a/n: holy moly, look who decided to actually post... again!

yeah, I don't think it's such a shock anymore. We've been fairly consistent :P
Well, maybe... anyway. You know who doesn't update? The chick that owns these characters (is anyone still annoyed by the lack of a real book 5 release?)

I am! But then again, I'm afraid to read it, so I don't think I count
Well you know what's NOT scary to read? This fic right hurrrrrrr :D

YUP YUP!!!! So shall we?
Yes'm! Please review, we love it.

EPOV

Well, fuck that.

I had no idea what was going on with her, but it had to be important if she was calling me crying first thing Monday morning. The pain in her voice... the utter despair. Bella shouldn't feel like that. She didn't need to feel like that. There wasn't anybody else; it was just Bella and I in our own fucked up little world. I needed her to survive, and she thought I'd been seeing someone else? I scoffed at the thought of anyone meaning as much to me as Bella did. No one could ever touch that. She was my sun, moon, and stars. Nothing meant anything without Bella to illuminate it.

I pulled up to her building and ran up to her apartment, throwing open her apartment door. I was panting as I looked for her, and my eyes finally landed on the curled up lump in the recliner. I walked over to her carefully, and pulled her into me, sinking down onto the floor. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She pushed her face into my tee shirt and began sobbing uncontrollably. "you... for a week... her... the weekend.."

I was so confused. "Tanya? Baby, her who?"

She shook her head, her tears coming harder. "you didn't... for a week. Why...?"

I sighed, running my fingers through her hair. "Baby, Ben's here. I told you this. I haven't seen him in three years."

She shook her head again. "not once... then the thing about Tuesday... and it wasn't me..." She said, before starting to sob harder.

Shit. I knew that would come back to bite me. I meant to see her on Tuesday, but I had a shoot. It was the only day I could get it in. I kissed her forehead, pulling her tighter into my body. "With Ben here, and all the work I had backed up, I didn't have any free time. I meant to see you Tuesday, sweetheart, but I couldn't do it. I'm so sorry, love."

"D-don't lie to me Edward.." She said, her tears now soaking through my tee shirt.

I nuzzled her cheek a little, closing my eyes. "I'm not, Baby, I swear. I love you; there's only you for me. I promise."

Bella sniffled, then pulled away to look at me. "You couldn't tell me that you were that busy? Not even text me? Not once in a week?"

Fuck, she looked so broken. I hated that I'd done that to her; absolutely hated it. "I didn't think you'd notice. You've been so busy... I didn't want to bother you."

She scoffed, trying to choke back her tears. "Edward, I'm in lovewith you. Head over heels, want to spend the rest of my life in love with you. I'm never so busy that I wouldn't notice you being gone, and I'll never betoo busy for you. Never."

Well, there you go. That's where I went wrong. I treated Bella as though she were Tanya, and it was biting me in the ass. My poor Bella. "Baby, I'm sorry. I fucked up. But I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Not my stupidity nor my carelessness. I love you, Bella. I'm so sorry, Baby... so sorry."

She wrapped her little arms around my neck, and held on tightly. "Wha-what about your weekend away?"

It felt so, so good to have her arms around me. "Vancouver with Ben. He has a house up that way so we went to make sure it was okay." I squeezed her tighter to my chest.

She sighed, "So..." She said, taking a deep breath. "you don't have any other girlfriends hanging out in the wings for when you're bored with me?"

I laughed to myself. Really? "No, baby. Of course not. You're it for me, always, remember? And how could I ever be bored with you? You bring my world to life."

She pulled away, then pressed her lips to mine hungrily. "I love you. I just-- I can't lose you."

I pulled her into me, tucking her head under my chin. "You won't Baby. I promise. You're it for me. For always. I love you, too. More than you could possibly know."

She relaxed against me, and started nuzzling my neck. "You scared me last week. I thought you were over it, over me."

"Never, baby. Not ever."

"Can you stay today?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I think I have some making up to do."

She pulled away, trying to brush the tears from her face. " No, well... If you have stuff to do Edward, I don't want to stop you. You can come by later or tomorrow or something."

"No. nothing could keep me from you today."

"You sure? You said you didn't get much work done last week. I'll be fine if you need to take care of work stuff."

"Baby, you were hysterical. Do you honestly think I'd leave you now?"

She took a slow, deep breath. "But I'm fine now, see?" She said, and one look at her red, puffy eyes told a different story. "I want you to take care of what you need to Edward."

I smiled sadly and kissed her forehead gently. "I need to take care of you, Bella. That's what I want."

She sighed once more before she tugged my hand. "All that crying made me exhausted. Can we go to bed, just for a little bit?"

I stood up carefully pulling her with me and taking us to bed. I cuddled up beside her, kissing her forehead. "Baby, I'm sorry. I love you, okay?"

She pulled off her sweatshirt, and pulled me down onto the bed with her. "I love you too."

She hadn't said the words, and I hadn't been forgiven, but for now that was okay. All I needed was to be wrapped up in Bella, making up for the ways I had fucked up.

I'd spend the rest of my life doing that if that's what she needed. That's just how I loved her; as though there wasn't any one else in the world worth loving.

Funny.

In my opinion, there wasn't.

BPOV

"I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN, I'LL FOLLOW YOU TIL YOU LOVE ME... PAPA... PAPPARAZI...."I stirred hearing my cell blaring on my nightstand. I grumbled and rolled over, out of Edward's reach as I grabbed my phone.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

"BELLA! Thank GOD! Michael said you were out of the office today; I'm so glad you picked up!" I heard Francois voice exclaim quickly on the other end. I yawned, not trying to hide it. "Mhm, I was resting. What's up?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry to bother you but Macy's? They're trying to withdraw their offer in place with one less appealing. We need your expertise to figure out our next plan of action from here. Do we counter or do we take it as an insult and withdraw completely and contact H&M?" I sat up straight as his words filtered through the receiver.

"WHAT?! Withdrawl!? Francois they were two seconds from giving you a hand job for Chanel to pick them, and now they want to REVISE their offer? NO!" I shouted, running my hand through my hair. I felt Edward shift and wrap his arms around my waist, nuzzling my hip bone. I moved my hand down to his scalp, massaging it as I tried to calm down.

"Francois, we finalized this deal. They can't do this; I won't let them." I said firmly. Francois gave me the low down on what had happened in his last conversation withe their representative and I kept shaking my head as he went on and on about how it just snowballed into a big mess. "Okay," I sad taking a breath. "Here's what we're going to do. What's the number for the VP of product distribution?" I took down the person's full name and number as he read it off to me. "Okay, I'm going to call him now. I'm sorry I wasn't in the office to handle this earlier - I had a rough weekend and needed a day to recover."

"Oh rough weekend, huh? With the walking sex of a boyfriend perhaps?" He teased, lightening the mood. I shook my head, laughing a little. "No-- no, the complete opposite actually. But it's okay now." I said sighing and looking down at Edward. I could tell he was awake because his breath was less even as it fanned onto my thigh.

"Okay, well again I'm sorry for the disruption we just need to get this handled ASAP. I sent you about 500 e-mails the past hour so just ignore them." He said with a chuckle, seemingly calmer than when he first called.

"Okay, I'll look at those too before I call... Mr. Herman Winthrop." I scooted my butt over to the edge of the bed and out of Edward's arms once again as I walked towards the living room where my laptop was. "I'll call you back once I've spoken with him. Everything will work out because it's fucking balls that they're pulling this now." Francois laughed and agreed, giving me his cell phone in case I couldn't reach him at his desk number. I shut my phone and opened my laptop going through the e-mails that he'd sent regarding the issue, along with numbers that I needed to argue the case. I was taking down notes in a separate window for the phone call when I felt Edward's lips press into the top of my head.

"Hey." He murmured against my hair.

"Hi." I said, sighing as my eyes stared at the ROI chart and toggled back towards the wordpad file I'd opened for notes.

"What's going on?"

I let out a ragged breath and shook my head, "bullshit with everything I worked on in New York."

He pushed his nose into my hair and I leaned back against him. "Oh?"

"Yeah, it's just..." I bit my lip glancing between two charts that were supposed to reflect the same data and were in fact doing in opposite directions. "SHIT!" I shouted groaning as I pulled up the one I needed to fix and began typing frantically trying to correct the information. Once I had fixed the data I leaned against the back of the couch and felt Edward's chin rest on my head. "I'm sorry. I just thought everything had gotten settled before I left, and now this..."

"Baby, do you want me to go? You can take care of this, and I don't want to be in your way."

"No... no it's fine." I looked up and kissed his lips upside down. "I just need to make a phone call really quickly and tear someone a new asshole." I replied smiling sweetly against his lips.

"Okay." He replied, kissing my lips quickly before snapping his neck up. "I'll get coffee, then? Give you some privacy?"

I nodded. "Thanks baby." My eyes fixated back on the computer screen and I dialed the number to speak with Mr. Winthrop.

An hour went by before I walked out of my bedroom, beaming with victory. Edward, on the other hand looked upset and my face immediately fell as I walked around the sofa and sank into his lap where he was sitting in the recliner. "I'm sorry that took so long baby."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "It's already two; did you want to grab some lunch with me or did you need to get going?"

"Up to you, love. What do you have time for?" He asked, shrugging and picking up the old issue of People magazine that was sitting on the coffeetable

"I'm off today. That... thing, was just a blip. I'm all yours til you have to go." I replied kissing along his neck softly.

"I love you." He whispered, pulling me closer and burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"I love you too." I moved my head so we were at eye level. "So, how does ice cream for lunch sound to you? I'm craving it like nobody's business."

He nodded and grinned. "Okay, sounds good."

I smiled against his mouth before kissing him. "Favorite flavor?"

"Chocolate. You?"

"Pistacio."

"Do we have to go out though? Can we just run down to Walgreen's or something?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked furrowing my brows. Was he embarrassed to be seen with me in public now that he was back?

"I just... I don't want to be out there, and thinking about everything else. I just want to be with you. I... I hate having to share you, Bella, and it feels like the only time that you're really mine is when we're alone. I fucking hate that we have to hide." He sighed, echoing nothing but sadness. "I hate it."

"Everything else?" I asked, sitting up up his lap. "What do you mean?"

"Everything,Bella. All of it. Them and work, and life and Alice and my mother... oh, Alice wants you to call her, actually."

I loved how it had turned from Tanya and James to a single entity stopping us from being together, them. I sighed and nodded. "Okay, just remind me to get her number from you later." I paused. "We don't have to go out though; I may have some frozen yogurt in the fridge."

He tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. "Just gimme a minute? You were right. I was busy, so I could avoid the ache, but now you're here and I just need you." I looped my arms around his neck and nodded as I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm here baby. I'm not going anywhere. Take as long as you want."

His lips grazed along my neck as he whispered, "I want us to have forever."

We sat there with me curled up in his lap for awhile before my stomach gurgled and I felt him laugh against my skin. We stood up and moseyed over to the kitchen where I made us a late lunch of champions: ice cream sundaes. We leaned against the island in the middle of my kitchen talking about random stories from college when I heard my phone ringing in the living room. I sighed, putting my bowl down and jogging over to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells." James' voice echoed on the other end. "James, you're up... early?" I said, forming it as more of a question. He chuckled "Yea, I just haven't slept well since Wednesday when I last saw you. I miss you Bells." I felt my heart rip and wished that what I was about to say wasn't a lie. "I miss you too."

"Have dinner with me tonight?" He asked sounding worried that I might shoot him down. I glanced over at the kitchen where Edward was. We hadn't discussed ending things, and a part of me worried that he had repaired things enough with Tanya in my absence to want to hold off on breaking up with her. "Don't you work tonight?" I asked, staring at the back of Edward's head. "Yeah, but I should have a break around 8. Can you meet me at the hospital? We could have a gourmet dinner of hospital jello and freshly thawed sandwiches." He joked, and I could hear his smile through the phone. I sighed and felt myself nodding. If Edward hadn't broached the subject with me yet, I was pretty certain he wouldn't be any time soon. "Okay, I'll meet you at 8."

"Great!" He said, sounding pleasantly surprised at my answer. "Love you Bella."

"Mhm, you too." I said before hanging up and walking back over to the kitchen. "Sorry about that." I replied picking my bowl back up and trying to eat the remnants of the ice cream that hadn't melted.

"Everything okay?"

"Mhm." I said scooping up the liquid ice cream in my spoon.

He nodded, staring down at his bowl. "So..."

"That was James." I spit out. Ugh, why did I feel guiltyfor talking to my boyfriend?

His eyes shot up to mine and his shoulders hunched over. "Oh."

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Yeah."

The room fell into an awkward quietness and I looked down at the tiled tabletop. "I love you, you know?" I said after the silence had gotten to be too much. "Like, more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone."

"I love you, too."

I saw his lips twist into a smile and I sighed to myself before moving to stand between him and the counter top. "You know what I think?"

He reached around, putting his bowl on the counter top behind me, before meeting my eyes. "What's that?"

"I think we should spend the rest of the afternoon pretending it's Sunday." I smirked.

"...But, James..."

"... isn't the person I need." I finished for him.

"You need me?" He asked, with an unsteady tone in his voice. My face fell at his question. I thought that was more than apparent with my earlier meltdown. I nodded moving my hand to cup his jaw and look him directly in the eyes. "Always."

His hands reached up to cup my cheeks and he stared into my eyes so intently, I wondered if he was trying to look through me. "Bella, you have no idea how much I need you. I may be shitty at showing it, but I need you. I need you."

I smiled, my lips gently brushing against his as my breath fanned over them and I whispered, "then show me."

EPOV

A few hours later, Bella pushed me out of her warm comfy bed and I started to head home when my phone began to vibrate. I snapped it open without looking.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Edward."

I sighed, "hey, Tanya. What's up?"

I heard her moving things in the background. "Can you stop home?"

"Uh, Baby, I was on my way."

"Okay, good. I'll see you when you get here." She said before hanging up. How freaking odd. Going into it, I wasn't nervous. I didn't feel like something big was about to happen, because honestly, the rest of my life was driving across town to the hospital to see her boyfriend. I should be going home to her. Maybe I could tonight.

I went up my front walk without trepidation or fear. Change was coming. And it felt good. "Tanya?" I called, stepping through the front door and moving toward the light in the living room. She was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, her hair pulled off of her face and her make up gone. She looked so much like the girl I fell in love with that it made my heart break.

"Hey," I said, kissing her forehead gently. Her hands came up and grabbed my face, "I need to talk to you about something."

I searched her eyes, but saw nothing. Completely closed off to me, just like always. I took a seat beside her and she began shuffling through papers, "I think we're a go for September 13."

I looked at her confused, "Go for what?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "To be married, dearest pie."

I literally fucking gaped at her. "You're joking."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Uh, no. That's when I can fit you in."

I scoffed, "Fit me in? Tanya, you're supposed to want this, you know. You aren't supposed to be able to 'fit it in'."

"Whatever, Edward, you know what I mean."

"Do I? Because I'm thinking that if you can only pencil me in, I don't want to do it."

Her eyes snapped up to mine and she looked at me coldly, "Edward Cullen, you take that back."

I took a deep breath, "Tanya, I think I'm taking something else back."

Her breath hitched uncomfortably, "Excuse me?"

I shook my head, "Tanya we're just not... we're not working out right now."

She blinked at me. "But we're seeing the counsellor. We're working on this."

I nodded, "We are, but I'm not too keen on planning a wedding when we're already trying to work things out. The foundation isn't steady, and I can't... I can't build my future on something that's unsure."

Her eyes were hard as she watched me like a snake in the grass. "Unsure? Edward, we've been together for seven years. No one else for SEVEN FUCKING YEARS! What about that sounds unsure?"

I ran my hand through my hair, and all I could think of was Bella. I was sure of her, and I was sure of her love. That was all I needed. "Look, I just think that we need to slow this down a little bit. I can't... I can't commit to this right now."

Her lips were in a tight pucker, "Can you ever?"

If Bella leaves me. "Once we're solid again."

She sighed, and her posture slumped slightly. "Okay."

I leaned in and cupped her cheek, "Hey... I'm not leaving you right now," But I want to. "And shit will work out, okay?"

"I just thought it would make you happy. I actually looked at my schedule so that we'd be able to go to Santiago for the Honeymoon while I'm at that conference thing I was telling you about. You always wanted to go to South America."

I sighed. She almost had me. Al-fucking-most. I sighed, "Yeah. But we can still go. It just won't be a honeymoon." Not much of one, anyway.

She nodded, "Your mother called, by the way. You should call her back."

"Okay, thanks babe." I moved away from her and into the kitchen to call my mother, breathing a sigh of relief on the way. It felt like a million pound weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I dialed my mother's number and waited.

"Esme Cullen." She said, warmly.

"Hey, Mom, it's Edward."

"Evening, Sweetheart! How are you?"

I laughed. "Fine, what's up?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to see my little boy. Could you come down and kiss your mother?"

"Yeah, Mom. I'll leave now. And I'm not so little."

She chuckled lightly into the phone, "You'll always be my little boy, Edward. No matter how old you are."

So apparently I got my over dramatic nature from her. "Okay, Mom. I'll see you in a few. Love you."

"Love you, too Darling!" She cooed, then clicked off. I settled the phone back into the cradle and went to tell Tanya where I was going.

"Babe? I'm going down to see my mom for a few."

She turned to look at me, "Oh?"

I nodded, shifting my weight. "Yeah. With all that time away, she just wants to see me."

She rolled her eyes, "How is old Ben?"

"Good. You know, Ben. A mile a minute."

"I hope you weren't a mile a minute in Vancouver."

No. Just in Seattle about two hours ago. "No way, Babe. We were just at the house, I promise."

She sighed, "It's okay. Whatever. Hey listen, can you do me a favor?"

"Hm?"

"Can you... can you spend the night at the studio? I have a ton of work to get through and I really don't need any distractions."

I let out a deep breath, "Yeah, that's fine. Call me in the morning okay? So that I know you're alright?"

She smiled softly at me, "Okay. I love you, Edward."

I smiled half-heartedly back at her. "Love you," BELLA! My mind screamed. "See you tomorrow, Honey."

And with that I was gone.

The drive to the hospital was uneventful, and I kept arguing with myself about calling Bella and asking her to spend the night. I was still thinking about it when I was walking through the hospital doors and saw my Bella.

My Bella.

My Bella, her arms wrapped around James, hands in his hair and lips on his.

I didn't know that one person's heart could hurt that much.

BPOV

I pulled away from James' lips and tried my best to smile. His lips were definitely not Edward's and didn't move as easily against mine. Plus, even 5 years later he still drooled a little through long kisses; was it really that hard to breathe through your nose?

Dinner had gone well; we hadn't fought and James hadn't brought up how pissed he was about my job picking up steam and my hours going haywire. He admitted that he felt bad about making my job seem inferior to his, even though his job was "saving lives" and mine was "wasting peoples time" - with commercials. I still hadn't corrected him; if after 3 years he didn't get that my job had nothing to do with TV ads then he wouldn't ever get it. He and I talked about spending more time together - his idea. He said with me being away he claimed to finally understand what I was going through with wanting more time together. He walked me back to the main entrance/exit and kissed me with gusto.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bells?" He asked brushing his thumb against the back of my neck. I nodded, pulling away slowly. "Yea, okay. I'll call you after work?"

"Okay, maybe we can meet for dinner again here on my break?" He asked looking at me wide eyed. I gave a half smile and nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"Love you Bella."

"Me too." I couldn't say the words anymore, not to him; not when I knew those words were only true when I said them to Edward.

I turned back and jogged through the parking lot in the rain towards my car. I squinted as I noticed something off and as I got closer the discrepancy got clearer. Fuck, a flat tire. I quickly got inside my car and dialed AAA. "Hello this is operator Harry, ID number 75903 how can I help you?"

"Yeah, I have a flat tire and need a tow truck?"

"Okay ma'am, let me just pull up your information..." he said as I gave him all of my insurance info. "Great, and are you in a safe situation?"

"Um, yeah. I'm in a parking lot at the hospital." I replied. I heard the clicking of his keyboard as he typed. "Okay, unfortunately since it's heavily raining we have multiple incidents before you so it may be awhile."

I groaned internally. "Okay, what's awhile?"

"Currently I'm showing a wait time of between two and two and a half hours." Ugh, I could probably walk home in less time than that; but fuck it was pouring out. "Oh, okay. I'll wait I guess."

He confirmed my location and I hung up, leaning my chair back and staring up at my roof, poking at the fabric. Wonder-fucking-ful.

After only twenty minutes (based on the time on my cell) I was growing restless and the car was getting stuffy. I decided to weather the storm literally, and wait outside for a bit.I threw on my brown peacoat and buttoned it up fully before stepping out and leaning against the hood of my car, shoving my hands into the pockets.

These were the days I wish I smoked cigarettes if for no other reason than to keep warm. My hair was practically soaking wet when I saw the hospital doors open and a familiar head of bronze hair stroll out. "EDWARD?!" I called out, standing up straight and quickly jogging over to him.

He looked taken a back at my advance and for a moment I wondered if Tanya was around.

"Hey." I said, grinning from ear to ear as we stood under the awning of the Emergency Room entrance.

He bit his lip, seemingly nervous and ran a stiff hand through his hair. "What's up? Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I pointed back towards my car and shrugged. "Flat tire, waiting on the tow truck." I paused before looking up at him. "Everything okay with you?"

He turned to look past me, to look at my car. "You want me to change it?"

I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. "I uh... don't keep a spare in my trunk."

"Oh. I think the one from the volvo will fit."

"It's okay. I called AAA; they should be here in an hour or two."

His brows furrowed together, and his face expressed concern. "That long?"

"Yea, unfortunately. The weather I guess has caused a lot of trouble on the road so they're pretty backed up." I shrugged. "It's fine though, wasn't like I had any plans for the rest of the night." I replied laughing a little.

"Bella, I can't leave you here." He stated, as if it were some universal truth. His body moved closer to mine and I smiled. "It's fine Edward. Really I'm okay, just bored."

He pulled away abruptly, glancing to his sides before hesitantly speaking. "Ah. I see. Okay... well, yeah. Um, so it was good seeing you. I'll... uh, call me when you get a moment."

I watched him pull away and grabbed my phone out of my pocket dialing his number. He reached for his phone positioning it between his ear and shoulder as he walked towards his car. "Hello?"

"I miss you already." I breathed into the phone.

I watched him stop dead in his tracks. "I miss you. Should I keep walking?"

"Yea, but turn around and walk in this direction instead."

He pivoted on his heels, facing me and still talking into the phone as his eyes met mine. "Is this okay? Are you sure?"

I began walking over to him, smiling and nodding my head as I closed my phone. I slowed down as I approached him my lips clenched in a scowl. "How dare you Mr. Cullen." I scolded playfully.

He smiled his infamous half grin. "How dare I what?"

"Walk away from me without a kiss goodbye." I whispered before sliding my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me and crashing my lips against his. I pulled my mouth away slowly, resting my forehead against his.

His breath was heavy against my face as he panted. "We can't do this here, love."

"I don't care Edward. Right now, I don't fucking care who sees me loving you." I pressed my lips against his slowly and delicately at first before sliding them against his with a bit more purpose. I would never get tired of these lips.

His arms snaked around me, pulling me closer to him. "I'm not getting married."He murmured into my hair.

I looked up at him. I must've heard wrong. "What?"

"We're still together... but I'm not getting married." He stated, sighing dejectedly. "I felt so much better about it before I actually said it out loud."

"Why?"

"Because it's not enough." He said, losening his grip and slowly backing away from me.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. "Edward, it's something." I smiled a little and kissed his cheek. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing. I got kicked out."

I pulled my neck back, shock written all over my face. "You what? But how? Isn't it like... yourhouse?"

His head turned up and he looked at me quizzically. "I got kicked out."

"Um..." I laughed a little at the absurdity of it. How could Tanya kick him out of his own home? "But it's your house."

"It's her house, too. I got kicked out before... when I was at the Republic."He said with an apathetic shrug, like it was no big deal.

My eyes widened a little, and I took a breath. "Do you want to stay with me?"

He didn't say anything for a beat, and I was worried he'd say no. "I don't want to inconvenience you."He replied softly.

I smiled a little and cupped his jaw with one hand. "Edward, I love you; you are never an inconvenience."

He pushed his cheek into my hand, murmuring into my palm, "Let's go home."

"What about my car?"

"Do you want to wait? I can take you somewhere?"

"Yeah, I probably should. But I'll call and tell them to let me know when they're on their way so we can come back."

"Okay."

I took a few steps away from him and called back AAA to see if they could notify me when the driver was on his way. Fortunately the agreed and said it would be another 45 minutes to an hour. I snapped my phone shut and walked back over to him. "Ready?"

He wrapped his hand around mine, bringing it to his lips for a kiss and nodding.

EPOV

I sped back to Bella's apartment, and I made sure I was completely wrapped up in her as we made our way up the stairs.

"I think we need more time together, love." I whispered, pushing her down on the couch.

The smile that spread across her face was unbelievable. "I agree."

I crashed down on top of her, gasping as the heat from her body radiated into mine. "We haven't had a date in forever."

"Not since New York. Is it time for another?"

"I hope so." I said, kissing her softly.

"Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

I thought for a moment, nuzzling her neck with my face. "Wednesday?"

She sighed sadly against my cheek. "James is off Wednesday."

Yeah, I didn't see a problem. But apparently, Bella did so I went with it. "Oh. You name the day then."

"How about Thursday? After Dr. Carlisle's?"

"Yeah. Okay. That's a little..." I laughed, "a little ironic."

She pouted slightly, "Yea, I guess. Friday then?"

"Whenever you want, love." My breath hitched when memories of Bella from that morning pushed into my mind. "Really, whenever you want. I... I'm sorry again. For last week, I wasn't thinking."

She shook her head, running her hands over my back. "I know Edward. It was just a misunderstanding. But next time, if you're that busy, could you just like.. text me or something and let me know?"

I nodded, "Yes love." I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. "You should meet Ben, though. You'd... well, you'd get a laugh."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

I shook my head thoughtfully. "He's just... insane. To put it mildly." I collapsed on top of her, burying my face in between her breasts. "Do you put different perfume in here?"

She shook her head, running her fingers through my hair. "No, why?"

I nuzzled in between them, taking a deep breath. "You smell different here. Like Freesias."

"Maybe it's my shirt?" She wiggled around a little underneath me as she pulled off her top. "what about now?"

I trailed open mouth kisses over her skin, then over her covered nipples. "Still freesias."

Bella sighed, "Oh. Well then.." She whispered, "... i don't know why."

I kissed her one more time, then rested my cheek over her heart and listened to the beat. Solid and sure. I wish mine beat the same. "I love you, Bella. It's like I don't know how to do anything else."

She smiled down at me, her fingers once again tangled in my hair. "I love you too."

"Bella, there's nothing that you could do or say that would make me walk away from you." Fuck, the words were tumbling out.

She pushed her legs into mine. "I'm going to break up with James."

I felt my body freeze on top of her. Yes. "You are?"

She pressed her lips affectionatly to my hair. "Mhm. I mean, what's the point of dragging it out? I don't love him. I can't even pretend that I do anymore. When he says it I can't say it back, not even as a lie. I can't because I feel like if I said it, even as a lie to him that it would diminish the love I have for you, and it's worth when I say it to you knowing my entire being means it."

Guilt.

Pure fucking guilt was running through me, and I didn't know what to do. What a mess I'd made. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath again, "So today was about change?"

"Yea, and taking steps towards Edward and Bella being a forever." I felt her smile into my hair as she murmured, "To Edward and Bella Cullen."

Bella Cullen. Isabella Cullen. Mrs. Isabella Cullen. I sighed. She'd be mine forever. "I want that, you know. You have to realize how much I want that."

"And how much is that?" she asked.

I sighed again. How could she not see it? But then I remembered the way that she was this morning, and the fact that she was 'the other woman' and I knew why instantly. "Bella... I have nothing without you. Nothing. And so, it would almost be as if the moment you stopped loving me and being with me I would... cease to be. It would be as though I'd never existed."

She shifted up so that we were eye level with each other. "Well then you will exist forever Edward, because I'm never going to stop loving you and being right here with you. You have me as long as you want me." She said, kissing me softly.

I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath. "Do you mean that? Really?" Please, please let her mean it.

"Of course I mean it. My life is a hollow shell without you beside me."

My face dropped back to her chest and I tried to hide how happy I was. But then I thought... why? I looked back up at her, moving to her lips. "You don't... you can't have any conception of how good it feels to have your love."

"Sure I do. It feels just as good as hearing you echo the sentiment. I love you." She pressed a kiss to my lips quickly, "I love you." Kiss. "I love you." she kissed me one final time, but this time left her lips hovering over mine.

"I love you, Bella." Words seemed inadequate, but they were all I had.

"Forever." She whispered.

Fuck, I hoped so. I really hoped that we could make it through everything and be okay at the end of the day.

But as long as Bella was with me and in my arms, I couldn't think about it. It was all too real and there was never anywhere else that I'd want to be.

Always with Bella.

Never without her.