A Better Idea - Chapter 42
Dear friends: Mother's Day – A Moment Between Here and There
Will Continue in Chapter 43
Genre: BBM
Pairing: Ennis + Jack 4 Ever
Disclaimer: I created the OC's but not the O/S characters. They belong solely to Annie Proulx, with some tweaking by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. No money is being made, nor fame and fortune of any kind.
Disclaimer #2: This story is unbeta'd so you have no one to blame but me for errors or controversy.
Rating: A Better Idea is all over the map, but the basic premise is that two men love each other. If you don't like m/m slash, don't read this.
A/N #1: I adore reading other author's fics, and they inspire me to continue to write. But this story, this ABI Universe is my original work. Any similarities, yadda, yadda, coincidence.
A/N #2 - Thank you to all those folks who've added me as a friend lately, and those who have been dropping hints about "when in the world is A Better Idea updating?". The last couple nudges came from nosunlight Can't Stand It and from Cwby30, prolific reader, faithful reviewer, and now writer. You guys are great!
Feedback: You bet. I hope you like it.
Chapter 42
The Déjà vu scene continued . . . .
This scene begins immediately following Chapter 38, where our two guys are packing up Jack's childhood mementoes. A flash of memory hits Ennis as he sees a certain boyhood treasure.
LIGHTNING FLAT, WY
Jack was sitting on the floor, pawing through ribbons, leaflets, his Mutton Bustin number "1963" with a rusty safety pin on each corner, a couple of old comic books and what looked like straw. Excitedly he dumped it all out on the floor so he wouldn't miss any of it.
He found a snapshot of his grandma and grandpa Bell, his aunts, uncles, cousins, mama, daddy and him at the State Fair. He knew it was '53 cause that's the only year he ever went. He was choked by a wave of sadness clogging his throat; he missed his grandparents.
Jack recalled that grandpa Will had asked a man named Wyler, of the Flying W, to take this picture of the family before they all got into the dirt, heat and humidity at the fair. Mama will be so excited to see this, he thought. He began to stand up to go show her the treasure he'd come upon.
When he raised his eyes to the silent room, Ennis was standing stock still, and staring. . . but not at Jack.
As Ennis had turned to see why Jack was being quiet, his glance fell upon a Gabby Hayes Western Comic Book on the floor. His eyes went from that dog-eared book, to Jack's face, and back to the book.
"You're Jack." he whispered in a tremulous voice.
"What?" Jack asked.
"I'm Ennis. From the fair, Jack. I'm Ennis. I looked for you all that week when my daddy'd let me outa his sights." His eyes were large and hollow like he'd lost his best friend, which is exactly how he was feeling now as well as back then.
Jack let go of the photo, picked up the comic book and looked up at Ennis. "In the sheep barn? It's you? Ennis? Ohmygod, I never put it together."
"Me neither, till just now. But hell, Jack! You know that many Ennises, that you didn't think it was odd? My name, and all?"
"Well, my mama has a distant cousin name a Ennis. And there was one boy in my school. It's an old fashioned name, but not totally unknown. . . oh my god, Ennis! C'mere baby. It's all right."
While Jack was speaking, Ennis' face began to crumple; he sat on the floor and reached out for Jack. Jack moved to rest his back against his old bed, and cradled Ennis against his chest, hugging him, still with that faraway look in his eyes. They were both seeing 1953, instead of 1984.
"I thought I'd lost you. We never even got to last names or nothing. Couldn't think of no way to find you, Ennis."
"Me neither, but I sure did try. We only stayed that week.
Did you ever go back?"
"Naw, did you?"
"Nuhuh, never coulda 'forded it. We only went that time cause daddy hired us out to the Flying W to help transport . . ."
"With that Mr. Wyler?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"He's the one took this picture." Jack retrieved the picture and handed it to Ennis. Showing his young self to Ennis, Jack felt kinda shy, but Ennis immediately loved seeing his long lost friend as he had looked back then.
"That's it, there you are. Can I keep this, Jack?"
"Ennis del Mar, you ain't never asked me for a single thing in your whole entire life; course you can have it, Cowboy. But I gotta show it to mama first, and. . .come on . . . . let's tell'em!"
"And after his daddy drug him off from the sheep barn, and I went off to ride in the Mutton Bustin, I looked up and down the midway everyday, checked all the pavilions and exhibits, and I haunted that sheep barn, but never did catch a glimpse a my new friend again. All that summer, back here at home, I thought "wonder what my friend Ennis is doing today?" . . like that."
Ennis just hung his head, remembering how lonely it was lookin for Jack high and low and never finding him. Mom massaged his wide shoulders, gently drawing circles on his back, then turned it into a hug.
"You boys made a solid connection mighty fast. It seems a miracle that you found one another again. But imagine! You didn't remember till today. That is strange, and you almost did not realize it, even now. The key was an old comic book. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I for one, am mighty thankful to Him that it all worked out eventually."
Ennis and Jack were nodding their agreement, but John remained stoic. He was in turmoil behind his silent face. So many thoughts running through his head. Recalling his hateful, vindictive old self: How he threw away Jack's black hat that Dad Bell had given him. 'That boy had too much pride, he'd show him. He needed to be taken down a peg or two!' John remembered it all as if it were yesterday, and was deeply ashamed of all of it. He knew he had wasted way too much time marinating in those bitter old juices!
For some reason this reminded him of the stormy day Bobby found the shirts and brought them into the light. Seeing those shirts again, here in Lightning Flat, was shocking to Ennis. He realized then that Jack had already loved him when they came down from the mountain in '63. He'd loved him so much that he'd swiped his bloody shirt and kept both shirts entwined and enshrined all these years. Ennis broke down that day and told the assembled family the story of the shirts and what they meant.
John recalled how the two boys, now men, reacted to these memories. How they'd said vows to each other, the shirts draped over their hands, and the family as their witnesses. It was the first time he'd ever allowed himself the idea that these were two people, like any other, who loved each other. Just like he loved Claire, as natural as the rain. Seeing them like that was a turning point in his attitude about many things.
But today, it was even more apparent, that these two men were meant to be together all along. Two chance meetings, and more wasted years, but finally together. "Finally. And thank God!" he said fervently and aloud. Claire caught her husband's eye; she saw that he was sincere, and nodded in agreement.
There was no more packing that day. Claire put on a pot of coffee, and set out a plate of peanut butter cookies, while she recalled aloud the Events she had entered, whether she'd won or not won. And the fun they'd had riding the rides, and eating all the fair food, like cotton candy, elephant ears, and corn dogs.
She said Kenneth took first prize for the most awful Technicolor Yawn, after eating three hot dogs and some pink cotton candy before riding the tilt-awheel again and again.
That week was so special an occasion because all the family was there at the Fair except for Harold and Lilah Jean, who were expecting their first within a week or two.
John joined the conversation to tell a couple of things that his father-in-law had said or done. He patted Claire's hand when she misted up, telling stories about her mother and father, now gone.
"Tell about the quilt you made me, mama." said Jack.
"What about it, son?
"Did you win a ribbon for my quilt?"
"I took second to your Aunt Iris! And she's the one who had insisted that I enter it in the first place."
"Can we show my quilt to Ennis? Where is it, mama?"
As Claire sorted through the items in the trunk, she was struck by a realization, and she sent up a prayer of thanks for her large, helpful, loving family. "Ennis, come here, honey."
She pulled out the Bull & Rider quilt and laid it aside; closing the trunk lid. she sat on it, and patted a spot beside her for Ennis to sit. "While I was going through these things, I realized that I came This Close to meeting you that week, and also your mother, daddy, brother and sister. I sure wish I had met you all, Ennis. I know I'da loved'em, especially your mother. Tell me about her, son, what do you remember? What was she called?"
Ennis got comfortable, scrunched up next to Mom and thought back to his childhood, before the accident. "Her name was Elnora Rose McCain Del Mar. Everybody called her Ellie. She always wanted to be called Rose, but was not, except by her best friend, Pearl, from grade school."
Ennis looked down at his lap, cleared his throat and began again.
"Her hair was the color a mine, but not as curly. She was pretty I think; maybe all kids think that. She was beautiful to me." Ennis looked up at Jack's family all looking at him, and his pride was shining in his eyes. "She loved to read and thought it was real important for us kids. She made daddy let us have 30 minutes on Sundays after chores was done, so she could read to us. She had a book called the Child's Garden of Verses, and read from that sometimes, or she would read from the Bible, too."
Ennis thought he'd said all he could think of, but when Claire nodded at him to go ahead, this flow of memories once started, just kept going. "She sewed hers and Maggie's clothes, but not for KE and me. She ordered what we needed out of the Sears and Roebuck."
Smiling he said, "Mother would sometimes snort when she laughed and that made us kids laugh too. She couldn't stand to eat brussel sprouts, nor okra, but she loved beans." He looked over at Jack then, and grinned.
Claire said, "Oh Ennis, thank you. Now I feel as if I know her a bit. What was her favorite color or flower, do you know?"
He thought but couldn't come up with anything. "Uh, I don't know for sure, but she grew yellow roses around the side a the house, and marigolds on the borders of the vegetable garden. And she wore a lot of brown. I thought she looked so pretty when she wore brown."
"And you don't have any pictures of her, or yourself?"
"No, Mom. But I got their trunk, with a few of their things in it, I'll check again to see if there's anything I missed."
Claire would see to it that this mother of Ennis del Mar had her proper homage on Mother's Day if she did nothing more. She owed her that, and prayerfully thanked her for giving her this son of her heart.
Excitedly, Jack picked up the quilt and brought it to Ennis. "See, Ennis, mama made me this cool quilt, and then took a ribbon with it at the fair. It was on my bed for years, till I got too old for it. This was from the time I first met you. Can you believe it?"
Ennis couldn't. He kept his head down, in case his emotions would show, and he didn't want that. "Let me see your picture again, Jack. I still can't hardly believe we didn't recognize each other there at Aguirre's trailer, nor all those weeks up on Brokeback."
Handing the photo to Ennis, Jack agreed, "I know! How could we not?"
Ennis studied young Jack, and said, "well see here, your face was a bit rounder, still some babyishness I think. And you surely didn't have that 5 o'clock shadow in them days."
"True, true, I did look young here." agreed Jack. "But I can't figure why I didn't recognize You. I would know those brown eyes and blond curls anywhere!"
Suddenly, the light came on in Ennis' closet of memories, and he recalled what had happened three days before they left for the Fair. "My dad skinned me right down to the scalp, just about."
He said. "There weren't no curls!"
"See, money was kinda tight and daddy was bitch er . . Sorry Mom. Daddy always complained about the cost of haircuts for two no 'ccount boys at the barber shop in town. He ordered a hair trimmer kit from Sears, and every year from the time I was five till, well forever, as long as he lived, he kept me pretty well shorn from Easter to Thanksgiving. KE fought him over it and got out of it when he was 13, but the year I was 13 was when they had the accident. I hated it, that summer haircut, and have never had that again. So, ya see Jack, neither one a us looked the same anymore. That's why we didn't recognize each other till now when I seen that comic book."
Tbc . . . . . in Chapter 43