CHAPTER 2: THE TRAGIC TALE

Larry and Fatty entered the pub, the wooden floorboards under their feet creaking under their weight. A drunken wizard cast a spell on Fatty which made him grow to a considerable height, causing him to smash his head on the chandelier that was dangling from the ceiling. It flew down towards the floor and smashed into a million pieces.

"You fool!" Shouted Fatty at the man who had cast the spell on him, who was smirking in a corner. "You drunken fool!"

"No, you're a drunken fool!" cried out the man.

"You're a drunken fool!"

"No, you're a drunken fool!"

"You're a drunken fool!"

Suddenly, the man fell over and hit the floor with a dull thud. A small, bespectacled young man rushed over to motionless man.

"Sorry 'bout that," he exclaimed, shaking his head. "He faints whenever somebody says 'you drunken fool' too much.

"Well, he is a drunken fool! I'm gonna catch him!"

The drunken man regained consciousness and said to Fatty stupidly, "No, you won't, I'm the gingerbread man!"

Fatty stormed off to the counter, where a young man sprung up and exclaimed, "Hello! I'm a bright blue bowling ball with small black holes!"

"What?" said Larry, gasping.

"No, it's me! The bartender! What would you like?"

"A butter beer for me today," replied Fatty.

Larry added, "Oh, and I'd like a butter beer too, please!"

Fatty turned around and picked up Larry by the scruff of the neck, leaving his legs swaying under him.

"What are you!" shouted Fatty, so angry now that one of his blood vessels burst. Fatty shook Larry around violently. "What are you!"

"I'm a plot device!" said Larry defensively.

Fatty threw Larry down forcefully, causing the floorboards to smash under his weight and collapse. Larry fell down, screaming, tumbling down into a black abyss. Luckily, a trampoline was at the bottom of hole, and Larry sprung back up, landing next to Fatty.

The bartender disappeared under the bench and leapt back up clutching two bottles of foaming butter beer in his hands. He slid them across the bench to Fatty, who took them both, holding them above his head as so to not let Larry reach them. Fatty walked over to a long table, Larry reluctantly following behind him.

They approached the table, and Fatty seated himself in a chair, Larry doing the same. Fatty cleared his throat, calmed himself down, and began to speak.

"I am going to tell you the story of how your parents died."

"Oh, yes," replied Larry, "they were squashed by a pair of rampaging dinosaurs, weren't they?"

Fatty raised an eyebrow at Larry.

"No. The tale of Jelly and Lame Potter's death is much more tragic than that. It was ten years ago when it happened," he said, taking a gulp of butter beer. "You were just a baby, a normal baby, living with your wizard parents. But all that changed one night."

The room seemed to darken around Larry.

"Late on a Saturday night, the most evil of all evil wizards stole into your house, intent on killing you." He guzzled down the rest of the butter beer and continued, "He approached your bed after disposing of Lame and Jelly, but just when he raised his wand above his head in preparation to cast a sinful spell on you, a half-eaten muesli bar fell out of his robe pocket and out the window. 'AIYEEE! MY YUMMY!' he had screamed, proceeding to jump out the window, where he tumbled down to the ground saying 'oh fudge cake'. That evil man died that night, but his body was never found."

Larry took a sharp intake of breath. "What was this man's name?"

"I must not say it."

"Why!"

"It is a dangerous word!"

No word is dangerous! Spit it out!"

Fatty sighed deeply, took a deep breath, and recited the evil name.

"Sauron"

"Sauron?"

"Yes, Sau- no, sorry, there's too many a dark lord of evil around. His name is... Mouldywart"

A bright blue flash illuminated the room, cause of the thunder that was now booming outside.

"Hmmm, alright, that was a boring story. Can we go now?"

Fatty let out a frustrated sigh, but in spite of everything, he got up from his chair and led Larry out of the bar.

It was mid-morning by the time Larry and Fatty had finished all their shopping, Larry's cases near bursting point with all the things inside them. They trudged back to the big red motorbike, their feet creating large ripples as they splashed down onto the ground. At one point, Larry slipped over and grazed his hands on the ground.

"OW!" he screamed, clutching his hand, "HELP ME!"

Fatty grumbled and continued to advance towards the motorbike.

"AAAAHHHH! HELP ME!"

Larry continued to writhe around the ground, whimpering.

"I've got an idea," said Fatty, "how about you get up and then we fly off to the train station!"

"What a splendid idea!" said Larry, leaping up off the ground and progressing to run up to the motorbike.

Fatty shook his head and approached the motorbike, and in a matter of seconds they were off, the motorbike whizzing into the sunset. Wait, there was no sunset, and it wasn't whizzing, but those facts are of no importance right now. Right?

Well, best chapter yet if I do say so myself! Please leave reviews- I love reviews! (Be honest in them-I don't want false praise)!