(Peeks out from behind a corner)

Crest: Hey guys! Sorry for such a long wait but I had to move my base of operations again and then settling in got complicated. But never fear! I'm back and ready for more awesome updates. Now before we get on with the next chapter I want to take a moment and remind all who lay eyes on their screens that I claim absolutely no ownership over the Percy Jackson series. I only claim my own story line and original characters. All rights go to the more awesome than Zeus writer Rick R. All right, onward!

Chapter Four: Talking to Yourself is Perfectly Normal

"I am a selfish person. True or False?"

Alice took a long sip of her coffee before answering, her face serious. "Gray."

"That's not answering my question." I say irritated.

"Yes it is, it's a perfectly vague but correct answer. So shut up."

Talking to Alice was a real headache, however at the moment, she was all I had.

It's been a few days since the scene at the Aphrodite cabin and Sophia has avoided me. And if I were to be completely honest I'm not too keen on talking to her at the moment either. After she yelled at me and basically called me self absorbed and insensitive I didn't have it in me to face her and not chew her out. I know for a fact I'm not self absorbed. All my life my mom told me that it's okay to think about your own well being, but it's more important to want to help others with theirs. I've volunteered at soup kitchens, been apart of every food can drive my school had started, raised money for charity, and helped teach sign language to kids whose own family members were deaf and they need to learn how to communicate with them. It was tiring work with long hours and hardly any recognition.

And I loved every minute of it.

So no, I know for a fact I think about others, more often than myself at times. I guess from her viewpoint though, she thought she was right. The entire time Sophia has known me she's only seen one side of me. My worst side brought out by my rough relationship with my absentee father whose own moodiness could put even Mother Teresa off her tea. From what she's only seen, I guess thinking me self absorbed isn't jumping the gun too much. I mean, when had I ever asked her about her relationship with her mom? Sure I knew a little about her dad the pilot and from what I've seen and heard they have a pretty good daddy/daughter thing going on. But no, I had no clue if she even talked with her mom. From what she yelled at me, apparently they talk and have descent communication. It's only ever been about me and never about anyone else. She was clearly wrong.

So why did I feel like this? Feel so...guilty?

I've never asked Gwen about Apollo. Growing up with her I knew that despite the fact she knew about her dad and he had claimed her that Gwen always felt complete with just her mom. Who could blame her? Ms. Keller was awesome just like my mom was.

I've avoided talking to Nico about his dad because I knew he wouldn't appreciate it. Not that they hate each other anymore, but it wasn't perfect. Nico still had a few things to sort out with Hades and it would still take more than helping save Olympus from falling to fix it.

I only knew very little about Percy and his dad, though I knew they got along well. Poseidon even liked Percy's step dad, a guy named Paul.

Annabeth didn't talk about her dad much, but her and Athena had a good relationship. She was a backwards case, but it still counted.

I know I'm not the only one with a life, but I've never really gone out of my way to try and learn their lives either.

I had needed another opinion, but who could possibly understand everything I was going through? Sophia wasn't speaking to me, Gwen was one of the variables I needed to figure out, and somehow I knew Nico wouldn't have the advice I needed. That's when I got the idea to go directly to the person I knew would have all the answers. Myself.

The day after my lecture from Sophia Pollux and I were supposed to go to the strawberry fields to help them grow, even though I hadn't shown an affinity for them. I tried a few times to coax them into growing only for them to either stay the same or die. Pollux said it might just take time, personally, I think the vines know I'm a reject who can only make people insane. Dumb plants. So instead of joining him I told Pollux I was going to try and meditate again, which made him happy that I was still taking his (and by extension Mr. D's advice). What I still hadn't told him was about the person I found inside my own head, the very person I was going to see now. My mature alter ego Alice could possibly have all the answers I needed.

So I wound up in the same little room with Alice who had switched up her outfit to just black jeans, dark blue chucks, and a Doctor Who t-shirt. (I have no idea why my alter ego had that shirt, I most certainly wasn't a fan of the show. But I'm getting off track.)

Although around Alice losing your train of thought was a given, seeing as she was basically my mind. And she wasn't exactly mentally sound.

"That's not an answer, that's a color. I asked for true or false, if your not going to answer with those you could at least give me a yes or no."

She sighed and set her coffee down, looking tired as hell, why though I wasn't sure. It was only my second visit here but I knew that she looked worse off than before. I would worry about it later. Right now I needed answers.

"True or false. Right or wrong. Yes or no. Good or bad. They're all just black and white statements." She pointed a finger at me, the nail painted the same blue as the shirt. "You are gray. Everyone, even in the smallest measure, is in the gray area. Anyone who thinks differently is just fooling themselves."

"So I'm not selfish?"

"Do you think you are?"

Now I'm starting to get mad. "You're just answering my question with a different question!"

She shrugged. "Do you?"

I just looked at her and she rolled her eyes continuing. "No I don't. You are a very generous person Sarah, there aren't enough people like you in the world. However, I can understand why someone, especially Sophia, can think you selfish."

"How so?" I took a drink of my Diet Coke, my drink of choice. There was no way I could stomach coffee.

"It's your fatal flaw I suppose." she leaned back in her chair making it tilt slightly. "All demigods have them, fatal flaws that is. I won't give you names but some of your friends have discovered theirs. Taking on everything themselves even if it kills them, sacrificing the world to save one friend, or trusting blindly. Some say it depends on your parent, but I believe it really weighs more on the individual."

"Then what is mine?"

Alice looked like she was staring at something far away as she answered. "Tunnel vision would be the best way to describe it. While you do things for good and for the good of others, you focus too much on it and it closes your vision around you."

Now that was just dumb and untrue. "No really, what is my flaw?"

Alice lost her far away look and it morphed into my pissed off face, not a good look mind you.

"Don't take this lightly Sarah. Think about it. Because of this conflict with Mr. D, how much time have you thought about anyone's home life besides your own?"

"When I met Nico I thought about his relationship with his dad."

"But you dropped the topic or let him drop it for you correct?"

I gritted my teeth. "Yes, because it was none of my business."

She slammed her fist down on the table quickly and I hate to admit that the motion startled me.

"There! Right there! That's the tunnel vision working. You believe you don't think about it because you have no right to, when in reality, your flaw is you can only focus on one problem at a time. This one with your dad? The big whammy itself. It's blocked off everything else so you pay no mind to anything but yourself. And yes Sarah, it can be mistaken for selfish."

I threw my hands up in frustration. "Well what am I to do then? It's not like I want to be selfish! And Sophia's opinion of me won't change if I just say sorry."

A lump formed in my stomach at just how much truth that carried.

Alice shook her head. "You don't have to fix it, a fatal flaw is something that either cannot be fixed, can be dealt with, or something that doesn't need changing. Simply start focusing more on what's around you and you'll be surprised how much that makes a difference. It's not a bad thing to focus on one thing Sarah, just don't let it consume you. And if you want to have no more distractions. Start by making amends with old sour grape."

The room started to fade and this time I wasn't just jerked out of my meditation. Slowly I lost sight of Alice, but her words didn't fade away with her.

"Know it all." I muttered.

Crest: Yep a short chapter after such a long update wait time, but I'll have a nice long chapter next time around. Keep leaving reviews and tell me what you think!