Prompt: #14 Sunrise
Summary: The morning after…
A/N: This expands the Adventum Aduro verse.
Oriens is Latin for "rising sun".
Oriens
"Did you love him?" he asks. It breaks the silence that had filled the room they were in. Her bedroom.
The harsh rains had abated hours ago. Gone was the rumbling thunder and shattering lightning that had served as a crescendo for them. Now, they both have lain awake for an hour already. Neither one of them had dared to speak and have merely been waiting in silence to gauge the reaction of the other. He nor she even made a motion of trying to get out from under the covers, even though there was no reason to stay now that they were both dry. His head was resting upon the pillow neighboring the pillow her own head was resting upon but it still not close enough. They were not even exactly touching. Merely lying together side by side, each looking up at the ceiling of her sleeping chambers. She would very much like to not think about the fact that they were both naked, though it had nothing to do with feeling like this was a violation of her modesty. Noctis was under the comforter and she was under the bed sheet beneath the comforter. The thin sheet of silk the only barrier and enough of one, between his body and hers and she was acutely aware of that. Again, she was not embarrassed by any means. It was her own temptation, since she regained consciousness, to stroke the bare skin of his chest. His softly spoken question takes her away from those wayward thoughts and she wants to sigh in disappointment. The sigh stays in her throat, however, for fear of him taking it the wrong way.
Though his tone is neutral, she can tell that he feels ashamed in having to ask. Within that shame was the jealousy and fear of her answer. It proved that she was as much his weakness as he was hers. It is obvious who he is asking about and she did not even bother to evade it. She needs to be honest with him, completely so. Even if he might get hurt by it, she owed him and herself that. There would only be truth. They had lived with secrets too long, Noctis more than most. That was the only way he would begin to trust her and trust her feelings where she had failed to gain it before.
"Yes," she responds simply and waits for the responding tension to coil.
It never comes and she wonders what that means.
Instead, he sighs in resignation a moment later. When another moment passes and he does not make any attempt to get up or say anything else, she turns her body to lean against his side. As she looks up into his face, she can see that though his body has not stiffened, his eyes show the turmoil inside. How she loved that his eyes revealed the depths of his emotions while everything else did not.
"Only you mistake the kind of love I had for him," she finishes.
He gives her a cautious look but he does not say anything, merely waits for her to explain it with something akin to dread in his deep blue eyes. The look causes her to swell with affection for him. She really wants to kiss him, but cannot risk him taking that as a means to try and distract him. It would be counterproductive to proving her feelings and she could do more damage by the action.
"The most my love could reach would be brotherly. The lowest of that would be a friend," she explains.
"You love him as family?" he asks carefully. It is clear that he does not really believe her but there is a hint of hopefulness that she finds encouraging.
"Yes," she answers with a nod. Idly, she traces her finger along the skin of his shoulder, hardly conscious of what she is going to his senses. She needs this reassurance of his physical presence at her side. "I love you, you know."
"Like family as well?" he asks and there is an undertone of teasing there too.
She scowls at his shoulder before a breathy giggle escapes her as she looks up into his face. His expression is not so carefully neutral and she does not like the frown of uncertainty she sees there. So she raises her hand and smoothes the creases on his forehead before motioning to trace the contours of his face. "Definitely not."
"Then how?" he asks and there is no teasing this time.
"Well, I would certainly never lie so comfortably naked beside Cal," she jokes and when she looks back into his eyes she can see the responding humor reflected in his eyes.
"I could not either," he retorts and she playfully swats his shoulder lightly before going back to tracing his face with her finger.
Softly and soothingly, the pad of her finger glides over the bridge of his nose, along the slopes of his cheeks and across his eyebrows again before circling around to trace each cheek slowly and faithfully. She can feel the exhalation of his breathe as he relaxes under her touch and he makes no attempt to remove her hand. When she looks back up into his eyes, she finds them closed as if in slumber. It is not until she reaches his mouth to draw his lips and feels them raise to kiss her finger that she realizes that he is savoring the movements. His eyes crack open a bit to smile at her. If he had not already been in possession of her heart, he certainly had it then with that small, adoring smile on his lips. Her eyes do not leave his as he reaches to cover her wandering finger to spread the others so he can kiss them too before holding their joined hands against his chest.
"That cannot be morning can it?" she asks, suddenly realizing that there was too much light coming from outside to see him so clearly if it were not. She cannot keep the mournful tone from her voice either. Morning meant an end to this lovely interlude of theirs and who knew when they would have another. With the rising sun, they would have to leave the bed and this moment would be broken.
"No," he answers, looking at her with an almost smug expression that confuses her.
She tilts her head to look at him. "What is it, then?" she asks with a smile.
"It seems we generated enough energy to your city's test Crystal to light all the bulbs within the city."
"Really?" she asks, knowing that she should feel smug and impressed and delighted that they had achieved a success with their night together, but she cannot seem to muster the feelings. Right now all she can feel is disappointment because that means that he will leave even sooner than the day will come to study this development. She looks up in time to see him shake his head in answer to her pleading question. One cannot be too gloomy when he reaches up with his other hand to trace her bottom lip with his thumb.
"Do you think that when we actually make love we will blow up the entire city with energy?" she tries to sound innocent and teasing but she does not achieve it convincingly.
"That makes me a tad uneasy," he replies but his smirk soothes her from getting sensitive about it.
"Making love to me or the resulting explosion?" she challenges.
"It would mean we would have to confine our love making to the cave of the Crystals or else everyone will know what we are doing," he says and he is more than half serious.
She finds she does not like that particular possibility either. It would exploit something of theirs that would be sacred and should remain between just the two of them. Then again, at this point, everyone seemed to be of the impression that they had already taken that step together. A step that had definitely not been taken, even the night before. The most they had ever done was some heavy petting but nothing even close to that. Instead of feeling frustrated about it, she lets herself enjoy the admission that he too, hoped to one day take that step as she did.
"Activate all the Crystals with one session, then?" she muses with a sly smirk.
"In what way do you love me?" he asks suddenly, bringing them back to their previous conversation and cutting off their veiled innuendos. Genius of him really. Talking about such a thing as they had been when they were both already naked and in a bed was probably not a good idea. Especially when they had not reached a point in their relationship where they were ready for such a step. Not yet. His question was a confirmation that he did want it to happen one day and he needed to know if she wanted the same. It was not hard to find the words to answer.
"In a way that if you ever left me again, I would rather die," she says, squeezing the hand that is still holding hers against his chest. "Not because I could die but because I would rather die than live without you."
He blinks at her slowly as he takes in her response. There was doubt there, warring with a need to believe. Those piercing eyes of his examined hers as he struggled to believe her. The tumultuous emotions were flashing through those beautiful orbs for a moment before he squeezed her hand in response.
"Do you love me?" she asks hesitantly, fearful that he may not even answer.
"Yes," he says without reservation or pause.
"In what way?" she needs to press for the same reasons he has. Though all his actions told her that he did, he has never said it and she found that she needed to hear it now.
"You are to me an object intensely desirable. So much so that it feels like the air I breathe in a room empty of you is unhealthy."
Before she can even think to reply to that, she finds herself thrown onto her back with Noctis looming over her.
"You have filled the emptiness inside me in such a way that I wish I could dissolve into you so that I could fill what was ripped from you and become entirely whole," his voice is harsh and laced with intense emotion as he frowns in thought, staring at her lips but not really seeing them. "You cannot know how it made me feel that night to see that your complete possession of my heart did not mean that I had yours." His eyes look back into hers. "But despite that agony, I would have lived with at least the satisfaction of knowing you were with the one who did."
"Were you angry with me?" she asks and she fervently hopes that he was not.
"No," he says with a shake of his head. "Only at myself for being so self centered for not even thinking such a thing were possible."
He looks ashamed and he was the last that should be.
"Being right does not mean that you were self centered," she tells him. "You know how I feel. I never tried to hide it. You were right to expect that of me and I failed you."
He shakes his head again in disagreement. "I would never consider it a failing on your part, dear heart," he says. "But I feel that fighting about this would only allow my emotions to get the best of me and do something I should regret."
"You would regret doing such a thing with me?" she asked, instantly knowing what he meant. In their lack of control, they would take advantage of their current positions. She knows they would. If not for his restraint, they might have the night before.
"If we did such a thing now," he says, leaning down to kiss her chastely. He takes his weight off her and settles on his side to stare at her.
"We would explode the city, right?" she says, trying to lighten the mood.
He smirks. "Perhaps."
She lets a chuckle escape her, as she wiggles towards him to press her face into to his neck.
"Are you tired?" he asks in that quiet intimate way that only lovers use. It makes her feel so elated and cherished.
"No," she sighs and busies herself with trying to take in his scent.
"The sun rises now," he says. "Will you watch its ascent with me?"
She leans back enough to look up at his face to see him smiling reassuringly.
"Of course," she replies and she feels the light brush of his lips against her forehead.
"Come," he whispers, the warm moistness of his breathe flow into her hair. "With you is the best way to start a day."
He scoots away from her, over to the edge of his side of the bed but not before giving her another smile. She smiles back and turns to pick up the robe she had left on the post of her bed the night before and slides it over her shoulders. Tying the knot to keep it closed, she turns around to see Noctis at the foot of the bed with only his pants on. She stills her heart at the sight of him. He reaches out to take her hand and she takes it to follow him to the glass doors to her balcony. They both stand at the door, his arms around her, as they both stare at the rising sun as it dawns on more than just a new day for them.