A Better Idea
A/N: Annie's characters; My imagination.
Chapter Thirty
Thursday, June 30th, 1983
Waking up on their very first day of married life together, Ennis and Jack looked over and grinned at each other. Ennis pulled on Jack with his one good arm, and Jack fitted himself up against him, his head on his shoulder. He turned his face up for a long, sweet gentle kiss.
"Ah, old married folks now. Time was, my man was crazy-ass wild about me, would devour me with his mouth, wrap his arms around me tight as could be. Guess the honeymoon's over." taunted Jack.
Ennis just smiled. "jes' you wait, boy. I get these wires off, and this cast off, ya won't be safe within two miles a me. I'll wear that ass out every night, Twist!"
"Promises, promises." Jack smirked, knowing it was true. In the meantime, he reached down to caress Ennis' growing erection. As usual, he had perfect access. Ennis wore those sleep pants around the family, but in the privacy of their room, the sleep pants hit the floor and he slept naked, summer and winter.
"Wished to hell we had us a bathroom right up here; got plenty a room fer one." griped Ennis.
Taken aback, Jack said "What brought that up? Thought we was gettin' somewhere, here." And to indicate where "here" was, he leaned down and kissed Ennis' semi hard cock.
"Well, we are, bud, but I gotta piss! I'm on a liquid diet, r'member? Yum! Applesauce, jello and Ensure fer my weddin' supper, whoo whee, can't beat that with a stick! Know you was jealous, had to eat yer meat loaf, mashed p'tatas, green beans and uh, whut was that other thing? OH! Cherry cake!"
"And f'I run downstairs to the bathroom now, someone'll likely be up and around, and then I come back up here for a couple hours . . . What'll they think?"
Getting out of bed, Jack threw a look over his shoulder, "They'll think we're on our fuckin' honeymoon!" Turning fully back to face Ennis, with a big grin he said "They'll think we're on our honeymoon, fuckin'." Jack thought that was the cleverest thing he'd ever said. Chuckling, he started looking though the items in the attic storage area.
Behind him, Ennis was laughing as best he could around those wires at his goofy-assed husband, and enjoying the view immensely as Jack bent over, moving stuff around. "Get back over here, Twist, what're you doing? You can't abandon me like this, s' against the . . uh . . marital code!"
Jack looked across the room at his dumbass husband, He was in quite a good mood this morning, cracking lame jokes, and bitching about his liquid diet. Jack knew if the tables were reversed, that he would have gone stark raving mad by now, not being able to eat solid food. Ah, look here, he found an ice cream maker! 'Bet Ennis would surely like some ice cream better than most a that glop he has ta eat right now.' he thought, pulling the box aside for the moment.
Searching a bit further, Jack hit pay dirt. "AHA! I found your chamber pot, yer Highness!"
Ennis Del Mar knew what a chamber pot was. Many folks he knew growin' up, did not have indoor plumbing, or even if they did, they did not have it upstairs. So rather than go to the outhouse in the middle of the night, they kept a pot upstairs to piss in, when it was inconvenient to go out. He looked with interest at what Jack had found. He was hopin' it wasn't one a those fancy, ceramic ones with painted flowers and such.
Well aw'right. Jack found a white n' black enamel pot and lid, that was made to be used in a full sized wooden chair. Folks sometimes kept them in a sick room or bedroom. Jack didn't find the chair to go with it, but no one could say they didn't have a pot to piss in!
Gratefully, Ennis took advantage of the pot, put the lid back on it, and set it in the farthest corner of their room.
"So that's where you want our new bathroom to be?" Jack asked.
"Hell yeah, that'd work. But it prob'ly oughta be over 'long that wall, right above where the water pipes and such are for the downstairs bathroom. Don't you think that'd be better, Jack?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"What's on your mind now, bud? Ya don't sound too happy." said Ennis.
"Ain't complainin', Ennis; just seems like we're puttin' down some roots here in this house. First it was the porch, and now yer plannin' to build a bathroom too. That's fine, I guess. Jus' havin' ya with me is what I always wanted."
Jack looked over at Ennis with questions in his eyes. Ennis looked down and mumbled "well . . ." and waited for Jack to continue sayin' his piece.
"Just don't know that I wanna commit our future to bein' here, livin' with three generations under this roof, ya know? Issat what you want, Cowboy?"
Warming to his topic, Jack continued, "I probly wasn't being realistic, myself, guess I dreamed we'd live jus' like we do on the mountain only with a roof over our heads. Walk around with clothes on only when absolutely necessary, like when it's freezin'; lay in the grass makin' love under a shade tree whenever we wanted." Jack blushed sheepishly and looked down at the floor, smiled at his fondest daydreams. "Shit." he acknowledged.
Truthfully, Ennis had been relishing having all the family around them. Been alone so long, felt good to him, like a warm summer sun shinin' right on his face. Plus with him bein' hurt, it was real good being pampered and petted by Mom and Jenny, not to mention Bobby and Jack, too. Even old J.C. surprised him by offering to play checkers with him if he got bored. He hadn't thought how it would be when he was healthy again. Guess he and Jack would want to be on their own like they'd always . . like Jack always dreamed. Ennis learned young to never dream, to never want, to never hope. "Ain't got nuthin, don't need nuthin'." His mother had told him and Maggie, and K.E. time and time again.
"Hell, I don't know, Jack. Here we are, talking 'bout livin' together, in a real home; see'in your face when I wake up every mornin' n' go to sleep every night. It's more'n I ever dreamed of, Jack. Don't give a fuck where we live. You know that."
They were both on their backs on the end of the bed where they'd been sitting. Had lain back, knees bent, looking at the ceiling, just daydreaming about a future together. They turned toward each other and linked their hands.
Jack groaned. "I wanta love you, Ennis. I've missed ya so bad."
"Me too, darlin'. We c'n try it."
"Okay, scootch up on the bed, Ennis. Oh, ya can't scootch. Here, gimme yer hand." Jack pulled Ennis to his feet, and walked him around to the side of the bed where he normally slept. "Now, lay down. You want your pilla, or not?"
With Ennis almost in the middle of the bed, Jack joined him and began to press loving, wet kisses all over him, starting with his mouth, then that soft spot, the skin between his neck and collarbone. This was the place he started with each time they made love. Jack sucked a bit, looking to see if he'd put his brand on Ennis. Ah, yes, there were the little red prickles. 'My man now. Always been mine.' he thought possessively.
Gently, gently Jack kissed on down Ennis' body, licking the skin he loved and nuzzling the sandy colored hair on his chest and belly. He looked over to see if he was causing any pain when he got to the ribs, but Ennis smiled that he was more than okay.
Every inch of the journey from Ennis' head to his toes and back up was tenderly kissed, licked, nibbled, inspected, and cherished by his man, mumbling and humming in appreciation.
"Jesus fuckin' . . . ya look so good t'me, baby." Jack's running commentary let Ennis know how he looked, how he felt and how much he was missed, "gittin my hands on you again is like I died an' gone to heaven." Jack rarely left anything to the imagination. Completely losing himself in Ennis' body, Jack took his own sweet time. His hands reached for what he loved.
Cupping Ennis' ass in his hands, he pulled him toward his eager face and mouth. Jack sucked Ennis' cock into his mouth, spent some time and energy licking the slit, around the head, and then full length, sucked hard once, then licked him up and down the silky underside; taking his sweet lovin' time, remembering the taste and feel of his man.
Jack moved Ennis wherever he needed him to get access to all of him. Ennis' eyes were closed and he was moaning softly. "Oh how I've missed you, Jack fuckin Twist." he said.
"Ennis, open your eyes! Ennis, I need to see you baby."
Opening his deep brown eyes, nearly black with desire, he saw Jack kneeling between his legs. Ennis watched Jack pull his knees up high, anticipation hitching his breath in his chest. Jack could not keep his need to himself, kept talking all the while, "God how I've missed you, missed touching your skin, missed this sweet ass, cowboy." Jack licked and kissed till they were each throbbing, leaking, so ready, and Ennis thrashed his head back and forth.
Not being used to doing this, and not wanting to hurt Ennis, Jack grabbed the lubricant, used a big gob to slick himself, and his lover's ass. With his hands still covered, he stroked Ennis' cock, transferring the last of the lube. Returning his attention to Ennis' ass, he slid his finger in, stretching, twisting some, "Y' okay?" he asked Ennis, getting a nod for an answer. "Y' sure ya wanta try it this way, we don't hafta?" Ennis replied, "Yes, yes, Jack, please." Jack pushed in another finger and felt Ennis clench his muscles around him. "Fuckin' amazin' feelin', Cowboy."
Ennis moaned, "Come on, Jack! Ah, fuck, that feels so good."
Jack lifted Ennis' hips up a bit, pulling him to him and began to push in. "Ah jesus Ennis, it feels so fucking good! Ya ready fer me?" And he pushed himself in more, going slowly. Jack pulled back out, pushed in again, each thrust going deeper than the one before, then with all the longing he'd been holding back, thrust into his Cowboy all the way, till balls met ass. Jack began a gentle rocking motion, getting Ennis used to being where Jack had always been; wanting him to love it, wanting his man to feel so good.
"Ennis! Open your eyes, baby. I want to see you. I don't know how long I can last like this. You okay?"
"Fuck! Yes, Jack!"
"I need to see you wanting me, baby. Fuck baby, AH jesus, Ennis! You feel so good to me. Ready? Harder?"
"Harder!"
Jack stroked Ennis' cock, once, then twice, as he angled his thrust to reach the very best spot for Ennis. His Cowboys' eyes flew wide when he'd made contact! "OH! My fu . . what, JACK!" Seeing the passion and pleasure flare on Ennis' face was all Jack had held out for. Letting it all go now, pounding into his man's body, hitting his hot spot over and over. "Look at me Ennis, look at me baby, Now Now Now. AH!" Jack poured everything he had to give inside Ennis. The pleasure electrifying his veins, and Jack's commands for now now now brought Ennis over that edge so fast his come shot between them; so hot, so sticky, so sexy.
With his one good arm Ennis grabbed Jack's ass, pulling him in closer, deeper; let go to grab his hair at his moment of climax, pulling Jack down on him, to feel his chest against him, skin on skin. Couldn't get enough skin on skin.
Jack leaned down and licked some stickiness from Ennis' chest, and kissed his mouth, bringing the taste to them both. Ennis wished he could suck Jack's tongue into his mouth. But that would have to wait. One mouth, one tongue, one body.
'Ah, breathing again. Breathing is good.' he thought.
"Jesusgawdalmighty, Twist."
"You can say that again. Del Mar."
"Jes.." Jack put his hand gently over Ennis' mouth.
"Don't really need to, baby." said Jack, as he pushed up on his elbow to lean over Ennis, and kiss him tenderly on his eyes, his temple, his ear, and then back to his mouth. "You okay? I didn't hurt ya?"
"Don't think so, Jack. Haven't come to my senses yet, though."
"Ya like that, Ennis?"
"Nope." he said. "Fuckin' loved it, you bein' inside a me. This how it is fer you when I'm inside a ya?"
Nodding, Jack said, "Yeah, that's how it is fer me."
They held each other, still joined, still wet and sticky, and kissed. Jack held Ennis' face in his hands, and they looked into each other's eyes, seeing the love there, seeing the wonder at what they had.
"Guess it's time we face the world, eh? Sure don't want to."
"Me Neither."
But they stood, gathering clothes to wear downstairs, both anxious to get a shower and face this new day, this new life.
"Oh, Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Jack Twist looked down at the floor, smiled like he'd won a million dollars, then looking back at Ennis Del Mar, he said, "I love you right back."
Ennis could feel John looking at him during breakfast, seemingly a glare, but didn't know any reason why that would be. Rest of the family seemed okay.
Later, in the barn, John caught up with Ennis when he was alone, and said "Talk to you?"
Ennis, not quite flinching, replied, "Sure."
Not beating around any bushes whatsoever, John said "Are you ready for the ass-pounding you're getting to be . . . . .?"
Ennis whirled on him, fist already clenching. "What the fuck's the matter with you, old man? What kinda question is that?"
John held up a conciliatory hand, "I'm jus' sayin' , Ennis . . . I kin hear you two downstairs. Ya know, like this mornin'. . . "
Ennis let go of his anger and his clenched fist, and said, "Oh. Well, shit."
John continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, twice. "Cain't say whuther Claire and Jenny could or not, over in their room. Or Bobby either. Mine's right below yers, ya know."
Ennis plunked his no longer virgin butt down on a bale of hay and put his head in his hand. "Christ, what am I gonna do if they did hear us, JC?"
Making use of his own bale of hay, John sat and offered a quiet suggestion. "Don't suppose no permanent damage is done, even if they did hear ya. But ya might oughta step up yer plans fer fixin' up the little Bell place, ya know?"
Ennis met his eyes, and nodded agreement. "Thanks for speakin' up, JC."
"S'Nothin'. Young couple needs their privacy."
John thought to himself, 'old couples need their privacy too; maybe someday before I die, I can get back into my wife's bed. Done wasted too much time already jus' bein' ignorant!' When John looked up from his musing, he saw Ennis still standing there looking at him, hand extended.
"Sure do appreciate what you said, Mr. Twist."
He shook Ennis' hand, but was shaking his head all the while. "Oh, don't you Mr. Twist me, now Ennis. It's JC to you, or John, or old man or whatever you want t'call me. But Mr. Twist was my daddy, and I don't like to be reminded a that fact."
With a hard knowing on his face, Ennis nodded, and said "Umm, okay."
"… uh Ennis? Claire's daddy was a real gentleman, a lovin' man and better ta me than my own kin ever thought a bein'. I called him Mr. Bell when I was a boy, but from the day I married his daughter, I called him dad."
Ennis' head jerked up, met JC's eyes before they both looked back down at the hay strewn floor of the barn.
"Er . . I'm jus' sayin' . . " and with that John Twist walked off toward the house.
That evening, Ennis asked Mom for a calendar; one he could mark up and keep for his own. Given one of the freebies from A. J. Gaitten's Funeral Home and Mortuary, he ran it up to his n' Jack's room, and then came down for their walk.
Jack, Ennis, Bobby and Jenny went out for what had become a nice daily tradition, weather permitting. Claire used to go too, but now that John was up and around, she mostly stayed at home with him. Their only alone time.
Walking down the lane, and back up the old seldom traveled road, Bobby and Jenny stayed fifty yards ahead, as impatient youngsters do. Ennis and Jack did not touch as they walked; saved that comfort for their own pasture and lane. Ennis, walking side by side with his life partner, began to tell Jack of the morning's conversation in the barn.
Flitting swiftly from one emotion to the next, Jack experienced everything Ennis had gone through when John first approached him this morning. Anger came hot and fast, then embarrassment at them being overheard having sex, then shame and worry that mama, or worse, Jenny, may have overheard them. Bobby he could deal with.
As a result, they started planning how and when to move out; where to go, what to do. Ennis told him about the calendar he'd acquired from Mom, and that they should start marking it in ink with things that could not change, like Bobby starting his senior year at his new school, the doctor visits to remove the cast at six weeks, and the wires at eight weeks. And then pencil in everything else as closely as they could plan it. They needed to see what they were up against.
Almost like the sun risin' ever' day, here come Brad joining Jenny and Bobby as they looped around the old road, walking nearer to Kenneth and Rachel's house. That boy seemed to have a radar where Jenny was concerned, and frequently showed up to walk with them, much to Bobby's acute discomfort.
Between the two boys, Jenny was humming and showing with her hands, how the tempo went for the new song she planned to sing in September for an audition for the Little Theater Group at the Riverton Community College. She was already registered for the fall classes, and was really looking forward to getting started.
"If you need to practice, Jen, I can play the piano for you, any day you say." offered Brad.
Bobby whirled on him, "Since when in the hell do you play piano?" he challenged. He was kicking himself, hadn't thought to offer to play guitar for her, what was the matter with him, let Brad step in with both feet?
"Well, just two weeks, but I'm gonna be pretty good, my teacher says I got natural ability. Anyway, if I ain't good enough, or ready enough, my sister Kelly can play some, and my momma can play real good, Jenny, truly."
"Well, how nice. Thank you for the offer, Brad." She put her hand on his arm as she thanked him sincerely, and because it was dusk, she did not see his face and ears pink up. "Still pretty busy with Gran right now though, we're still canning everything we can get our hands on. Hafta start on the elderberry jelly tomorra bright and early. Guess we should head on in now, huh Bobby?" And when she turned back to speak to him, he felt okay again, could breathe again. Like a chain had been tight around his chest and now it was released. "Oh, man." He thought, "I got a bad case,"
"Uh huh, Looks like Bobby's got him some competition." observed Jack from their vantage point.
"With what?" asked Ennis.
Shaking his head, Jack exclaimed, "With Jenny, dumbass!"
"What? What're you talkin' 'bout, Jack?"
"JesusChristAmighty, Ennis Del Mar, Bobby's got a crush big as Texas on yer daughter, ain't you seen it? Where's your head been at? Up yer ass?"
"More'n likely up yers, Twist!" Ennis smirked.
Jack's smile widened to bring out all the sparkle, all the dimples. Now in their own pasture, out of the eyes of passers-by, Jack grabbed Ennis and turned him around to face him. "Did you jes' talk dirty to me, Cowboy?"
Laughing, they both were relieved to drop serious topics for a moment. Jack bent down to kiss Ennis up under his jaw, 'cause he knew he was ticklish there.
They talked until Ennis got it; who had a crush on who, and who was trying to horn in, etc. It was clear to Jack that much more than academics was lost by Ennis Del Mar because a missin' three a his high school years. Jack knew that so much social interaction, competition, failure, success, angst, and figuring out sexual innuendo, even flirting gets worked out in the hallowed halls under the guise of education.
Jack thought back over their first meeting up on Brokeback Mountain, those months in 1963 and the years since, and realized at long last, he had one more piece of the puzzle that was his love, his Ennis. 'Mostly Ennis didn't realize I was flirting with him, that's all it was.' And then sadly Jack thought, 'maybe no one ever did before.' With Jack still teasing Ennis, the walk ended on a happy note.
That night before sleep, Ennis told Jack some more of the conversation in the barn. "Think yer dad told me I could call him "dad", Jack."
"You musta mis-heard that one, Cowboy. You been delirious again? Got another concussion?"
"NO'm serious, he told me all about yer Grandpa Bell, how much he meant to him 'n all. Said when he married your mama, that he called him dad from that day on. Said his own daddy he'd rather forgit."
"Shit." was all Jack had to day.
"It was like he was sayin' that us being married is real to him, Jack, almost like he is saying he accepts it, and as his newest son that I could call him dad now."
"JesusChristFuckinJehosaphat!" spit Jack. "Wonder if and when the sorry old motherfucker is gonna welcome me as his son, or if he's planning to replace me with you?" Ennis flinched at the bite in that remark, and didn't know whether to try to calm Jack, or just let him vent it all out of his system. 'Too many years of hurt to vent it all out at once', he knew that.
If asked, there was no way Jack Twist could tell all of what he was feeling, but Regret was right on top, regret for the loss of his daddy; jealousy, anger, right behind, and pitifully, Shame for feeling the jealousy and the anger.
Ennis knew the hurt Jack was feeling, and knew that he could not take one step closer to JC until he and Jack made things right. Bad as Ennis wanted a dad's love, Jack needed it more. And Ennis would not get in the way a that.
Even though this new hurt was fresh, most of the years of denial and hardness on John Twist's part had made scars on Jack's heart, so this was nothing really new. Eventually, Jack became resigned to the way it was, the way it always had been in his memory, and halted his frantic pacing.
At last, joining Ennis in bed, he allowed him to hold him, and kiss him till eventually, he quieted his heavy breathing, and began to relax against his man. Readying for sleep, Jack laid on his side, with his back turned to his Cowboy. Ennis turned off the bedside lamp, then spooned up behind him and held him tenderly, kissing his ear.
"G'night darlin'."
"Good nite, baby."
Minutes passed; as the peace of the starry darkness enveloped them, they began to float off this planet of turmoil and strife toward their meager dreams.
All of a sudden, Ennis' eyes flew open, he remembered something important he hadn't told Jack.
"Jack, you awake, darlin'?"
"no."
Ennis started wiggling around, squeezing Jack tight, and kissing little wet spots onto his neck and shoulder blades. "You awake now?"
"yes."
"Come on Jack, wake up, I forgot to tell you one thing."
"This better be good, Del Mar. I was already asleep!"
"It is, Jack. It is. 'Least, it sounded real good to me."
Sighing heavily, Jack turned his face to look at Ennis. "Well, what is it then?"
"Yer dad?"
"Yeah, what about my dad now?"
"When he said we should step up our plan to fix up the old Bell place. . ."
"Spit it out, Ennis, I'm startin' to get pissed again! What'd he say?"
"Jack he, uh. . . "
"Jack, yer dad said we should fix up the old Bell place because a er. . .
um a . . . ."Young couple needs their privacy." "
"No shit? He called us a "young couple", Ennis?"
"Yep. Yep, he did, darlin'."
"Well, I'll be damned. Wonders never cease."
"S' what I thought, too!"
"Ennis, anybody ever call us "a couple" before?"
"Cain't say as I r'member anybody callin' us that. It's a beautiful word, ain't it, Jack?"
"It surely is, my love. One a those good words; the kind to build a life around."
Satisfied to end their day on this note, they kissed good night once more and snuggled back down into the covers, limbs entwined, and fell asleep.
TBC