Consultant is a Noun, not a Verb

Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin and USA network.

A/N: thanks to everyone who reviewed this story. Special thanks to Ultracape for the suggestions. I hope I did them justice… Anyway, please read, hopefully enjoy and review!

Chapter 3

Peter shook Neal gently trying to wake him; they had let him stay on the couch all night as they figured he needed his sleep and didn't want to disturb him. Elle had left breakfast on the table and Peter was hoping he could coax Neal into eating something.

"Hey, buddy. It's time to wake up, it's morning."

Neal shifted and groaned; his eyes slowly focusing on Peter.

"Where am I?"

"You're at my place. You fell asleep on the couch, remember? We had dinner last night."

"Oh…right."

Neal struggled to sit up, and then sat still for a few seconds trying to clear his head. He grabbed the edge of the couch trying to stand but wavered and sat back down.

"Easy there."

Peter reached out a hand to Neal's shoulder, and knelt to look in his eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. Elle left already, but she put breakfast on the table if you're ready. She set out some hot oatmeal with fruit, bagels and schmear."

"I'm really not hungry."

"Neal, you have got to be starving; let me help you to the table."

"Get your hands off me. I don't need your pity. Please take me home."

"Neal, you need to eat…you're clearly dizzy and you've lost weight…I think you are starving yourself to death and it needs to stop."

"Stop calling me Neal. You're the one who wanted it this way, so stop falling all over yourself trying to help now. It's too late."

"Too late? I own you lock, stock and barrel for the next three years…if you die all I'll have is a headstone, and they aren't helpful in solving cases!"

"It would be less annoying! All you owed me was dinner, and you couldn't even carry on a normal conversation, you left me and I had to eat by myself…some prize."

Neal paused, reflecting more to himself than Peter.

"Not that I was really hungry anyway."

"Neal, I'm sorry. I don't want us to be enemies. I want to be on a first name basis, but Hughes insists you show me more respect, and I can't blame him. I didn't do it because I wanted to. It's driving me crazy…I can't call you Caffrey anymore. It's what I called you when I was chasing you and I don't need to be reminded of that. You are a friend now…a friend who did something incredibly stupid, but still a friend. So, please call me Peter when we're not at the office, ok?"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Enough with the sarcasm. What you need is breakfast; try and stand up again."

Arguing with Peter had increased Neal's blood flow enough so he wasn't quite so dizzy. He was able to stand up on his own and make his way to the table; refusing assistance from Peter. Neal slowly took a few bites of the oatmeal with little bits of what appeared to be fresh peaches. He knew it should be delicious, but it tasted like gruel served to prisoners. He didn't think Peter would appreciate that thought though, but had no idea that Peter was watching his every move. Neal then reached for a bagel and spread some veggie cream cheese with the same care he would use if painting. Even after his careful preparation the bagel still tasted like cardboard and he didn't really enjoy it. He followed the bagel down with some milk hoping maybe it would wash the cardboard taste away.

Neal finally looked up and saw Peter staring at him with a concerned look on his face.

"What are you looking at?"

"I think you need a change of scenery. You're still under house arrest because that's the deal I made with Hughes to keep you out of prison, but Elle suggested you stay here so that she can make sure you eat; she thinks you've lost too much weight. You would at least have company if you stayed here instead of your apartment. Plus, I can keep my eyes on you…I'm sure you're the next target on this killer's hit list."

Peter looked to see what Neal thought of the idea, but Neal didn't respond.

"Would you like some more milk?"

"No, I'm fine. You were right…I betrayed you and undermined your trust in me. You have every right to be mad."

"But you stopped short of saying, 'It will never happen again.' Have you learned anything these last three weeks Neal? I got my butt royally chewed out by Hughes for 45 minutes straight for trusting you. He was going to throw you back in jail, and sometimes I wonder why I didn't let him. Why couldn't you just let us handle it? I showed you the file on the Semtex that Fowler bought because I wanted you to understand that we were working on it. I didn't expect you to try and kill him, but I guess I should have. How many times do I have to tell you…revenge is not the answer Neal."

"I thought it was justice OR revenge. I didn't get revenge, and I didn't get justice either."

"We will figure this out together Neal. I'm not abandoning the case; it's just more complex than it seemed at first."

"It would have been simple if you would have let me go…simple if you hadn't stopped me from running to Kate. It's your fault."

"I saved your life Neal; Kate was already dead…there was nothing you could do to save her."

"I bet you really like that verb. So noble, so honorable…you saved me! Why? Why did you save me? Here's some more verbs for you…eat…live…breathe…are these acceptable verbs for a consultant? There's no point…no reason to do these things."

"Is that why you're starving yourself? I don't believe that Neal, this is some kind of con you are pulling…some other way to get vigilante justice so you don't have to call it revenge."

"As if I could pull off a con right now! I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything except read boring case files and I can't even have a private conversation."

"And why do you suppose that is? I CAN'T TRUST YOU! I swear if I find out you are pulling something I will throw you back in prison so fast you'll get whiplash."

"Here's one more verb for you because I don't think you're getting it Agent Burke…die. You should have let me die! I wanted to be with Kate; I would have died for her if I could. If I'm already a target then maybe I should just let them kill me…let them win. How many people have to die before you realize you can't get justice? If I died would anyone care? Would anyone be fighting for justice for me? I'm nothing but a dishonest conman…a convicted criminal. Most people would say that my being dead would be justice. No one would fight for me. There is nothing the FBI can do to make this right. There is nothing you can do to make this right."

As furious as Peter was with Neal, he really and truly felt sorry for the young man. The look in Neal's eyes was pure anguish. Peter was convinced there was almost nothing he could say or do to convince Neal that Kate's murderer and Mozzie's attempted murderer would be brought to justice, but he had to try.

"Neal, no matter what it takes we will get justice for Kate and Mozzie. I promise you."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep Agent Burke. Justice is about punishment. I got 4 years because I was convicted of forging bonds. Did Gless think that was justice? What is 4 years compared to his reputation? Before, I would never have even considered or cared what anyone thought of justice because I was smarter than they were and no one could catch me. They deserved it because they were inferior. Now someone has killed Kate and shot Mozzie and it's because of me! Do I deserve this kind of punishment as a form of justice for what I've done in my past? What if we can't find whoever is behind this? This person, whoever it is, has to first be caught and then convicted. Can we even link this to Mozzie's shooting? If we even get that far prison would be too good for this person; it doesn't matter how many years they get. Kate is never coming back. What if Mozzie never comes back? I want this person to suffer…I want them to die a slow horrible death, and justice never allows for that!"

"Neal, we will find them…we will…I have to go to work."

Peter finished his bagel and slid his chair back from the table.

"Elle really wants you to stay here; she's extremely worried about you. She left you some clothes on the guest bed if you want to change. Just so you know there are agents posted outside for your protection; they are not just there just to make sure you don't run."

"Where would I go Agent Burke?"

"Are you really going to keep this up? Never mind. I don't want you to starve yourself today, please eat something."

"If you insist."

"There is plenty of food in the fridge. There are also some files on the mantle that I want you to review. I do appreciate your help greatly. This evening after work, if you decide you want to stay, we can drop by your place and pick up some things you'll need."

Neal looked up as Peter grabbed his suit coat and headed out the door.

"I accept your offer. Is that an acceptable verb?"

"Acceptable – yes, brownie point – no."