A Better Idea
Chapter Twelve
In the misty pre-dawn hours Ennis awoke to find himself in his own bed, in his own trailer. He stretched as far as he could, and found himself smiling.
Was it all a dream, or had he really spent the weekend with Jack up at Lightning Flat?
He got up, stretched vigorously again, and put together the makings for a fresh pot of coffee. Heading for the bathroom to get himself showered and shaved, he looked in the usually empty fridge and there it was. The proof. A wrapped package of leftovers sent home with him by Mrs. Twist, Jack's mother. Ennis grinned again, just feeling happy to be looking at her handiwork. I cannot remember ever having someone send leftovers home with me, he thought, pleased with himself.
I'd better get a move on, he thought. The work won't get done, me standing here mooning over the generosity of Claire Twist.
As he showered, he remembered his last shower, the bathroom all steamed up from Jack's shower just before his. The one before that, they were in there together, soaping each other all over, and shampooing each other's hair, when they could remember to focus on cleanliness. Most of it was dream-like, but he remembered how sexy it was. Actually, he didn't need to remember, his body recalled the sensuous feelings, and reacted accordingly. "Ha!" surprised by his response to the memory, Ennis laughed out loud at himself.
Just then the hot water ran out, and he was pelted with icy cold fingers.
First time in his life that he stayed in the shower so long that the hot water ran out. That's what daydreaming will get you, he now knew.
Ennis dressed, filled his thermos with coffee, grabbed a slice of bread and a chunk of the cold beef roast that Claire had sent home with him. Okay, breakfast is served, he thought. Now, I just have to manage to drive one handed while I eat my food.
His day was just like every other day he'd worked at Stodemeir's Ranch; full of routine work and problems needing solved. It seemed like every other day, except it didn't. Underneath everything else ran a current of happiness, a thread of pleasantness that seemed to promise something to look forward to, as if this life, this work, was not all there was.
In the morning, Mr. Stodemeir had asked Ennis how the weekend went, and how his father-in-law was faring. He brought him up to date as much as he knew, and told him that he planned to go back this coming weekend, and to continue to help throughout the summer.
He also said that one thing he was excited about was the porch project. While Ennis was talking about the porch, he realized that he may need to plan for a ramp for the senior Mr. Twist, in case he's in a wheelchair for a time. In Ennis' mind he could see himself and Jack building this structure together; something solid and useful for the family to enjoy.
His reverie was interrupted by Herman's voice continuing, " . . . vill neet to be taken down. If you vant to do the verk on your own time, Innis, you could claim der lumber for your new porch. Tink it ofer und let me know, I vas goink to pay someone else do it, but this may verk oudt better all aroundt."
Ennis filed this bit of information away to think about later, he wanted to see the outbuilding before making his decision. He asked Mr. Stodemeir for the exact location, and made a mental note to check it out.
He had a round of vaccinations to give to one group of cows, and after that move some of the feed from the remote storage facility, closer to hand, as they were getting low in the barns. Before he knew it, the day was over and he was leaving. Without thinking about where he was going, Ennis drove to the Higgins Gift Shop, to look through the post card rack. Linda Higgins asked him what he was looking for, and when he told her Brokeback Mountain, she agreed to order one postcard for him.
Something behind the post card rack caught his eye, it was a similar rack, but this one had key chains in various colors and designs. Some of them had names on them. He used to look at these things all the time, but gave up because, although he could usually find "Jenny" on key chains, pencils, or notebooks, there was no chance he was going to find "Alma", so he had stopped looking at them.
Ennis found himself staring at a key chain with the name "Jack" on a red plastic heart. Without hesitating, he took it to the register and bought it. Linda sacked it up for him, looking curiously at this new glowing Ennis Del Mar. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was finally getting over the divorce. Poor guy's had a rough row to hoe, she thought. I hope he has found someone new, and she gave him a friendly smile along with his change.
He put the trinket in his glove box, then drove over to Alma and Monroe's house, to see if his girls were at home. Junior has a job at the Central Wyoming Power Company now, so he couldn't always catch her when he was in the neighborhood. But he was lucky this time. Both girls were home and they were helping their mom get dinner on the table.
In a matter of minutes, they agreed to have dinner with him on Wednesday night, he would pick them up at 5:30 p.m. He left feeling as happy as if he'd won the top Prize at the weekly Bingo game at the Grange Hall. He was filling his evenings productively and clearing his weekend. It was much easier than he would have ever thought. Guess you don't know till you try.
His next stop was Theo's place where he checked on Scarlet and Grey. He cleaned out their stalls, gave them an extra good brushing, combed their manes, and murmured to them in the special language he'd always used with his horses. As he was finishing up, Theo came by. Absently, the proprietor said "Missed you this weekend, everything all right?" "Uh yeah, in a way it is, Theo, but I had to go out of town. My father-in-law had a stroke up in Lightning Flat and is in the hospital. I went up there to try to keep the place from falling down around their ears while he's laid up."
"Oh, that's too bad, Ennis. I hope he gets better real soon." said Theo, trying his best to offer support to a friend.
"Thank you, Theo. I do too, but he's going to need help ongoing for awhile so I plan to go up there each weekend until he's on his feet or they figure out something else to do. Thing is, I'm planning on taking Scarlet and Grey up there, so it'll be easier for me to care for them. I can ride them and make sure they get some exercise. I was thinkin' this Thursday evenin' would be the best time for me to come by with the trailer and pick them up. I can't say for sure when they'll be back."
"Oh, sorry to hear that Ennis. You've had these two beauties boarded here a long time. We'll miss ya, and them too." sighed Theo, hating to lose a steady customer.
"Might be a temporary thing, Theo." said Ennis. "We'll hafta see."
Driving up to his trailer home, Ennis did the same thing he did every night of his life, but this night was nothing like any other night. It didn't depress him to be going home alone. He thought about the leftovers that he had in the fridge to reheat. They just might make the best meal that ever saw the inside of this trailer. Everything was the same, but nothing was the same.
Dang, he never had changed out that mailbox. Well, maybe he never would. Who knows, he thought. Ennis pulled his mail from the battered box and was happy to see the Hamley's Saddle Catalog had come. He could look it over while he ate his supper. While the meal heated in the oven, Ennis got a shower and cleaned up his bathroom, scrubbing the tub, toilet and sink, then wiping down the mirror.
Picking up his damp towels, then sniffing them, Ennis jerked back. Phew! He thought, how long have these been hanging here? He got out fresh towels and put the sour ones in the hamper. He looked at the dusty curtains hanging in his bathroom and took those down, as well.
My girls don't deserve to see their daddy living a sad sack life, everything surrounding him dingy and shabby, realized Ennis. This place is getting a good scrubbin' tomorrow night; tonight I'm headin' to the laundromat. He proceeded to check all the curtains and bedding, and pulled every bit of it off to take along. It would all be fresh again after tonight.
Ennis only owned one laundry basket, and that one only because Alma had insisted he take it filled with a few towels and a couple sheets when he was moving out. So he stuffed sheets, clothes and curtains into pillow cases, threw them in the back of the truck, and packed the detergent into the old pink plastic laundry basket. He decided to take his new catalog along to the coin laundry, to look at while his things got dry. He stopped only long enough to have his tasty meal and a bottle of Bud. It's amazin' how good a cold beer tastes after workin' all day, he thought.
Humming something pleasant, Ennis drove over to the laundromat. Actually, it was the same one where the little Del Mar family had lived in the upstairs apartment for several years. The swing set was no longer there, making him realize how long ago that was, and how grown up his girls are now. Seeing the parking lot and wooden stairway brought back happy feelings for Ennis.
He had the coin op place pretty much to himself, except for one bedraggled woman who looked as tired as if she'd already worked two jobs today, and still wasn't making ends meet. She knew her children needed the items she was washing, as they only had a couple changes of clothes. These were the best they owned, and were wanted for school picture day, set for the first thing tomorrow. "Would it have killed Kiley or Micah to mention School Picture Day last weekend, or even one day in advance?" she muttered as mothers do. It was never-ending. But she was not giving up, no matter what.
She smiled, thinking how cute those two would look posin' for their pictures.
Ennis picked four washers in a row, placed the coins in the little flat slots, and dumped detergent in while the water filled. When he was sure the soap had dissolved, he added the clothes, towels, bedding and curtains, keeping each of the loads balanced. As soon as he saw that all four machines were agitating real good, and none of them was overloaded, he went outside for a smoke and some wild old memories.
Ennis settled himself on the lowered tail gate of his pick up, lit a cigarette, and mentally sailed back in time to 1967, when all things became possible again. It was Thursday evening, August 24th, Junior had just finished her supper and run off to play when I heard Jack's pickup pull into this lot, he remembered.
Well, I'm getting' ahead a myself, thought Ennis. It really started when I got home from work two weeks earlier, I was washin' up at the sink, Alma was fixin' supper, round steak and mashed potatoes, which as it turned out, I never ate. Anyway, she says to me, "Ennis, you know somebody by the name a Jack?" I'm lucky my goddamn legs didn't buckle under me, and I says "Maybe, why?" She goes on to tell me I got a postcard, come General Delivery.
My hands was shakin' and still wet when I seen that picture a Brokeback Mountain layin' there on the kitchen counter. Had a been a snake, it woulda bit me, and I hadn't even noticed it till she called it out to me. I seen Jack's writin' on it, I'd know his scrawl anywhere. He told me he was coming through on the 24th and for me to "say if your there." It said Childress, Texas, plain as day. I had no idea how long it took a card to get to Texas, so I left right then and there for the post office, mumbling something to Alma about "we was fishing buddies", setting up a fiction that would last for years.
My heart was poundin' so, I could hardly ask for a plain postcard, and when I got it, all I wrote was "You bet." I put his address on the front and my Riverton address in the return address spot, and without another thought, I sent that card on it's way to Jack. All I could hope was that he got it in time to know where I was at.
When the 24th come, I had no idea when he might get here, so I took the whole day off. Big mistake! I paced and smoke, I drank and paced. By about noon, my shower was wore off, so I took another one. As I'd started to say earlier, it was supper time or better when he finally got here. That was the first time all that livelong day, seein' him climb outa that truck, that I could get a full breath in me.
All I remember is flyin' out that door up there and lookin' at Jack Fuckin' Twist walkin' towards me in real life, not no dream this time. I come down those stairs there, two at a time, and raced to get to him. I had no idea how we'd be, or what we'd do when we seen each other, but when we got there we knew. We grabbed so hard, I lost my breath and I heard him sayin' "son of a bitch!" What I needed most was to get my mouth on his, and without givin' it a thought, I pushed him under the stairway where the neighbors couldn't see, but to hell with them if they did, and kissed the livin' daylights outa that boy. And he gave me back as good, wet and salty as he got.
We pushed ourselves together from boot to knee to hip to forehead, trying to melt back into the one person who became our other half on the mountain that summer, never to become separate souls again. Never shoulda been neither. A lifetime ago!
How I ever pulled myself away from Jack long enough to remember to go upstairs to show him to Alma, I'll never know. I think I introduced them proper, but I can't swear to it. My entire body was thrumming with our complementary and instinctive rhythm. The song, "Jack's here! It's really Jack!" repeatin' in my head. Our familiar electricity snapped between us.
That was four fuckin' years since we'd left each other, and I had no idea in all that time where he was at, or even if the Army had got him. We took a few days to be with each other, and it's been the same ever since. We get together way out in the middle of nowhere, as often as we can, and it kills us over and over whenever we have to drive off from one another. It's a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, just as Jack said a couple a weeks back, up there at the trail head.
Ennis was day dreamin' and in such a state, he jumped a mile when his cigarette burned down so far it scorched his finger. "Shit!" he yelled, and laughed at himself. Get your butt in there, Del Mar and check your washing machines. That laundry ain't gonna wash,dry, and fold itself.
While his dryers were running, Ennis scanned the newest catalog, and dreamed of buying fancy get-ups for Scarlet and Grey, plumes for their heads, ribbons for their tales, and that fine Austrian saddle for himself, and one for Jack too! If you're dreamin' you might's well go big, he decided.
Ennis folded all his dry clothes, sheets and curtains. The towels and blankets were still a bit damp, but that wouldn't last long with this everlastin' Wyoming wind, he knew. So he loaded up his stuff and made one last trip out to the truck.
The woman was finished too, and as they walked out of the laundry together, Ennis gave her a happy smile and said "Just think, in a few days it'll all be dirty again." and they laughed, each going to their separate vehicles.
It was very late when Ennis finally threw two clean sheets on his bed and lay down to call it quits for another day. Pulling up a light blanket, he sighed, looked forward to another busy day tomorrow, and fell sound asleep.
tbc