so...i know, i know. what a bitch.

(dragons are a thing. and martha does not have time for them or their slayers.)

Chapter 5

epiphany, the beginning of the end

When the bell had sounded early that morning Martha had been confused.

Confused and kind of annoyed because the sign hanging outside the door clearly states that the agency opens at nine. Not nine thirty. Not eight o'clock. Not eight thirty-five. Not ten to eight. Not freaking seven thirty. Nine o'clock.

Seriously. People kept showing up at her office well before opening time or well after as if she didn't pay good money to have her business hours etched into that glass door. She did not understand why the hell this kept happening.

Honestly she wouldn't have really minded if any of her surprise visitors had been even slightly interested in viewing any houses or apartments. But nope. No one with any interest, or any money, had visited her outside of business hours. Those people had sense and checked that she was open before entering. The people who seemed to enjoy bothering Martha at the most inopportune times had no sense. And the Fairy Tail guild mark somewhere on their person.

All she'd had for the last two weeks were headache after headache as Magnolia's least wanted started treating her office like their newest hang out.

She'd spent the entirety of Monday morning and afternoon trying to get Goldmine and his god awful excuse for flirting to leave her the hell alone. And it had escalated to the point where she was prepared to kill him if it meant that she was finally going to get some peace, before Yajima had finally intervened and dragged the bumbling idiot out the door. Tuesday morning had been dedicated to taking down the glittering decoration that Bob had somehow managed to cover her waiting area in, and chasing the winged fiend around with an oversized fly swatter. Wednesday had seen Makarov Dreyer―her favourite scoundrel―rock up at her front door like the little elf owned the place and start spouting excuses about his lack of rent payment. She'd swiftly kicked him out with the pointed end of her heel and an eviction notice stapled to the back of his ugly red shirt (Sure. It had been a childish move. But it was, mostly, an empty threat. And seeing Makarov's face pale and receiving a stack of bills the next day had been sooo worth it). Needless to say her opinion of Fairy Tail was only getting worse. And it was only after careful consideration that she had decided that torching the guild hall wasn't going to solve anything. Very careful consideration. Because quite frankly she's had enough of them.

So that summer morning at quarter to nine twenty eight year old Martha, bubbling with irritation, stood up, opened the door, and nearly slapped Porlyusica across the face.

It was only the sight of the female mages long pink hair and the permanent look of contempt in her eyes that saved the wizard from the full force of Martha's right palm. It's a good thing too. She quite liked Porlyusica―had even had tea with the wizard on the odd occasions when they had both managed to shake the other members of Porlyusica's guild―and would have been disappointed if their friendship came to an end because of a measly slap. Plus, she was fairly certain that the moody pink-haired girl could hold her own in a brawl (if watching her deal with Goldmine and Makarov had taught her anything it was that Porlyusica had a killer left hook) and Marth couldn't very well sell apartments with a black eye, now could she?

Martha stepped out.

"What are you doing here? We don't open up until―"

"Nine o'clock." She interrupted. Her voice was just as emotionless and flat as ever but Martha could tell by the wizards interlocked hands, white at the knuckles and reddish at the tips, that her doorstep was also the last place the wizard wanted to be right now. "I need you to come with me."

Martha quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

"Come with you? Where exactly?"

She could swear that Porlyusica had muttered something about "stubborn humans" under her breath but it was so early that she had chosen to ignore it.

"It's not safe for you to be here right now." The mage started. "The rest of the town has already been evacuated. Makarov went to your house to get you but you weren't there so he asked me to come here." Her frown deepened." We don't have much time, Martha. So I need you to come with me befo―"

Porlyusica shut her mouth and paled suddenly. It made Martha very nervous.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked, panic quickly setting in at Porlyusica's uncharacteristic silence. "What is wrong?"

The medicinal wizard remained silent and Martha was about to ask her again (and perhaps shake her once or twice for good measure) when she suddenly felt it.

The shift in the air as the wind suddenly picked up and her dress billowed around her. She dropped her arms to grip at the ends of her dress as the wind got stronger and stronger. Scraps of litter in the street suddenly filled the air, swirling as if trapped in a cyclone, and the rustling of papers in her office could be heard as they all fell to the floor. She looked up at Porlyusica's face. Her long pink hair was windswept, with strands flying free in the wind and some hitting her face but she did not seem to notice. Her eyes were wide and her mouth parted slightly as she focused on something beyond Martha. Martha turned to look behind her, but saw nothing. As she turned back a sudden rush of magic filled the air, twirling along with the wind, so strongly that it felt as though it had punched her in the gut. The weight of it settled in her stomach and the taste of iron coated her tongue. Porlyusica didn't move.

The whoosh of wind roared and Martha reached for Porlyusica's shoulder as the sound of glass breaking sounded all around them. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

The pink haired wizard suddenly meet her eyes. She must have seen something there because the frozen look of shock was suddenly gone and fierce determination coloured her eyes.

"Do not look up." She said.

She grabbed Martha's arm, pivoted on her right foot, and ran.

Martha let out a surprised yelp―that she would later fervently deny had come from her―as she was pulled along with the wizard.

They ran from the town centre to the housing district as Porlyusica raced towards some finish line that Martha could not see. Her hair whipped behind her as she ran, but her eyes remained glued to sight of Porlyusica's feet hitting the pavement. Why couldn't she look up? Where were they going? She almost asked but the sound of flapping was now so loud that she doubted the wizard would have heard her anyway. She focused instead on the pain in her left leg and the tear in her stockings. She was confused and tired and sweating and what the hell was happening? Her hand was cold were she and Porlyusica were joined and she could feel the other girls hand shake. The girl who was always so calm and sure and poised was shaking and tripping over every forth step and it scared her.

The flapping got louder and louder, like the sound of it was echoing from behind Martha's temple and she couldn't take it anymore. She finally looked up.

Her legs shook and her mouth dropped as Porlyusica's hand slipped from hers. The pink-haired mage looked back at her and screeched her name over the fierce winds several times, but Martha couldn't hear her. Her eyes were locked above her and one lone word escaped her parted lips.

"Dragon."

Martha woke with a start, her breathing shallow and her sheets discarded around her. She was in her living room, the light from the lacrima vision illuminated the room and her shirt was sticky from the melted ice cream carton that she had balanced on her stomach before she fell asleep. Ew. The chocolate stain stuck to her skin as she pushed herself up, back resting against the armrest. Her bones creaked at the sudden movement and she shook her head hoping that would clear the grogginess clouding her eyes. Well, damn. Had she really fallen asleep on the sofa?

She grabbed the remote and pressed the large red button, watching as the time came up on her screen. 4:39 am. Damn. She felt like she had just slept half her life away and her body was heavy with the feeling of slumber. Had it really only been about three hours? She recalled falling asleep to the sound of gunshots and the beating of horse hoofs from some old western that had been playing in the background sometime around one o'clock, but she'd really been hoping to at least make it through the night.

You are truly pathetic, the second said in a voice that was dripping in disgust, you know that, right?

As much as she wanted to ignore the hag―it felt as if her second conscience had picked up a megaphone and a shotgun and had them both pointed against her forehead ever since she had left Heartfilia's apartment, it was giving her a headache―this really was starting to get ridiculous.

Her head was pounding like a hoard of rhinos in heat, she felt bloated and she'd had, at the most, four hours of sleep with no further slumber in sight. And to top it all off she was in a truly abysmal mood. She had decided to take a nap when it became clear that her inner voice wasn't going to give her any peace of mind, let alone leave her to actually think up a constructive solution to this ridiculous situation, any time soon. So she had buried herself deep into her blankets and closed her eyes hoping to escape all thoughts of flamed perverts or blonde tenants. But that had been a complete failure. She had twisted and turned in her bed for several hours before reaching into the depths of her freezer for a tub of chocolate ice cream, grabbed a fleece blanket from her closet, and planted herself firmly on her sofa. Finding something decent on LV had been a disappointment too―you would think that with the hundreds of channels available something would catch her fancy but for some reason hours of reality LV didn't really speak to her and she wasn't in the mood to lose any brain cells. And when boredom had finally turned to fatigue and she'd passed out, her dreams had been plagued by visions of blond and pink haired fire breathing children with dragon wings running rampage through her apartment building chasing out all of her tenants, all while Lucy and Natsu had cooed sweetly at the little monsters and the fiery hell they left in their wake. And then that random memory, one that she hadn't thought about in years, had decided to resurface and knock her well and truly into consciousness.

It was honestly draining her.

Martha sighed. But it wasn't like she had anything better to do at the moment.

You're kidding me, right? Oh. You are not? Surely you have better things to do right now than sit on that ugly, old couch and stuff your face. Things that involve Magnolia's resident pink haired pyro and his busty blonde friend? You know? Important things like that.

She ignored the voice for the millionth time that day because as much as she may speculate and theorize, it wasn't like she had any concrete evidence. All she knew for certain was that Lucy Heartfilia was close friends―very close friends, the hag snickered, very very close ―with Natsu Dragneel. Natsu Dragneel happened to be a dragonslayer. Not just any kind of dragonslayer either. A fire dragonslayer. A fire dragonslayer who was also a member of the Fairy Tail guild. And this worried Martha exponentially.

Really? The hag asked. The whole destructive pyromaniac thing. That isn't a concern of yours? Okay. How about the potential pervert thing?

Huh? The hag sniggered, like a bratty little kid. Does that worry you?

Because Natsu Dragneel―just like Erza Scarlett, Gray Fullbuster, Lucy Heartfilla, and…actually…most of the wizards in that damn guild―had a little bit of a reputation in Magnolia. While the people of Magnolia loved the guild and would always support them, they were the very first to admit that the Fairy Tail guild could be rather wacky and that had effected how Magnolia ran as a town. It wasn't just the special defence system that they had in place for whenever Guildarts was home―which she honestly thought was ridiculous, someone should just tell the big lug to watch where he's going―the presence of all the guild members has affected the town to some extent. The streets have been widened to accommodate Erza Scarlett's love of oversized luggage. There are specially designated bins scattered throughout Magnolia where citizens can place any pieces of clothing that Gray happens to lose and forget about (He's really grateful too. The amount of money he was spending on clothes was starting to get ridiculous.). Not to mention the children of Magnolia have become much more comfortable in their skin and their sexuality since the mayor has recognized Gray's…ahem…'body positive' lifestyle. There is a drink called the 'Alberono Special' in almost every restaurant and tavern in the town, which is really just a barrel of beer. But all that is really besides the point―the point is that everyone in Fairy Tail has had an effect on the lives of the people of Magnolia.

And as for Natsu Dragneel?

It would be fair to say that the citizens of Magnolia have a rather special relationship with the pink-haired dragonslayer.

Natsu was, through and through, a true Magnolia citizen. No matter where his jobs took him or how many people started recognizing 'The Salamander' as one of Fiore's greatest young wizards, he always returned to his little cottage and his little town. People speculated that it was because he just didn't understand how 'famous' he was and how rich he could be if he left Magnolia and went to a bigger town or even a city like Crocus. Martha thought he was just stupid. Stupid and sentimental. Because, as far as she knows, from clandestine chats with an intoxicated Makarov, Magnolia is the only place that he has ever called home. He was raised by a dragon (a fire dragon called Igneel or Ignail or Ignial…whatever. As much as he brags about his alcohol tolerance, Makarov is a horrible light wait and real alcohol, like the vodka she keeps in her pantry, turns him into mess. Unlike that watered down beer he drinks at his guild hall. ). And as far as she knows a dragon would be too big to fit into any real house, and even if little Natsu could have afforded a mansion the hysteria that would have resulted in a real life fire breathing dragon living next door to a small town would have made that scenario horribly uncomfortable. So it would make sense that little Natsu had grown up in caves, curled up with his 'dragon daddy' for warmth. So after whatever happened to his dragon―who knew dragons could be deadbeat dads too?―Magnolia was the closest town from wherever the little was and his very first home. His initial reservations about leaving the little town, Makarov tells her one day, were all rooted in the hope that his dad would one day come back for him. Makarov thought the little boy's determination was admirable, and decided to make the kid a Fairy Tail wizard. He even asked her to find him a cheap place to live. She did it, of course, but that didn't mean she didn't think Makarov was an idiot for feeding this kid all that false hope. She told him as much. Many times. But the bastard had gotten more stubborn with age and wouldn't budge. And as time went by, and not bright red dragons appeared in Magnolia's skyline, Natsu still stayed. He missed and loved his father. Still had so much hope. But along the way he had also fallen in love with Magnolia. And in a weird twist of fate, Magnolia and Fairy Tail fell in love with him too. As much as the town could love a hyper active pyro who nearly burned down the town every time he got little too excited. Which they did. By investing in flame resistant buildings and clothing, as well as keeping an almost paternalistic eye on their growing local hero.

If you asked Martha she would say that the citizens of Magnolia treated the resident pyro a lot better than the little twerp deserved.

Especially, she thought, if he really is a pervert. The second laughed.

She didn't care if he had saved Magnolia and the world several time over, if he was threatening the reputation she had dedicated the last thirty years of her life to creating she would shave him bald, make herself a new pink shawl and turn the rest of him into a rug. And Makarov could stay mad for all she care, this was her money she was talking about.

That's it. Follow that thought, the hag said, sipping out of what Martha imagined to be a champagne glass, where is it taking you?

Martha pulled the blanket back around herself, her mind suddenly and remarkable clear, and smirked.

She knew exactly what to do.

Knock. Knock.

"Hello?" She rubbed her eyes." Ma'am is that you? What are you doing here so late? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes. Everything is fine."

"Oh." A awkward pause filled the air." Is that a key?"

"Why, yes. Yes it is."

"Um." A blonde eyebrow raised."Wh-what is it for? Are we getting a new tenant?"

"Yes. Something like that." Martha smiled."Lucy?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Say hello to your new next door neighbour." She smiled."I am moving next door."

this can only spell trouble right?

alternative title for this chapter: some people just love to watch the world burn, martha is one of them.

(natsu makes quite the impression in the next chapter...so look out for it.)

let me know what you think.

r&r