"What did Indra say on the phone Lex?"

Lexa takes a deep, shaky breath. "She wanted to know if I had spoken to someone."

"Ok. Who?" Clarke hears Lexa sigh but she keeps her eyes locked on the girl's and waits patiently for her to answer.

"Anya… her name is Anya. She was my friend."

Clarke searches her brain, trying to remember if she knew of this Anya. But no, she had never heard Lexa mention that name before. She takes the brunette's hand in her own and squeezes it gently.

"Well, if she was your friend, why are you so upset?"

"We haven't talked in over a year… she uh… she's been in juvie." Lexa looks up to search Clarke's eyes. Clarke doesn't allow her face to falter even if inside her heart is beating a little faster. After a few moments, Lexa continues without being prompted.

"Indra told me she was released last week. Wanted to know if I had spoken to her. She says it's because she still had some of her things but I think she was checking to make sure I hadn't talked to her." Lexa pauses and sees Clarke's eyes narrow, asking an unspoken question."Indra doesn't think Anya is good for me to be around."

Clarke physically stiffens. She couldn't help it. Indra strikes her as a person who is a good judge of character. "Does Indra have a good reason to think that?"

Lexa shakes her head. "She thinks she does. But she doesn't know the whole story."

"Ok. Will you tell me the whole story?"

Lexa agreed to tell Clarke the story but didn't say anything else the rest of lunch. Now they were in the car driving to the AYRC and Clarke was trying to be patient, but she's genuinely concerned. She doesn't know anything about this Anya person except that Indra doesn't think she's good for Lexa and the fact that she was out of juvie visibly upset her girlfriend. She needs the brunette to talk to her because her mind is running wild with scenarios about this girl she'd rather not think about.

As soon as she parked the car, Clarke spoke frankly. "You're not in any danger are you?"

Lexa immediately turns her head to the blonde and looks into her eyes. She smiles sadly when she sees the concern in her girlfriend's face. "No Clarke. Anya would never hurt me. Come on, let's go inside and talk."

Clarke nods and follows Lexa out of the car and into the center. The kids shouldn't arrive for another half hour so Lexa grabs the blonde's hand and leads her to her small office. After shutting the door behind them, Lexa sits on top of her desk and motions for Clarke to sit in the chair in front of her. Once seated, Clarke looks up expectantly to green eyes.

Lexa takes a deep breath before beginning. "What I'm about to tell you, no one but me and Anya know." Her green eyes search the blue one's in front of her. Clarke nods, understanding the importance of what Lexa is about to tell her. She can see the internal struggle in her girlfriend's eyes and wishes there was something she could do to ease her worries. When she sees tears forming again she puts her hand on the girl's knee.

"Lex?"

"You promise you won't hate me?" her voice cracks.

The question shocks the blonde. She doesn't hesitate to take Lexa's hand in her own, grasping it firmly. "I could NEVER hate you Lexa Woods. Ever."

Lexa nods and laces her fingers with Clarke. Gripping her tightly while she lets out a shaky breath.

"I met Anya a little of over 2 years ago. We were placed in the same group home at the time and we instantly connected. Both of us had been in the system since we were 3 and we've shared a lot of the same experiences growing up. We just got each other, ya know. She's like the big sister I never had." She pauses, allowing herself to take another deep breath. Her eyes leave Clarke's and she stares at their joined hands while she continues.

"Um, at the time we met, I was not in a good place. My first ever girlfriend had recently broken my heart. I was a mess and to ease the pain, I started making a lot of bad choices…" tears begin to freely fall down her face. She feels Clarke moves up off the chair and sit next to her on the desk. She doesn't speak. Just gently puts her arm around her, offering her unspoken support to continue.

"I starting using. It was pills mostly but I would try anything I could get my hands on. Anything that could numb the ache in my chest."

Lexa's heart was beating fast. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, afraid to open them and face her girlfriend. It took a couple minutes, but eventually she worked up enough courage to nervously look over to the blonde beside her. Once she found Clarke's eyes, she searched them for disappointment. For hatred or disgust. But she didn't find anything like that. All she saw were the same caring, compassionate eyes she's become accustomed to staring at. The arm around her tightened, holding her closer. It gave her confidence to continue, knowing that this next part was an even worse admission.

"Anya had been trying to get me clean for months. But I wouldn't listen. We'd fight about it all the time… I was awful to her when I was high. She never gave up though. And she uh… she saved my life..." her hands were shaking and lips trembling. "One night, I just had enough. I couldn't handle the heartache anymore. I didn't want to feel unwanted anymore… I wanted the pain to go away permanently." she briefly pauses, eyes fixated again on her lap. "Anya found me moments after I swallowed every pill I had. She forced her fingers down my throat and held my hair while I emptied the contents of my stomach. She didn't yell at me. She didn't say anything. She just cleaned my mess and held me until I fell asleep. She saved my life."

Lexa was sobbing now, trying to catch her breath. Clarke leaned over and kissed the girl's temple, "Breathe baby."

This new information broke Clarke's heart in ways she didn't even know were possible. She just continued holding Lexa as tight as she could. She wiped as many tears off the brunette's cheek as she could before she quickly brushed her own tears away. Not wanting to Lexa see them. She needed to be strong for her. They sat there embraced until Lexa's breathing steadied and she began speaking again.

"I wish I could say that that was the end of it. That I had stopped using, but I didn't. I convinced Anya I did but I couldn't... The group home director had been suspecting something was going on for a while, but she couldn't prove anything. I was really good at hiding and lying… One day, she came into mine and Anya's room with a cop and they begin searching. It didn't take them long to find my stash of pills." Lexa's head hung down in shame.

"Anya was shocked. I could see the hurt in her eyes when the cop found it. The cop was yelling, asking whose it was… and then… then she…" she was gasping between sobs again. "Then Anya told them they were hers... and I didn't do anything."

Lexa angrily stood up off the desk and wiped her tears away. "I just stood there Clarke. Even when the cops put Anya in handcuffs and dragged her away... I just STOOD there." Lexa pauses to catch her breath. "I haven't spoken to her since that day. I've been so ashamed of myself… for letting her take the fall for what I did. For being weak and letting the pills run my life."

Clarke stares at her girlfriend and nods. This was a lot of information to process and not at all what she was expecting to hear. She stands and walks over to the upset girl and wraps her up in her arms. She holds her for a few minutes before pulling away and grasping her hands again. She looks deeply into Lexa's eyes and gently kisses her forehead. Clarke takes a deep breath. She had one big concern she needed an answer to.

"Lexa? Are you still using?"

Lexa shakes her head vigorously. "No Clarke. I swear to you. I haven't touched a single pill or any other drug since that day. The day after it happened I found a support group and started going to meetings in secret. Detoxing alone was rough but I got through it... I'm still not sure how."

Clarke let's out a sigh of relief and took Lexa's face in her hands. She leaned in to gently kiss the girl's lips. "Because you are unbelievably strong."

"No, Anya is strong. She saved my life… It's like she knew her doing what she did would kick my ass into gear."

"Well, that's what I hoped for."

The sound of the voice startled both Clarke and Lexa as they both turned their attention to the girl standing in the doorway.

"Anya?" Lexa gasps.

"May I come in?"

Lexa nods, ushering her in. Clarke is unsure what to do. Her instinct was to move a bit in front of Lexa to protect her but from the look on Anya's face, she didn't think she would need to do that. Clarke made a move to to walk away but is stopped by Lexa gripping her hand, pleading for her to stay.

Anya walk up to the blonde and extends her hand, "Anya." she says. Clarke meets her hand and shakes it, "Clarke." she replied. Anya nods and offers her a small smile before looking over to Lexa.

"Hi Lex."

Lexa stands silent, her tears are back. She's searching for the right words but settles on the simplest thing. "I'm sorry."

Anya smirks. "Good."

"Thank you." Lexa adds quickly.

"Thank you for getting your shit together."

Lexa hangs her head down. "Do you hate me?"

Anya takes a step closer to her. "No. I don't hate you Lex... I'm a little pissed you never tried to contact me."

"I'm sorry. I…" Lexa was interrupted by Anya waving a hand in front of her.

"Honestly Lexa. I'm happy that I'm actually able to be pissed at you. It sure as hell beats the alternative."

Lexa stares at her curiously, waiting for her to continue.

"When you didn't write or visit, I thought you spiraled further out of control… I was worried that when I got out, I'd be looking for a gravesite." Her voice is strong and unwavering. The weight of the words hit Clarke and Lexa like a ton of bricks.

Clarke watches as Lexa and Anya stare at each other. Sensing these two needed to talk, she turns to her girlfriend. "I'm going to give you two some time." She says almost like a question. Lexa smiles and nods, leaning over to kiss the blonde's cheek. Clarke returns a smile and with a brief nod to Anya she walks out of the office.

Once outside the door, Clarke takes a moment to briefly look back. She smiles when she says the two girls hugging.

Later that evening, Clarke and Lexa are laying on Lexa's bed, arms wrapped around one another.

"What a day." Lexa sighs

Clarke leans over to place a gentle kiss on the girl's lips. "I'd say so." she says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Lexa's ear. "Thank you for being honest with me today."

"I'm sorry if you're disappointed in me."

"Not even a little." Clarke states quickly and softly.

"I don't know how that could be. I'm disappointed in myself."

Clarke tightens her hold around her waist. "Lexa, we all make mistakes. But the way you've turned your life around is beyond amazing and you should be proud of yourself. I am so proud of you babe." Clarke reaches her hand down and laces their fingers together. "I know you regret things with Anya, but from the look of it today, it seems like she's just happy you're ok."

"Yeah. I really thought she was going to hate me… But she actually wants to be a part of my life again Clarke."

Clarke smiles softly. "And that makes you happy?"

"Yeah. I've missed her."

"I think she missed you too."

Lexa shifts her body and snuggles closer to Clarke. Her head resting on the blondes chest. "Thank you for not leaving me."

"I told you I was staying the night." Clarke says, gently running her fingers through brown, wavy hair.

Lexa lightly shakes her head. "No. I mean, thank you for not leaving me after I told you about my past. I was afraid you'd run away after that. That you wouldn't feel the same way anymore"

Clarke gentle kisses the top of her head. "Lexa Woods, that could never happen. I like everything about you. The good and the bad because it's all those things that make you YOU. You never have to be afraid to tell me anything."

"I don't want to screw this up Clarke. I can't lose you."

Clarke gently places her hand on the girl's chin and lifts her head so she can lean down and kiss her. Lexa responds desperately. Her hand gripping the back of the blondes head, trying to bring her closer.

After a few moments, Clarke slowly breaks the kiss and looks down into green eyes. "You won't ever lose me. I'm not going anywhere."