Prompt: #1 Rain
Summary: Let the rains come to wash away the ugliness.
A/N: This continues the Adventum Aduro verse. Things come to a head.
Imber is Latin for "rainstorm, pelting rain".
Imber
The loud, booming rumble of thunder overhead echoes through his chest as he withstands the onslaught of a fierce storm head on. Fat droplets of water beat against his face and his body with unrelenting force. Water splashes against marble and stone, creating a melody of melancholy and chill. The lively city around him has taken shelter within doors but not him. He wishes to be here, out in the open and exposed. He wants to feel the downpour upon his frame. So that maybe, just maybe, it could cleanse him of the things that he wishes to shed. Those things that make him the evil that he is. The chilling sensation he is so used to is back and he waits for the numbness to set in. If it could only keep him numb forever. To be numb was preferable to this agony. This agony was of insecurity and doubt. He did not want to feel this way. It had not been his plan to feel this way and yet, every minute of every day, there it was. This underlying knowledge that maybe he was not where he was supposed to be. That maybe in his defiance of the entities that would stop him, he seems to have lost sight of what really is and what should not be.
What happened to his determination? The one that he had, had those five years he had fought so hard to find her a cure. When had he become this shell of himself? Why did he have to revert to this? He felt as if he were in relapse of some kind. That he was going back to the way he was before he had known the brightness of her light. Before he had known her star, her sun, he had been nothing but black coldness. It was her warmth, or the idea of her warmth that had changed him. Now, he was not sure what was going to keep him warm when all he wanted was to return to the cold blackness that he was used to. At least there, he did not feel inadequate. At least there, he could not feel the complete fear and rejection in her eyes that he had seen when she had finally been show what he really was. That monster that was lurking inside himself. The one that exposed all the sins of his past and the bleakness of his future. His true self that she had stubbornly refused to see before.
What had he worked so hard for? He had wanted every moment and every time. He did not want far between. He did not want other times. The goal had been to save her and then it had been to have her. What he had not anticipated, what he had not thought of was what she would desire. The consideration of her feelings had been neglected. He had not thought of how much she would suffer in those long years he had forced himself to stay away. There were always consequences to actions and he knew that fact more than most. So he should have thought of this. No matter that his actions were meant to be noble and true. He had left her alone. Something that she had not wanted and he could not understand. He should not have left her regardless. True, it had been for her overall protection but he could have kept her updated. There were always ways to go about things differently. He had been foolish. The thought that she might not have wanted him had not even crossed his mind. Now that he has seen how she must see his true nature, he wonders how he could have been so stupid. It was asking too much. He had been too selfish, too greedy.
"What is the nightmare and what is the reality?" he asks himself again as he turns his face up to stare at the weeping clouds. "I wish I were asleep. Asleep so that I could wake and find this not to be true. For our true selves are asleep, lying dormant in the darkness of the night." He sighs to himself. "Would that I could remain in slumber so as not to taint one so divine."
As a blessing, he starts to feel the numbness settle within his bones. He is barely aware of the streams of water now as it streaks down his face and over his skin. There is no heed to the drenching of his clothes either. His gloves had been taken off and as he observes at his hands, he can see that they are starting to turn blue. He knows that soon, the hypothermia will set in and waits in eager expectation of it. For what could it do to him? The cold could not kill a monster who was cold blooded. It would help him get through this feeling of inadequacy.
"Please come out of the rain."
He stiffens at the sound of the voice, but he does not turn around.
"I am sorry to intrude," he says meekly.
"You do not intrude anywhere," she reassures quickly. "Please come inside."
"I am selfish," he confesses, ignoring her plea to look up at the sky again. "I know I am."
"I do not catch your meaning," she says behind him. She is still underneath shelter and he is glad for that. He was the one that deserved to be out here. He was the one that needed to be cleansed.
He turns his body partially to look into her face.
"Because it does not matter what you feel," he says and his eyes darken with intent. "I want you for my own."
Her eyes widen and her shapely lips form an 'O'. He could almost smile at her adorable expression of surprise, if he were not so determined.
"Wicked and evils do not like to share so I will not share you," he tells her. He turns fully now and faces her, ready for any outburst or howl of revolt from her. "You can run from me. You can reject me but your fate will be the same." He takes a menacing step towards her to scare her, but she does not move away. It would confuse him if he were thinking more clearly. "You belong with me and to me just as I belong with you and to you. You can try to hide from me. You can try to find protection but nothing will protect you from me."
"This makes you selfish?" she asks and the question makes him stop.
Sheets of water rain on him before her and he has begun to shake, but this time it is not from the cold. His eyes have long turned red with his predatory mood but now they almost seem uncertain of whether to change to blue at her question. Did she not understand what he was telling her?
"Does it not make me selfish to want you so, despite your wishes?" he asks in reply and he angles his head to her in question. "That I want all of you and not just that. I want every moment and every time and everything all together."
He can feel his eyes change back to blue as he feels the tension drain from his body. He slumps defeated as he continues to stand there and waits for her to rail at him in defiance. It was her right but he has been honest at last and with that bluntness he can feel his energy deplete. Of the many things that he expects from her in reaction, what she does, surprises him. In the recesses of his mind, he had hoped that she would do something like this. To see her do it though, was something else entirely and he feels like the entire world had turned on its axis within that one moment as he watches her.
Stella's eyes look determined and resolute and he fancies her eyes have changed color too. They were not red but an almost golden hue that he almost recognizes. She takes one poignant step out into the downpour of rain and the water seeps into her hair and onto her clothes. He can almost see her flesh through the outline of her clothing but he refuses to look at her body when he can needs to see the look on her face. She takes another step towards him and he feels paralyzed to all else but watching her. Her deliberate steps add to the anticipation of this moment and he wants to savor it and rush it all at once, just so that he will know the outcome of it.
"What will you do now?" she asks, when they still have too much space between them.
In all honesty, he had not thought that far ahead.
"What lengths must I take to ensure that I have you?" he asks back, because he does know this. That he will do whatever she wants. He is starting to tremble now with suppressed want, needing to be unleashed. Having her so close to him was unraveling him and she needed to be warned, but she speaks before he can.
"Will you do whatever it is that I say?" she asks vaguely. Her face is surprisingly neutral.
"I will," he vows, because he will.
She takes another step closer, closing the gap between them, before she turns her head up to look him square in the eye and he braces himself for whatever she requires of him.
"Then never leave me again," she says in a breathy voice and he feels something wash over him that makes him shiver in a way that the cold rain could not.
His heart clenches painfully and he looks down at her with barely restrained emotion. Was that all? Could it be that simple?
She nods her head in response to his silent question. He knows there is a frown on his face as he continues to watch for any sort of regret on her face, but she looks clear and resolute in what she has requested. She wanted him there. What more could he ask for? He feels something spark just beside them but he is heedless to it. Without thinking, he has her face clutched within his hands and he is crushing her mouth against his. Good heavens that it feels as good this time as it did the last time he indulged in this. He was not going to let go this time. There is a sensation like bursts or explosions but he dismisses them in favor of concentrating on how right this feels. If anything, it drives him to kiss her harder and deeper. He is not sure how long he has kissed her when he realizes that she has taken hold of each of his wrists to make sure that he does not let go of her. His lips withdraw just enough to brush roughly against hers, parting her mouth to delve still deeper into the depths of her. Tasting her so desperately when he could not before has him relishing the flavor that only she could have. It is the taste of pure light. His true means of redemption.
Yet even with their mouths fitted together and their tongues entwined, he does not find satisfaction. He needs to feel her. He needs to feel more of her. He will not be satisfied until he can feel all of her. So he releases one of his hands to drag along the wet material along her spine until it is on the small of her back and presses her tightly against him. Bodies pressed as mouths are but he still does not think they are close enough. Can they ever be close enough for him? She helps by stepping onto the tips of her toes and arching her back in such a way to flush herself completely against him. He wraps his arm around her to keep her in place as his lips continue ravish hers relentlessly. His aggression does not frighten her either. It could not when she so aggressively sought his lips and tongue too. She matched his fervor and she was savoring his taste equally. He only lets her go when it feels like she is struggling for breathe but he cannot keep his lips from any part of her skin. They slide along her jaw down to her neck as one hand supports her head and his arm remains securely on her back. He does not get to go any lower before her hands are pulling him towards her lips again to begin the dance anew.
He loosens his hold when she pushes away from him and she stares into his eyes with a small smile on her kiss swollen lips. That it is a happy smile brings a warmth into his heart. That those lips were swollen from his own ardent kisses makes his eyes darken again in desire.
"Will you come inside now?" she asks, stepping away but holding onto one of his hands to pull him with her inside.
He has a more pensive look now as he realizes he has forgotten all about the icy downpour. He keeps hold of her hand but does not step towards her. "Is it proper to?"
"And you standing in the rain on my balcony was not?" she asks with a teasing smile on her lips.
"I had to make sure I was close, even if I was brooding," he says sardonically.
Her eyes look compassionate and touched all at once and she squeezes his hand before giving it another pointed tug.
"There is no room for the sun in this," she says, indicating the unrelenting rain still pouring down upon them. She tugs on his hand again and this time he moves forward to go with her as she leads him back into her rooms.
He lets go of her hand as he crosses the threshold of her balcony doors and she hurries off to get them some towels. The gossamer curtains outline his figure as he looks around the room that is hers. While his at Nihilsomno was all black and plain, hers was lively and white. The light within is not harsh and blinding but just right to his eyes as he stands there, waiting for her to return. His feet are planted, unsure of whether he should invade this haven again. He had not had the presence of mind to notice many details the first and last time he had entered this domain. When she comes back into the room she pauses to look at him with something akin to admiration. It sends a queer emotion through him to be looked at in such a way by her.
"You are a picture every woman fantasizes about," she comments finally.
He tilts his head at her comment, not quite understanding what she means by that. When she shivers he immediately reaches behind him to close the door to block the wind. He turns back around to see her peeling off her shirt and swallows thickly. She has just taken off her sopping blouse when she notices him staring at her. Her smile is a little shy but she comes towards him without any hesitation.
"You must be cold," she says. Her hands go to the zipper of his jacket but she makes no move to undo it.
"I have always been cold," he admits softly. This close to her, he can see the goosebumps on her flesh and his hand reaches up to run along them in an effort to warm her with his hands. He can feel the shiver run through her body and he steps closer.
She must take that as a yes because she unzips his jacket and he has to move his arms away from her so she can get it past his shoulders. This takes too long and when she has successfully taken his jacket off and put it down, he grabs hold of her to press against his chest again. One hand automatically weaves itself into her wet hair and brings her head closer to his so he can kiss her forehead, then her nose, then her each of her eyelids and further down to her lips. The kiss deepens faster this time but she does not let him take her lips for long. She moves her own across his face in turn. It feels like a forgiveness with each press of her lips against each feature of his face and he closes his eyes in thanks.
"You should take off your shoes," she suggests, but she does not pull away for him to do so.
"And you need to take off the rest of your things," he says. "You are shivering too much."
"Are you going to leave me now then?" she asks, clutching the biceps of each of his arms.
"It is not right for me to stay," he says.
"It is not all right to leave me either," she insists.
"Stella," he says in warning.
"You cannot leave me," she says. She grabs onto his hand and brings it to her heart.
"What would you have me do?" he asks, alternating between looking at where his hand is and her eyes.
"Stay with me," she whispers urgently, before reaching up to kiss him again.