Fearless
Lily tightened her hold around James, as if she were strong enough to root him to the spot, so he wouldn't be able to leave. She buried her head in his chest, trying to hold back the threatening tears.
"No," she whispered. "You can't go. Or at least let me come with you."
But she knew that in her condition, James would never allow her to come. How could she chase after Death Eaters when it would mean that the child she was carrying would be under huge risk? Not to mention, her enormous belly would slow her down, greaten the chances of a mistake being made. At this suggestion, James' expression hardened.
"Not a chance," he said. "If you think I'm going to let you and our child take the risk of–"
"I've fought just as many Death Eaters as you have, James!" she exclaimed. "Dumbledore's being ridiculous, making you–"
"I volunteered!" said James. "I can't just sit around while You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters are going around killing everyone!"
"And I can't sit around waiting for you to return, when you might not even…" Her voice broke.
James tilted her face towards him, searching her face. Then his brown eyes found her green, and his expression softened.
"I'll be back in time for dinner," he promised. "What are we having?"
"Oh, maybe just some spaghetti," she said, her voice layered thick with irony. "Come on, James! Please. Just this once, could you stay with me? Every time you leave, it's like I–"
"In the past four months, I've only gone three times," he said. "Three times! While the others are all risking their lives… Lily, you know I can't stand it!"
"Please, James," she said quietly, desperately. "Stay with me."
"I'm not changing my mind, Lily," he said. "And I've got to leave now."
"Five minutes," she pleaded.
For what? To try and persuade him, as she had been doing since the Order meeting one week ago, to stay with her? James was never going to change his mind, because he would never back out on a promise. He was like that. That was one of the reasons Lily had fallen in love with him.
"One minute," he finally said. "And counting."
Lily nodded fervently. If that was all she had, if this was her final minute with James, she would grasp it with everything she had. She leaned into him, on her tiptoes, and pressed her lips against his. He responded eagerly, his hands curling into her red, red hair, and tugged her closer. His mouth left hers, trailing burning kisses on the slash of one of her cheekbones, then down the line of her jaw, and down, down, down until he reached the swell of her belly. He splayed his hands on the bump and kissed it softly. He looked up at Lily.
"Boy or girl, do you think?" he asked.
"A boy," she said at once. "Just like you, only not as annoying."
He smiled, albeit somewhat sadly. "Ha, ha."
"A brilliant Quidditch player, just like his dear old dad," said Lily.
"No," said James. "A girl like you. Beautiful. Outstandingly clever."
"Boy."
"Girl."
"Boy."
"Well, boy or girl, it'd better have your eyes," said James. "They're the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."
"And your lovely charm," joked Lily.
"Which got me you," said James.
"Only took, what, six and a half years?" said Lily.
"Six and a quarter," corrected James.
She laughed softly. "With the rest of our lives before us, does it really matter?"
For all she knew, though, the rest of their lives could end in a day, a week, a month, a year. For James, this could be his last day. Her hands, too, found her stomach, and she cradled it protectively.
"Your eyes," repeated James, "to make her beautiful."
"He'll be beautiful anyway," said Lily.
"The most beautiful child ever," agreed James.
"Don't we sound like every other parent," said Lily.
"We are not every other parent, Lily Potter," he said firmly. "We are the best, most attractive–"
"Ha!" burst out Lily.
"Well we are," said James defensively. "You are, as we have already covered, the most beautiful woman on the planet, and I'm jaw-droppingly handsome…"
"Wouldn't go that far," said Lily.
A pause. "That's two minutes. I need to go."
Her hands gripped his. "No."
He pried off her fingers slowly, kissing the knuckle of each one. "Yes," he murmured against her skin. "I've got to."
"You don't…"
"Listen to me, Lily," he said, suddenly fierce, almost glaring at her. "I'm coming home, I swear it."
"But I'm afraid–"
"Well I'm not," he said. "Knowing that you and our son or daughter are here, waiting for me, I'm going to face those Death Eaters and I'm going to be fearless, Lily. Fearless."
He stood up abruptly and kissed her long and hard, then broke away, turning and striding swiftly out of the door.