Unapologize

By: PricklySare

A/N: Once again I'd like to thank my wonderful beta. M, I couldn't keep writing if it weren't for you! You've been amazing. :)

I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story so far, and I'm so glad that all of you with the exception of ONE person, have enjoyed the various points of view. I did it for a reason, not to drag the story out, but to give insight that will help the story in the long run.

Now, without further ado I give you Steph's thoughts and the story starts to move forward again. --Sare

Chapter Ten: Steph's POV

Ranger handed me the file on the FTA and slipped into his zone as we drove the twenty minutes to Diablo. Giovanelli wasn't a nice guy, and I wasn't looking forward to having to be up close and personal with him tonight, especially since I was still enjoying the afterglow from my multiple Ranger induced orgasms. God was that man ever potent. I could still taste him on my tongue and feel him hard between my thighs.

Something had changed tonight, but I didn't have time to think on it. I wasn't ready to think on it. Tomorrow was soon enough. Tonight I needed to get the scum into cuffs and then I was going to enjoy drinks with the girls; and maybe a few dances with Ranger later on. I could feel my body flush in anticipation at the thought. Focus. I needed to keep my mind on target or this night was going to end badly.

When we pulled into the parking lot around the back of the building two sets of headlights flashed at us. The guys were waiting and ready to go. I'd read the file, memorized the photo of the guy and was as ready as I could be. "You ready to do this?" Ranger asked me.

"Not a very nice guy, but I'm as ready as I'm going to be," I replied. His hand gently caressed my cheek before he leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and tasted of hidden passions. My heartbeat sped up and I wanted to do nothing more than wrap myself around him and lose myself to his body. Unfortunately, we had a job to do. Damn responsibilities.

"Tank and Lester are inside already. Bobby and Hal will be outside covering the exits. They'll hear everything that's going on. The way you look in that dress tonight," his voice was husky with need and I felt moisture dampening my thighs. "is enough to make the Pope follow you around. Giovanelli doesn't stand a chance." I was horny as Hell and getting ready to go inside to trick the FTA into cuffs. Shit. "Just remember, he's not as nice as he looks. Don't let him get you alone."

"Not planning on it," I told him. Really, I had no desire to be anywhere near Giovanelli, but it was my job to make him think he was the hottest man alive. I'd just have to think about the man sitting next to me and remember what we had been doing less than an hour ago. "The only man I want alone is sitting next to me," I said with a smile. It didn't escape my attention when his cock jumped in his pants. Man, power is good.

"Playing with fire, Babe," he said.

Yes I was, and I was going to enjoy every second of it. Consequences be damned. "Guess it's a good thing I like the heat," I said; my voice a little huskier than it was a moment before. Focus, Steph! I slipped my hand into my dress and flipped on the mic before opening the door.

"Go get 'em, tiger," he said. It was show time. I headed toward the door of the club and added an extra little swing in my hips for the guys' benefit. Sometimes, it was awesome being a girl.

Lester was the first of the guys I noticed when I strolled into Diablo. He appeared to be in deep conversation with a platinum blonde blow up doll, and I inwardly winced. I really hoped he had more respect for himself than to even have a momentary fling with someone that...fake. I noticed his barely perceptible nod indicating Giovanelli and focused on my target. I added an extra little swing to my hips and headed toward the bar where he was sitting.

Giovanelli wasn't what I would call an ugly man, he wasn't even a boring looking man; he just made my skin crawl. He was Ranger's height but lacked his muscle mass, and was noticeably softer around the middle. His brown hair was stylishly unkempt, and in need of a trim. In other words, he probably just came straight from the stylist. Everything about him seemed contrived, like he was trying too hard. Unfortunately, that didn't make him any less dangerous.

I did a quick mental evaluation of what I needed to do to finish this job quickly, and decided my best bet was to get a drink I could use to draw attention to my mouth. Men love lips, breasts, and legs, not to mention other more intimate parts of the female body that I wasn't willing to work with to get this sorry excuse of humanity back into the waiting arms of the law where he belonged; so a sexy drink it was.

"Sex on the beach please," I told the waiting bartender, flashing him a smile. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Giovanelli looking me over and I forced myself not to acknowledge his perusal.

"Here ya go, gorgeous," the bartender said placing my drink in front of me. I took the little colored umbrella off the top and wrapped my lips around the straw, in what I hoped was a seductive way while I glanced at the man next to me from beneath lowered lashes. When I knew I had his attention I let a little moan slip from between my lips before releasing the straw.

I'm not sure how much time passed while he hung on every word I spoke, and I feigned interest in his overly developed sense of importance; but I do know that he had far too many hands to be human. I was trying hard to keep him from exploring the scrap of material that earlier had been Ranger's downfall. I needed to get this show on the road before I lost all sense and shoved my FMP up his ass. The man was a freakin' octopus. Ugh. So much for my afterglow.

"You know, Marcus, it's getting pretty hot in here," I said once again trying to avoid his wandering hands. And I'd really like to have Ranger wipe you off the face of the earth...right before he wipes you from my mind with his talented tongue.

"Then let's get out of here so we can get you out of that dress and...cooled off." Was this man serious? What the Hell kind of line was that? Man, Ranger was so going to owe me for this. Big time.

"Sounds good to me, Marcus. I can't wait... to get out of this dress and wrapped up in some hot, sweaty, sex." Take that, Ranger. I knew that what I just said would affect Ranger, and I could feel my body readying for his punishment. I needed to focus on what I was doing, on what needed to be done.

Standing up I readjusted my dress so that I didn't flash anyone, grabbed my bag, and herded Giovanelli outside. I knew without having to look that Tank and Lester had fallen in behind us and that I was perfectly safe. We had barely made it outside when Giovanelli was in handcuffs and I was wrapped in the strong embrace of my very own Man of Mystery. God, it was nice to be home. Shit! Home? What the hell? Forget it, Steph. Not home. Not home. Maybe if I kept repeating that to myself I'd actually start believing it.

"Proud of you, Babe," Ranger said, pulling me from my mental mantra. I felt the thrill that ran through me at his words.

"Thanks, Ranger. That guy was disgusting. I didn't think I could take it there for awhile. He must have had a dozen hands." I shivered at the memory of his wandering hands, his words, and just being in his presence. It wasn't even that he was any nastier than any of the other guys I've gone in after, but for some reason everything felt different tonight. It felt...wrong. Like I was cheating on Ranger, which of course, made absolutely NO sense whatsoever. Worry about it tomorrow. Enjoy it tonight. Tomorrow is early enough to let sanity return. I told myself.

"Cold, Babe?"

"Ha, just deep inside where the phantoms of all the crazies lurk," I told him. I immediately regretted my words when I felt him tense and his blank mask dropped into place. I really hated when he did that, and he'd been doing so good letting me see his emotions recently. I wasn't about to let him go back to his old ways now. No way in Hell. "None of that, Ranger. I'm fine. Don't shut me out."

"I'm sorry, Babe."

Holy Shit! Ranger just apologized for something. Not that I thought he was incapable of making an apology, he just never seemed to be in the position to need to make one. I was usually the one who inserted my foot in my mouth, or whatnot, and then had to apologize. Every day I see another part of him that I didn't see before, and every day I fall just that much farther into the bottomless pit of love that I won't ever be able to climb out of. It's going to be lonely down there.

He gently kissed me and said, "I've got to get going. The guys are waiting. We'll be back in a while. Have fun with the girls, and I'll be claiming my dance."

A thrill went through me at the thought of feeling Ranger's body pressed tightly against mine as we moved around the dance floor. "Looking forward to it, Batman," I said. I gave a little finger wave to the guys before walking back into the dark recesses of Diablo. It was time to meet the girls and get this party started.

Before the door had even shut behind me I was surrounded by the boisterous voices of Connie and Lula, and I felt the smile bloom across my face. In the last few years Connie and Lula had become closer to me than any other females. Without realizing it they had slid into the space that Mary Lou had resided throughout my life. When I first lost my job at E.E. Martin, if someone had told me that I'd be chasing criminals for a living, that my best friends would be a former 'ho, an office manager with family connections, and a badass bounty hunter that belonged on Forbes' 100 hottest businessmen, I would have known I was dreaming. Now, all I would say is "Bring on the tequila!"

"Sounds like a plan white girl. I'll order us a pitcher of Margaritas. We've already claimed a booth near the dance floor. Your sister is there...holding it for us." Lula and Connie both rolled their eyes at that. I had a feeling this was not going to be our usual girls' night, and I felt some of my earlier happiness deflate.

"You won't be able to miss her. She...stands out, to say the least." Connie added.

"Oh, boy," I said. Yeah, tonight wasn't going to be normal at all. I could only hope it wouldn't be that bad and that maybe Val was there to loosen up and have a good time. Yeah, right.

Connie and I headed to the booth while Lula ordered the first pitcher of margaritas. I realized immediately what Connie meant by standing out. Val didn't stand out like Lula normally did; in super tight spandex that reflected light—no, she stood out in the awkward way that people who had never been to a club did. She looked like she was dressed to go to a private school PTA or Booster Club meeting. She had on a flowery skirt that came down to her knees, topped with a white collared shirt covered with a cardigan that matched the flowers in the skirt. She completed the outfit with a pair of matching slip on loafers. Ugh! What the Hell is she wearing?

I took a moment to reflect on what I was wearing and knew that this night was going to go down in flames. There was no way that Val was going to be able to let loose and have a good time. From the look on her face as we came up I knew it was only a matter of time before she would say something about what I was wearing. I doubted she'd stop there though. After all, I was the Bombshell Bounty Hunter and to hear my mother and sister tell it, I blew up cars and found dead bodies on purpose, to embarrass them. Yeah, 'cause my life revolves around them. Obviously.

When that thought crossed my mind it was followed immediately by another one. It did. For so long I'd spent every spare minute of my life worrying about what my mother was going to think, what she was going to say, and how she was going to treat me. I am an adult who was constantly worried about getting in trouble with my mother. What kind of crap was that? I felt the new Stephanie stand up straighter and take notice. No way. Not anymore. No longer would I sit back and allow their concerns for 'Burg propriety rule my life. I was too young to get an ulcer, and too old to be concerned with what my mother thought.

With a lighter heart than I'd had in years I followed Connie into the booth and smiled at Val. "Hey, Val. This is a surprise," I said.

"Well, you haven't been around and you don't answer your phone so how else was I supposed to get in touch with you?"

I decided to ignore the obvious barbs in her response and asked, "Where are the girls?" I knew I wasn't the best aunt in the world, but I did love my nieces, and I really hoped their relationship wouldn't turn out like Val's and mine had.

She rolled her eyes, "They're staying with Mom and Dad tonight."

"Is Albert out of town?" I asked. I admit I was a little confused why they'd be at our parents' house instead of at home with their father.

"No, but do you really think I would leave the girls with him? He can barely take care of himself." Her words were laced with such contempt that I was shocked. When had Val become so venomous? She had always been snippy and entitled, but she had never been like this. Since she returned from California she had even seemed almost human. What happened?

Before I had a chance to respond, Lula returned with the pitcher of margaritas and I let the conversation drop. I wasn't interested in continuing the conversation with my sister. The point of girls' night was to drink, laugh, and have a good time, and that was what I planned on doing.

Two pitchers of margaritas later and I shouldn't have been feeling any pain. Unfortunately, I was one veiled comment away from tearing into my sister. It was impossible to maintain any kind of decent buzz when every time she opened her mouth words of condescension came spilling out. If she wasn't knocking my choice of career, she was rolling her eyes about my friends and making her opinion of their class known.

Lula took a last long sip of her margarita before waving at the waitress for another pitcher. "Girl, now that you and Super Cop are through, you gonna get it on with Batman?"

I wasn't ready to share my earlier activities with Lula or Connie. I wouldn't tell them if we were alone, and I sure as Hell wasn't going to talk about it with Saint Valerie in attendance. Ranger's life still didn't hold any place for a relationship with me, and I didn't see that changing anytime in the near future. I had no desire to share my weakness for the Man in Black with them.

"Batman?" Val snorted. "That's what you call that thug? He's not Batman, just a common criminal who wants to get into Steph's pants."

Lula and Connie's eyes widened in surprise. People may not like Ranger, but no one would ever badmouth him in public. The fact that it was my sister, appeared to shock them even more. They looked around the club, like they were looking for the man in question to suddenly appear and avenge himself, before their eyes settled back on Val.

"I would be singing high praises if he wanted to get in my pants," Connie said and Lula agreed.

"Damn skippy. That is one sexy man, and I would be willing to do anything he wanted if it were my pants he wanted in."

Val ignored them and looked directly at me and said, "You know the only reason he wants in your pants is because you've ruined your reputation. You need to do something, Stephanie, or you're never going to get married and have a good life."

That little sentence was the final straw. I'm not sure why, since it wasn't something I hadn't heard before, but I felt something in me snap and the realign. Strong Steph stood up and said, "Get. Up. Now." I could feel my eyes heating up and I held my gaze on Val. "It would appear that we need to have a little conversation. In private. Let's go," I said sliding out of the booth, grabbing her arm and dragging her to a semi-quiet corner or the club.

"Let me go!" Val whined. "You're hurting me."

I just shook my head in wonder. "How did we come from the same family?"

"You've never belonged. I think you were switched at birth." Val said vindictively, and I knew right then that she really believed it. She really wasn't my sister, and any relationship we could have had would never happen now.

"That would explain so much," I said without blinking. "You know what though, it doesn't bother me. It makes me happy to think that I'm not actually related to someone as stuck up and closed minded as you are, Val."

I saw her eyes widen in surprise right before she said, "You really think he hangs around you because he cares about you?" I was thrown for a moment by the change in subject and didn't respond. "He only keeps you around because you're entertaining, you're easy, and you are gullible. You'll believe whatever anyone tells you."

I felt anger course through me. Here was my sister, someone who was supposed to love me, know me, and want what was best for me; yet she was trying to convince me that I was worthless. Who did she think she was? "You don't know what you're talking about."

"You know what, Steph; I can't believe you won't grow up," she said. "You keep living in your own little world, oblivious to the fact that you're a complete and total screw up. You've turned into nothing but a two bit whore, leading Joe on while sleeping with that thug you're always running around with."

I felt every last bit of sisterly affection disappear and I said, "First off, Valerie, my personal life and what I do with it is none of your business. You don't know me, and even if you did, I couldn't care less what you think. You've been playing Saint Valerie too long and now even you're believing it."

"I don't know what you mean."

Riiight. Of course she didn't. I'm not the only who was good at living in the land of Denial. It was time to rip dear ole' Val out of Denial. Her visa had just been revoked."Oh, I think you do. How did it feel to know that all your acting didn't save your marriage? That being so perfect didn't keep you from experiencing pain, like us non-perfect people?" I'm sure I should have felt bad for rubbing her divorce in her face, but I really no longer cared. She'd been playing the high and mighty for far too long. It was time that the world came and bit her on the ass, and I was just the person to deliver that particular message.

"You have no right to judge me," she said in outrage.

"Funny thing about judging someone, Val...You actually have to give a rat's ass about them. You don't fall into that category." I was more than ready for this conversation to be over, but I knew there was a reason for her visit and I wanted to know what it was. I refused to hide in the land of Denial tonight, so I continued, "Now, let's quit with the petty bullshit and address why you're really here, then you can take your perfect little ass back home and let me finish my night with people who I respect, and who respect me in return."

The laugh that came from Val was angry and bitter, cynical even. "Respect you? They don't respect you; they keep you around for entertainment purposes. You're their key to the good gossip. You're a joke, and you're doing nothing except embarrassing your family and ruining Joe's good name. I don't even understand why he put up with you, and why he continues to be interested in you."

I was rapidly losing my patience. "For the last time, Val, Why. Are. You. Here." I bit each word out trying to keep my temper in check. It wouldn't do to punch out my sister. Knowing my luck she, or my mother, would press charges and I really had no intention of spending the night behind bars. She wasn't worth it.

I had a feeling I knew the answer to my question, but I was really hoping I was wrong. All hope of that went out the window when Val said, "Mom sent me."

Sonofabitch. "What do you mean, Mom sent you?" I asked her. My voice barely above a whisper. I was hoping for a really good explanation, but I knew whatever the reason it would be selfish and have nothing to do with my happiness.

"Mom decided that I was the last hope for getting you to see reason. Since I'm your sister she figured you'd listen to me. She wants you at the house on Sunday, ready to plan your wedding to Joe. That gives you two days to get rid of that thug and his group of criminals who are always around you."

"She also has applications for you to fill out--"

I'd heard enough, and I was tired. So incredibly tired. "Excuse me? Plan my wedding....to JOE? As in Joe Morelli? The same Joe who can't accept me for who I am, wanted me to be a carbon copy of not only our mother, but his mother as well? The same Joe who took my virginity on the floor of the Tasty Pastry when I was sixteen and then proceeded to not only embarrass me, but embarrass our family as well when he wrote about it on various walls around town? That Joe Morelli?" Was she fucking insane? Did either of them understand what they were doing?

"Well, of course that Joe Morelli. It isn't like there is more than one." Val's voice had taken on the tone that someone would use for a small child. I kept expecting her to add in a 'sweetie' at the end.

"Thank Hell for that,"I mumbled. I had no desire to ever again date, let alone marry Joe Morelli. We didn't make it dating; we sure as hell wouldn't make it married. Forget the fact that I wasn't in love with him, I seriously doubted he could ever be a one woman man. "You know what, Val? I would rather have my vagina shrivel up and die before I'd ever marry Joe."

I'm sure it was childish to feel the thrill of satisfaction that went through me when Val gasped in outrage and said, "You are so crass, Stephanie. Must come from hanging around criminals all the time. No one in the 'Burg would ever speak like that."

Just like that, my temper boiled over. "That. Is. It." I felt my body tense with the anger that was no longer going to be contained. She could say whatever the Hell she wanted to about me, but I was damned if I'd let her say anything about Ranger or his men. They didn't deserve it. "Ranger and his men are not thugs or criminals. They have more honor and higher morals than anyone I've ever met. Especially in the 'Burg. They don't sit around all day wondering what everyone else is doing, or worrying about what everyone else thinks about them. Those men do the jobs that no one else is willing to do, the jobs that need to be done so that innocent people are safe. Innocent people like your daughters." Daughters I worried were in for a tough life. Especially Mary Alice. She was too much like me to be given any chance at all to grow and thrive without being held down by the expectations of Val, my mother, and the whole damn 'Burg. Worry about it later.

"They have protected me, and cared about me more than anyone else ever has. Those men that you are calling thugs and criminals are good and honorable men who have to do a job that is dark and dangerous. They do it so that the darkness doesn't touch anyone else. Each of those men have more honor in one finger than Joe Morelli could have in his entire body. I am proud to call them my friends, regardless of what you or anyone else thinks."

"Friends? Really, Stephanie, are you that naïve? They aren't your friends; they're just there waiting for their chance to get in your pants. Especially the thug. The second that they get you on your back they'll drop you like yesterday's trash. Though, I guess you're used to that since you spend so much of your time rolling around in it anyway. "

Naïve? Yeah, maybe I have been naïve, but for once I wasn't concerned or worried about how the Merry Men and Ranger felt about me. I knew. Regardless of what Val or anyone else thought, those men were my friends, and so were Connie and Lula. I honestly didn't think about what I was saying for the remainder of the conversation. I just let it all out, didn't hold anything back, didn't sugar coat anything. I was one hundred percent honest.

I did a little mental happy dance when I told her about having sex with Ranger before heading to the club, the look of shock on her face was simply priceless. I no longer cared. She tried to cut me off just as I felt Ranger's presence in the building. I rubbed my neck where it was tingling and was thankful that he couldn't hear this conversation because I was about to say a few things that I wasn't ready, might never be ready, for Ranger to hear.

I poured my heart out to my sister who was no longer my sister. Not because I wanted to share my heart with someone who would be happy for me, but because she needed to know that regardless of what she, my mother, or anyone else thought I knew who I was and where I belonged. After tonight I was no longer Helen Plum's daughter. She would no longer need to worry about what I was doing, or how I was embarrassing her. Tonight I was cutting the strings of familial obligation and I was finally going to be free. I wondered if Ella would adopt me.

It wasn't until I heard the clapping and Lester ran up to wrap me in his arms that I realized something was very, very, wrong. When Lester told me my wire was still on my eyes flew to Ranger's face and I couldn't read his face. Not because he was wearing a mask, but because there were too many emotions flying across it and I couldn't tell what they were. I knew that they had heard everything and I knew that whatever those emotions were they weren't going to be good. Not only had I just told him and all his men how I felt about him, but I opened up about his personal life; and Ranger was nothing if not private. I'd invaded his privacy and just ruined the only relationship that truly meant the world to me. I did the only thing I could do. I apologized and then ran.

Connie and Lula were by the backdoor near the dance floor and I grabbed them on my way out the door. We needed to get away as fast as we could. I could tell they were confused and the tears that were clinging to my lashes, ready to fall worried them, but they didn't ask any questions and just followed me out into the darkness of night. We climbed into Lula's car and I promptly removed the wire and tossed it outside. Digging through my purse I pulled out the tracker pen and my cell phone. The pen joined the wire outside, and I turned off the phone and removed the battery. I wasn't willing to be tracked tonight.

"Where to, white girl?" Lula asked from beside me.

"Anywhere. Just drive."