Clarke is tapping her pencil lightly on the table to the rhythm of the song playing on her iPod. She's trying to make sense of this math problem in front of her for the past 20 minutes but she's exhausted. She's been in the library every extra minute she has trying to get caught up on the school work she ignored after Charlotte's death.
"Trigonometry is useless" she thinks. She continues to stare at the equation when her concentration is interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. She jumps slightly at the touch but her shoulders quickly ease when she looks up and meets her favorite pair of green eyes. She takes her headphones out and smiles.
"Hey, sorry I scared you. I tried to get your attention but you couldn't hear me." Lexa said pointing at the earphones.
"Don't worry about it. Sometimes I get into a zone and nothing else seems to exist."
Lexa smiles. "Mind if I join you?"
"Please." Clarke says as she clears some of her papers off the small table to make room for Lexa's books.
"Thanks."
Once they're both settled, a smile is shared before both of their attentions are back to their work. Clarke begins to put her earphones back in when she suddenly stops and looks up at Lexa. Feeling eyes on her, Lexa looks up at the blonde curiously. She watches as Clarke places her iPod in the middle of the table and takes one of the earbuds in her hand, shyly lifting it up and offering it to Lexa. The brunette smiles at the gesture before accepting the white earbud. She places it in her left ear as the blonde placed hers in her right. The indie folk music fills their ears as they get to work.
They sat working for about in an hour. Their comfortable silence eventually interrupted by Clarke triumphantly closing her math book. "Thank god" she sighs.
Lexa looks up to her and smiles. "All done?"
Clarke nods and rubs her eyes. "Just in time too, my eyes were starting to go crossed. I hate Trig."
"Yeah, it's the worst" Lexa agrees as she closes her book.
"You done too?"
"Yeah... for now anyway. I actually wanted to talk to you about something." Her voice is hesitant which automatically causes Clarke to worry.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing bad, I promise. I just...uh... have an idea. It's about the fundraiser for the art program."
Clarke lets out a small sigh of relief. "Ok. Let's hear it."
Lexa sits a bit straighter in her seat. "Well, what if we do it in honor of Charlotte? Dedicate the art room to her. I already talked to Mr. Kane and he agreed that we can rename the room itself. I was thinking "Charlotte's Studio". What do you think?"
Clarke doesn't say anything at first. She stares directly in nervous, green eyes and smiles brightly. Everytime Clarke thinks she can't like this girl more, she does something like this.
"Clarke?" Her voice sounds nervous.
"I LOVE the idea. It's perfect, Lexa."
Lexa leans back in her chair and let's out a breath. "Great."
Clarke glances at the clock above Lexa's head. "We better get to the center. Want a ride?" Lexa nods affirmatively and they pack up their belongings and head out of the library.
The center was busy that day and it was 7:30 by the time Clarke and Lexa locked up the doors for the night. Lexa told Clarke she didn't have to wait for her but the blonde had been insistent. Besides, it's become routine for Clarke to drive Lexa home in the evenings and she didn't want to miss an opportunity to spend more time alone with her.
"Do you wanna come over for dinner? It's Taco Tuesday at the Griffin household." Clarke asked as she began driving. She glanced at the brunette and noticed her checking her watch.
"Thanks, but I can't. It's already getting late and I need to get home before 9." Her voice is soft with a hint of sadness.
Clarke sighs. "Right… Home by 9." Clarke grips the steering wheel. She looks towards the brunette to find her glancing out of the window, mindlessly playing with her sleeves again. "Enough is enough" Clarke thinks to herself as she turns the car. Lexa turns to her confused as to why they've changed directions. "Clarke?" She didn't receive an answer as Clarke pulls the car into the park and shuts off the engine.
"Why are we here?"
Clarke unbuckles her seatbelt so she can turn her body to look directly at the brunette. "I'm done avoiding the subject we've been avoiding. We need to talk."
Lexa slouches in her seat. "Clarke…"
Sensing an argument, Clarke interrupts her. "Lexa, no more excuses. We need to talk. You're being hurt by someone. Now I have some assumptions on who it could be but you need to talk to me. Let me help you." She knows she sounds desperate but she's been losing sleep over this because she's been so worried about this girl.
"You can't fix everything Clarke. You don't understand."
Clarke sighs. "Then help me understand."
"It's a long story..."
"I have time."
Lexa looks out the window defeated. She knows she's not going to win this argument so she unbuckles her seat belt and opens the door. Clarke soon follows her out of the car and they find themselves walking towards a familiar bench.
When they sit, Clarke tries to make eye contact with the girl beside her but green eyes are fixated on the night sky. Clarke looks up as well, sending a silent prayer into space that whatever it is that Lexa is about to tell her, that she would be able to help her friend. A moment later, a soft voice breaks the silence.
"My parents died in a car crash when I was 3. I don't really remember them." Lexa moves her eyes from the sky to look into the blue one's next to her.
"They were both only children and both sets of grandparents had died before I was born. There wasn't anyone else to take me in, so I got placed into the system. At first, it was fine. I mean, being only three there was a lot I didn't understand about the whole situation. I remember social workers telling me not to worry, that'd I'd be adopted soon. 'In matter of days', one said." She scoffs. "Well, days became weeks, weeks became months and months became years... I was 6 when I gave up hope of ever being adopted. People want babies, not toddlers or school-aged children. Definitely not teenagers." She shrugs her shoulders and sits back, looking back up at the sky. "It's okay though, I've accepted it. This life, one in the system, it's all I've ever really known. I've had dozens of foster parents... some good, some bad. I've lived in group homes - those are a nightmare."
Lexa takes a deep, shaky breath. She can feel the tears filling her eyes. She's never really talked to anyone else about this and now she remembers why. She hates feeling weak.
She must of been silent for longer than she realized because suddenly she feels an encouraging hand on her thigh. She wills herself to face the blonde before she continues.
"The place I'm living at now is the worst. I've never experienced anything like it. Um… my foster mom, Nia, she is… uh… well, she is not a very pleasant person." She watches as Clarke's eyes narrow and jaw clenches.
"I hate it there, but I don't want to go back to go back to a group home either. I'm stuck. That's why I work so hard and so much. I need to save money so I can get emancipated and honestly, I don't mind working a lot. The more I work, the less time I'm at that house. As long as I'm back by 9 every night, Nia usually leaves me alone...Usually" She's pulling at her sleeves again. "Unless she's been drinking. If she's drunk I become her favorite ashtray."
A single tear falls and she quickly turns her face away from Clarke wiping it away. Clarke is fighting to keep her breathing steady and the tears that formed in her own eyes from falling. She needed to be strong for Lexa.
"Lexa?" The brunette doesn't turn. "Lexa, please look at me." Clarke tries again. When she finally does turn around Clarke feels a tug in her chest at seeing Lexa so upset.
"Lexa, this is NOT ok. What she's doing is wrong, not to mention illegal. Listen, we can talk to my parents and -"
"No! Clarke, please, promise me you won't say anything to anyone. Nia said she would block my emancipations proceedings if I report her. Please, I just need a little more time."
"She's hurting you, Lex." The nickname fell out of her mouth before she could stop it. Clarke couldn't keep a couple tears from falling onto her cheeks as she reached and took Lexa's hand in her own. She was relieved when Lexa gripped her hand back. "She's hurting you."
"I'm ok. I can handle it."
Clarke shook her head. "I don't like this. We should tell someone." Lexa squeezed her hand tighter. "I just need a little more time to save money. Please Clarke… Please."
Clarke looks away from her eyes and down to their joined hands. She takes her free hand gently runs it down the girl's arm, lightly tugging the sleeve when she reaches the bottom.
"Ok. I won't tell anyone. You can trust me."
Lexa lets out a sigh of relief. "Thank you… And I do trust you, Clarke." Clarke offers her a sad smile. "I know how hard that is for you."
Lexa wipes her eyes again before she looks down at her watch. "It's 8:40" she says sadly looking up at Clarke. The blonde nods and stands up, pulling Lexa up with her. With a reassuring squeeze they walk back to the car.
When Clarke got home after dropping Lexa off, she sat in her driveway trying to process what she had just learned. Her head and heart were both aching as she was agonizing over what to do. She knows what she should do, she should talk to her parents. But she can't, she promised Lexa she wouldn't tell anyone and she refuses to break that girl's trust. But...
"I can't leave you in danger, Lexa." she whispers to herself, leaning her head on the steering wheel. "I don't know what to do."
Clarke shakes her head and checks the mirror to make sure it's not too obvious that she had been crying. She didn't need her parents asking questions tonight.
She'll figure out what to do in the morning.
Clarke wouldn't have until morning to figure it out.