A Better Idea
Chapter Twenty-Five
Saturday night, 6/4/83
"Missed you today." noted Ennis, running his hands over Jack's chest.
"Me too, baby." crooned Jack, holding Ennis in his arms in the big double bed. "We've got a lot a catchin' up to do; don't hardly know where to start."
He leaned over and kissed Ennis' temple, pushing his hair back. Ennis looked up at Jack expectantly, and was rewarded with a full, sweet kiss. They adjusted their arms tighter around each other for maximum skin contact.
"Never thought I'd see a day . . ." Ennis' eyes watered as he yawned so wide his jaw clicked. "Sorry . . . guess I'm sleepy, bud."
"Had to go and start that, didn't ya?" said Jack covering his own open mouth, too late to stifle a huge yawn. "See how contagious. . ah?" Yawning.
"Mm Hmm" nodded Ennis, "C'mere, you." Their kissing was warm and more than welcome. They yearned all day to be in physical contact, if only a slight touch of a hand, or the brief brush of an arm. But even their basic need for each other could not withstand the onslaught of sleep. They scooted down in the bed, getting comfortable in their regular places. Ennis spooned around Jack, the way they liked and pulled up the covers. As the two men were drifting off to sleep, their breathing slowing, Ennis murmured into Jack's ear, "Never been so damned happy in my life, Jack Twist."
"Me Neither."
As they succumbed to the night's dreams, each face softened to reveal the contentment within. The decades of aching loneliness dropped away, and they looked younger by far than their years spent on this earth would suggest.
The girls were giggling on their pallet of quilts on the floor of Claire's room. They were trying to name each of the new cousins they had met that day, and say who was the cutest of them all. "Oh, I think Brad is so dreamy; or was that Eric? The tall one in the blue shirt." said Junior.
"I don't know which that was, but did you see Kyle? Oh my, if the girls at school could see where we've been today and who we've been with! " exclaimed Jenny. "Oh, Junior, did you see how precious the twins, Ryan and Andrew are? They will break some hearts in high school this year. The boys didn't look like that in MY freshman class!"
"Mine neither." agreed Junior. "Course, I shouldn't be talkin' like this. Wait till you see Kurt! He is so handsome, Jenny I swear!"
"Tell you what, though," said Jenny in a quiet, serious voice, "I think Bobby has them all beat."
"Yeah, guess you're right about that, Jen. G'night." said Junior, as she pulled up the blanket over her shoulders, and snuggled down into the pillow.
Claire was ready to turn in, as well. She climbed into her bed, turned off her bedside lamp, and said "Good night, my girls, see you in the morning."
Junior and Jenny replied in their drowsiest voices, "g' night, Gran."
Upstairs, Bobby was the only one in the house with no one to talk to as he wound down from this amazing and unusual day. He thought of the morning when he'd come into the room where dad and Ennis were making the bed together. He remembered dad saying he wasn't a kid anymore, and then Gran waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. Having breakfast as a family had been totally neat. Meeting Scarlet and Grey was really cool, and Buck too. Then having the talk with Ennis in the barn.
I really like Ennis, he thought, He talks to me like it matters what I think. My visit to grandpa Twist at the hospital was – okay, I guess. Then Bobby remembered driving up to Gran's house and seeing Jenny there; Jenny and Junior, and all the cousins, he corrected himself. His mind traveled back over all that had happened this day. Bobby's eyes began to droop closed.
Sunday morning could not have been better. The slight overcast kept it from getting too hot, too early. It would burn off soon enough, they knew. Ennis and Jack liked to make love in the wee hours of the new day, making each other their first priority. Then they would slip outside and get a head start on the chores.
This morning they were not interested in getting a jump on the work, they only wanted to make up for all the time they did not get to touch each other yesterday. With his hands, mouth, arms, and legs all making contact with the skin of his man, Ennis was getting from Jack what he needed most to sustain his life. In turn, Jack had to re-fill his reservoir of essence of Ennis. They could no more go without air, than without the other. No one else exists when they have this need for each other. It's all-consuming.
Their caresses became more urgent, their kisses sucking deeper, their sweat-covered bodies turned yet more slippery, causing a slurping and slapping sound with their rhythmic thrusts. Too soon, their frantic lunges cause an eruption of monumental proportions. They call out their lover's name, along with that of deities, and other nonsensical love words meant only for each other's ears. Aah, fuck. Beautiful. That was unbelievable. Then simultaneously, they think 'wouldn't it be excellent if we could stay connected forever, never have to pull out?'
Reality begins to set in eventually.
"You know what we need in here, Jack?"
"Nuh uh, what, darlin'?"
"Ceilin' fan."
"Christ, yeah. You're right. We could swing from it next time we get this exuberant."
"Hunh!" laughed Ennis. "I meant to cool us off."
"Ya don't like getting' hot, Cowboy?"
"Didn't say that, dumbass!"
Still wrapped snugly in each other's arms, they kiss jaws, ears, eyebrows, and temples, whatever they can reach. Tenderly. Lovingly. But, nothing will halt the forward encroachment of the day. Time to unwind our bodies, time to get up, no no no, they protest. But they must. Besides, gotta piss, get coffee, shower, and make the bed. Oh damn, now we've lost skin to skin contact, and all our sweaty parts are cooling off. Shit, that's hard.
Gran had planned ahead for this busy day. She had made her special sausage western omelet casserole that Ennis liked so much. She added a steaming platter of hash browns to stretch the meal and offer variety. She had sliced up fresh cantaloupe, and made two kinds of muffins, blueberry and cranberry walnut. There would be no more meals today until the Porch Builders Supper as it was being called, so the fare was hearty and filling.
The girls were happy to help set the table, and pour juice and milk. Jack poured coffee. Ennis filled a pitcher with ice water and set it on the table.
This morning, Gran took Jack's hand, and Bobby's hand, and they joined with Ennis, Jenny and Junior, for the morning benediction over their food, and their family. When the prayer was over, Ennis did not raise his head, nor did he let go of Jack's or Junior's hands. The new Ennis Del Mar spoke, "Our Heavenly Father, there's nothing more I could ever ask of you. Our life's blessings are right here at this table. Watch over us, and protect us. Thank you for your many gifts." Smiling into the face of each and every soul at the table, he let them know that they were one of his dearest blessings.
When the family members started arriving, they came by truck and by horseback. They brought their tools, their know-how, and their willingness to pitch in not only for the work, but also for the fun. Gran made gallons of lemonade, ice tea, and ice water for the workers. Bobby took charge of the horses, settling them comfortably in the barn, and talking to them to welcome them.
He fed Scarlet, Grey and Buck right after breakfast, and mucked out their stalls. So all was well in the barn, Bobby was in charge.
The men gathered around Ennis because it was his project, and his design. He had already laid out the work areas for the power saws, had set up saw horses for hand sawing and planing. He handed out sketches of how the porch was to be built, each section plainly numbered. He tacked up the Final View of what it should eventually look like. Before seeing this final drawing, Jack had not realized that Ennis included a ramp off the west side of the porch, and steps down from the east, as well as a wider set of steps in front of the door.
Ennis gave assignments to each of those who chose not to be a builder as well; assigning them to a builder as a runner for tools, nails or a cool drink.
Junior decided there was altogether too much running going on. She found more saw horses in the barn, brought them out with Laura's help, and they had a makeshift drinks table set up in no time. Junior calculated which way the sun would move, and placed the table for maximum shadiness. She then elicited help from Ryan and Andrew to bring out the heavy gallan containers of drinks, and the cups. This step eliminated the runner traffic in and out of Gran's kitchen. Seemed to Junior they slammed the screen door every time through too. She earned a hug from Gran for thinking of this solution.
It was Kelly's idea to write every person's name on a cup to prevent them from grabbing a new paper cup every time they got thirsty. Waste saved, and Kelly knew she had done a good thing. Then she went back to carrying boards.
Ennis walked over to Jack who was planing a board that didn't want to lie flat or straight. "How's it going, darlin'?" he asked as he leaned ever so slightly into Jack's arm?
Jack straightened up, wiped his brow with a bandana, and said "Not too bad, Cowboy, seems great in fact. You?"
"Same here, even better now." Ennis smiled into knock-you-dead blue eyes.
Roger walked up to confer with Ennis and Jack while they were having their break. "Perfect work day, don't ya think?" he asked. They nodded. He had something on his mind, so continued with it, "Ennis, ya got plenty a help here without me, don't ya think?"
Again Ennis nodded, but wondered if Roger was gonna end everything he said with 'don'tcha think'. "Sure Roger, no need for ya to be here at all, specially if ya still want a be that family slacker ya mentioned yesterday." He slapped Roger on the back, smiled at him, then continued. "Sorry, couldn't resist that jab, Rog. As you can see, we got plenty of help, so don't worry about it. You got other responsibilities for today, that's your look out."
Shaking his head, Roger said, "No, that's not what I mean, Del Mar. What I'm gettin' at is, you got builders, and these builders will turn into painters before too long, don't ya think?"
Still in the dark, Ennis merely nodded, waiting.
"I'm a painting contractor, Ennis. I could drive back ta the house, round up more white paint, scrapers, sanders, sprayers, ladders, rags, turpentine,
tape, you name it, and come on back here. S'gonna look funny if we just paint that new porch white and the rest of the house is still that peeling old….uh." Not wanting to hurt Jack's feelin's, Roger stopped and stammered.
Ennis was grinning, loving the idea, but he deferred to Jack. "Ya think?"
"Hell yeah! Let's do it now, while we got the help and the equipment!"
Roger was so excited to finally be contributing something so valuable that his expertise could offer. He ran to his truck and took off for the house.
Shortly, the workers were divided between building crew, scraping crew and taping crew.
Junior and Laura found they worked well together, so as they were up on ladders anyway, they set their routine. They both scraped the trim around each window on the east facing windows, Laura would wash the window, Junior would dry it, then they both taped newspaper up covering the glass to keep paint from overspraying onto their clean window. They convinced the others to adopt their system, so when the house was freshly painted, all the windows would be clean on the outside. They'd worry about the inside at a later date!
Kyle and Eric found that they were excellent scrapers and tapers, but didn't care for washing the windows 'till Junior caught them, and glared at them. In a minute, Kyle called Junior back over and suggested that since they had such long arms, they would scrape the body of the house, and leave the window scraping, cleaning, covering and taping to others with less of a reach.
She thought that sounded perfect. So using their logic, she got with all the other paint prep workers and made similar arrangements.
Walter just beamed as he looked at the progress being made by his family on his sister's home. 'Bout time she caught a break', he knew.
By one p.m. the porch was finished and the house was prepped completely for painting, even those windows and boards in the front that had to be saved till the new porch floor was laid.
Gran brought out a bowl of fruit, and set it on the drinks table. Putting her hand on Ennis' shoulder, she gave him a motherly look. "You could give your workers a break. If you want." He looked at her gratefully and realized she was right. She then looked at Bobby, and tipped her head toward the house, silently asking for help. He asked Brad and Jenny to come with him. Good thing, there were three more bowls of fruit to be carried out. The entire crew sat down in whatever shade they could find and ate an apple, banana, pear, or peach, as well as a cool drink and they enjoyed some conversation.
Walter asked Claire if she would give Iris a call and let her know they'd not be over to the P.B. Supper till 3 p.m. Tell her I'll fill in the details later.
Within twenty minutes, the compressor had been fired up, and the painting was commencing on the side of the house that had the trim painted already. Roger was operating the sprayer. It was fascinating how quickly the paint covered the prepped area, and many observers gathered. Ennis had to shoo them back to painting the trim. With so many hands now free to paint trim, it went much faster, so they stayed ahead of the sprayer.
The new porch sucked up paint like a sponge, and had to be spayed again. Also the north side of the house had weathered more than the other sides, so Roger decided to put a second coat on it, as long as the paint held out. Ennis concurred with his idea.
Iris and Claire were ready with their food, so they had time for a nice long phone chat. Claire told her what was happening outside, how exciting it all was, and how the new little family had spent their night and morning. She did not tell Iris about Ennis' prayer, she would save that till they were together, face to face to share the precious memory.
When Roger and Ennis were satisfied that every thing that should be done, had been done, they had everyone begin to clean-up and pack-up. The tools had been cleaned, the excess boards, bags of concrete, nails and brads had long been put away, even before the painting began. The smaller brushes had been cleaned all along as soon as they were finished painting the trim. Gran provided a trash barrel for the paper, tape and empty paint cans. The very last thing to be done was to take down the newspaper coverings and tape from every area, making sure it was dry enough to risk putting the ladder up against the house. Finally, the ladders were stowed.
The workers washed up in basins of warm water that Gran had brought out, along with helpers Bobby, Brad and Jenny. Kelly brought soap to each station, and clean dry rags were provided by Andrew and Ryan. Eric took the dirty water and dumped it, rinsed and wiped out the basins, and one by one stacked them before returning all to the kitchen for his Great Aunt Claire.
The hungry, and somewhat clean Porch Building and House Painting Crew took off for Walter and Iris' house one more time, leaving Claire, Jack, Ennis, Bobby, Junior and Jenny to follow in Jack's truck. As they turned in the lane, to cut across the pasture, a collective gasp went up in the truck. This was the first time any of them had stood back far enough to take in the effect of what they had accomplished today.
Stunned, they gazed at the beautiful house, with the lovely new porch. In the scheme of things, it was still not much of a grand place, but in their eyes, it was wondrous, and they had done it.
"Oh Ennis" breathed Claire, "look what you've done, son."
Ennis was openly awed just like everyone else, but said "If it was just the porch I was going to build you, Mom, you'd still be looking at a big hole with sticks and string around it. It's this family of yours who've learned to come together for hard work and for play, who've accomplished this, not me."
"But, it was your idea, darlin' " pressed Jack. "You carried through with it." And each of the kids patted or rubbed Ennis' shoulder, depending on how much of him they could reach, and said, "Yeah, dad." Bobby hoped no one had heard him say that. It felt strange on his tongue and he didn't think he was ready for that, probably never would be, but he felt warm all over, and liked thinking maybe someday he would be ready.
The loud talking, the food, the rowdy bunch of relatives, 21 in all, melded together in Ennis' heart to form one of the warmest memories of his entire life. Now that they had spent two days working together and sharing meals, they all knew each other. There were no strangers here. Everyone belonged.
Kelly, Brad, Eric, Kyle, Laura, Andrew, Ryan, Bobby, Junior and Jenny were at the large table, talking loudly, comparing schools, new songs, and cars. Oh, yeah, they were at that age, if they didn't have a car they were wanting access to one. Some had their licenses, and some were studying for them.
Junior and Jenny found out that ranch kids drove almost from the time they could walk. Didn't seem fair! Someone asked, "You wanta go swimming?" All did, but no decision was made.
By the time that afternoon when Walter settled down beside the love of his life, with his plate of food and began to tell her all about the morning's activities, Iris had already heard it on the phone from Claire. For a man who loved to talk as much as Walter did, it was a cruel blow. He decided she hadn't heard his version, so he told her anyway
Jack brought his full plate over and sat down next to Ennis, making Kenneth scoot over a bit on the banquet, so he could wedge in thigh to thigh with his man. Roger and Patsy were in this same cluster around a middle-sized folding table. Ken craned his neck around to seek Rachel, and found her filling her plate with Mauro and Jennifer at the buffet table. He made sure to catch her eye so she knew he was saving a place for her and her brother, and sister-in-law. This group when assembled, represented the entire middle generation in the family right now. "No, said Rachel, remember Uncle Harold's kids, Christy and Steve and their spouses."
"Oh yeah" said Ken. "They were up here for Mother's Day. You know, that brings back a memory, Jack. That was the day before your dad's stroke."
Jack and Ennis both looked far off, remembering they were together out in the wilderness. That particular day they had spent in the prairie, and ended by watching the sunset nestled against each other." They sat there quietly.
Rachel teased, "Well, to be technically correct, if you are counting my brother, Mo, here and his wife Jennifer, guess we'll also have to count my sister Mary, my brother Andrew along with their spouses. They come up here often enough." She turned to Ennis and continued. "What about you, Ennis, do we have to count your wife, as well?"
He looked at Rachel and calmly replied, "No, I'm divorced from Alma, my girls' mother. Now, it's just me and Jack."
Jack turned a stunned look on Ennis, and made him think about what he'd just said. "Oh, I don't mean "Just" Jack as if he ain't important to me. I meant, now it's me and Jack." Then satisfied that he had clarified it, he settled back and reached his fork in for a bite of potato salad.
Jack, as well as everyone else around the table just sat there, for three ticks of the clock. Then he reached his hand up to Ennis and squeezed the muscles at the nape of his neck, and nodding his head, said "yep." Jack smiled like he'd been given a million dollars.
Patsy had looked horrified, when Ennis said "now it's me and Jack." and she bolted up, dropping her plate to the table where it landed upside down. She ran outside, seeking a place of solace, a place to hide. "Ennis, contrite, said
"Oh, I'm sorry, I certainly did not mean to offend . . . " but Ken didn't let him finish. "It's not that, Ennis."
Roger had followed Patsy to try to comfort his wife, so the explanation was left to anyone who wanted to attempt it. "Patsy's brother Charles, was gay apparently. Unfortunately, he fell in love with a straight man, and was doomed to have his heart broken. No one in his family knew he was gay until he killed himself and left them a suicide note."
This story hit Ennis in a particularly tender place, as he always considered himself to be a straight man, accidentally in love with a male co-worker, leaving Jack to wonder and worry if he would ever make a life with him. I'm so lucky that Jack is more patient, and more persuasive, and I've finally begun to give it a try. Truth be told, I think I'm lucky that old man Twist had the stroke, or I don't know where me and Jack and our kids would be about now. "Do you think she'd allow me to talk to her?" he asked the group?
As he approached Patsy, he looked questioningly at Roger. He nodded and backed off, leaving room for Ennis to come nearer. Ennis opened his arms, and she came into them, sobbing into his shirt front. He let her cry for a minute or two. "I'm so sorry, Patsy, I didn't know about Charles. You have my heartfelt condolences." Eventually, she dried her tears, and they sat down on a bench in the yard. In as short a version as possible, he told her their story. His and Jack's. How they were just now beginning to try, and how scary it was, and how wonderful in most respects, because of this family.
She said "If you ever feel the need of a sister, I'm here for you, Ennis."
He squeezed her tight, and kissed her cheek. "You know what, Patsy? You've just reminded me that I have not told my own brother and sister about my life. I mean, that I love a man. After hearing about your brother, I think I'd better rectify that situation, don't you? No more secrets. You have been such a big help to me, I hope I've been able to help you a bit." Arms wrapped around each other, they strolled back into the house and rejoined the group.
"Jack, I hate to leave, you know I do. But it's getting awful late. Me and the girls got work and our so-called lives waiting for us in Riverton bright and early tomorrow morning."
"Yeah, okay." said Jack, his blue eyes darkening with need and sadness.
Jennifer looked significantly at Mo, who approached Ennis. "Ennis, if you prefer, wait a couple of hours and fly back to Riverton with Jen and me. It'd be no trouble."
"Oh, Mauro that sounds wonderful. But I need my truck back there for my ranch work, and to drive up here again next weekend. I sure wish I could, though. Maybe some other time? Can I have a rain check?"
Jennifer asked, "What about the girls? Can we take them back?"
She and Ennis found Junior and Jenny in a group out back looking at a litter of black and white kittens. When they saw Ennis, they said "Oh, daddy! . . " and he said "No. No way. No kittens. Up to your mother anyway. It'd be her headache, not mine. Girls, came to ask you if you're going to fly back with Jennifer and Mauro, or ride all the way back to Riverton in that ratty old truck with me."
Junior decided that she had things she wanted to get done tonight, so she would go ahead and fly back, while Jenny opted for the time with her daddy.
"C'mere" he said to his girls. Kissing them both, he acknowledged once again how grown up they were, but they were still his little girls.
"Junior, we have to leave now, or we'll never get back in time. Shoulda left a long time ago, but just couldn't pull myself away. Ya know?" Jenny nodded, reluctant to leave, but preferred to have this time alone with daddy. 'Sides
Who'd he talk to, all that way, if she didn't go with him?
He hugged Junior again, and kissed her forehead, ran his knuckles over her face, and walked away. Hardest walk he could remember since taking her to kindergarten and leaving her there that first day. Guess this is like that, he thought, it's a growing up thing.
Jenny didn't have much gear to gather up, but she and Gran made a few sandwiches and cold drinks for their trip southwest, and spent the time in girl talk. Bobby came in asking, "Did you make Ennis' coffee yet?" When he discovered they hadn't thought of coffee, he brewed the coffee, strong like he liked it, and poured it in the thermos that they'd used on the trip up.
Everything was packed in the pick-up and still Ennis and Jack hadn't come downstairs. The three of them kept checking, looking up the stairs, but no one was coming down.
As soon as the Twist/Del Mar family had gotten back to the new house and new porch, Jack headed up to their room, with Ennis following. They came together hard, clutching tightly, and hating this yet one more goodbye. "Goddammit all to hell, Ennis! I fuckin' hate this."
"I know you do, baby. I do too."
"Why can't you ditch that job and just stay?"
"You know I got a few more months of child support, Jack. I gotta work."
"I could spare you a loan, bud."
"Jack Fuckin' Twist, you know how bad it got the last time you offered that!"
"I miss you already, Ennis!"
"Me too, Jack, it's rippin' my guts out. C'mere."
Ennis pulled Jack down on their bed, and cradled him, kissing his face and telling him it'd be all right. Nevertheless, they both cried, and when they went downstairs, they had red, puffy eyes.
Ennis was just one big knot of pain, he kissed Claire, and hugged her saying, "I'll see you the weekend, Mom." He walked over to Bobby and grabbed him so tight, one sob came out before he could stop himself. "You take care a gran and your daddy, ya hear me, son?"
Thinking to move along, maybe escape some of this, Ennis called to Jenny "Hop in the truck, Jenny girl, we can't stand here bawlin' all night." Feeling bad about how that sounded, he said "Well, guess I'm the only one bawlin' here." When she was in the truck, he made her put her seat belt on, and then he stepped up to Jack.
Taking Jack's face in his hands, he kissed him so longingly, that if there'd ever been any question about whether theirs was a romantic relationship, no one in the vicinity was in doubt anymore. They all walked into the house to give Jack and Ennis one last moment alone.
"I love you, my darlin' Jack, and I'll see you next Friday night."
"Okay, baby. Take care of yourself, I love you so much, Ennis."
Ennis got in the truck, started it and drove away without a look back. It hurt too damned bad. Jack stood in the yard, watching, till they were out of sight down that damned lonely old gravel road.
TBC