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Chapter 6: Oh Darth, Darth, Wherefore Art Thou, Darth?

With an inexplicable energy, Leia woke up the minute the last game finished, and she launched out of Palpatine's lap like the ancient Sith Lords were after her minuscule soul. Rubbing ruefully at his numb leg muscles, Palpatine really didn't like the gleam in her large eyes as she scrambled to the floor.

Evidently, neither did Kenobi. "Well now," he said brightly, "It looks like it's time for bed, younglings."

His preventative measure fell flat. Leia shook her head, propping her hands on her hips. "Wanna 'venture first."

Kenobi's brows furrowed as he tried to decipher her intention.

"Bit late for an adventure, don't you think?" Palpatine hedged, and the two adults exchanged cautious glances.

"I wanna watch a holovid," she said.

Luke lit up from where he lay draped over the table and game. "Me too!"

"Well, Chancellor?" Obi-Wan Kenobi looked at him, a faint gleam of satisfaction in his calm Jedi eyes. The Jedi was clearly on the hunt for revenge.

It did not require foresight to see the outcome of this moment, so Palpatine folded and counted his losses, pointing Leia to his state-of-the-art Holonet display and speaker system in his living room. The tiny Skywalker quickly pounced on the remote and flipped through a list of available entertainment, mostly historical films and documentaries. Palpatine considered himself a well-grounded individual.

While Leia checked the system and Luke packed up Sweetland with Obi-Wan, Palpatine pulled out his private comlink and surreptitiously checked his messages. Three from Sarcev Quest (the last ending in a rather desperate plea – was that a woman's voice in the background?), seven from Sly Moore asking for meeting confirmations, and two from Pestage. Those two puzzled him, as he had never before heard of a Wookie's fur falling out due to an allergic reaction to Naboo blossom wine. He would have to rethink his diplomatic gifts to Kashyyyk in the future.

He had just begun to compose a reply to his operative when Leia announced the winning holovid.

The story was romantic and cloying, and something that Palpatine, normally a patron of the arts, thoroughly despised. Unfortunately, it was a classic, and Leia quickly fell in love with the bright coloring of the holovid's poster. "Sith and Jedi" revealed a scandalous love story between two members of the opposing factions back during the time of the Old Republic. The main love triangle developed amid a backdrop of prejudice, daring lightsaber fights (with completely unrealistic choreography, Palpatine sneered), and dark comedy.

Fanciful drivel, Palpatine thought, but the work had been translated into plays, operas, and holovids all over the galaxy and was considered one of the finest pieces of literature to come from the Core Worlds. And it did contain impressive work with the language and style. The younglings might not be harmed from a bit of exposure to high culture.

The holovid would have been a perfect success too, allowing Palpatine to escape to his work for a blessed hour or two, if Leia and Luke had not insisted that Palpatine and Kenobi watch it with them. Palpatine found himself on the couch next to Kenobi, holding a bundle of squirming Leia in his lap and wishing he could be anywhere else. Even in the Jedi Council chambers making a report to that glaringly poor excuse of a Jedi master, Mace Windu. Next to him, Kenobi stared resignedly at the holoprojector as it warmed up, the other twin in his own arms, though unlike Leia the boy was contently curled in the crook of the Jedi's arm.

The holovid passed quickly, full of explosions and proclamations of love. He grinned when the main couple kissed, because Leia sent up a baleful sound of disgust each time and pulled the wide drape of his sleeve over her eyes. Already she is learning. Luke just stared harder at the screen. Not hopeless, but close to it. He snuck a glance at Kenobi and almost snickered when he saw how intently the Jedi master was watching while attempting to appear uninterested.

With a small break for snacks and drinks and the refresher, the film wrapped up an hour and a half later. Palpatine looked at the holoclock over his display. The night was no longer young.

He opened his mouth to announce bedtime, and Luke leapt up from Kenobi's lap.

"Let's be them!" The tiny boy shouted with a grin. "I wanna be Darth Amor. Leia, you be Mas'ser Dessy."

Leia grinned and wriggled down from the couch. "Yeah! I wanna lightsaber! An' a happy ending!"

Palpatine sighed. So much for picking up on the finer points of culture. The deaths of Darth Amor and Master Destiny had been the point of the entire production. Younglings these days: all action and romance and no rational thought. However, this idea of Luke's might distract them sufficiently to –

Luke pointed a small finger at both of the men in turn. "Obi, you be Count Theed. Palpy, you be Dessy's cousin Ty."

A brash Jedi? Palpatine smothered a dry snicker. How delightful. If he had to suffer, at least he could enjoy himself with a few well-placed barbs. Kenobi's eyes widened in his pale face as Luke rummaged around in his travel bag and pulled out several toy lightsticks, pressing a bright green one into Palpatine's hand and giving Kenobi a blue one.

"Woe is me," Palpatine said, staring down at the small lightstick in his hand. "I am an impulsive, socially repressed young Jedi with an irrational, mindless hatred for my enemy that is going to get me killed."

Leia giggled from her newly claimed spot on top of the couch, the rather unimpressive "Jedi Temple."

Kenobi frowned. "That's not exactly portraying the Jedi in your usual benevolent light, Chancellor."

Palpatine offered a thin-lipped, innocent smile. "Merely playing the role I have been assigned, Master…Theed. It's the character."

Kenobi sighed. "This play is completely inaccurate and unfair to the reputation of the Jedi Order."

"No one is safe from high art, not even the Jedi," Palpatine told him, appreciating the small wince, and turned to Luke. "Now defend yourself, Darth Amor. I have slain your friend Sith and shall now destroy you."

"I'm gonna 'venge my friend!" Luke squealed with laughter – most unbecoming of a dignified Sith Lord – and darted forward, his lightstick clacking off the edge of Palpatine's and bouncing enthusiastically out of his small hands. Giggling, he chased it down the main hallway.

"Now that you mention it," Kenobi smiled as he watched Luke go. "I seem to recall a most interesting political cartoon on the Holonet this morning, regarding you and an old expression about the corruption of absolute power."

"I would not personally consider political cartoons as high art," Palpatine rejoined, voice shimmersilk smooth. "Perhaps we should see about getting you some exposure to authentic experiences."

"Oh," Obi-Wan said, his tone deceptively mild, "I've have quite enough authentic experiences to last me, particularly when it comes to politics and Core culture."

"Have you? I imagine it must be rather overwhelming to a Jedi's sensibilities," Palpatine offered a tight little smile as Luke launched back into sight with a tiny war cry. The Chancellor remained very careful, keeping his movements and reactions those of an older man entertaining a clumsy child. Yet even as he did, he gauged Luke's reaction time and foot stances, critiquing and evaluating. Anakin, have you taught him nothing? He's like a nest of gundarks tied together and going seven different directions. He was only three, but still. Some started earlier.

He couldn't very well give pointers now, not with Kenobi watching on the sidelines. And he couldn't defend himself indefinitely either. He dropped his guard.

"Bam!" Luke shouted without warning, his lightstick jabbing forward and poking Palpatine in the ribs. "You're dead, Jedi!"

"No!" Leia cried from her spot on the couch.

The Chancellor felt a twinge of satisfaction at the joy he felt from Luke and the despair from Leia. "So I am," he said, dropping the green lightstick and folding his arms in front of himself. "The Sith Lord has defeated me. How dreadful."

Leia's expression was quickly changing from horrified to indignant as she slid down from the couch and padded over to him. "But you don' die standing up," she told him when the "corpse" continued to remain on its own two feet. Palpatine glanced at her and then Luke; both stared and waited, expecting him to continue the game to its grisly end.

Kenobi's chuckle broke the long silence. "They're right, you know. Do you need help to the floor, 'Master Ty'?"

Palpatine glared. I could put a hole through your heart with my lightsaber in less than a second, pup. Don't patronize me. Instead, he smiled. "I suppose I can manage."

He sat down graciously on the plush carpet and was surprised when Leia reached out and shoved him insistently onto his back. She knelt over him and sniffed loudly. "Cousin! He killed you!" Then she leaned closer and stage-whispered, "Look more dead!"

Palpatine sighed. What, pray tell, am I supposed to do? He'd played dead several times during his apprenticeship, but the circumstances had been much more motivational then. Deadly space pirates, feuding clans, disappointed politicians… and blood made excellent camouflage, but blood tended to upset children. Leia poked him in the chest again, and so he went completely limp, rolling his eyes up in their sockets.

"Thas' better," she pronounced, satisfied. "Darth Amo', you killed him!"

Luke grinned. "That's 'cause we're secretly married! Now we gotta kiss!"

Leia's face scrunched up in pure horror. "What?! No! Ew! Boys have cooties!"

Luke grew very solemn and pointed at Obi-Wan Kenobi, who was quietly choking back his laughter. "It's me or Count Theed."

"Go kiss a wookie," Leia snarled.

Kenobi coughed and stepped forward. "Now, now, younglings, I think we should take it down a notch or two here."

From his place on the floor, Palpatine watched as the tiny, furious, and denied Darth Amor challenged the Count to a duel. It went much the same as before, and Kenobi soon joined him in death.

"So much for the Negotiator," Palpatine couldn't resist whispering.

Kenobi's glare lasted only a moment before it was eclipsed by Leia's. "Shhh! You're supposed to be dead. No talkin'!" Both adults looked properly chastened and fell silent.

Kiss temporarily forgotten, Luke exclaimed excitedly, "Now we kill ourselves!"

The little eyebrows shot high on her forehead. "Why?"

"For love!"

She thought for a long pause. Then: "Thas' stupid."

"It's the story," Luke protested, eying the two men on the floor. "Everybody dies."

"Then there wouldn' be a story," Leia retorted. She patted Palpatine's shoulder. "Sorry you died."

I'll manage somehow, I'm sure. The Chancellor watched her cross over to her despondent twin. No such platitudes for Master Kenobi, he noticed with a wry grin. From the sour look on Kenobi's face, he had also taken note.

Leia took her brother's hand. "Let's just go on more 'ventures, Luke. Don' need a dumb story."

For a moment after the twins skipped out of sight down the hall, the politician and Jedi remained in place, staring at the ceiling and studiously avoiding each other's gaze.

"What did we just experience?" Kenobi asked quietly.

Palpatine felt his lip curling with disgust and quickly changed it to a smile as he sat up. He had no intention of engaging the Jedi master in inane discussion. "It defies explanation, Master Kenobi. Let's leave it at that and speak no more of this."

Kenobi thought hard and stuck out his hand. "Agreed."

Palpatine shook it briefly with all the enthusiasm of a Muun accepting a tax audit. He would not admit that he felt a twinge in his back when he pulled himself off the floor. He certainly refused to acknowledge Obi-Wan Kenobi's insufferable smirk as the younger Jedi smoothly bounced back to his feet.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, so I admit it, I enjoy most of Shakespeare's works, but Romeo and Juliet isn't one of them. Poor "Count Paris" and "Tybalt…" I also rather want to adopt Leia, but then again she's a little scary already. ;) I have so enjoyed all your reviews, so thank you. Let me know what you guys thought of this latest chapter, and tune in next time for a bedtime story.