Plastic Is In
There was a special party going on, it was Zarbon's sixteenth birthday, although he was still going through an awkward phase called puberty, he did the best he could to hide his acne, yes Primal Changelings do get acne, possibly because they have a human gene somewhere in them, making them more vulnerable to getting pimples.
Zarbon stared into the mirror looking as a zit that he got the night before, "Oh God I look so ugly! What would Freezer think?" he asked himself.
Kiwi was on the bed looking at a Playboy magazine with a hot alien on the cover, "Just don't pop it or anything, you'll spread more germs that way. Don't pick at it either, you'll get more pock scars then you need." Said Kiwi.
"Ew no way! I can't afford scars on my face!" said Zarbon putting come acne cream on his zit.
Kiwi put the Playboy magazine down, "Who exactly are you trying to impress, yourself or a girl?" asked Kiwi.
"Myself of course." Said Zarbon.
Kiwi shook his head, "That's what I wanted to hear! Because if you were trying to impress some girl, then Freezer would have a cow!" said Kiwi.
"But I'm not interested in a certain woman right now, I'm having a birthday party! I can't look horrible, people will laugh at me if I look horrible!" said Zarbon.
"Hell I'm ugly, and I don't care!" said Kiwi.
"I think you're missing the point Kiwi!" said Zarbon.
"What about using that facial cream to cover your zit up?" asked Kiwi.
All the sudden a light bulb went off in Zarbon's head, "That's a brilliant idea! Thank you Kiwi!" said Zarbon who got some of that mousse cream out that matched his skin tone and he put some on.
That night, the party happened, Freezer invited a lot of lords and ladies to the party, along with the concubines and male whores, Freezer was bi in case you haven't noticed. While Freezer was on the thrown with Cooler, King Cold was in bed. Kiwi and Apple were sitting at the table with Zarbon.
"God it sure is a great thing that you're sixteen! That's like totally awesome!" said Apple.
"I remember my sixteenth birthday, I spent it with my girlfriend and my children." Said Kiwi.
"Are you talking about the so-called family that your girlfriend murdered and committed suicide afterwards?" asked Apple.
"Well I've only had one girlfriend and one family in existence Apple." Said Kiwi.
"Oh so does that mean that you have an imaginary girlfriend too?" asked Apple laughing.
Kiwi waded up a napkin and tried to throw it at Apple, but it didn't get very far, it fell down in the middle of the table. Zarbon then sighed, "Guys please, not on my birthday." Said Zarbon.
"Come on Kiwi, Zarbon is right, this is supposed to be a special occasion for him, don't ruin it!" said Apple.
"I'll never be loved by a woman." Said Zarbon.
"What are you talking about, you've grown from a fat kid, to a very handsome young man!" said Kiwi.
"Yes that's true, but even if I'm vain, I'm really shy around women." Said Zarbon.
"It's ok I know how you feel, except the vain part." Said Apple.
Little did Zarbon and his misfit friends know that watching them were some high classed concubines for Freezer and Cooler. There were two changeling woman talking to one another and a primal changeling woman, they stared at Zarbon and his friends.
"Looks like I need another conquest besides Freezer." Said the pretty primal changeling woman with her turquoise skin, purple eyes and long thick blond hair.
"Oh Verochka, why don't you do it with Shasha again?" asked Antonya one of the changeling women who had white skin, purple lips and hair, and red eyes.
"No Shasha fucks me too roughly." Said Verochka fanning herself.
"Maybe Dodoria, he does it wonderfully!" said Alice the other changeling woman with brown skin, with some purple streaks on her skin, red eyes and of course black hair.
"No he's too ugly, uh and he smells funny too, I want the one with the short green hair and the turquoise skin over there by those two ugly whatever the hell they are." Said Verochka fanning herself intensely.
Alice looked at Zarbon, "Verochka, do you have any idea who that is?" asked Alice.
"No haven't a clue, I don't know why I haven't seen him around here before." Said Verochka.
"That's Freezer's heir to the empire Prince Zarbon!" said Antonya.
"Really? Maybe I can marry him for myself and rule the empire with him when Freezer dies, with the exception of course of having male boyfriends in the mix." Said Verochka smiling.
"Oh scandalous!" said Alice laughing.
"You're such a cougar!" said Antonya laughing.
"Enough of this brash talk, let's go over and introduce ourselves." Said Verochka.
So the whores were walking over to Zarbon and his misfit friends looking elegant as usual. Apple noticed that they were coming over, "Hey look there are a few beautiful women coming over to our table!" he yelled.
"Don't be ridicules, beautiful women don't like us," said Kiwi taking a sip of wine.
Zarbon looked up and saw them too, especially that gorgeous blond primal changeling, the same species as him, "I'm afraid he's not kidding." Said Zarbon.
"Maybe it's you they're after!" said Kiwi.
"Oh come on, three woman approaching me for my attention, that sounds too good to be true." Said Zarbon.
"Hello would you fine gentlemen care to join us for a waltz?" asked Verochka fanning herself intensely.
Kiwi looked at the primal changeling, oh my God he knew who she was, "Verochka! How are you?" he asked.
She looked at Kiwi all upset, "Do I know you?" she asked.
"Remember me, Kiwi, your fish friend?" he asked.
"No I've never seen you in my life!" said Verochka.
"That's ok I suppose you wouldn't mind if I asked one of your lovely friends to dance with me?" asked Kiwi.
"Go right ahead." Said Verochka.
Antonya giggled, "Sure I'll dance with you!" she took him by the hand.
Kiwi then burst into song, "It's a lovely night, a lovely night!"
Then Antonya got mad, "Please don't sing!" she said taking him to the dance floor.
Apple looked shyly at Alice, "Would you like to dance cutie?" she asked him.
He blushed, she was really pretty to him, almost as pretty as that blond primal changeling, "I would, please!" he then went onto the dance floor with her.
Zarbon then blushed when he looked at that older primal changeling lady, "So how do you know Freezer?" he asked.
"Why Freezer and I have been friends since childhood." She said.
"So that would mean that you're how old?" asked Zarbon.
"Only one hundred years old." She said.
"Wow you don't look at day over fifty that's for sure." Zarbon said.
Verochka laughed, "Thank you sweet young man, as you know probably unless Freezer hasn't told you, we can live to be at least three hundred years old." She said fanning herself intensely.
Zarbon then got concerned mistaking her flirting technique for a cry for help, "Are you burning up in here?" he asked.
"Oh I'm so hot, it's so hot in here, I could use a glass of water with cold ice in it!" she said panting.
"Coming right up!" said Zarbon running to get her a glass of water.
She smiled, "What a sucker!" she said to herself.
He came back with a glass of ice cold water, "Here you go!" he said offering it to her.
"Oh never mind I'm cold now," she said.
"Whatever, I could use one though." He then drank that damn glass up.
She was surprised at this naïve young man, hasn't he ever talked to girls before? What were his issues? She smiled, "Perhaps you would like to come to my room?" she asked.
"I can't leave I have guests," Zarbon said.
"Ok lets go behind the curtains, I want to show you something back there!" she said taking him by the hand.
"Verochka I don't know Freezer might get mad at me." Said Zarbon.
"Don't worry about a thing," she said pulling his pants down, Freezer used to do that to him when he was a little kid, and he used to give him blowjobs, this freaked Zarbon out and whole bunch of memories came back to him, the way Freezer badly treated him sexually abusing him as a child.
"Sorry I have to go!" he yelled.
"Go? But we haven't even got started!" she said.
"Sorry but I have to!" Zarbon yelled all the sudden he ran into the curtain and fell onto a table knocking stuff off.
Later on, Zarbon was in the nurse's office getting a bandage on his leg, the nurse looked at him oddly, "What happened to make you fall onto a table and bang your leg up?" she asked.
"Oh this really pretty girl tried to give me oral sex, but it reminded me too much of when Freezer used to give it to me when I was a child." Said Zarbon.
She looked at him funny, "Boy do I feel sorry for you!" she said.
"Don't worry about me I'll be fine." He said.
Apple came running in with Kiwi and their so-called new found loves, "Are you all right Zarbon, I saw the whole thing!" said Apple.
"Yes I'm all right!" said Zarbon.
"Ok how many fingers am I holding up?" asked Kiwi holding two fingers up.
Zarbon frowned, "Kiwi I'm not that injured." Said Zarbon.
"I hope you're all right," said Apple.
"Apple will I see you again?" asked Alice.
"Of course we can, it was nice meeting you." Said Apple.
"You too," said Alice who then kissed Apple on the cheek and left.
Zarbon rolled his eyes, "So has anyone seen Verochka?" asked Zarbon.
Kiwi ignored him, "So Antonya, do you want to go do it in the back seat of my convertible?" asked Kiwi.
"You don't have a convertible Kiwi." Said Apple.
"Hey a guy can dream can't he?" asked Kiwi.
"No I have no interest in seeing you again, good bye heathen." With that Antonya walked away.
"She knows she likes me!" said Kiwi.
"She just said that she didn't want to see you again." Said Zarbon.
"Zarbon, Zarbon, you are so naïve when it comes to the opposite sex, she's playing hard to get!" said Kiwi.
"I don't think it looked like it, otherwise it would look like she was teasing you." Said Apple.
"How are you supposed to tell if someone is serious or not Apple?" asked Kiwi.
"Ok knock it off you two! Where is Verochka?" asked Zarbon.
"Yah about your new girlfriend Zarbon, she's kind of what we fish people call on the wrong end of the fence." Said Kiwi.
"I don't get it." said Zarbon.
"In other words she is only interested in sex," said Kiwi.
"How would you know?" asked Zarbon.
"Let's just say that I've been around the block a few times," said Kiwi.
"You mean you slept with her?" asked Zarbon.
"Duh, what did you think I meant, she even charged me more then she charged Freezer, she must be getting rich off this sex stuff." said Kiwi.
"That does it, if you ever talk negatively about her again, I'll knock you out cold you got it?" asked Zarbon.
"I didn't say you couldn't have her, Jesus Christ! But good luck, you'll need it." said Kiwi.
"Wait I thought that you said after your girlfriend killed your children with her and committed suicide that you didn't want to go near another woman!" said Apple.
"I didn't say I wasn't uninterested in sex did I?" asked Kiwi.
"Ok this conversation is over! Its grossing me out, I'm going to go find Verochka!" said Zarbon walking out of the clinic.
"Wow someone is moody!" said Kiwi, while Apple just shrugged his shoulders.
Verochka meanwhile was sitting out in the garden sniffing some flowers, she then threw them into the pond, it was the first place that Zarbon looked, probably following her sent, "May I sit down next to you?" asked Zarbon.
"I don't see a sign that says you can't." said Verochka.
Zarbon sat down next to her, "I'm sorry about freaking out, it's just that no girl has ever given me oral sex let alone done it with me."
"Wait are you trying to tell me that you're a virgin?" asked Verochka.
"Not exactly, I lost my virginity when I was about four, or was it five, I can't remember." Said Zarbon.
"What? Weren't you a little too young to be having sex?" asked Verochka.
"No you don't understand, Freezer is a peta file and he raped me and other various children." Said Zarbon.
"Uh I don't see what you're complaining about." Said Verochka.
"Is it true that you've had sex with Freezer before?" asked Zarbon.
"Yes he did it with me when I was a young girl, and I think I got pregnant by him once, and he asked me to get an abortion." Said Verochka.
"What, but Freezer is against abortion and he's infertile." Said Zarbon.
"He just says that to gain sympathy." Said Verochka.
"I get the weirdest feeling that you like me, is that true?" asked Zarbon.
"Yes of course it's true, let's make out!" said Verochka.
"Well as long as we don't make love then I'm ok with just making out!" said Zarbon, but to shut him up she grabbed him and kissed him on the lips.
Later on the next day, Zarbon was all happy in the morning, he went to Freezer's bedroom, "Good morning Lord Freezer!" said Zarbon.
"Good morning Zarbon, it's been a long time since you've come in to say good morning!" said Freezer.
"Freezer don't get mad at me, but I met the most amazing girl in the world and…." Before Zarbon could finish, Freezer interrupted him.
"Didn't I tell you that women were off limits until the day I die?" asked Freezer.
"Yah but you might not die that soon." Said Zarbon.
"Well as long as you didn't have sex with her, then I'm all right," said Freezer drinking coffee.
"Well we did make out though, last night in the garden!" said Zarbon giggling.
"Who is she?" asked Freezer.
"Well about that, she used to date you I think." Said Zarbon.
"What's her name, on with it boy!" said Freezer.
"Verochka." Said Zarbon.
Freezer spit his coffee out, "You mean that pathological liar that I vanished from my court room and gave her to Cooler instead? You must me joking!" said Freezer.
"Ha you're just jealous that I found true love and you didn't!" said Zarbon sticking his tongue out at Freezer.
"Put your tongue in or I'll cut it off!" said Freezer.
Zarbon put his tongue back into his mouth. "She is not my ex girlfriend, she's my ex concubine!" said Freezer.
"No she can't be a concubine, she's too beautiful to be one." Said Zarbon.
"Boy you're naïve more so then I thought," said Freezer.
"I think she used to date Kiwi too." Said Zarbon.
"She didn't date him, she had sex with him for money! I know so because I heard rumors about it and I vanished her to Cooler's court!" said Freezer.
"You're wrong about her! She's nice and beautiful!" said Zarbon.
"Zarbon stay away from her, don't waste your money on her!" said Freezer.
"I don't associate with whores Freezer, I'll only have sex with a female if I want to mate with her and start a family! By the way I heard that you told her to get an abortion after you impregnated her!" said Zarbon.
"What I did no such thing! I'm infertile you know that, that's why I adopted you, so that I could have a son of my own and have an heir to the throne, and a personal slave too." Said Freezer.
"You're wrong about her, she's not a whore!" said Zarbon.
Then Zarbon started singing Green Sleeves beautifully as he walked out of the room, "Alas, my love, you do me wrong. To cast me off discourteously. For I have loved you well and long. Delighting in your company. Greensleeves was all my joy. Greensleeves was my delight. Greensleeves was my heart of gold. And who but my lady greensleeves!"
Freezer shook his head, "What a ditz!" he said.
Meanwhile Apple was looking everywhere for Alice, "Alice, Alice!" yelled Apple.
"Here I am!" she said running towards him.
"Hello, I missed you!" he said.
"I've only not seen you for a day, and I miss you too!" she said.
"Oh Alice please tell me that you love me!" said Apple.
"Yes I do, but we just met, shouldn't we get to know each other?" said Alice.
"Hey Apple get away from her!" yelled Kiwi.
"Kiwi what are you doing here, can't you see I'm talking to my girlfriend!" said Apple.
"What, it's impossible, you're too ugly to have a girlfriend!" said Kiwi.
"Well at least I have more of a personality then you!" said Apple.
"Sorry to say this, but your girlfriend is a prostitute!" said Kiwi.
"No she isn't, tell him Alice!" said Apple.
"It's true I am a prostitute, I've slept with many men in Freezer's court." Said Alice with a sad look on her face.
"No its not true!" yelled Apple.
"Yes it is, Kiwi I'm afraid is not kidding!" all the sudden Antonya appeared out of nowhere.
"Well, well looks whose here, if it isn't my ex girlfriend Antonya!" said Kiwi.
"I don't like you fish head, get lost! I only wanted to sleep with you!" said Antonya.
"Yes that's true, but you like me!" said Kiwi.
"Oh did you just want to sleep with me too Alice?" asked Apple.
"No it was much more then that!" said Alice.
"Ew gross, come on Alice let's get away from these peasants!" said Antonya.
"Hey I'm not a peasant!" said Kiwi.
"I grew up in the projects, but I'm not a peasant either!" said Apple.
"Come on Alice, we have to go!" Antonya took her by the hand and led her down the hall.
"Apple!" yelled Alice.
"Alice!" yelled Apple.
"Trust me it's a good thing that she's gone." Said Kiwi, while poor Apple started crying.
Meanwhile Zarbon went looking for Verochka and he came across Shasha.
"Shasha get out of my way!" yelled Zarbon.
Shasha smirked, "You get out of my way little primal changeling." Said Shasha in his thick, deep Russian accent.
"Look have you seen Verochka?" asked Zarbon.
"I haven't talked to that bitch in over year now!" said Shasha.
"Never mind you're useless!" said Zarbon trying to walk away, but Shasha got into his way.
"You would be wise to stay the fuck away from me!" said Shasha, he then pushed Zarbon out of the way and walked away.
"God I hate him." Said Zarbon to himself. All the sudden bumped into Verochka.
"I was just looking for you!" said Zarbon.
"Come with me! I have something I would love to talk about with you!" she said.
She took him into her room, she took her hair out and let it all down, wow that looked great to Zarbon, "You know Zarbon you would be a perfect mate for me…." Said Verochka.
"Yes I knew it, you do love me!" said Zarbon.
"However, there is one small thing that I require of you." She said.
"Anything." Said Zarbon.
"I want you to change your nose," she said.
Zarbon then went from smiling to gasping, "You mean plastic surgery?" asked Zarbon.
"What did you think I meant?" asked Verochka.
"Hold on just a minute!" said Zarbon, he went running to find Kiwi.
Kiwi was walking down the hallway on his way to do a mission, "Kiwi I need to talk to you!" said Zarbon.
"What is it? I have to do a mission, Freezer said so." Said Kiwi.
"Verochka said she would be my mate if I get plastic surgery!" said Zarbon.
"Don't do it!" said Kiwi.
"Why not?" asked Zarbon.
"Look its just pillow talk!" said Kiwi.
"Pillow talk?" asked Zarbon.
"In other words she's just telling you this stuff so that she can sleep with you, after you get that plastic surgery she'll fuck you and dump you!" said Kiwi.
"No you're wrong, she's nothing like that!" said Zarbon running down the hallway.
"I tried to warn him." Said Kiwi tisking.
Zarbon went back to Verochka's room, he tried to open the door but it was locked, "That's funny!" said Zarbon.
All the sudden the thought he heard a voice, which said, "So you want me to give you the dirty Sanchez or do you want me to do it dogy style?" it was Cooler's voice!
"No it's not true!" said Zarbon, then the broke the door down and Verochka screamed and covered her naked body up under the covers whereas this was possibly the first time that Zarbon had ever seen Cooler naked!
"What is the meaning of this?" asked Cooler looking at Zarbon.
"I'll just leave!" said Zarbon as he left not wanting to cause a scene.
That morning Zarbon drank at least three cups of coffee, he was sitting with Kiwi and Apple, "Wow I'm sorry that you had to find out that way that she was a dirty, no good whore." Said Kiwi.
"I'm sorry I threatened to knock your block off." Said Zarbon.
"It's all right, I get threatened by Freezer all the time, but for some reason he just don't have the guts to kill me. I guess it's because I intimidate him!" said Kiwi.
Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Hey Apple how come you haven't talked all morning?" asked Zarbon.
"Because Alice is a hooker too!" he said crying and blowing his nose.
"Well at least I'm glad I didn't get a nose job, I'm too perfect looking for that." Said Zarbon drinking another cup of coffee.
"Dude that has been the fourth cup of coffee that you have had today." Said Kiwi.
"Trust me, I stayed up all night, I couldn't sleep." Said Zarbon.
All the sudden they noticed Cooler, Verochka and Antonyah walk by, Verochka and Antonyah smiled and then stuck their noses up in the air and walked by holding onto Cooler's arms. Zarbon got mad and slammed his coffee cup onto the table. "Don't worry Zarbon, she'll dump him in a couple of months!" said Kiwi.
"Not the way I see it." Said Zarbon.
"Yes I truly knows that Antonyah will." Said Kiwi closing his eyes and putting his arms behind his head.
"He's so delusional said Apple all depressed.
All the sudden she walked up to the table, it was Alice, "Apple hello." She said.
"Oh no its her!" said Kiwi.
"Hello Alice, what's happening?" asked Apple.
"Look I have to eat breakfast with Cooler, I wish I could eat breakfast with you, maybe we can meet sometime tonight if that's all right with you." Said Alice.
"Yes that would be great!"said Apple.
She then kissed him on the lips, Zarbon smiled and Kiwi got mad, "I'll see you later then." She said waving her handkerchief at Apple.
"Looks like someone has a girlfriend!" said Zarbon.
"Oh I don't know about that…" said Apple blushing.
Kiwi then looked angry at Apple.
End of Story