Im a Smartass And Didn't Get Killed

Screams everywhere, it's been like that for a while now. Nothing I can do to help them because once you passed out, or hit you're practically a goner. It fucking sucks when you realize that, fucking sucks ass but that's now the reality I've been forced to live in. It's the end of the world, the end of all life as we know it. But unlike the rest of humanity, I know we were fucked. There would be no government saving us or god. It was just us and death by aliens . The foolish notion that there will be some type of savior waiting or kicking ass somewhere is just foolish thinking and I ain't no hero.

All I've got is my knowledge of those things and how to get some type of help. If you can count a 7 foot odd looking, humanoid alien that could kill me at any time because I pissed him off help, than yes. Dame it just keeps sounding getting better all the time.

Wait a moment, its quiet in this part of the forest, yeah, just a little too fucking quiet if you ask me. I stopped, and listened for any sound. That's when I heard the sound no one, and I mean no one wants to hear. The growling of a Xenomorph and I turned around to come face to face with one. I didn't think, as a matter of fact im sure I didn't think because if I had I would a pissed myself out of fear. Instead my fight or flight instincts kicked in and I just acted.

I ducked and rolled right behind the tree to the right of me. I toke the covers off both ends of my lacrosse stick as it was charging at me. "Come get me you mother fucker!" I ready myself in a defensive position. It jumped on in the air and just as it was landing on top of me I crouched to the left and stabbed it in the shoulder blades.

The acidic blood gushed and its tail made a sweep and hit me in the side, flinging my body about 3 yards away. I slid down the tree I hit. Fuck that hurt. I looked to my side. No doubt I got a fractured rib or ribs as well. I used my stick to stand up as it was charging. When it was about 10 feet from me it was suddenly grabbed in netting and hoisted high in the air. It was struggling as the net kept getting smaller and smaller. I've seen this before. I looked around carefully for a simmer or something in the air but it was a no go.

"Fuck!" I muttered. I turned to leave in case some of its friends heard its cries of pain and bumped into a chest; a very hard, muscular chest. I looked up and saw an uncloaking Predator. Now let me tell you that I almost craped my pants and im not afraid to admit it. The movies didn't really do them justice. Not only do they look formidable they allude it as well. It's like it comes from the very pores of their body. Oh holy son of fucking Mary.

It ignored me and walked up to the now dead Xeno. It released it and began cutting the body for trophies. This wasn't a new blood, no this one looked like an very old seasoned hunter. How do I know this you may ask? Well if the multitude of scars and god knows what else or the things on its hair I would have no fucking idea. When it was done it attached the trophies to its belt and walked off. However, he was uncloaked and I took this as an invitation to follow.

We had been walking a while before I felt it somewhat safe to talk. "So Mr. Blooded hunter dude. Where are we going?" it didn't answer. Not even a nod. And if anyone knows me, I hate being fucking ignored. "Aye, ugly dude! I asked a fucking question!" I was against a tree faster than I could blink. Okay, bad idea, fucking bad idea. I guess its time to make friends with death. "Shhhhh! Ooman! You'll get us ambushed with that big loud ass mouth of yours" it hissed at me in fluent English. "..Huh?...Wait you fucking speak English? Then why you don't answer my questions?" oh real smooth you've done it now.

It growled at me," If you don't shut that mouth I may just decide to kill you.". It dropped me like a sack of potatoes. I got up, grabbed my stick and grabbed its arm while it was walking away from me" Im not just some fucking animal you can kill anytime you fucking please. Im a human women, and do that again. I'll kick your ass and not think twice" it stepped towards me and released its flying blades in my direction. I ducked just in time for them to sever the heads of two Xeno.

I got into a fighting stance. "Okay karate movies and anime show me what you've got!" I charged at a Xenomorph as it was charging at me. It slashed at my arm. Now I that hurt but the idea of me dyeing a painful death made me not really care as I slashed at it again and it fell dead. Just as I was feeling that maybe I would have a decent chance of getting out of this alive. I was grabbed by the leg. I kicked." Fucking let go! " I kicked with my other leg as it dragged me towards it clawed my hips succeeding in ripping part of it. My birthmarks fully showing but at the time I didn't care to cover them because no one cared about the weirdo girl's issues right now. I finally got a good grip on my lacrosse stick and stabbed it as it was stabbing me in the side with its tail. It died and I passed out from the loss of blood.

When I came to I was in a dark, wet place. I groaned sitting up. There was a fire and then I saw him again: sitting across me making a fire." Ahhh fuck! Now I have to be nice cuz you didn't leave me out there. Fuck good upbringing! Just fuck it." I frowned and looked to my side. It was bandaged and my clothes is taters. " …Okay, I admit it could be worse though" I went quiet." So uh…dude I don't know your name and well I can't just keep calling ya dude"

It looked to be thinking for a bit. Or I guess thinking, cuz well you already know its face looks nowhere near ours, not one fucking bit." I am blooded hunter Ra'vus.." I smiled. Okay maybe this might not be so bad. "Okay, so Ra'vus, the name's Shay'na and um thanks for not leaving me out there to…you know. Get eatin."

" I could leave you there to get eatin as you so plainly put it but I did not. You could be useful but if you expect to stay alive you will show me just how useful you are." I gave him one up and down look and frowned. "If you think im going anywhere near your penis then you has GOT to be kiddin me. I'm not into green dicks." I replied thinking more out of my ass then logically. He responded with, "My dick is not green it is brown, almost like the color of your skin." My response was a hell no look in which he looked smug.

"No that is not what I want you for. I would break that tiny little body of yours if I were to mate with you. We could have offspring but they would most likely be weak or kill you in child birth." He turned back to his weapons. "I've been watching your kind for a while and know of some of your female's romanticized view of us" my mouth dropped like all the way down to hell. " that was a joke? You're fucking sick in the head but.." I grinned" I like the way you think...mmm so how about I make a deal. I stay mostly out of your way while hunting and even help you. In exchange for helping find my friends and possibly help me to survive. What'd a say?" "Okay, I will do this but be sure that when you fall or do get in my way I will kill you." "Okay agreed" and that's how my mouth, my unfiltered words got me to not get killed….or that's just yet to be seen.

OKAY SO I DID THIS IN ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF. NOT BAD I HOPE..PLEASE READ AND REVIEW IT KEEPS ME MOTOVATED IT REALLY DOSE..r&r UNTILL NEXT TIME!