A Better Idea
A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.
For bbmiswear
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Wednesday, June 29th, 1983
Sure enough, the storm turned out to be a Frog Strangler, blowin' sideways and thunderin' to beat the band. Frequent bolts of lightning kept the sky lit up and cast a greenish glow on everything below.
Bobby loved storms, felt the power all around; the electricity in the air. But daddy had taught him well. Up here in Wyoming, you're so high up and totally exposed to the weather. You don't never stand in a window or doorway and watch the lightning, and you don't never get near a telephone nor a telephone pole in a storm like this one.
All across the horizon, as far as the eye can see there are telephone poles, and the lightning will strike anything sticking up high, like a tent pole, or a telephone pole, and radiate right down that pole seeking ground. It's even been known to jump to a person standing near a pole, to continue it's path to ground. It'll find the path of least resistance, and it just loves a human body to shoot through. Electrocution usually means death, daddy said. No second chances. Bobby had been warned.
So, having had "the talk" about storms, Bobby wanted to do something fun while they were stuck indoors. He watched Gran and Jenny working on their sewing stuff; they acted like it was great fun. It looked B o r i n g !
Daddy was concentrating on making his feed list. Ennis was working on his jaw exercises, now that he had some of the rubber bands off. Even JC was busy looking at a seed catalog and doing his exercise.
He sat on a chair near Gran and Jenny; he kept kicking the chair leg, and tapping his fingers on the table. Gran looked disapprovingly at him.
Jenny just kind of smirked in his direction. "Don't you have anything to do, Bobby?" she asked.
"Nuh uh" he said dejectedly.
"Want to read my book?"
"What's it called?"
"Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. It's real good", she said, "it's by Judy Blume. Oh, and I have a new one, it's called Forever."
Bob could hear the men snickering. "No thanks."
Gran remembered something. "Jackie, don't you have The Call Of The Wild upstairs somewhere? I bet Bobby'd enjoy that."
Jack mumbled something unintelligible.
Gran wanted Bobby to have a satisfying time even though he was stuck inside due to the weather. "Hey Bob, you got all those boxes to unpack. From your mama. Was real nice a her to ship all that up here. Had so much goin on when they got here last week, I had your dad 'n Ennis put them in storage along the attic wall in their room. Can't all be clothes, might be some a your fun things too. Why don't you go do that? It's goin to need doin sooner or later anyway. Take those boxes in your own room, unpack them. Fix your room up yourself, make it look like it's your own, and not your daddy's, huh?"
So, that's what he did. Found stuff he'd forgotten he had. It was almost like Christmas morning. True, he'd been just fine up here without all this stuff, but it was fun to open it up and remember. Problem was, it brought back the memories of living in Childress, in the house with Mom and Dad.
He hadn't really been thinking about that much; it was all he could do everyday to think about the here and now. But seeing these books, pictures, ribbons, baseball trophies, well it brought his whole previous life flooding back. Imagine. Bobby felt as if he were looking at the life of a child he'd once known. Bore no resemblance to himself. A different person now.
Heaving a resigned sigh he decided to get busy and unpack all this stuff. He began by going into dad's room. He remembered seeing some extra hangers in there. Got them and started hanging up his shirts and pants.
These clothes brought thoughts of high school. Soon he'd have to register for his senior year, but this time it would be at Crook County Consolidated. Brad and Kyle were going to take him over and show him around on Monday. They had it all planned out. They'd show him the locker rooms, classrooms and labs. Said they'd show him where to find the lunch room, too. Most important, they're going to show him the Cougar Trophy Case in the front hall by the Prinicpal's Office. Said they had something to prove this year, and hoped to have his help on it.
Bobby thought he might go out for football. If he did, that would mean starting practice real soon. Maybe he wouldn't, depending on how dad 'n Ennis felt about the time away from chores, and the transportation and all. He made a mental note to talk to them about it today. He was going out for baseball though, no question about that.
All the while his mind was off musing and roaming the halls of an unknown high school, Bob kept hanging up clothes, shaking them real good, hoping Gran wouldn't make him iron them.
One box held socks, underwear, sweaters; he found it was all folding clothes. He checked the one dresser in the room and found it still held a bit of his dad's stuff, old or new, Bobby didn't know. But he took it all out and put it across the hall, on top of a box. Didn't see no dresser, so he just stacked it for the moment. He began moving his own things into the drawers, noting that the newspaper Gran had used to line the drawers was from 1961. Oh, that is so funny. He sat on the floor reading old comics and advertisements from the time when his daddy was the exact same age he is now. 'My dad read this when he was 17. I sure can't imagine daddy being 17. No way.' thought Bobby.
Opening yet another box, Bobby's eyes went wide. 'Oh, mama, I can't believe you bothered to ship all this crap! This ugly suit, and those other dress pants with the pleats. You know I always hated them.' Bobby was inwardly railing at his mother, now what in the world was he going to do with these? 'Gotta ditch'em, that's for sure.'
He laid the hated clothing aside till everything else was in place. He took his daddy's items: couple airplanes, a horse and rider, two books, and some blue ribbons, over to his dad's and Ennis' new room. 'Looks like they have some furniture issues, same as I do. That damn little old bed, I'm still in it. 'Course nobody expected Ennis to be hurt bad, and need care, and everything to turn upside down like it did.' Bobby's mind kept up a running commentary.
When his room proudly showed off his own possessions, he felt good; better even than he had expected. One thing of his dad's he kept in there was that little gun in the gun rack. Looked home made, that rack. And he wondered if daddy would tell him the story.
Bobby thought he would ask to buy a new corkboard, have a place to pin up ribbons and notes. Reminders about assignments and stuff. Whew, he stood up, dusted his hands across his pant legs and looked around. 'All done except those hideous clothes, mama whatever were you thinkin'?' He had enough hangers left so he fitted the clothes on hangers and took all the hangers, holding them high up above his head, looking for a place to stick them where he wouldn't have to see them and they would not be discovered by daddy or Gran. 'They'd probably like'em and make me wear'em, just like mama did!'
Noting that his dad's boots, some jeans and a coat or two were still in the closet, Bobby just shoved it all far back on the rack. 'I know daddy has no closet space yet. They'll buy a wardrobe or somethin', meantime it ain't hurtin' nothin' here. Got plenty a room.' he thought generously.
'Aha! Here's a nice little hidey hole if I ever saw one. Looks like daddy had something he didn't want to wear too, jes' like me. Move it a second, yeah, and put mine back in there, outa sight. Heh heh, what is this? Kinda dark in here in this closet.'
Bringing his mystery item over and holding it up to the window, he could see that it was just a couple a shirts. Nice denim one, other one light colored. 'Why would daddy stick these back in the back? Eeewww, what's all over the sleeves?' Bobby wasn't sure what he had here.
He clomped down the stairs in typical teenaged boy fashion, and stopping on the second to last step, held them up for Jack to see.
'Oops, maybe I shoulda waited. Looks like daddy 'n Ennis are having words.' But too late! His mouth was open and the question was coming out.
"Daddy ! What's this?" asked Bobby
Jack tore his eyes away from Ennis' face, knowing he'd have hell to pay for the way he handled this, his fear had overtaken his brain on this one. He turned to look, saw what Bobby had in his hand . . . . and everything went black.
Jack hit the floor like a rock. He did not softly crumple down, he went down Bang. Hit the side of his head.
Claire went to get a cloth, and doused it with cold water. Waving his hands around, John said "Claire maybe you should get a cold rag for him."
Ennis sat on his knees beside Jack, holding his head up and watching a bump rise on his temple. He wondered 'What the hell just happened?' "Hey, Jack!
Darlin' what's the matter? Can you hear me?" Ennis called softly as he patted Jack's cheek. He took the cold rag from Mom and began running it all over Jack's face and neck.
Bobby had dropped the hanger and raced to his dad as soon as he saw his eyes roll back.
Jack opened his eyes and saw five pairs of eyes looking back at him. "What's goin' on?" he asked. "Why's everybody starin' at me?" Then he realized he was on the floor, and memory came flooding back. The tears began to roll out of his blue eyes and down his cheeks. Well, that just about flummoxed every one of them.
Sniffling, he wriggled and told Ennis, "Let me sit up, baby."
Looking at Bobby, he said "go gettem, bring'em over here." When Bobby looked confused, he said, "the shirts; bring'em to me son."
Ennis held a supporting hand behind Jack's back, and said "You wanta stand up, bud? Git up, sit in a chair?"
Jack's answer surprised them all. "No, and you may wanta sit down here on the floor with me, Cowboy." Ennis eased himself to the floor beside Jack.
Looking at Bobby, Jack said, "Son, hand that hanger to Ennis, if you will."
Jack was silent, giving Ennis a moment to absorb what he was holding. Ennis didn't need that long.
By this time, Gran saw what all the commotion was about and she knew. She had known for over twenty years what was hanging in the back of Jack's closet. And what it meant.
John said, "What is it?"
Jenny looked from one face to the other and just looked confused.
Bobby wondered if he was in big trouble, but somehow he didn't think so.
Ennis eyes reacted just like Jack's, the tears started rolling down his face, but he smiled so big, and he took Jack in his arms as best he could considering all the plaster of paris he had to contend with, and kissed him for all he was worth. in consideration of his wires, he kissed him gently.
Ennis was the unexpected spokesman. Jack had been holding this secret for over two decades and he was still crying, his hand holding Ennis's hand, and rubbing the shirts. Ennis began, "ya'll might wanta sit down for a minute. What Bobby found . . . .where were these, Bob?"
"Uh, hidden in the back a daddy's closet. Well, now my closet."
"What Bobby found is the two shirts Jack 'n me was wearin' the day we had to bring the sheep down from Brokeback Mountain in 1963. The blood on the sleeves here, is mine. I couldn't face coming down offa that mountain. I knew what people would think of us. I fell in love with a man up there, and we were not going to be able to be together anymore, like we had been for two months. I knew that, and I was just crazy with grief. Jack, my darlin' Jack, tried to tease me out of it, he lassoed me, and said we had to go. But we got to wrasslin' and I just lost it. Turned mean and angry, I wanted to stay up there that bad. My nose got bloodied. . . . " at that, they both rubbed their fingers across that old blood, and Ennis took those sleeves together, and rubbed them down his face. His crying got worse for a time.
Ennis looked at Jack. "You hung my shirt inside a yours, darlin'."
"Ennis, you know I wanted my arms around you always, to love you and protect you. This was the best I could do." They put their foreheads together, unable to continue for a minute.
John C. Twist was gulping back tears into his throat, and knew he'd have some thinkin' to do about what this meant.
Jenny was reeling from the impact of her calculation. '1963, they fell in love, so they were 19. Junior's age. Only they have stayed apart all these years 'cause someone somewhere said it wasn't right for two men to love each other. This can't be right. There's something I'm not understanding. There has to be more to it. Who would have that much power?'
Ennis regained his voice, and continued, "Like I said, Jack was trying to jolly my out of my sadness, we wrassled and my nose got bloodied. We both put our sleeves up to my face to stop the blood, and this is how both sleeves got like this. We each changed our shirts, not speaking to each other. Well, there's one thing I need to tell ya, about that. I hit him. I hit my Jack right in the face. I hit my Jack. He wasn't expecting that and I put a bruise on him that woulda lasted awhile… " Ennis was sobbing so hard it was pretty hard to understand what he was saying.
Gran said, "Yeah, on his left cheek. It did last awhile, but not as long as the other hurts."
Ennis reached over, pulled Jack's face to him and kissed the spot on Jack's left cheek that he had bruised so long ago. "I'm sorry for hitting you, Jack, for taking my pain out on you, my darlin' " Jack just nodded, and smiled at Ennis "I know that, baby."
Ennis' attention returned to the family members in the room around them. "Anyway, we finally made it down that mountain, not talking, slipping and sliding and feeling like our lives were going down the chute with us, and not knowin' anythin' we coulda done about it, at all. Got the sheep back, we got paid, and then it was time to leave each other."
"We just kept standing there, waiting for the other one to think up a miracle; think a some way we could stay together, but neither of us could. And we parted. This was the hardest thing either one a us ever had to do in our lives, I guess."
Ennis took a deep breath, and sighed. "I asked Jack if he'd seen my shirt, I couldn't believe I'd left it up on that mountain. Didn't have too many shirts, in them days, you understand. I was kinda watchin' my pennies."
Everyone laughed, knowing nothing had changed in that department.
"Never knew till today, that my romantic man, my love, my Jack, had stolen my bloody shirt to have as a keepsake." He put his good arm around Jack and squeezed him as tight as he could, that damn cast in the way. With his arm still around Jack, Ennis looked up at Bobby, and softly smiled at him. "Thank you, son. Thank you for delivering this gift from the past. It's so very special to me."
Looking at Jack, Ennis said, "Got anythin' to say for yourself, Twist? You dirty, low-down shirt thief?"
Soberly Jack raised his eyes to Ennis' face and said, "Yeah, I do. I loved you so much then, Ennis; and I love you so much more, now. I can't imagine how much more I'll love you in another twenty years."
Claire noticed that her husband had lost the battle with his tears, and they were rolling unchecked down his face even though she knew he had a clean handkerchief in his back pocket. She went to him, handed him his own hanky and took him in her arms. "Didn't have nothin' to do with nobody convertin' anybody, did it?" he asked her amazed. "No, it didn't, John. It had to do with the right two people finding each other, sweetheart."
Everyone was lost in their own thoughts and feelings, and had turned away from Jack and Ennis.
"Please don't ever leave me, Ennis. Promise me that you won't make me hurt like that again, make me hang onto some old shirts again, some old memories again to survive, to try to keep my sanity. Not now, not after all we've been through, especially these last two months together."
Ennis struggled to his feet, his cast making him feel off balance. Without answering Jack's last remarks, he pulled Jack to stand up beside him. "Uh, folks, could you all gather round please?" Jahn, Claire, Bobby and Jenny all turned toward the couple now standing, and waited.
I have something to say to Jack, and I'd like you all as our witnesses.
Ennis turned Jack to face him, took Jack's hand in his good one, and then thinking of something important, picked up the shirts and placed them over their joined hands.
He said, "I, Ennis Del Mar, take you Jack Twist, to live with, as my Love, My Life Partner, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forever and ever without end. I make this solemn vow before these witnesses. Our bloody shirts signify our past, these family members signify our future, and the rest is up to us."
Jack thought, 'Damn! He really did it! I can't believe this is happening! Here I am tear-streaked and sporting a lump on my head. My hair's probably stickin' up all over too. I always thought I'd look better if I got married again.' He was just grinning from ear to ear and hanging onto Ennis' hand.
Bobby cleared his throat. "Uh, Dad? Y'got anythin' YOU wanta say to Ennis?"
Ennis was still standing there, facing Jack, holding his hand, waiting and wondering what would happen next.
Jack's face turned somber, then thoughtful. Looking into Ennis' brown beautiful, love-filled eyes, he said "I, Jack Twist, take you Ennis Del Mar to live with, to love with, and to be my Life Partner, my Husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health, for all time, never ending, into eternity. I make this vow to you Ennis, and before these witnesses, our family and our shirts. Forever, Amen.
Ennis just stood there, amazed at the beautiful heartfelt words Jack had said and let the love course through his veins, in pure happiness. Jack was looking so deeply into him with those blue eyes, the blue of the ocean, while their vows solidified in their hearts.
Nobody moved. It was quiet. Until Bobby said, "You may kiss the Grooms."
And they did. Putting the shirts over his shoulder, Ennis took Jack in his one good arm and one cast and gave him the most romantic kiss - but Jack pulled away. He said, "Not like that, Ennis. C'mere." And he put his arms around Ennis too. So, the two equal Life Partners, both Husbands, held each other, and kissed their first official married/committed kiss.
Everyone, including John, clapped. Gran said, "I think we need a wedding supper now. Jenny let's see what we got that we can celebrate with. I wonder if we still have some a that cherry cake?"
Jack said, "C'mere, baby." as he pulled Ennis over by the door, away from the others.
Ennis nuzzled his face, "What?"
"Look at me, Ennis!" Ennis raised his eyes to Jack's face.
"This ceremony we just had, it's official enough for me. It's my life being handed to you, Ennis. But . . ."
"Now you're going to put conditions on it, Twist?"
Ennis didn't know whether to start getting riled yet, or wait to hear what his husband had to say. Guessed he'd wait, since he never had a husband before.
Jack took Ennis' face in his hands, put their foreheads together, and said, "The day EVER COMES when two men can stand in front of the judge, or the justice of the peace, and get legally married, in front of god, and the world, you and me are gonna be first in line. You hear me, Del Mar?"
Ennis said, "Yes, sir, darlin' !" And then he added, "Is that the day you're gonna take my name, Jack?"
"Ha, you'll take MY name, dumbass!"
"Jack, I got something serious I wanta say to you. I love you with all my heart, and I'm happy we got married an' all, but I am angry as sin about somethin' too!"
"What's that, baby?"
"This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation!" said Ennis under his breath in deference to the women in the room.
"What is, baby?"
"Jack Twist, you know as well as I do, that this should be our FUCKIN' 20TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, and not our Wedding Day. We shouldn'ta been apart all those years, making those fishin trips, hidin our love from the world, drinkin' our lonely selves to death. We shoulda had our wedding in 1963, Jack!"
And Ennis cried bitter tears of loss and anger at living in a world of judgement and hatred. Part of the anger was aimed at himself, for buying into the bullshit all those years. Anger at himself too, for hurting Jack, as well as himself.
When Ennis would let him, Jack held him tightly, saying "I know, baby, It's alright, C'mere. Shh. It's alright." When his tears were calmed, and he only had a few hiccups and shudders left in him, Jack let him go and walked over to the Buffet. He picked something up and brought it over to Ennis.
"Ya know I agree with everything you have said, Ennis. Then look here; this is all I can say about those 20 years, darlin'. "
Jack turned over the object in his hand to show Ennis. It was a picture frame that held the school pictures of Junior, Jenny and Bobby. Gran had put all three kid's latest picture in the same frame. "You feel better now? Not sayin' it was right, us bein' apart. I am saying, we wouldn't have these kids we have now."
"You pack a powerful argument, Twist. You know I wouldn't trade my kids for nothin', not a million dollars. Is that why I love you so much?"
"Yep, that's it." laughed Jack, "That and the fact that you can't help yourself, can't keep your hands offa my ass, neither!"
They went in to their wedding supper.
Not too long after the Wedding Supper, the newlyweds went upstairs to their room. They hung the shirts on a hook where they could see them, and marveled at all this day had held.
Jack said, "Ya know the only reason I agreed to marry ya, dontcha?"
"Fer my money?" asked Ennis.
"Nope." said Jack, gonna make my own money.
"Ta keep me from cryin' like a little girl?"
"Nope, too late fer that a long time ago."
"Then why?" asked Ennis
"So we could have a Wedding Night! You know how long I been waitin' for you to get well, Ennis Fuckin Del Mar?"
They stripped their clothes off quickly, being very experienced at it, and dropped them on the floor. As they got into bed, they heard something rolling across the floor. What the…?
Jack flipped the lamp on, and Ennis walked over to the corner of the room to retrieve the blue agate that had rolled out of his pocket.
"What the hell is it, Ennis?
"Just a marble."
"Where'd it come from, Cowboy?"
"My pocket."
"And what pray tell, is my new husband (pause. . .sigh) carrying a marble around in his pocket for?"
"Well, husband, (pause . . smile. . .sigh) it belonged to my daddy."
"Uh, husband darlin', (smile) thought you wadn't too keen on your daddy."
"Ain't."
"Then why?"
Ennis sighed, got up and walked around to Jack's side of the bed, and held the marble up to the lamplight. "What color is that, husband?"
"I guess blue, why?"
"Yer right, turns out it's the same color as my husband's eyes. That's why I been carrying it in my pocket all this time."
"C'mere ta me, you romantic man." said Jack.
After they made sweet wedding night love, they held each other in bed and felt like the luckiest people in the whole entire world.
"How long you been carrying that agate, Ennis?"
"Oh, not long, Jack. Found it in my mom and dad's trunk. Saw what it reminded me of, and felt I'd like to have it with me always. Not for him, but for you. It was about the same time as I bought you that red heart key chain."
"I love you, Mr. Twist." Jack said to Ennis.
"Oh, I love you more, Mr. Del Mar!" Ennis said to Jack.
TBC