Hey all! It has been months since I have updated. I am sorry about that. I plan to get back writing this, plus some other things as well. I hope you all stick with me. :) As for the song - it is by my favorite singer in the world - Ray LaMontagne. Please if you get the chance - listen to the song while you read the chapter. .com/watch?v=b11Pp56FcuQ&feature=related
Puck splashed a bit of cool water on his face, trying to calm his growing nerves. This night was shaping up to be life changing. Puck knew you only got a few of those in a life time. He tried not to think of the other moment, but how can you forget the day your daughter was born? This was the largest venue he had played. Usually, Puck would play the local bars and low key clubs, but the opportunity came for something better.
It didn't matter what he was about to accomplish, Quinn was the first thing on his mind. She always pushed him to be great, and he wanted to thank her for it. Puck looked in the mirror – he never felt more like his 16 year old self. Quinn had the ability to bring back every feeling that he tried desperately to forget. Puck grabbed his newsboy cap; a way to change up his look, and he grabbed his guitar and headed out to the stage.
The room was dimly lit. Puck assumed they were trying to create some kind of ambiance. He rolled his eyes and began to get himself settled on the stage.
In the back of the room – Rachel Berry sat hidden behind a group of friends. She had just finished her last show of the night and needed a well deserved drink. Finn was supposed to be meeting her, but he never was on time. Rachel was not at this particular place by accident. She knew Noah Puckerman was playing and Rachel had to see it.
They hadn't seen one another in years, but Rachel was almost positive she saw Puck at one of her shows. She smiled at that. Puck would never admit to it, but she knew he was there. Underneath the surface – Noah was a real romantic. She always saw it – even in high school. Rachel knew that this show would be important, and someone had to be there to witness it.
She sent a quick text and then took another sip of her drink.
Sometimes the universe needed a bit of help.
Quinn was running through Time Square. Her blonde hair was disheveled and she broke a heel a few blocks back. Even though their last encounter had been disastrous – if Rachel Berry insisted she come – well Quinn knew it was damn important.
When Quinn finally made it to the venue she could barely breathe. Rachel was waiting at the door – making sure Quinn could get it. "Did you run here?" Rachel questioned as she pulled Quinn inside. "I didn't think you would take my text literally!"
Quinn huffed and sat down in the chair. "I think I made pretty good time."
"Uh – yeah!" Rachel said with a smirk.
Quinn wanted to tell Rachel about Shelby and Beth, but the lights dimmed before she had the chance to speak. The crowd clapped and cheered loudly – excited for the show they were about to see.
A single spotlight hit the center of stage and Quinn saw him. There he was a guitar in hand and completely vulnerable. In high school, Puck was a cocky son of a bitch, but when it came to bearing his feelings – he became shy and insecure.
"Uh – hey everyone," Puck began nervously. "I'm glad you could all come out and help support me."
Quinn clapped along with the rest of the audience. Puck began to strum the opening notes of his song – not explaining the meaning or the title. He was going to let the music speak for itself.
"There's just somethin about this hotel
Got me wishin' I was dead.
Got to get out of New York City,
Somewhere I can clear my head."
Quinn felt her chest tightened when he began to sing. This music – it was so different then what Puck use to play. Before, it was all about being a rock star – never about the beauty behind the song. Rachel gave Quinn's hand a tight squeeze. This night was going to be a tough one.
"I was just kickin' along the sidewalk,
No one looks you in the eye,
No one asks you how you doin',
Don't seem to care if you live or die."
She blinked back the tears. All this time she was concerned about her life, never thinking about what Puck might be going through. Quinn remembered the day Puck told her he was moving to New York. They were filing for divorce.
"I can't stand here anymore, Q." Puck told her. "I – I hate this place and what it has done to me."
Quinn regretted the way their reunion had started. She came to New York with optimism. There was a chance at happiness again, but Quinn ruined it. It was hard to not remember the bad times in their relationship. Now, Quinn had no problem admitting the good always outweighed the bad.
"I just got to get me somewhere,
Somewhere that I can feel free,
Get me out of New York City, son,
New York City's killin' me."
They could be free together, Quinn thought. Maybe after years apart and the chance to grow up – maybe they could be together? Quinn had to push that thought of her mind. She had tried with Puck plenty of times and it always ended the same. They would fight, scream, and then one of them would storm out. Quinn can remember the time she threw a plate at the wall – screaming at Puck. How could she have ever been that person?
"It was just outside of Nashville,
I met the woman of my dreams.
Sure would like to get to know her,
Maybe find out what it means."
Tears were streaming down Quinn's face. Rachel was holding her friend as they both cried together. They both knew the significance of this song. Rachel knew more then anyone why Nashville was so important.
Quinn wasn't sure where she was going. She had to get away. She drove and drove until Ohio was a distant memory. Something had happened and Quinn needed to escape. It was about 4 in the morning when she finally made it too Nashville, Tennessee. Quinn had never been anywhere but Ohio, so seeing a different state was a treat. The south was beautiful. Quinn sat in her car and watched the sun rise.
It wouldn't be long before Puck began to start searching. She knew he would find her. Somehow he always knew the places she would go. Quinn placed her hand on her flat stomach. This wasn't supposed to happen again. She wasn't ready.
Puck had begged for a baby – he wanted one so badly, but Quinn couldn't love another child yet. Somehow it still felt too soon. They were stupid once again. Quinn got caught up in a moment and forgot about protection and two months later – same place she was years ago.
After she read the positive pregnancy test all Quinn could think of doing was running. It was childish and stupid, but Quinn still felt like a lost child. Maybe this should be a good thing? A baby could bring so much good. Quinn quickly ignored that thought. A baby was the last thing she needed right now. Her relationship with Puck was unstable.
She had spent a few days in Nashville – just trying to think of a solution. There was no way she would go through with an abortion – and adoption – she had been down that road once before. Quinn cursed under her breath. This was not supposed to happen.
It was pouring when Quinn decided to head back home. She had made it just outside of Nashville when the weather became to much handle. Quinn pulled over on the side of the road and decided to wait out the storm. She couldn't stop crying. The same confliction she felt back in high school was coming back. Every part of her wanted this baby, but she knew it was impossible. Her life was not stable enough.
Quinn looked behind her to see another pair of headlights parked behind hers. She suddenly became nervous and made sure to check that all the doors and windows were locked. A few moments later there was a knock on her car window. Quinn slowly opened her eyes and saw Puck standing outside in the pouring rain.
She opened the door quickly and got out. At first, Quinn assumed he was going to be angry, but instead Puck swept her up in his arms, hugging her tightly. "I hate you so much, Q." He began to place dozens of kisses all over her face.
A loud crack of thunder broke Quinn out of her thoughts. "I'm pregnant."
Quinn saw his expression change into pure anguish. Puck was fighting the urge not to cry, but Quinn knew he had already been crying.
"I get so tired of all this concrete.
I get so tired of all this noise.
Gotta get back up in the country,
And have a couple drinks with the good ole' boys."
They were back in Ohio – neither one of them sure of what to do. Quinn knew that Puck wanted this baby more then anything in the world, but she wasn't sure if it was the right decision. Thankfully, he avoided talking about it and gave Quinn her space.
Work was a good distraction, but it kept Quinn exhausted. Waitressing was a shit job, but Quinn got lucky sometimes with tips. This wasn't going to be her life – she would get the money to go to school and get out of Ohio.
"I gotta get to work now." Quinn told Puck.
He stood up from the couch and gave Quinn a tight hug. "Be safe and try not to over work yourself."
Quinn hated how protective he could be. "I'll be fine."
Life could have been better, but Quinn never had the chance.
"I just got to get me somewhere,
Somewhere that I can be free,
Get me out of New York City, son,
New York City's killin' me."
It started with a pain and then the blood. Quinn could still remember the thought that went through her mind as she fainted to the floor. She did want this baby.
The face of the doctor telling her would never leave her mind. Puck's sob would never go away.
Quinn lost her baby and she never recovered.