For a man who spent most of his life looking forward to more of the same hard work and empty nothing, his eyes always cast down at the ground, Ennis Del Mar was changing. He was now frequently seen looking at birds, trees, skies of every mood, and the bluest eyes he could have never imagined.
For a young man who was sure that nothing had ever come to his hand the right way and never would, Jack was content and excited at the same time.
Each day he woke to anticipate looking into the depths of Ennis' eager brown eyes. Each of them was enjoying this new experience, this treasured friend, this companion where none had been expected.
It was August 1st, 1963 and all was right with the world. Actually, as far as Ennis and Jack were concerned, all was blissful with the world. But that was not a word they ever would have thought of, much less said to anyone – especially not to each other. But they felt it alright. Oh yes, they felt it.
The two young herders had experienced several big storms while tending the summer flock up on Brokeback, but last week had come a doozy. It was similar to the storm that had killed 42 sheep the year before, when Jack was up there all alone. The hail and constant lightning were proof to him that Ennis could drift off the mountain; it wouldn't be safe to let him out of his sight till the storm had blown through. Consequently, Ennis didn't return to the sheep that night, agreeing to stay relatively safe in the tent in Jack's arms. The frightened sheep strayed during the night and got mixed in with a Chilean flock on the next allotment. What a mess that had been to untangle. But together, they brought about a measure of order.
Ennis smiled as he thought about how he had teased Jack about playing his harmonica as they returned to the camp after getting the sheep sorted as best they could and the count somewhat right, "gonna run them sheep off again, you don't quiet down". Jack had grinned wickedly and continued to plague Ennis' with his tuneless mechanical whine.
When all was pretty much back to normal with the flock, Jack spent the night up on the mountain with Ennis in the pup tent. The stench Jack had complained about early on had prevented Ennis from using the tent up there his first night being "herder" to Jack's "camp tender" and he'd slept in the open against the same log that Jack had preferred. The next day he scrubbed the life out of that little tent in the mountain stream, and got rid of most of the sharp tang of cat piss, although not all. He hung the pup tent over a low tree limb to dry, Aguirre's rules be damned. At this point he didn't care if the Forest Service did find his tent, he was going to be as
comfortable in the small tent as he could make it.
Now that they were sleeping together they didn't care about something so insignificant as a musty smelling tent. They'd put up with worse before.
The next night both stayed in the large tent in camp, and the following night they were up on the mountain again with the sheep. Ennis killed another coyote that night. With this reminder of the very real danger to the sheep, they decided to stay up in the pup tent at least two nights to every one night down in base camp. This was their life now, sharing duties and staying together.
This one particularly soft, damp night, they had put the camp in order after having their evening meal of rabbit, potatoes, and beans and each had a half can of peaches. They sipped on a cup of Old Rose and Ennis began to feel a bit frisky. He grabbed the harmonica from Jack's mouth and ran around the camp with it, laughing. He told Jack his ears couldn't take it no more, and other unkind things, while he slowed his steps to make sure his man caught him soon. Because being more than an arm's length from Jack Twist was what Ennis really couldn't take no more.
What began with teasing, laughing and playing ended with hot, hard sex on the groundcloth. Each man's neck sported desperate suck marks, and they had clawed scratches on their hips and thighs. They'd cooled down while wrapped around each other. When not even their companion's body heat was enough to keep them comfortable, they'd buttoned and zipped up and pulled the canvas blanket up over their sleepy forms, Ennis and Jack were wrapped around each other so that one could not tell where he ended and his lover began.
While they slept, another front blew in. This new storm, compared to others they'd seen, wasn't much. But the lightning made a lucky strike; a direct hit on the tree that stood near their well-used tent.
As the tree fell inexorably toward them, it picked up speed, and made a groaning sound not unlike a human in agony. A sound which, had they heard it, they could not have prevented the disastrous end anyway.
Their cloth home was demolished, crushed beneath more than a ton of trunk and limbs hundreds of years old, no more to be a shelter for man, bird nor beast.
. . . Some time passes . . .
As the sun rose over the Piazza, Ennis began to groan and stretch, yawning to wake fully even though his chest was constricted by the weight of Jack against him. His back was aching as if he'd slept on concrete.
"Wha' the fuck!?" he said as he jostled Jack's shoulder roughly to wake him.
"Mornin', cowboy" said Jack, his eyes squinched shut as he yawned a huge yawn and stretched out his arms. Just then, Jack heard distant voices. His eyes flew open, and both Ennis and Jack stared around them unable to figure out where they were, or what they were dreaming. Could they both be having the same dream?
People were walking briskly, most were going in the same direction, on a street paved with stones. It was a street, right? What are all those columns? Where were they and how'd they get here? What was happening to them?
"Who are these people?!" cried Ennis.
"You see them, too?" asked Jack.
"Fuck Yeah, I do - you too, huh?"
By now, they were trying to stand up, their muscles aching as if a tree had fallen on them.
A grey haired woman wearing a black lacey thing on her head, approached them, smiling as if they were her long lost cousins. "Buon giorno!" she said.
They just stared at her as if she might sprout wings and fly.
"You reckon we're dead, Ennis? Is this heaven?"
"Dunno, bud."
Other people gathered around them, and began to smile, and talk to them but no matter how hard Ennis and Jack listened, they could not understand a word the people were saying.
"These folks sure are jolly, ain't they?" said Ennis. Jack just shrugged his shoulders. The people were almost laughing out loud, and sure enough, it looked like they were laughing at T H E M.
A man approached, smiling broadly and offering his hand, as if to shake hands. He said "Di Dov'e?" and as the two newcomers just shook their heads silently at him, he understood that they did not speak Italian, and did not know that he was asking them where they were from.
So he spoke louder.
And pointing to his chest, he said "Mi chiamo Michele."
Then he raised his eyebrows a fraction and asked "Come si chiamo?"
Still they stood mute, waiting for a word they understood.
When several passersby had tried Greek, French and Spanish on them all to no avail, finally someone asked, "do you speak English?". They breathed a sigh of relief and gladly began to say "yes, where are we?" and "how do we get home?" and "where is the restroom?" and other pertinent questions.
They learned that they had been a strange sight for folks coming to early morning Mass, as they were sleeping on the monument, the obelisk, in St. Peter's Square, at the Vatican. In Rome, Italy. As big a shock as it was to them to be here, it was still exciting, for Jack especially. He began to ask many questions of the good hearted person who was able to speak English and therefore help them in their time of total isolation. Linguistically speaking, of course.
"Vuole qualcosa da mangiare?" (would you like something to eat?) Ha, she laughed at herself as she remembered to speak English, then kindly asked them if they were hungry.
"Yes, we are." said Jack.
"Why not try some Italian? You know what they say, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do.' Just say "si" for yes."
She introduced herself as Signora Bellino. She told them she happened upon them because she is a daily communicant, and had been on her way to Mass.
They had no idea what that was, so they just nodded and smiled.
Jack tried again, "Si, Signora Bellino, we are very hungry."
In very short order, they were seated at a small round table outside a café, where waiters wearing crisp white shirts and black pants brought coffee without being asked, then took the food order from the older lady. While they were drinking the strong, wonderful coffee, and eating the fruit and crusty bread, Jack asked the Signora why so many people in the square were looking at them, and seemed to be laughing.
"Because of the book. You are the men on the book, are you not?"
They both gave her such puzzled looks, that she realized they knew nothing of the book, nor of how they got here to the basilica in Roma.
Jack was the more adventuresome in this strange land, and not afraid to appear foolish because of asking so many questions. "Please ma'm, Will you tell us what you know about the book? And why we woke up on that cement thing in a strange country?"
"Please, call me Philomena, and I will call Jack and Ennis, if that's all right. Ah so, it all began yesterday afternoon. A modestly dressed young woman came to the Piazza San Pietro, acting a bit strangely. She crept up to the monument, where you awoke this morning. She frequently looked over her shoulder, left and right. She knelt and bowed her head and pulled a small book from her purse. She tenderly kissed the book, and then standing on tip toe, she placed the book up as high as she could reach on the obelisk. "
"Well, what's that got a do with us?" asked Ennis. "What was the book about?"
Signora Bellino began again. "The book is called 'Brokeback Mountain, and. ."
At those words, Ennis and Jack looked at each other, both blanched, and became cold and clammy. "Go on, please." requested Ennis.
"The book is in English, so most people here could not read it, but word has circulated that it was about two men who have amore vietato, how you say. . .forbidden love . .a special relationship. They are in love with each other. The book tells of their attempts over twenty years' time, to have a life together. The picture on the cover is of the two of you, Jack, I swear."
"Twenty years?!?" gasped Ennis.
"Thought you said this was a one-shot thing, Ennis. Knew you was wrong about that, friend." whispered Jack as he smiled directly into Ennis' eyes.
"Why was that book placed on the monument, do you know Philomena?"
"From the inscriptions covering almost every page, Ennis, it appears it is a message to the Holy Father. He stands against love and marriage between two people of the same sex, and the messages addressed how mis-guided he is in this opinion. Many implored him to rethink his ideals, and to treat all people fairly."
Neither Ennis nor Jack could think of a thing to say about that. And then Ennis asked about anger. "Were the people who wrote in the book angry? Were they threatening?"
"No not threatening, I'm sure they were angry on some level, but all were simple requests for fairness, for a reassessment."
Ennis leaned forward and looked at Philomena as they walked away from the cafe, "Why're all these men wearing black dresses?"
She chuckled lightly and informed him that these men were priests from all over the world. It was a pilgrimage that they would make huge sacrifices for, to come to Roma, to see the Pontiff, perhaps even have an audience.
Jack asked, "Is the Pontiff, the same person as the Pope, Philomena?'
"Si, Jack. And he is sometimes called The Holy Father, as well. He has many titles across the world."
"Could we see him then? And ask him about the book?" enquired Ennis.
Philomena smiled and sighed. "Unfortunately, it's a very difficult, long process to see the Holy Father. People make reservations months, sometimes years in advance."
Jack nodded. "So if something is very difficult, it's like 'seein the pope', is that right?"
"Si, Jack. That is correct."
At this time, Philomena began pointing out famous buildings, fountains and statues. Most they had not heard of before. But when she took them to see the Sistine Chapel, they were both dumb-struck and in awe. They could have stayed there for days; too soon it was time to leave. Signora Bellino took them to a small ristorante where they had a wonderful meal of pasta with grilled vegetables. The men thanked her sincerely for hosting them all day, for feeding them, and for telling them about the book.
The light was fading, and Philomena indicated that she wanted to go to Vespers, an evening church service. They felt they had taken up enough of her time, so they said they would wander about a bit on their own. When she took hold of Ennis she kissed him on each cheek, then did the same to Jack. Walking away, she waved and called "buona sera, bambinos!"
"Wish we had some money to throw in this fountain. Look Ennis, at all the coins down there." Jack just seemed to know that romantic people from all over the world hoped for good luck when they tossed coins into this fountain.
"Humph, nothing good ever came from throwing away money, you ask me." replied Ennis. Jack just laughed at him.
Ennis wrinkled up his face and seriously asked Jack "Does this place seem normal to you, Jack? You ever see so many statues? Most a them seem to be a naked men, or even groups a naked people."
"I don't know about normal, Ennis, but I sure am enjoying looking at all those naked men. Whoo Whee boy. Did you see the dick on that one back there , "
"Jack! Stop! Someone will hear you. You gittin tired yet? Wanna find a place to sleep tonight?"
"Ennis, we ain't got no money a either kind, ours or theirs. Where you thinking a sleepin?"
"Dunno, Jack. Something just makes me think we should go back to the monument, you know, where we started at this morning."
As dark as it was, they didn't think anyone could see them there in the shadows of the obelisk. They wadded up their coats for pillows and wrapped around each other as best they could. Ennis put his hands on Jack's face and pulled him in for a kiss; just a light, loving goodnight kiss. No intentions behind it.
Jack reached down and cupped the front of Ennis' jeans, and squeezed just a tiny bit. "That was so you'd know I'm still here, Ennis. Good night, cowboy."
"That was mean, Jack Fuckin Twist. Now I'm all tingly and lookin for more.
How'm I supposed to sleep after that? Huh?"
"Well, are you sayin' that you need me to help you out, friend?"
"I sure as hell am!"
Chuckling like a kid, Jack unbuttoned all his man's buttons and put his face into the warmth of Ennis' southern regions. He pulled and suckled and swallowed and sighed. At some point, Ennis moved Jack so he could get at his buttons too. Soon both were making noises of release and happiness - right there in Rome, Italy, in front of the pope's house.
They just barely remembered to button up before falling contentedly fast asleep.
. . . some time passes . . .
It was dark as night; it was night. Ennis began choking, his mouth full of dirt and debris, he didn't know what it was. In order to catch his breath he attempted to jump up and walk around a bit. He was pinned down it seemed, couldn't jump up.
"Jack?"
"Jack!" cough Ennis reached out to touch Jack, but all he found was rough bark and leaves. He began pushing at the weight across his back, and found he could not move it. All of his body seemed to work though, he was not aware of any pain, but his mind was in a panic over what had happened, and where was his Jack.
"Hunnh?" Jack was struggling to wake to Ennis' calls.
Ennis realized that Jack was under him, mostly under his chest and arms.
"Jack, stay still. cough Something has happened, I don't know what. Going to try to get outa here." Ennis stopped struggling, had to regain some breath or he'd never get anywhere. He tried breathing more shallowly to stop some of the choking and coughing.
His efforts had caused him to sweat, and he was hot in his coat. If he could slide out of it, he might create enough space to slither out from under this thing that was holding him down.
Ennis touched the side of Jack's face, "you okay?"
"don't know yet."
They stopped talking to conserve breath. Seemed like hours later, Ennis was able to slither out from under the tree limb that had him held in place. He quickly surveyed what had happened, and almost passed out, just thinking what might have happened - they could both be dead right now!
'Del Mar, stop wasting time!' Ennis told himself. He figured out the best way to get Jack out, and encouraged him while Jack slithered and slid to freedom.
"That is one huge fuckin tree!" Jack said, when he could get away from it and see the situation for what it was. Their tent was completely covered by branches, the main trunk missed hitting them by less than two feet. He got lightheaded again, when he realized how close they came to being killed.
Ennis had found the water bucket and was rinsing out his mouth and eyes.
When they both could see, they turned to each other and reached out.
"C'mere."
"It's alright, it's alright."
They were trembling, they held tightly to one another for a time. And then they started running their hands all over arms, legs, chest, back, checking, double-checking.
"You all right, you sure you ain't hurt?"
"Jes' my head, it hurts like a sunovabitch."
"Yeah, mine too." He pushed the hair from Ennis' forehead. " ooooh, you got a goose egg. Do I?"
He ran his hands up Jake's face, and pulled back his hair, "you bet!"
They stood like that, arms around each other, and looked back at the tent.
Each was thinking how close they came to being killed, but neither wanted to voice that thought.
"When it gets full daylight, we can start sawing up some of those limbs, Jack. Just till we can get the tent free, and get our blanket rolls, and our clothes, not much else in there."
"Okay then. I could use some more sleep, Ennis."
"Yeah, me too, darlin'."
"You want a fire, Cowboy?"
"Naw, too windy and I'm not staying awake to watch it."
They snuggled down together against the log that they kept near the fire to sit on, it would serve as a windbreak since they had no blankets, and the morning was chilly.
"Had the strangest dream, Cowboy."
"Me too, tell you about it some time, bud."
As they drifted off to sleep, they held tight to one another, their treasure, their companion.
At sunrise, they stirred. It was going to be a beautiful day.
Ennis looked at his Jack, kissed the side of his face and said
"caio, bello!"
Jack smiled, ran his fingers through Ennis' curls, "ti amo, bello!"
- 30 -