Hearts of Lions and Metal Men

Well kids, here it is… Lamb's POV… and let me just say… I didn't even realize the significance of my Wizard of Oz reference (in the title) until now. And that's sad. But… onward!

90909

You call Veronica and leave her a vaguely annoyed message, then can't stop yourself from adding that she should come home. You're determined not to be an ass anymore, even if it kills you (but not if it kills her).

The 40 hours you wait for the tip are the longest of your life.

But then it comes, and you know where she is, and you and Logan break every speeding law known to man on the way to the little Texan motel that housed your little slip of a girl.

And you gasp when you see her. You haven't seen this girl in over a week, and the change is terrifying. She is much thinner than you remember, and her skin is tight and pale, littered with unexplained bruises that probably come from being in a constant daze and running into things. The bruises under her eyes, however, are from lack of sleep, and it kills you to think that she stays up at night torturing herself.

"Veronica?" you ask, softly, and she just looks dully through you, like her tired mind can't quite process your words. You try again.

"Veronica, sweetie, it's Sheriff Lamb. Logan is here too. We've come to bring you home."

She still doesn't respond to you, just sits curled in on herself, rocking, and you wonder if this means you'll have to carry her. You should have known better though… Logan Echolls probably wouldn't let anyone else touch her right now, not with the state she's in.

Then a thought strikes you. "When's the last time you ate, Mars?" you ask, and you can't quite manage to make your voice as biting as it should have been.

She doesn't respond at all, doesn't even seem to know you're there. But when Logan touches her shoulder, she leans in to him, and wraps her arms around his torso, burying her face in his chest.

Logan pulls her into his lap, and hands you the keys to his beloved Xterra. He doesn't let go of Veronica until he has to, to buckle his own seatbelt. You don't think you see him let go of her again.

90909

After that first time – "Why don't you go see the Wizard, ask him for a little backbone?" she became a hard, spitfire bitch. You like it – to be honest, if she wasn't young enough to be your sister, it'd probably turn you on (except that her eyes sometimes seem hazel in the right light, and she's still about the same size Mandi was, the last time you saw her).

The next time you saw her, she had evidence on the Lilly Kane case. It was before Abel Koontz confessed, but after you'd found "evidence" that pointed to someone other than the Kanes, so you ignored her (like you wouldn't have if you had no evidence at all… yeah right).

Instead of listening to her, you just interrupted and smirked. "Why don't you go see the Wizard, Mars? Ask him for some help minding your own damn business."

For a second, she looked ready to cry, and you had to laugh, because your only other option was to join her in tears.

But your laugh saved her. Her head snapped up, and she glared at you.

"My best friend was murdered! And all you can do is fucking allude to the Wizard of fucking Oz? Maybe you're the one who needs to see the Wizard, Lamb. Ask him for a heart."

It was ironic, really, that she chose that particular barb. There was no possible way that she'd actually thought it would hurt you, not with the person you'd let her think you'd become, yet she chose it anyway. And adding to the irony?

Of all possible things she could have said, this was the one that hurt the most.

Because Mandi used to have nightmares about the Tin Man. He was her least favorite character. You found her diary two months after her death, and upon reading it, realized that this was what she called your father. And at the time, you couldn't help but agree.

Now it just makes you sick to think about it, and every time you hear Veronica mutter your new nickname under her breath, you choke on the bile.

90909

You make it back to Neptune, and you are relived. A little too soon, it would seem, when she freaks out the next morning and runs away. You and Logan find her, of course – you found her in fucking Texas, you'll find her on the goddamn beach – but not before she gets burnt to a crisp.

You really wish she'd been wearing more than shorts and tank top when she left, but once you see how red she is, you just start wishing she hadn't left.

You rush her to the hospital, and use your badge to get her in quickly. She's given fluids and a bath, and sent home with several prescriptions.

That night is the only night Logan waits to give her the pain medication until she asks for it. She wakes up screaming for her father to help, that she's in here, and you don't know what 'in here' means, but then Wallace explains to you about her face-off with Aaron Echolls, and your blood boils with anger and guilt and shame.

Logan goes into her room to comfort her, and it's quiet for a mere second before the screaming starts again, this time more heart-wrenchingly terrible than before. You and Wallace exchange a glance and rush to the bedroom.

Veronica is wrapped in Logan's arms on the bed, rocking herself and sobbing "He'd dead, he's dead!"

You barely manage to make it to the toilet.

90909

Your first foster father was a quiet, sad man, who never really smiled. His own wife and little boy had been killed in a car accident only a few years before, and he never really got over losing them. Fostering was something his wife had wanted to do, back when they were younger, and much happier, and they'd registered and finished the process not long after their own son's third birthday. They fostered two little girls before you, but the girls ended up back with their own parents, and you don't ask about them anymore after that, because thinking about them makes you see red on the carpet, and you've never been able to clean it up.

You were the third child he'd fostered on his own, the other two had also been teen boys, and both stayed with him until they turned 18 and aged out. One boy, the most recent, still visited the man, but the other lived overseas, and called and wrote, but had no way to come back.

Both boys tried to console you, but you shrugged it off. You missed Mandi. You wanted Mandi back. And for the first time since you were ten, you cried yourself to sleep, asking for your mother.

You didn't get either one.

You were by far, the hardest case your social worker had ever had. You were also the most difficult child your foster father (call me George, that'll make it easier on us both) had ever had.

One night, after you got sent to bed early because you were fighting at school again, he came into your room and sat by the bed.

"What do you want, Donald? What is it that you want from your life?"

You could only think of one thing, and it probably made you an asshole to say it, but hey, he asked you. "I want my sister back."

He snorted, but it wasn't mean or derisive. It was full of aching sadness, a grief only a parent who's lost a child could understand, and you thought it was a grief similar enough to your own for you to get him.

"Maybe you should ask the Wizard, Donald. Because if he can't bring them back, no one can."

It was a joke, one between him and his dead 7 year old son. Something about the boy being obsessed with the Wizard of Oz, and always insisting on asking the Wizard for anything he wanted.

A child's joke spoken in grief and comfort that burned a hole in your chest.

And, apparently, in George's chest too, because that night, he had a heart attack, and you were moved to a new home. They never told you whether or not he lived.

You never do find out who exactly the Wizard was supposed to be.

90909

When Logan Echolls calls you early in the morning, you already know it's because of Veronica. And you know this, because you've already woken up, and it's thundering outside, and nothing ever goes well for you when there's thunder.

It was storming the day your sister died, and the first time your father hit your mother, and the day your mother killed herself, and the night the only foster parent you ever loved had a heart attack (you still don't know whether he survived that or not). And since this is SoCal, and that was SoCal, the night Veronica Mars tries to kill herself on Dog Beach is about the fifth time you've ever seen it storm in your life (sometimes you wonder if it's really six… did it storm the first time your father went into Mandi's bed?)

But this is a thought you quickly shake off, in favor of finding Veronica, and stopping whatever is about to happen to her. Which you already know isn't something good, but when you get the second call from Wallace, telling you that Keith's gun and Veronica's pills are missing, you nearly break the gas pedal in your old crown vic.

Logan is wrapping her up in a dry coat when you reach them; apparently she'd decided to take a swim. You see the empty pill bottle and almost empty bottle of alcohol, and can't stop the exclamation from passing your lips.

You barely make it to the hospital in time, and this isn't something you wanted the doctors to tell you, whether or not it was true.

The thought of losing her makes you shake, because you already knows what it feels like to lose your baby sister.

90909

You made it a point not to tell people about your family. Hardly anyone knew anything about your past, and this included Veronica. Her father, however, had seen your file. You knew it, and he knew you knew, but it wasn't something that really came up a lot between you. Before he hired you, he mentioned it exactly once, and then it was only one single question.

"Don Lamb… are you going to let past experience with abusive parents color your judgment when we're in the field?"

"Not at all, sir,"

And that was that.

Some nights, you tried to tell yourself that this was the reason you didn't believe Jake Kane had anything to do with Lilly's death. You liked to believe that you were so clouded by your lack of judgment that you betrayed the only father you'd ever have, and the new sister you'd been given.

But really, you knew better. Part of it was peer pressure and part of it was that you really thought Keith Mars had lost it.

Mostly, though? It didn't really matter what your reasons were. They would never be good enough for the people who mattered.

90909

She is on life support for 27 hours, and it's the longest 27 hours of your life. You drag Logan back to the apartment to bathe and change, while Leo watches her and a nurse makes sure she stays under while you're gone.

After you get back (less than an hour later), you and Logan stay by her side, talking to her, and praying to a god neither of you have believed in for quite some time, that she will be okay.

She survives, and when they take her off the machines, and she breathes on her own, the weight that's lifted off your shoulders stuns you.

Then they wean her off of the medication again, and the nightmares start. It's like a knife in your gut every time she whimpers "Daddy!" and neither you nor Logan can wake or console her.

And for two days, she floats between consciousness and her own nightmare realm, and all you can do is watch her and whisper the same damn platitudes that never worked before.

On the third day, she opens her eyes.

90909

The day the bus crashed, all you can think of is Veronica. You want to see her, safe and sound, and preferably laughing at you for believing her latest hoax.

But when you arrive on scene, she's not among the students and you get worried.

Then the Navarro kid approaches you, looking mildly amused, and that pisses you off already. But not more than the fact that he obviously can read you so damn well, as is evidenced by his next statement.

"She's in the limo… the driver and Kane decided it was a bad idea to let the girls stay out here and watch everything. A couple of them passed out, got all hysterical."

You knew without asking that Veronica wasn't one of those. But you also knew she'd be taking it hard. You wanted to ask him, but you didn't want to waste anymore time finding her, so you ran to the limo, and ordered everyone out. One of the deputies took down names, and your team would visit them each later. But right then, you needed to talk to Veronica. Despite Liam's order, you needed to know she was okay.

You climbed into the limo, a little peeved that Veronica also seemed to know you well enough that she knew not to get out. But before you could say anything to her, she groaned and rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Instantly, you were on alert, trying to see evidence of bruises or cuts in the shade of the limo. There was nothing, and just as you heaved a sigh of relief, she started talking.

"Dammit, Lamb, no I had nothing to do with this! Just because –"

"Because what, Veronica?" you asked, cruelly. "Because trouble follows you around like a love-sick puppy? Because every time anything criminal happens in this town, it seems to revolve around you and your narrow escapes? Maybe you really do need to go see the Wizard, Veronica. Ask him how the fuck to stay out of trouble!"

Once you knew she was okay, you were angry. The adrenaline rush coupled with her swift attack, and added to that the fact that you couldn't even get angry at her for either one, left you reeling.

But then you realized where you were and who you were talking to, and you waited for her to retaliate, to hit you with a zinger that would make you clutch your chest and gasp.

But for the longest moment, she is silent. Then, as soon as she opens her mouth, you interrupt her.

"Go home, Veronica. Someone will be by to take your statement within the week."

With a wry, angry smile, she nodded and climbed from the vehicle.

"Sure thing, Tin Man."

And you sat on your hands so you didn't grab at your aching chest.

90909

Almost as soon as her little body is ready to handle it, you and Logan arrange for a vacation. You and the Fennels and Logan will take her out on his yacht for ten days, and after that, everything will magically get better. You're personally not so certain about the second part of this plan, but you think it's better than nothing, so you just nod.

But as Logan carries her onto the boat, and you see the look in her tired eyes, and it looks enough like hope for you to believe, if only for a second, that everything will be okay.