Chapter Seven
Tea and Sympathy
Last night was the worst night's sleep ever, not for Remus, but for me. I don't know if it was because of the marking, but I had the worst nightmare. In it, I saw Remus transformed, but I think I also saw Greyback. He attacked me, I don't if I was killed or turned, because Moony woke me before I found out. He had not yet changed back, and when I felt his paws on my shoulders, I thought it was Greyback.
I woke up from the nightmare, looked into his yellow eyes, which I weren't aware changed color during his transformation. I screamed and sat up quickly. Moony didn't have time to move, and we hit heads, very hard. I saw stars and had to put my hands over my eyes to refocus.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart!" I exclaimed. "I didn't mean to do that. It's just that I got scared when I saw your eyes, I didn't know they were yellow, and I-"
Moony put his paws on my hands, which made me stop talking. "Moony, can you understand me?" I asked. He nodded.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked. Moony shook his head, then put his paw on my forehead.
"If you're asking if I'm all right, I am. My head hurts a little, but I think I'll live," I said.
Moony nodded, leaned in close, and give me kiss on my cheek. I'm not even sure if that is the right word though, since it was more of a lick. I removed his paws from my hands and leaned forward. He backed away, confused.
"It's all right, Moony, I just want to give you a kiss," I whispered.
Moony nodded and I gave him a kiss on the forehead, to make it feel better, and on the cheek. He patted his pillow. I looked at him and asked, "You want me to lie down?"
He nodded. I lay down and he snuggled up next to me. "Sweetheart, I need to tell you something. I had a nightmare, I don't know why. Maybe it was from the marking, maybe not. Greyback was in the nightmare, at least I think he was. I don't even know what he looks like, but I do know you were there too. I don't know if I was bitten or scratched, but I know I was attacked. I think you tried to save me, but you woke up before I found out. I got scared because I thought you were Greyback."
I looked at him and I thought I saw a tear fall from his eye. "Moony, sweetheart, please don't cry, this isn't your fault. Just because I had a nightmare after you marked me doesn't mean that's the reason I had one. I don't know how to explain this, but I feel different. I don't think you've turned me though, I really don't."
He let me wipe his tears with his shirt I was still wearing. He snuggled up to me again, and gave me kisses on my neck where he marked me. I don't know how but it helped me fall asleep and the nightmare didn't return. I woke a few hours later, covered with the blanket, and with a splitting headache.
Remus had transformed back and was still asleep, so I got out of bed and quietly got dressed in my black striped shirt, dress, stockings, socks, and boots. I unlocked the door and tiptoed downstairs to the bathroom to check on my head. As I passed Sirius' room, I saw Harry asleep in his bed. I don't know if Harry also had a bad nights sleep, but maybe he just needed some company.
I shut the door to the bathroom and moved my hair to check my head. I should have know something was wrong when I noticed my hair was brown. What I saw next scared me, I had a cut on my forehead.
I didn't think I'd hit Remus' head that hard to cause that. The thought that I had been hurt, and I had hurt Remus because of my fear and nightmare made me so angry that I turned and kicked wall of the bathroom, which gave me a pain in my foot, caused Buckbeak to squawk, and set off the portrait of Sirius' mum.
I heard someone coming up the stairs, silence the portrait and tell Buckbeak to hush. About a minute later, a knock came at the door, and Sirius said, "Remus, Tonks, or Harry, are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Sirius," I said. "I just dropped my boot. I'll be out in a minute." I felt guilty for lying to Sirius, but I didn't want him to know what happened last night.
"All right, Tonks, take your time. Would you like some breakfast?" Sirius asked.
"No, thank you, I'm fine," I said, opening the door. "I'm actually going to go the Burrow in a few minutes to talk to Molly. How was Harry's first night?"
"It went all right, I think. He was having trouble sleeping, so I let him sleep in my bed," Sirius said.
"Buckbeak kept him company."
"That's good," I said. "I understand how he could have trouble sleeping. He's not used to here yet, and I had trouble sleeping too. The attic is cold."
"Maybe you could switch rooms, I'm sure we could work something out," Sirius said.
"Thanks," I replied. "I better get going. Remus was still asleep when I came down, If he's not awake yet, I'll leave him a note and I'll be back in a few hours."
"All right, Tonks," Sirius said. "I'll see you later."
I went back up to the attic, found Remus' quill and some spare parchment. I quickly wrote a note which said, "Dear Remus, I went to the Burrow to visit with Molly. I don't know if I'll be back. I love you. Nymphadora"
I grabbed my scarf, wand, red coat, left the attic, and Disapparated to the Burrow. It wasn't until I arrived that I realised I hadn't kissed Remus goodbye. I heard voices coming from the shed, and to be safe I pulled my wand. One of the voices I recognized as Arthur. The other sounded vaguely familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Only when the person belonging to the voice got closer did I realise it was Charlie, the second eldest Weasley.
"Tonks?" he asked. "Is that you?"
"Wotcher, Charlie," I said. "Yes, it's me."
"Tonks!" he exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. "It's good to see you again! I haven't seen you a long time. How is being an Auror going?"
"It's going fine, thank you. It's been a hell of a week though. How's the work with dragon's going?" I
asked.
"I've heard Mum and Dad talking about what's been going on. Something to do with Remus Lupin?"
"Yes, I know you can keep a secret, so I'll tell you. This week is the full moon. I offered to hide Remus, but somehow Umbridge found out, so we actually had to hide at Hogwarts until yesterday."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Tonks. I don't see why Umbridge just can't mind her own business, and let you protect someone you love. I know that you and Remus are together. I heard mum talking about it, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
"Thanks, Charlie, I appreciate that," I said.
"You're welcome. To answer your question about my work with dragons, it's been going fine. We actually had a bit of a surprise in Romania recently, did you know Hagrid had a pet dragon?"
"He did? I asked, surprised. When was this, during the Tri-Wizard Tournament?"
"No, actually, it was during Harry and Ron's first year, he said, walking towards the Burrow. "I don't know the whole story, but Hagrid had somehow gotten a dragon egg, and hatched a baby Norwegian Ridgeback. Hagrid named him Norbert. Harry, Ron, and Hermione witnessed this, but unfortunately so did Draco Malfoy, who had been spying."
"Figures," I said. "That blond git can't mind his own business."
"I don't know if Draco snitched on Hagrid, but I do know that Norbert bit Ron, who had to be treated in the Hospital Wing, because of Norbert's venom. Hagrid had no choice but to release the dragon to me, and I took it back to Romania."
"How old is Norbert now, Charlie?" I asked.
"He, or should I say she will be turning three in April of next year," Charlie said.
"You mean Norbert's a female? How can you tell?" I asked.
"I know because female Norwegian Ridgebacks are more ferocious than males. As such, we've renamed her Norberta," Charlie said.
"That's a cute name," I said.
We walked in the house. "Have a seat Tonks, Charlie said. "If you're here to see Ron, Fred, or George, they've gone to Headquarters. Hermione is home right now, I think. Mum said she's going on a holiday trip with her parents. Mum's gone to Diagon Alley with Mad-Eye, but she should be back soon."
I removed my scarf and coat, sat at the kitchen table, and put my head in my hands, willing the headache to go away. "Are you all right, Tonks?" Charlie asked.
"I'm fine, Charlie. I just had a bad night sleep, and I have a headache," I replied
"I'm sure mum will have something for that, Tonks," Charlie replied. "Talking of which, I think I just heard her Apparate."
While Charlie was looking for Molly, I remembered a secret I had not told Remus, and one I wasn't sure I should tell him. Charlie and I were in a relationship starting in our fifth year at Hogwarts. I realise now it wasn't half as serious as I thought it was, and nowhere near as serious and Remus and my relationship had become in less than a week. When I told my mother about the relationship, she was happy. Of course she thought Charlie and I were automatically going to get married, and that if I married a pure-blood, it would help her get back in the family's good graces. I don't see why that should be my responsibility. My mother made her choice when she choose my father, and she has to live with the fact that the rest of the family, except for Sirius, can't accept it.
By our seventh year, it had become obvious that we both wanted very different things. Charlie was going to Romania to study dragons, and I was going to study to be an Auror. We had realised that we were nothing more than close friends, and promised to remain so.
Molly came in interrupting my thoughts. "Good afternoon, Tonks. Have you come for some tea and sympathy?" she asked.
"Yes, Molly, I have. You were really good at listening when Remus was underground with the werewolves, and I could use a sympathetic ear," I said.
"Of course, Tonks. Would you like some tea? I'm afraid I don't have blackberry," Molly said.
"That's all right, Molly. I'll take whatever you have," I said.
"I think Tonks could use something for her headache too, if we have something," Charlie said coming into the room to get his book about dragons. "I'll get some biscuits and then get out of your way," he said, pulling a tin from the cupboard, and placing it on the table before Disapparating to his room.
"These look familiar," I said laughing, in spite of my headache.
"Ron sent them over this morning with Hedwig. They're pretty good if you forget that they've burned," Molly said. "Here's your tea, Tonks. I put something in it for your headache. There's plenty more if you need it."
"Thank you Molly," I said, taking a sip. My headache began to feel better right away. "My head feels better, thank you for whatever is in the tea."
"You're welcome, Tonks," Molly said, sitting down across from me. "Now what's on your mind?"
"I don't really know where to start, Molly, but I'll try to explain what happened. Last night, Remus and I took our relationship further than I think we both intended to. I promised both him and myself that I would wait until the full moon is over. That didn't happen last night, Molly. Remus didn't complain, but I feel like it shouldn't have happened," I said.
"Tonks, do you feel guilty over what happened?" Molly asked.
"I don't think I feel guilty, but I think I took advantage of Remus and the situation he's in right now," I said.
Molly was silent for a few minutes. This wasn't a bad thing, it just means she's thinking.
"Tonks, I don't know the whole story, but I don't think you took advantage of Remus. I really don't. If Remus is anything he is honest, and I think he'd say if he felt you were taking advantage of him or the situation."
"I can't lie to myself anymore about this, I want Remus, and the more I try to wait, the harder it seems to get," I said.
"Tonks, when you're heart is involved with anything it's hard to wait. You don't think it was hard for me when I began to have feelings for Arthur, or when Remus began to have feelings for you?" Molly asked.
"I didn't think of it that way," I said. "Now I feel even worse. I haven't been considering Remus' feelings."
"There's nothing to feel bad about, especially ending you're relationship with Charlie. You may have had feelings for each other, but you were both only 15 years old. When anyone is that age, they're not sure of what they want. Even if the relationship you and Charlie had became something more than just close friendship, that doesn't mean it wouldn't have ended when you left Hogwarts, Tonks," Molly said.
"That's true, Molly," I said. "What made me feel bad about Charlie and I ending the relationship and choosing to remain friends was that it meant I disappointed my mother."
"How did you disappoint your mother?" Molly asked.
"When Charlie and I began our relationship, I Owled my mum to let her know. She was happy when I told her that Charlie was a pure-blood. My mum has the tendency to think ahead. She automatically assumed that our relationship would become something more than what it ever ended up being," I said.
"Did she think that you and Charlie were going to get married?" Molly asked.
"I think so, Molly," I said. "She thought that if I married Charlie it would help us get back in the families good graces since he was a pure-blood."
"I can understand how it must have been hard for you're mother to be disowned for falling in love with and marrying a muggle-born. I'm not trying to say anything against her, but she made her choice when she married your father. It seems unfair to put that kind of pressure on two fifteen year old children, especially when they don't yet know what they want to do with their lives," Molly said.
"Thank you, Molly," I said. "In fifth year, during the Easter holidays, is when the pamphlets about different careers appeared in the common room."
"I remember that Tonks, it happened in my fifth year also," Molly said.
"Roma and I started reading about them. It was actually her who showed me the pamphlet about becoming an Auror. I remember Roma mentioned it saying something about concealment and disguise, which, being a Metamorphmagus, I'm obviously good at. Stealth and tracking I could be better at, and that gave me some doubt whether I should even consider becoming an Auror at all," I said.
"We all doubt ourselves, Tonks," Molly said.
"But that doesn't mean we can't be good at what we want to potentially do with our lives, and there was no harm in simply getting advice from Professor Sprout about Auror training. I did, took my O.W.L's and achieved Exceeds Expectations in Charms, Defence against the Dark Arts, Potions, and Transfiguration. I was actually surprised about receiving an O.W.L in Potions. I just wasn't expecting that," I said.
"Those are great marks," Molly said. "They allowed you to continue to your N.E.W.T's, didn't they?"
"Yes, they did, Molly," I said. "After receiving my marks, I realised I would possibly enter the Auror
training program. I had to wait a few agonizing weeks after applying to find out whether I'd been accepted or not. My dad came up to my room with the letter. I didn't want to open it, for fear of having been rejected. I eventually opened it, and was so happy I screamed."
"I'd probably have the same reaction, Tonks," Molly said, laughing.
"I started Auror training along with Roma in 1992, we both qualified in 1994, and here I am, a member of the Order, like your brothers were, and in love with Remus. It's not a path I thought my life would take, but I'm glad it did," I said.
"Tonks," Molly said. "I don't mind that you know that I had twin brothers, but I'm curious as to how you know."
"I saw Remus' photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix and saw two men in the back who looked remarkably like Fred and George. I think I asked Remus if they were twins, but I think he said he couldn't remember," I said.
"They were twins and Fred and George are named after them," Molly said.
"I just realised they have the same initials as their uncles!" I exclaimed.
"That's right, Tonks," Molly said.
"I also saw Neville's parents in the picture. Remus told me the story of what Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and Barty, Junior did to them. The truth is Molly, I've actually know what happened to them since I was 8 years old. I heard my parents talking one night, shortly after the downfall of Lord Voldemort. My mum said that Bellatrix was one of the Death Eaters responsible for torturing them into insanity, and as a result, Bellatrix is in Azkaban, and Neville's parents are in St Mungos. My mum doesn't know that I know," I said.
"Tonks, I'm sorry you had to find out that way. That's a lot for a child to have to deal with, especially since Bellatrix is your aunt," Molly said.
"For the longest time, I felt I would end up like Bellatrix and Narcissa simply because I'm related to them. I realise now I'm nothing like them, and being related to them means nothing, because I'm who I am and that's nothing like either of them," I said.
"That's right," Molly said. "I think you should get back to headquarters, Tonks. It's getting dark out, and it's not safe when it's dark out. I can take you back. Let me just tell Charlie and then we can go."
"That's fine, Molly," I said, putting on my scarf and coat. "I want to say goodbye to him anyway."
Molly apparated upstairs and Charlie came down, who walked me to the door.
"It was good seeing you again, Tonks," Charlie said, giving me a hug. "Are you sure you can't stay?"
"No, I should go. I need to talk to Remus," I said.
"Tonks," Charlie said, letting go. "Something tells me you're going to be able to do that."
"What?" I asked.
"Turn around, Tonks," Charlie said.
I did and saw Remus standing a few feet away from us, looking very angry. "Charlie, I think you should go," I said.
"I think you're right, Tonks," he said, and Disapparated.
I walked towards Remus, but before I could even say anything, he said, "Nymphadora, I don't believe this, I came here to get an explanation for the note you left, and I find you hugging Charlie Weasley!"
"Remus, he was just hugging me goodbye. It meant nothing!" I exclaimed. "What note do you mean?
What are you talking about?" I asked, walking towards him.
He pulled the note from his coat pocket. It looked like it had been ripped in half. I put the two pieces together, read it slowly, and noticed my mistake.
"Sweetheart, I am so sorry! I exclaimed. I didn't mean to write that. I had a bad night's sleep, my head hurt, and I just wasn't thinking straight. It was an honest mistake, I promise."
"Why should I believe you, Nymphadora?" he asked. "It's obvious you left headquarters and came here so you could be with Charlie."
"Remus, it's not like that at all. I said. Charlie and I are just friends. Yes, we did have a relationship for two years when we were at Hogwarts, but by seventh year, it became clear we both wanted different things, so we ended the relationship, but remained friends."
"Well, now you can go back to being more than friends, Nymphadora. You've made your choice, and it's obviously not me!"
"Don't call me Nymphadora, especially when I'm just trying to explain things to you and tell the truth, which you obviously don't want to hear!"
"You didn't mind being called Nymphadora last night," Remus said.
"This isn't last night, this is now, and I'm just trying to fix my mistake," I said.
"I'm just trying to talk to you, and find out the truth," Remus said.
"I'm trying to tell you the truth, but I can't talk to you when you're acting like this, Remus John Lupin!" I yelled. "I'm also not going to have this conversation in front of the Burrow, where everyone can hear."
"Fine, then let's have the conversation somewhere else," Remus said.
"Fine," I said, taking his hand and Apparating into the rushes near the house.
"Dora, where are we?" Remus asked.
"It's nice to hear you call me Dora again," I said. "To answer your question, we're in the rushes not too
far from the Burrow."
"Dora, do you promise the hug between you and Charlie meant nothing?" Remus asked.
"Yes, Remus, I promise," I said. "We're just friends, that's all we ever were and all we'll ever be. I chose you. I love you, Remus. Green eyes, yellow eyes, no tail, furry tail. I love you and I love Moony. There's only one way to have you believe that I love you."
I lifted my hair and showed him my injured forehead. "I injured myself for you. If that doesn't prove I love you, nothing ever will."
"Dora, I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Remus said, kissing my forehead. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You were sleeping, Remus. I didn't want to wake you," I said.
"You can wake me anytime you want, for any reason, especially if you're hurt," Remus said.
"All right, I will, I promise, I'll do that from now on."
"Dora, I want to look at your neck," Remus said. "Can we go inside and do that?"
"Yes, Remus we can," I said. He took my arm and we Apparated back to the Burrow. Arthur heard us and came out of the shed. "Tonks, Remus, I'd thought you left. Is everything all right?" he asked.
"Yes, Arthur, everything is fine. If you don't mind can we stay a little longer?" I asked.
"Of course, Tonks, you can stay as long as you need, even stay the night. You and Remus are always welcome here."
Arthur opened the door and led us to the living room.
"Remus, I didn't realise you'd come," Molly said. "Is everything all right?"
"It's fine, Molly," I said, stopping in the kitchen to take off my coat and scarf.
"Molly, I don't know if Dora told you, but last night I marked her. I don't expect you to understand what that means, but half way through my transformation, I gave her a gentle bite on her neck, which means that I've transferred a bit of myself as a werewolf to her. I don't think I've turned her, it simply means that other werewolves will be able to sense me, and with any luck they won't hurt her," Remus said.
"You're right, Remus, I don't quite understand what that means," Molly said. "But if there's anything you need, know that Arthur and I will help you."
"That's right, Remus, we'll help you any way we can," Arthur said.
"Dora didn't turn last night, but I think it would be a good idea if we both stayed here tonight, if that's all right with you," Remus said.
"That's fine, Remus, you can stay here as long as you like. I'll send Pigwidgeon to headquarters letting Sirius know what's going on," Molly said.
"Dora, there's something I want to ask you," Remus said. "Can we sit on the couch and talk?"
"Of course," I said. We sat down on the couch and I took my boots off. "What did you want to talk about, sweetheart?" I asked.
Remus examined my neck. "Your neck looks fine, but I think it would be a good idea if you took some Wolfsbane potion," Remus said. "I don't think I bit you hard enough to turn you, but I just want to be safe."
"All right, Remus, if you think its a good idea, then I'll do it," I said.
Molly got us goblets from the cupboard and Remus and I drank the potion. It tasted so awful, I'm surprised I didn't vomit. "If only we had some chocolate to get rid of the taste," I said.
"Look in your coat pocket," Remus said, smiling.
I walked over to the kitchen table where I'd left my coat reached in and pulled out a chocolate bar.
"Remus, you little sneak!" I exclaimed, sitting back down on the couch, leaning over to kiss him.
We split the chocolate, and had some supper. Molly told us she'd fixed up Percy's room for us, while Arthur Apparated to headquarters and got our trunks. We said good night to Arthur, Molly, Fred, George, Charlie, and Ginny, and went up to Percy's room. I closed the door, locked it and cast the Silencio charm.
"Why did you do that, Nymphadora?" Remus asked.
"Because I don't want anyone to hear what I plan on doing to you tonight, Remus," I whispered in his ear.
I removed my stockings, and led Remus over to Percy's couch, kissed him and laid down, pulling him on top of me as I went. I felt Remus' hand wandering over my dress. After a few minutes, he let out a growl.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked.
"Nothing, Nymphadora, I'm fine," he said.
"Your hands would rather be on my skin, wouldn't they Remus?"
I sat up and turned my back to him. Remus hesitated, but then I felt his hands move to unzip my dress. He removed it and my shirt. I pulled him back down onto me, eventually unbuttoning and removing his shirt. Remus picked me up and carried me to the bed and kissed me from my neck to my stomach, moving his hands over my skin at the same time. This continued until he transformed. Even after he did, he gave me several Moony kisses, which tickled. I fell asleep laughing and with a smile on my face knowing everything between us was all right.