A Better Idea
A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.
This chapter is dedicated to my friend shakestheground.
Happy Birthday, darlin' !
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Friday, June 10th, 1983
Two men both named Twist, alone in the house that Friday after lunch.
What might pass for a conversation ensued.
"Okay, ready for your afternoon therapy? Here's your rubber ball. Squeeze 30 times, rest for 10 counts, squeeze again. Do 3 sets of those. Then rest.
Next we'll do your right elbow, then shoulder. Okay? You need help?"
John kept his eyes on the ball as he squeezed it. Without looking up he spoke to Bobby, "Heard your daddy on the telephone yesterday. That Junior he was talkin to; that His boy?"
Bobby said "no."
"I always knowed that Ennis Del Mar weren't nothin but a queer. Sumpin' happen a him? Somebody git him good? Way your daddy was talkin' a him all lovey dovey was downright sickenin'. Almos' brought up my dinner."
"Look here, old man. I ain't gonna stand here and listen to you bad mouth my family! I don't care if you are old and feeble!"
"Hmmph, ain't never been feeble a day in my life, don't aim ta start now. What you gonna do about it anyways? Livin under my roof aint'cha?"
"Way I heard it, its Gran's roof. I'd be careful f'I's you."
"Ain't no way for you to talk to your betters, boy!"
"When I meet my betters, I'll respect'em. I was brought up right by my mama and my daddy."
"Zat so?"
"Yes, old man, that's so".
"You need to be callin me "grandpa" or "sir" 'n keep a civil tongue in your head, boy."
"Ain't no grandpa a mine. 'Shamed a you. My mother's father was a bully and a nasty old man too, just like you. He was called by his initials, LD, and he always had to be the stud duck too, I'm gonna call you by your initials too, JC, just like him; Y' ain't no grandpa a mine atall."
"Well, you got a backbone, boy. I'll say that much fer ya. Musta got it from yer Ma."
"That's it! Not talkin' to no nasty mouth old man about my daddy. You ain't fit to shine his boots. Nor Ennis' neither, you know that? Dad and Ennis are BOTH finer men than you ever thought a bein'!"
Gran had her apron overly full of ripening tomatoes, holding it up by the corners with both hands, she had no way to open the door. Was figurin' out how to use her elbows to advantage when Bobby jerked the door wide and stopped open mouthed in front of her. Stepped back to let her enter, then slammed out and stalked off to the barn. He was brushing Buck for a fare-thee-well when she came out to the barn two minutes later.
"You could tell me about it. If you want."
"I'm sorry Gran, didn't mean to be rude to you like that. I never was one to be slammin' doors, but he just got my goat!"
"You and grandpa have words, did ya?"
"Told him he ain't no grandpa a mine. Talking bad about my family; it just ain't right."
"No, that ain't right. What would you suggest we do?"
Bobby thought for only a second before saying: "How deep is your well?"
"Deep enough, I reckon." replied Gran grimly.
There was a pause as a thoughtful look crossed her face. "But we'll be needin clean water at some point. snummph."
Bobby couldn't hold his glee any longer, especially when Gran was snortin' like that! They both laughed till their sides ached. Relieved a lot of that tension, it surely did.
Turning serious again, Bobby asked a direct question. "How'd you stay with him all this time, Gran, if he's as mean as everyone says?"
"Bobby, much of life's a mystery, and this is one a those. But I promise you I'm gonna tackle this one right now. Please stay out here awhile and brush Ennis' horses for him, won't you? I want to talk to your uh . . my husband. Okay, darlin'?"
With Bobby's nod of agreement, Claire turned to walk back to the house. She smoothed the front of her dress with her hands, as she went back in.
"John Twist, we need ta have a word or two, and a lot of what you consider to be your future is ridin' on your answers. You listenin' ta me, John?"
"How could I be doin' anythin' else? Woman gets to flappin her mouth can't nobody hear their own thoughts in their head."
"John, that's the last nasty, ugly word I wanta hear from you. Now just hush up and listen to me a minute."
"I know Walter told you that we know about your Childress experience, and I've tried to look forward to you comin' home, and getting back to normal. Like we was when Jack was a baby. Oh how wild you was for that boy. And for me, too, John. Do you remember those days, John? R'member any a that?"
"'Course I do woman, why wouldn't I?"
"You don't act like it, John. You act like you hate us. We ain't done nothing but love you, John. You got no call to treat Jack and me like you been doin' all these years. We didn't attack you, John. It's not our fault you was hurt. We didn't even know you was hurt . . . and that hurts most of all. You didn't even trust your own wife with the truth. A wife who worshipped you and would have done anything in her power to help you get well and to heal."
"Nothin you coulda done, Claire. Didn't want you to be disgusted by me, by what I did, by what I had become."
"Way I heard it, you was doin all the right things. The bad things were done TO you, not BY you. Isn't that true, John?"
"Don't make no difference, it was still my body that was ruined by being used by a man. No, by all a them men."
"John, yours was the most beautiful body I ever saw, and your face too, but it's not what I fell in love with. I loved you, the man inside. Our son has the same good looks that you had, but his insides are beautiful. He's a good, loving man, John."
"Yeah, and look where it got him! The queers like his pretty looks, they got him, too, and converted him, damned if they didn't."
Claire turned her back on her husband, as sad a day as she thought she'd ever see. And she made up her mind.
"John, if that's really the way you feel, I don't want you here no more. The speech therapy seems to have done wonders, you're talkin' real well, but your mind and heart is still sick. I can't have you here, amongst my family."
"Claire, what the hell you talkin' about? This is my home!"
"Well, it was your home for many years, John. But you ain't welcome here no more. I want you to go someplace where they can fix you. Make you think right, make you human again. You used to be the sweetest man on earth. I miss my husband, my sweetheart, I been missing him for 'bout thirty-five years but I'm done with that now."
"No, Claire, for Christ's sake! Don't talk like that! That's crazy! You can't throw a man outa his home."
"Yes, John, I can. And I will." Her words were deadly, they were so quiet.
"What can I do to change your mind, Claire? Why'd you bring me home if you was just gonna throw me out? Please, don't do this thing! Goddamit Claire, be reasonable!"
"I brought you home, John, because Walter led me to believe that you were getting counseling. That you were listening to him, listening to reason. I had such high hopes of seeing my Johnny again, but I see I was wrong. My dear sweet Johnny is dead, he died back there in that motel in Childress, TX and I don't like the man who took his place all these long years ago. And I won't have it no more. No more."
The finality in Claire's voice told her husband that she was never more serious in her life. He knew she'd do it. The fear gripped him worse than any stroke he'd suffered had done. He had seen those old folks in the hospital and at the therapy place, the ones nobody came to see. The ones who may as well be faceless and nameless because nobody cared about them. He began crying and begging to stay, to have another chance. A chance to change, a chance to be her Johnny. If only she'd let him try.
"And Jack's daddy again?" she asked. "The daddy who picked up his son and took him everywhere with him? When all the boy had to say was 'Go, daddy, Go!' That daddy?"
"I swear to you, Claire, I'll do it. I'll do my best if you just give me another chance."
"No, John. I'm not inclined to believe you at this late date. I'll have to pray on this awhile. Put it in God's hands. I'm all out of forgiveness, husband. So if you are wanting to make promises and ask for more chances, ask Our Lord. I'm done. And I'll be askin' for forgiveness of my own, for allowing this to go on for so long."
"In the meantime, I'm thinking to call Walter and have him come get you outa here. Take you to his house where you can't do so much damage. I'm going in to read my scripture now, and probably lay my head down. I'm suddenly very tired."
She left him then; did not enquire if he had enough to drink, enough blankets, enough . . . anything. She just walked away.
After resting, and praying Claire felt a little better. She got herself a glass of iced tea and talked to herself about what was the right thing to do in this situation. Should she give him a chance to hurt more innocent people? Or turn her back on him without warning? Because she knew it was true, she had never spoken up before. Never told him where the boundary lines lay, where he may no longer cross over with his words and his deeds.
Claire called her brother and spoke with him, about her decision. Told him to be ready to receive his old friend, lock, stock and barrel if this experiment a hers didn't work out. She was puttin John on Probation, starting this minute.
Suddenly she remembered Bobby out in the barn brushing those horses. 'There won't be nothin' left of'em if he's still brushin' after all a this time', she thought. Opening the huge barn door and peering in, it took Gran a minute to let her eyes adjust to the shady cool interior. At first she didn't see him anywhere, but as she walked toward the stalls where the horses were quartered, she saw her grandson asleep; stretched out across two bales of hay in front of Grey's stall.
Looking at his teenaged face in slumber, Claire knew that Bobby had brought this change in her attitude today. No longer was it acceptable for John Twist to run roughshod over the feelings of everyone in his family. Now she finally knew the reason he had changed; but it was high time for him to get over it; or at least deal with it, and move on. Her growing family, newly formed, was so precious to her that nothing, not anyone or anything, was going to threaten it's existence. They were joined together by love, after all these years, and they were going to have their chance to stay that way.
Claire pictured her well loved new son and his daughters; it brought her joy to think of them playing and working together at her home. She visualized Jack bringing his own son home to live, and knew that she was happier than she had ever expected to be in this life. This was what a family unit was supposed to be, and Jack and Ennis had made it for her. She was not going to give up what they'd been building these past weeks, not if it took every bit of strength she could muster. And she could muster plenty if it came to that. She was a Grandmother and she had her family to care for and to protect.
Claire had been against it, years ago when they'd wanted to install a telephone out here in the barn. But now, she was happy they had overcome her objections. She answered the clamoring phone there in the front stall.
It was her Jack calling, saying they were leaving Riverton momentarily, and they should expect them in about an hour. "Tell Bobby to watch the sky, mama and then bring the pick-up. Have him drive my truck. We'll bring Ennis home by way of the old road, it's a lot smoother than that pasture for my Cowboy."
"I sure will son, you all be careful now. How is Ennis feeling, Jack? Oh, I can't wait to see you both! Your uncle Walter brought that bed over for Ennis today. I got him all set up in the parlor, next to your daddy."
"Okay, mama. Ennis is hurtin' some, but we'll fix him up, you'll see. Be home as soon as we can. I love you!"
"Oh Jackie, I love you too, son. Now you git along, I want you home under our own roof."
Jack had been swayed by gratitude and a surge of love for all that his mother was doing for them, and those words which he had never said to her over the telephone just popped right out of his mouth. Jack had no way of knowing how sorely she needed to hear those words on this very day.
Turning to Bobby, Claire saw that he was stretching and would soon be wide awake. Oh how much he looks like his daddy did at that tender age. "Bob, time to get up, shake a leg. Your daddy just called and they're on their way back. Be about an hour, he said. Need you to watch for 'em, Wants you to drive his pick up over there to get them. You awake now? 'Cause I'm going in to put the dinner in the oven. You can help me by bringing down some extra chairs, if you want."
While Bobby was occupied carrying chairs, Claire told John what she had decided. Said he was on Probation for an undetermined amount of time, and the only way he could secure a place in this household again, was to be civil to all the people under this roof.
"Civil" was the minimum level allowed, nothing less would be tolerated. She could have demanded "friendly" or "loving" but she was too realistic for that. Civil it is, for now. At last she said, "John, in case you don't understand what I mean by that, I mean you need to be respectful to each person that I've brought here into this home. Or you're gone. And that's it."
John was so angry at this sonavabitchin' turn of events that he could not speak, could not raise his eyes to look at her. Didn't know where he could look without wanting to bite something in half or spit. What was the world comin' to, when grandchildren sassed their elders, and women held sway over men! He fumed silently and cast his eyes down to the parlor floor. Seems he couldn't even have a decent fit of anger, she kept interrupting him, and talking to him.
"John, would you like to come to the table for supper with the family tonight?"
"No."
"Pardon, John?"
"No, Claire, thinkin' I'd rather have a tray here in my room. I'm right tired tonight. And kin ya pull the screen across, so's they cain't see me eat?"
"Of course I will, John, if yer that uncomfortable eating in front of folks."
Claire let out a long sigh, hadn't realized how hard she'd been holding her breath. She felt her shoulders begin to relax a tiny bit. Oh, how she could do with one of Ennis' shoulder rubs, right about now.
In a while, she heard Mauro's plane's engine and saw Bobby react. He came in and got his daddy's keys off the hook. She began to tick off everything she had wanted to do. The meal was ready and in the oven to keep warm. The table was set, drinks were in the refrigerator. Claire shook herself mentally, tried to calm her nerves. 'Stop yer pacin', they'll be here shortly.' she thought.
'Well finally! Here is the Famous sonofabitch in the flesh!' Both men, John C. Twist, and Ennis Del Mar had the same exact thought, at the same time.
They eyed each other warily, ready to jump if the other man so much as batted an eyelash.
"Hey Gran." sighed Jenny. They hugged while Bobby and Jack got Ennis maneuvered into the bed in the parlor. Claire rubbed her hair, and could feel the tension in her shoulders, as well. "Rough day dear?" she asked.
"A long rough day, Gran. None of us will be up late tonight, I.m sure."
Ennis was in a lot of pain with all the movement, they could tell from the furrows in his forehead. Not much else showed on his face, and not much of it was it's original color. He had been dressed to leave the hospital and make this trip, but Jack thought he'd probably be more comfortable out of his boots and jeans and so forth. Jack turned to look around for the duffle that Jenny had packed, and he looked so bewildered that both women went to him, and said they'd take it from here.
Claire approached her Ennis, and said, "Can I hug you, darlin'?"
Jenny came to the rescue. "Daddy hurts about everywhere on his body, Gran. He allows us to touch his right arm and hand, but even that was wrenched and slammed around, so we have to go gentle."
In an amazing replication of what Jack had done in the hospital, Claire took Ennis' right hand which he had raised to her, kissed his palm, then pressed his hand against her face. She was looking at him so lovingly, that John was instantly stung by the difference. She no longer looked at him that way. It surprised him how bad it hurt him to see that.
Jenny had found the right bag, and pulled out pajama bottoms, socks and an undershirt for her dad. Neither Ennis, nor Jenny, nor Claire wanted the women to start unbuckling his belt, and pulling off his clothes. So, they called for male help.
"Jack,you and Bobby want to help Ennis out of his boots and jeans, and into these p.j.s, please? I'm not going to bother him to wash him all over tonight. Tomorrow will be time enough."
Claire pulled the curtain stretcher, now Privacy Screen she had made for John, across in front of Ennis' bed, and went to help Jenny get moved in and to set up items for the sick room. She took Jenny's bag into her own bedroom and put it on a daybed she had borrowed from Iris. Walter brought it over to her, she had put fresh sheets on it this morning so Jenny wouldn't have to.
Jenny had found a stray magnet or two on Gran's refrigerator and stuck the schedule for her daddy's medicines and ice packs, and other treatments up there so all a them could keep up with it whatever he needed.
They could hear murmuring behind the screen, Jack asking Ennis if he wanted to wear the socks that Jenny had handed him; he did. They could also hear Ennis' grunts whenever it hurt too much to move, but move he must.
"You ready for this little blanket now, darlin'?" After Jack pulled the cover up over Ennis, he asked if that was enough, or did he want another blanket?
Fussing and loving, Jack was a sight to behold, and his daddy was the only person within range to behold him. Again the pang of jealousy hit him hard.
Gran asked Bobby to take Ennis' boots and clothing into her room, as she hadn't time to deal with them tonight. She'd take care of them in due time, but not right now. As Jenny walked in to put her sweater on her daybed, she saw Bobby kneeling on one knee, setting Ennis' boots next to Gran's chest of drawers. "Hey" she said shyly, then dropped her eyes.
Bobby stood, reached out his hand to her, and she clasped it. "Hey, sure glad to have you back here, Jen Jen. Seems like you been gone a month already."
"It's just been five days, silly."
"Yeah? Well, uh. . . I'm just sayin' . ."
Jenny took her hand back, and smiled at him. "Let's go help, Gran. Okay?"
As they walked out of the room, Jenny turned back to Bobby and told him "Feels real good to be back, Bob."
With Ennis somewhat comfortable, Gran asked Jack if he was due to have any medication now? Or could it wait till after they had eaten. And that of course begged the question, what and how was Ennis going to eat? Later.
All things in their own time.
Bobby had taken Jack's bag up to his room, and the pharmacy bags into the kitchen, so really the floor was free of obstructions, and they could settle down for a meal. But first Claire knew there was something that needed to be done, and she called everyone together at the foot of the sick beds.
The four able-bodied folks stood together. Claire began, "John, I'd like you to meet Ennis Del Mar, our new son, and this is his younger daughter, Jenny." John nodded wordlessly at them, meeting their eyes.
Ennis, this is Jack's daddy, and my husband, John Twist. Ennis tried to turn, as if to shake hands but could not do it, so raised his hand in a sort of wave.
"Jenny Del Mar, meet your grandpa Twist. You can work out another name between you, if you want."
With the formalities attended to, Claire suggested they put the meal on the table. She put herself and Bobby on that task. She sent Jenny to wash up; and assigned Jack to get his father and Ennis each a glass of water, and a fresh straw.
Jack looked over the sick room / parlor and saw nowhere to set a glass, so he went in search of a suitable table. In minutes he was back with the library table, no tellin' what had happened to the books that were on it up until one minute ago. He set it up between the two beds. It was the correct height to be useful for them. Jack saw that they were going to have to swap the beds around as Ennis only had use of his right hand, and couldn't reach a table between the beds. We'll do it later, after dinner he thought.
A new voice made itself heard then. John said "Jack, get Bobby; and you two men swap these beds around, will you? Otherwise your friend won't be able to reach his water glass."
"Sure, daddy. Good idea." he said. He and Bob made the change right away, and they found that it was a little thing, easily accomplished, but one that made a big difference.
Claire heard the suggestion and the tone of voice in which it was made. She bowed her head. "Lord if this is a sign, it's a welcome one. But I still ain't countin' my chickens. Amen."
The family, finally seated, held hands and Gran prayed; her usual praise and thankfulness even more pronounced, and her supplication for quick healing for all these loved ones, even more heartfelt. Amen.
They ate. The meal tasted wonderful. Hot, fresh, nutricious, but all that mattered was that it fueled their bodies so they could carry on with what needed doing. It was just Claire, Jack, Jenny and Bobby. They hadn't needed any extra chairs at all tonight. But hopefully in a few days they would. Each of them ate their fill, and then they all started cleaning up and putting food away, washing dishes, wiping down the stove, etc. Speedily the clean up was accomplished and they all sighed, ready for an early turn in.
Claire went to John's bedside and asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, as she was planning on turning in right away. He did. He was unsure enough on his own because his sense of balance and even his depth perception were in question. He preferred having her there, just in case.
When they returned, she got his covers and shook them out, straightened them and inquired if he wanted an extra blanket across the foot of his bed, in case it turned cooler in the night. Yes, he would like that, thanks. When she was sure he had everything he needed, she said good night and patted his hand.
She turned to Ennis' bed and ran her hand down his good arm, saying "If I haven't said it before, I'm so glad you're here, sweetheart. I've missed you so. I know Jack is going to look after you, so I'll just say good night." But as
she began to walk away, Claire thought of a problem. Turning back, she said, "what if you need something in the night, you don't have any way to get our attention.?"
"He'll be fine, mama, I'll take care of it." Jack told her. He had no intention of sleeping away from his Cowboy now that they were in the same house, so he would help Ennis to walk upstairs to bed, or he would crawl into this narrow bed with him. Either way, Jack was going to be on hand for whatever Ennis needed.
Jack helped Ennis go to the bathroom, he got his bed time medicine and made sure he got enough with that dropper, got an ice pack, and asked Ennis whether he preferred to stay in the bed downstairs, or if he wanted to go up to their room. Of course, Ennis wanted to go up to their room for the night, he indicated by pointing upstairs with his good hand.
Jack helped him up the stairs because his sock feet were kind a slippery on the stairs, and he could only hold the banister gingerly, could not grip it, as he was too sore. Jack walked behind Ennis, and made sure he got up there safely. He always liked walking upstairs behind Ennis Del Mar, in any case.
Jack told Ennis all the loving things that were in his heart, but he didn't hardly dare touch him anywhere. Ennis stroked Jack's thigh, which was about all he could reach, lying flat on his back like he was. Jack could see Ennis' eye drooping, and knew he was going to sleep. Jack said, "Can I kiss you good night, Cowboy? I'll be real gentle, I promise!" Ennis scratched on Jack's thigh twice, expecting him to know that was a "yes."
He got up on his hands and knees, bent over Ennis' face, leaned in so lightly, a butterfly would have made more impact, and kissed his lips, hardware and all. Jack hummed against those lips, and all that hardware, thinking that it wasn't all that much different from his harmonica. "You got my harmonica in your mouth, Ennis? That what all that is?"
Jack was dog-tired, but he could really get into this thing about kissing Ennis. He got off the bed entirely, knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed, and took each of his Cowboy's feet, cuddling them, scraping his raspy stubble along the soles and kissing his instep, his arch, and his ankle bones. When he had lavished affection on both feet, he got back on the bed, looked into Ennis' face, and said, "I love you, boy. I ain't never gonna lose you, you hear me? No matter what, I ain't never gonna let you outa my sight again."
In answer, Ennis raised his right hand to Jack's face and traced a finger along the lips he loved to kiss. Jack kissed that finger tip, and said, "Okay, I know. Let's go to sleep now, baby." And with that, Jack lay down stiffly on his own side of the bed, flat on his back so as not to rock the mattress too much with Ennis hurtin' over there.
Neither man slept very deeply until almost dawn, but they were together and that meant more than almost anything else in the world. When they woke, they became aware that the fingers of their hands were interlaced between them on the sheets. They smiled.
Jack said, "Come on, Cowboy, let's get you downstairs, and ready for the day."
Jack came around the bed and assisted Ennis in sitting up and then standing. He preceded him down the stairs, and then turned and helped him into the bathroom. Ennis had the one good hand, so he could take a piss without assistance from his man. Jack filled the wash basin with warm water, he soaped up a cloth and washed Ennis all over, it would be a week or more before he could get into the bath tub or shower. Even after he could move that much, he wouldn't be allowed to get the cast wet. So, this was the best of both worlds, and besides, it felt great to have his hands all over Ennis' body. And Ennis sure liked it too, in the refreshing way.
While washing Ennis' face, neck and ears, Jack noticed that he still had dirt and blood in his hair. "C'mere Cowboy." he said, pulling Ennis over to the bath tub. 'Hm, how we gonna do this?' he wondered. He rooted around in the cabinet under the sink and found an old rubber hand shower thing and told Ennis to kneel next to the bath tub, up close to the faucet end. Even though Ennis could only comfortably bend his head a little, it was enough for Jack to wet his hair and lather it all up for him, massaging his scalp a bit, then rinsing it clean, all without getting water all over the bathroom floor.
Briskly rubbing Ennis' head with a towel, drying those curls, Jack empathized with how wonderful it feels to have someone shampoo you. "Aahh, doesn't that feel great, bud?" And Ennis rubbed Jack's head with his good hand in agreement, pushing his head up and down in a "yes" nod.
He swatted Ennis on the butt, and said "Go on now, I've got to get myself cleaned up. I'll feed you when I get out there."
As Ennis started to walk away, feeling clean from head to toe, Jack said "wait" and when Ennis turned around, Jack pulled his pants' elastic out and down a bit so he could nuzzle his face into Ennis' groin, hair and cock. "Don't think I ever saw you "at ease" so to speak" he said smiling up into Ennis face, even if that face was hardly recognizable. "I like you that way, too."
Being injured, but not dead, Ennis was no longer "at ease". Jack noticed, and was immediately overcome by his need for this man. "Aww, Cowboy, let me help you here." He began with gentle lips, kissing, then sucking a bit, ever watchful of Ennis' reaction. As he got no push away from his man, he continued, increasing the intensity, and improving his position and leverage until he was kneeling on the bathroom floor with both arms wrapped around Ennis' ass, pulling him into his mouth with greedy gulps.
No doubt about it, Jack Twist is good at what he does, and before long, Ennis was stuffing a bath towel against his face to keep his grunts and groans of pleasure from waking the household. His aftershocks were so amazing; then he felt exhaustion overtake him. He went and sat on the toilet lid, head hanging down, and tried to recover his equilibrium, his breathing, and his strength. Only now did he begin to be aware of his complaining ribs.
Jack knelt in front of Ennis, and rubbed his feet. "I'm so sorry baby, did I hurt you?"
Ennis took Jack's chin in his right hand, and shook his head back and forth, as in a negative answer. And with the sounds in his throat, he said "uh uh" to indicate that he wasn't hurt. He pulled on Jack to make him stand up, and with his one good hand, he started fondling Jack. Jack realized Ennis' intention, and told him "No, not now. We'll take care a me later, don't you worry. Okay?"
The other four people in the house would need time in this room, so Jack thought it best not to stay in there all morning. Besides, he didn't want to hurry any of his time with Ennis. They were together now, and he planned to make sure they stayed that way.
Sunday, June 26, 1983
'What agony', thought Ennis. He could smell the sausage western omelet casserole that Mom made, it was his favorite. Everyone had some, even old JC over here next to him. But he could only have "Ensure". Morning, Noon and Night, Ensure. Gag. 'Wadn't that bad, actually, but the same thing over and over for every meal was . . .' Ennis stopped his train of thought as a sweet, warm memory slid over him. "Beans again?" bitched Jack. "Yep" Ennis replied between bites. He loved beans, and he loved bein' here on this cold mountain, and he loved…,couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. Never.
John called to Jack, "Your friend's been layin' here suckin' that same slop through a straw for over two weeks now. Think he would like it if you smooshed some a that omelet up and give him a tiny taste or two. Don't you?"
Jack walked into the parlor, to his daddy's bed. "Mighty nice a you to think about that, daddy. Bet yer right."
"Ennis, darlin', is my daddy right 'bout that? You hungerin' for somethin' else to taste? He knew he was teasin' Ennis with his double meanings, but he didn't plan to leave him unsatisfied, if the subject came up, so to speak."
Jack had his plate and his fork in his hands and seeing a look of interest in Ennis' eyes, proceeded to smash a nice bite of egg, He took the tiniest speck on a toothpick, and put the morsel inside the wires, hoping he was getting it on his tongue so he could at least have the taste. Jack watched as Ennis' throat moved, he saw him swallow it. "More?" Ennis looked up, so Jack prepared another tiny bit on the toothpick, same size, and repeated the process. Again he swallowed.
"That's it, Cowboy. Doc said you don't behave we could be havin' you pukin' an' nowhere for it to go. Uh, we don't even wanta go there. We'd have to take your wires off to save your sorry ass."
Jack continued, "Hope you did enjoy the taste, though, bud. But let's not risk your life over a nice bite of food. Okay? We can wait till those wires come off, right?"
By this time, Ennis was able to nod his head, and his eyes both sparkled in his somewhat less lumpy face. Jack had to assume that it was meant to be a smile. 'God, how I love this man.' he thought. Actually, if thoughts were seen in little idea boxes above our heads, there would have been two matching boxes at the same time. Ennis and Jack had each had that same thought, at the same time.
Jack said, "Maybe you should take a sip of your water, Ennis. Make sure your mouth and throat are clear now." And so he did.
Turning to his dad's bed, Jack said. "No matter, it was still nice a you to think of it, and ask for it for Ennis. By the way, you know, it's not like you haven't known his name for over twenty years. You can call him Ennis. You don't always have to say "your friend", daddy."
"Ungh." Was all the answer he got.
The next morning, John noticed Ennis was kind a restless, lookin' around and moving his legs a lot. He sat up on the side of his bed, facing his next door bed-mate, and asked, "What's wrong, Ennis?"
Shocked to be thus addressed, he looked at John, and pantomimed Writing.
"Oh, you want your writin' pad?" and Ennis nodded. He remembered Jenny had put it along with the pen in the drawer of their library table. It was within John's reach, so he opened the drawer and got out the paper and pen.
He slid them across their joint table till Ennis could reach them, and then watched to see what the young man would write. First he wrote, "thank U."
John nodded in acknowledgement. Then Ennis wrote, "want my clothes on."
Well, everyone in the family was busy elsewhere. Jenny was helping Gran weed the garden, and pick the tomatoes, cucumbers and green peppers that had ripened over the past two days. Bobby was mucking out the horse stalls and Jack was out seeing to the herd, at the moment. 'Sides, John had no earthly idea where they'd put that boy's clothes at. Or he'd gettem for him.
His brow, furrowed in thought, John looked at Ennis. "What'cha wantem for? Ain't goin' nowhere." Somehow, John could not understand why, that statement brought a big smile to Ennis Del Mar's eyes. Ennis was lost in memory again, back on Brokeback Mountain in their early days, his and Jack's, when they were just gettin' to know each other, and to tease about things like a harmonica out of tune. He remembered he was messing with the tent and fussing that "it ain't right!" and Jack had come back almost with the same voice as old JC there, and said. "Well leave it alone. It Ain't goin' nowhere." All the restlessness left Ennis, and he settled down and began to doze.
Then he remembered one more thing, wrote on his pad and showed it to John. "Do your exercise yet?" John replied, "No. You?" Ennis shook his head 'no'. So, John reached into their drawer one more time and pulled out the little rubber balls, his green one and the new red one for Ennis.
"Think you can catch it, Del Mar?" Surprised, Ennis looked up as John rolled the ball across their table in Ennis' direction. He caught it after fumbling with it, and John seemed to think that was good. Until, on a lark, Ennis shoved it back again, in the opposite direction. John had to think fast to grab it, and without a second's hesitation shoved it back at Ennis.
'I must be going bonkers', thought Ennis. 'Sounded like the old man giggled.'
Ennis settled into his routine, squeezing the ball, counting. Squeezing the ball, counting. Then he heard JC clear his throat, which didn't sound like it needed clearing. "You ever play checkers, Del Mar?"
TBC