radio went silent. Tori glanced over to her right and didn't see Jade's plane where it should be.
Knowing her friend would be okay, Tori yelled, "Bonsai Tree!" and fired her missiles.
(Okay. Does anybody know why the attack phrase 'bonsai' is used? The word means potted plant! [and yes, I did look it up and know that it's actually spelled 'banzai', and means '10,000 years of long life'.])
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Tori walked into her house and noticed Jade nakedly sitting on the red couch, drinking a cup of coffee. She asked, "What happened to you? You just suddenly disappeared."
"I guess they needed me as a guest star on Cat's show." Jade set her mug down and continued, "I suddenly showed up, fully dressed, outside of Cat's apartment were we were supposed to work on a school project for Sikowitz, but I ended up becoming friends with Sam. Well, Cat got jealous of Sam and my friendship and got Sam's ex-boyfriend, Freddie, to come down to make Sam jealous. Then Sam and I invited Robbie over to make Cat all jealous. Meanwhile, a friend of theirs by the name of Dice, a kid with great looking hair, showed up and Sam was supposed to jump over a tank of killer Kansas Razorback Tuna to make some money to pay off the storage fees or something."
"Wait," Tori interrupted as she sat down on the other sofa. "Did you say killer tuna? Why not just sell 'em to make the up the costs?"
Jade lightly laughed, shrugged and answered, "Yeah, killer tuna. They're supposed to taste terrible and no one would buy them. So instead of just dumping them back in the ocean, they were going to sell a lotta ticket to the jump to cover everything.
"Anyway, Cat and Sam were mad at each other for hanging out with someone else but Cat didn't want Sam to get hurt, so she locked Sam in the closet and rode off to make the jump herself."
"Cat, on a motorcycle?" Tori full-out laughed. "I would have loved to see that."
"Yeah, it was hilarious," Jade laughed along. "Anyway, Cat crashed, Robbie and Freddie fell into the tank and got chewed up a bit and ended up in the hospital. That's all I know."
"Well, it sounds like you had a good time."
"I did," Jade chuckled before she sobered up. "But it felt really strange wearing clothes and being my old nasty self again."
The Goth girl quickly changed the subject and casually queried, "So how did the battle with Godzilla go?"
"Oh, about as expected," Tori groaned in defeat. "I got blown to smithereens twice by Godzilla's heat breath, got swatted out of the sky once when I flew too close to him, and the last time I pulled a kamikaze and crashed into his chest." The svelte teen smirked, "None of my missiles were effective, not even the one you designed."
"You fired off my scissor missile?" Jade asked in astonishment.
Tori answered, "Yeah. One of the last missiles I fired off was just a bunch of scissors. They simply bounced off him like he was made of titanium or something. He didn't even get scratched."
"What happened when you were blown up or taken out?" Jade curiously questioned.
"Oh, I always found myself in another jet flying towards Godzilla, except the last time. When I crashed into him and came to, I found myself outside the front door."
A comfortable silence fell over the two girls for a few minutes as they thought about all that had happened to them over the last few days. First they had discovered that they were only characters on a TV show that'd just been canceled and wouldn't age or change at all, no matter what happened to them, all while being totally naked. They reasoned, since they didn't remember sleeping or eating much, that bodily necessities weren't required. That meant that they could indulge in drinking, debauchery and any dangerous activity they could come up with and not suffer the consequences.
And indulge they did. Jade and Tori ran with the bulls in Spain, skydived without parachutes, raced both Grand Prix and dragsters to their heart's content and partied like depraved whores.
But they both knew that there was so much more that they could do. There was a whole world, a whole universe to explore and experience.
Jade stood up and said, "Come on, Tori."
The svelte brunette arose from the couch and curiously asked, "What do you want to do now?"
Jade headed for the front door and said over her shoulder, "I thought it'd be fun to go on a little motorcycle ride."
Tori followed, but suspiciously begged, "We're not going to the race tracks again, are we?"
"Nah," Jade waived off the idea as she opened the door and turned to her friend. "I thought we'd go somewhere else and race... Like the length of the Great Wall of China."
Tori immediately perked up and enthused, "I always wanted to see the Great Wall. Let's go."
As they exited the house, they immediately found themselves at one end of the Great Wall. Waiting for them were two powerful looking motorcycles and over thirteen thousand miles of wide walls, ditches and other barriers that at one time defended the country from marauding hordes, but now was considered one of the modern man-made wonders of the world.
As the two ever-eternal teens hopped on to the bikes, Tori happily called out, "I hope they don't renew the show or need us ever again."
Jade fired up her machine and yelled back, "You got that right!"
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Author's Final Note: To quote Tony Beretta, "And that's the name of that tune." I guess that gives you a good idea of just how old I am if I'm quoting a TV cop show from the late 70's. LOL! But that just means that I've gotten this story out of my system and won't continue it. Yes, I could launch the two girls into outer space in a rocket only to have them end up back in the Vega house after being blown up on reentry, or go swimming with a gam of sharks, but I've grown bored with it. (A group of sharks is also called a school, pod, herd, college and shiver. There's your trivia lesson for today.)
I hope you've enjoyed this little brain fart of mine. Review if you want, but I'm not looking for any. I just do this to keep my mind from atrophying and my fingers from getting too arthritic.