Ten.
There were ten people at Charlotte's funeral. Clarke and her parents, Mr. Kane, two doctors, two nurses, Charlotte's social worker and Lexa. Charlotte's drug-addicted parents were obviously absent and Clarke couldn't help but wonder if it's because they didn't know, they were in jail/rehab or… and this option made Clarke's blood boil… they did know and chose not to come.
She sees the priest's mouth moving but she doesn't bother trying to listen. Clarke is focusing her hearing on the rustling of the leaves while she stares at that casket. Anger fills her body. There shouldn't be any need for caskets that small. That child should not be dead and her body should not have to be buried in an unmarked plot, in a government-owned cemetery. They shouldn't have to be here.
Her thoughts are interrupted when she sees the casket begin moving downward.
"Wait!" She can feel all eyes on her as she walks over the casket and runs her fingers lightly over the top. She takes a deep breath and reaches into her small purse pulling out a box of crayons. With a shaking hand, she places them on top of the casket.
"Goodbye, sweet girl." She whispers before hastily wiping the tears off her cheeks and sternly walking away. Mrs. Griffin makes a point to follow her daughter when Lexa places a hand on her arm.
"I'll go Mrs. Griffin."
It took a few moments for Lexa to catch up to the blonde and when she does, she doesn't say anything. She doesn't know what to say. So, they just walk side by side in silence until they reach the car. Lexa quickly steps in front of tear-ridden Clarke, putting her hand out in front of the blonde. Understanding, Clarke places her keys in the brunette's hand and made her way to the passenger side.
Clarke was grateful when Lexa drove them to a nearby park and not home. Clarke wasn't ready to be around anybody else and somehow Lexa knew that. They made their way out of the vehicle and continued their walk, the only sound being the wind and Clarke's occasional sobs.
Lexa isn't sure how long they've been walking when Clarke breaks the silence.
"I broke a promise." Her voice cracked.
Lexa glances over to the girl. "What do you mean?" Her voice is soft and compassionate. She notices the blonde start crying harder and leads her to sit on a nearby bench.
"I broke a p-promise to Ch-Charlotte." She says in between sobs. "She s-said she knew she wasn't g-getting any b-better. S-she knew she w-was dying…" Lexa places her hand on Clarke's leg trying to offer up some sort of comfort to the girl as she continues to struggle through her words. "She was s-scared… scared of d-dying a-alone. I promised her I'd be t-there… I p-promised she w-wouldn't b-be a-alone."
Clarke's crying was uncontrollable now and Lexa was worried about the girl being able to breathe. Lexa didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around the blonde, rubbing soft circles on her back. They sat like that until she felt the other girl's breathing become steady and the sobs subside. She pulls herself away gently, sure to keep an arm around the girl's shoulder. Looking straight into blue eyes Lexa offered a soft smile.
"Clarke, listen to me. You had no way of knowing when she was going to go. You can't beat yourself up." She lifted her hand to remove a loose strand of blonde hair out of the girl's face before continuing. "You made the last month and a half of Charlotte's life worthwhile. I've known her for over a year and had never seen her so happy. YOU made her happy, Clarke. YOU made her feel loved and that's really all she ever wanted."
This time when Lexa smiles she get's one in return. "Thank you, Lexa." The brunette nods as the blonde rests her head on her shoulder.
They had spent about in an hour sitting on that bench. Lexa's arm never left Clarke's shoulders and for the first time in days Clarke felt like she would be ok. Like the sadness and guilt weren't going to suffocate her.
"Are you coming over to my place?" Clarke asks as they approach her car. "My parents invited Mr. Kane over too. I think they are ordering food… And uh..." She paused looking at the brunette who once again made her way to the drivers side. "I uh, would really like it if you came."
Lexa hesitated. "You're getting too close to her" she warned herself. But looking into hopeful blue eyes, she couldn't say no. "Ok." She says, getting into the car.
"Ok?"
"Yes Clarke. Besides, I never turn down free food." She smirked before turning on the car and putting it in drive. She swears she heard a small laugh come from the passenger seat.
When they arrive at the Griffin house they find the adults sitting around the dinner table surrounded by multiple pizza boxes.
"Oh girls, good! Come eat." Mrs. Griffin states as she stands to get two more plates. Lexa takes a seat near Mr. Kane and looks up to Clarke who's still standing.
"I'm just going to run to the restroom. Be right back." Clarke says with a small smile. Lexa nods in acknowledgment as turns her attention to the food in front of her.
"Thank you for the pizza." Lexa says as she grabs a slice.
"Anytime, sweetie. Thanks for taking care of Clarke today. And for putting a smile on her face. I haven't seen one in days." Mrs. Griffin says while pouring her a glass of lemonade.
Lexa lightly blushes and nods. Mr. Griffin, sensing Lexa was getting uncomfortable, changes the subject.
"So Lexa, Clarke tells me that you work at the Dropship Cafe."
"Yes, sir. Been there for about 6 months now."
"And you volunteer full time at the AYRC and you go to school?" Mr. Griffin asks with a hint of surprise and awe in his voice. Lexa nods affirmatively.
"And she's an honor student." Mr. Kane adds. Causing another blush from the brunette.
Mrs. Griffin smiles at the young woman. "Wow. You're quite the busy girl. That's all very impressive Lexa."
"Thank you ma'am."
"Please, call me Abby" Mrs. Griffin says, causing an unexpected laugh out of Mr. Kane. "Good luck with that one, Abby. I've been trying to get her to call me Marcus for almost two years now… Now, where is the little boys room?" Mrs. Griffin points down the hall and stands to show him the way to the restroom, leaving only Mr. Griffin and Lexa at the table.
"You know Lexa, Clarke is really enjoying her time at the center . She seems to think
very highly of you and I must say, after spending time with you today, I can see why."
Lexa smiles. "Thank you, sir. I'll be honest with you, I had my doubts about Clarke when she started." Unbeknownst to both of them, Clarke was on her way back into the dining room when the sound of her name caused her to stop. She listened as Lexa continued, "We've had some bad experiences with court-ordered volunteers. But your daughter… she's really surprised me." Lexa looks down at her pizza sadly. "I'll be sad to see her go when her 90 days are done."
Mr. Griffin notices blonde hair from around the corner and chuckles. "Something tells me my daughter won't be going anywhere." His statement causes Clarke to come around the corner and back into the dining room before her father says anything else. "Hey, sorry I took so long." She says as she takes a seat next to Lexa and immediately begins eating. She glances up at her father and offers him a shy smile. He smiles back, realizing now exactly how special this brunette was to his daughter.
After they finished their dinner, the adults adjourned to the living room and Lexa was helping Clarke with the dishes.
"Thanks." Clarke said as Lexa handed her the final dry plate. She placed it in the cabinet and turned to look back at the girl "Would you like to hang out for a bit? Maybe watch a movie in my room?" Lexa looked at her watch. "Umm.. yeah, ok. I have time for a movie. I have to get home before 9 though." Clarke smiles. "Awesome. Don't worry, I'll get you home before 9. Come on."
She leads the girl upstairs and into her bedroom. While Clarke grabs her laptop of her desk and begins opening up Netflix, Lexa begins walking around her room, admiring all the canvas hanging on the walls.
"Wow. This is amazing." Lexa gasps as she stares a one of Clarke's galaxy paintings.
Clarke smiles. "Surprised I can do more than superheroes and safari animals huh?"
Lexa head snaps to look at the blonde. "What? No, that's not -" she was interrupted by Clarke's laughter. "I'm just messing with you Lexa. Thank you for the compliment. That one is one of my favorites."
"It's beautiful. I love the stars."
"Me too." Clarke smiles before patting the place beside her on the bed. "Come on, come sit. Let's pick something to watch." Lexa walks over and sits down, back against the headboard. Once settled, she looks over to Clarke's bedside table and smiles. Sitting there, in a simple frame is a familiar Wonder Woman drawing. She lightly traces her fingertips over it.
"How about this one?" Lexa turns her attention back at Clarke who is pointing at a random movie on the screen.
"Sure."
Clarke hits play and leans back. She can't help to notice how her shoulder is touching Lexa's. She also can't help to notice that Lexa doesn't seem to mind.
About an hour into the movie, Clarke realizes she hasn't really been paying attention. She's been recounting the events past few days and how so much has happened in such a short period of time. Her thoughts eventually settled on today and how it started out as one of the worst days of her life but ended up being ok. She believes she's done more healing in the past 12 hours than she had the past 5 days. Clarke knew it was all because of the girl sitting beside her and she relished in the closeness of her right this second.
"Hey Lexa?" She says softly
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for coming today. For being there for Charlotte and… for me."
Lexa smiles and places her hand on the blondes thigh. "Of course."
Clarke moves her hand to the hand on her leg and begins to lightly touch the hem of Lexa's sleeve.
"I haven't forgotten about your arms." She says carefully, looking up to meet green eyes. "We still need to talk about that."
Lexa sighs and instinctively begins pulling her sleeves down further, her gaze moving away from Clarke's eyes and towards the galaxy painting on the wall.
"I know."