So in case you haven't heard yet, my uber-fabulous twin-with-whom-I-share-a-brain (Brits23, author of Laid Bare) and I are collaborating on a new story called Dirty Little Secrets. Actually, collaborating may be too weak a word…we're going to try and melt your computer with some sexy-hot Miami nights! If you haven't read it yet, you can click on my profile or Brits' to find it!

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

All original characters, plots, and the storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Lazykate. This story may not be reproduced or reposted without permission from the author.

Chapter Fourteen

Edward drove me to school the next morning, unhappy to be leaving me there, but knowing that it would be difficult to explain away his presence if Jacob or any of the Quileutes just so happened to stop by the school. Jacob didn't know my class schedule, but Edward was taking no chances.

He made me promise at least three times that yes, I would stay around others at all times; yes, I would keep my cell phone turned on; and yes, under no circumstances would I walk home alone. I was beginning to feel like a child, but one look at his concerned face was enough to convince me that I could live with his rules for the next six weeks.

I thought it would be difficult to concentrate on my classes, but to my surprise, I found myself absorbed in the lectures and note-taking. I spent the three-hour break between my two classes at the library, writing feverishly in my journal. There was so much I didn't want to forget.

At first I'd assumed my recollections would be all about Edward and our new life together, but instead I found myself writing about my childhood, some of the small funny things I could remember. I made a note in the margin of one story to remember that I had old home movies in a box of Charlie's things, still packed in the tiny storage unit I kept in Forks. Renee, to her credit, had been thoughtful enough to send copies to Charlie, and he'd kept every one. Now they would help me to remember.

I wrote about Phoenix, picking out only the happy things, the memories that I wanted to take with me into immortality. I wrote about Phil and Renee, and just as I was about to start the chapter that brought me to Forks, I glanced at my watch and realized I'd need to run to make it to my second class on time.

I walked outside after that class ended, automatically looking for Edward. Instead my attention was caught by a frantically-waving Alice, bouncing up and down next to a bright blue Audi TT. I laughed and hurried over to her, immediately giving her a giant hug.

"Alice, thank you so much for the necklace. That was so incredibly sweet of you."

She beamed at me. "I knew you wouldn't want to take them off, and I don't blame you a bit."

"Where's Edward?"

"He took the Vanquish back to Forks, and Carlisle convinced him it would be a good idea to take a very roundabout way back here, to throw off any dogs that might be sniffing his path. So I told him I'd come pick you up and help you start packing. Get in!"

I climbed into the Audi and Alice peeled out of the parking lot. "Yeah, so I guess you guys are leaving next week?"

Her happiness dimmed a little. "I wish we didn't have to leave so soon. I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too."

"Carlisle thinks it's for the best, and I guess he's right… I have a very clear picture of the future, and it's all according to plan. As long as there are no last-minute doggie-interferences or unforeseen complications, you'll be in Alaska with Edward right after your last final!"

I exhaled slowly. "That's a relief. Can you tell me how I'm going to do on my finals?"

"I could, but remember you asked me not to tell you anything unless it was of dire importance."

"You've ignored that several times already," I pointed out.

"Everything I shared with you was something I deemed of dire importance," she replied sweetly, pulling into a parking spot at the apartment complex. "Now come on, I already brought some boxes by earlier. I thought it would be easier on you if we packed up the stuff you can live without until December, and then we can take it with us when we leave next week. That way you won't have to worry about packing and shipping on top of everything else. We're really good at packing by now, in case you couldn't guess."

I followed her as she bounded up the stairs, and then gave her a questioning look as she produced a key and unlocked my apartment door. "Oh… Edward gave me his key. Don't worry, he's not passing around unauthorized copies."

"That's good to know… oh my God!" I stood in the doorway and stared at the giant stack of flattened boxes and other packing materials that lay in the middle of the living room. "Alice… I don't have enough stuff to go in all those boxes!"

"Better to be safe than sorry," she chirped, taking off her jacket and tossing it over the back of a kitchen chair.

"How are you planning on getting those boxes back to your place in your car?"

"I'm not. Emmett will be here in a couple of hours with a truck to pick up all the boxes, then if it's okay with you, he can stop by your storage unit in Forks and get all that stuff too. Then we'll ship it along with ours next week, and it'll all be waiting for you when you get to Alaska!"

I squinted at her. "Alice, were you this organized in your other life? Because you scare me sometimes with your efficiency."

"Like I said, we're old pros at the moving game by now. Where do you want to start?"

I sighed and looked around. "Honestly, I don't have that much stuff here. My clothes are staying…"

"Yes, and just donate those before you leave. You'll need a whole new wardrobe after your change, remember?"

"Okay, so I guess just some books and other personal stuff… it's mostly in the bedroom."

She picked up a few boxes and a roll of packing tape. "Lead the way!"

We attacked the closet; Alice sorted out all of the summer clothes and packed them away for donation, while I rummaged through the assorted junk and clutter I'd ended up stuffing into the back of the closet when I moved in. Photo albums, knickknacks, a half-hearted attempt at knitting a scarf, and then finally a stuffed kangaroo. I laughed and set it on the floor, then patted its head.

Alice glanced over at me. "Why in the world do you have a stuffed kangaroo? And what is in its pouch?"

I grinned. "Come look."

She hopped up and was beside me an instant, rooting around in the poor thing's pouch. Her expression when she pulled out the empty little bottle of alcohol was priceless. "What in the…?"

"It's a booze-a-roo."

"Okay Bella, you've got me here. What is a booze-a-roo?"

"My Aunt Tammy… okay, she's not really my aunt, but she's one of Renee's best friends, and so I was really close with her growing up… went on a trip to Australia when I was sixteen. She asked me what I wanted her to bring me back as a souvenir, and I jokingly told her all I wanted was a kangaroo. She almost forgot, but found a stuffed one in the gift shop in the airport before she left, and she carried it on the plane." I started giggling at the memory of Aunt Tammy explaining this story in greatly exaggerated detail.

"Anyway, on the plane ride back, she had a couple of drinks to relax her, and she started thinking that it was a real shame that my kangaroo didn't have anything in its pouch. So she started stuffing the empties, you know, those are the little bottles they give you on airplanes, into its pouch. When we picked her up from the airport she was about three sheets to the wind and made up this crazy story about the kangaroo drinking all her liquor on the trip. She said if I wasn't underage she'd have filled them back up again before giving it to me. That's the story of the booze-a-roo."

Alice stared at me as if I were crazy for a moment, and then laughed, shaking her head. "It's when I hear stories like those that I wish I could remember being human."

"Yeah, I'll have to remember to write that one down, for sure," I murmured, giving the 'roo one last pat on the head before Alice carefully tucked him into a box.

"Is that what you're doing? Writing down your human memories?"

"Yes, I want to make sure I can remember as much as possible."

"Good idea. I know a lot of us would like to have had the same opportunity." She looked wistful for a moment.

"That's what Edward said. You don't remember anything about being human?"

She sighed a little. "No, not a thing. My very first memory is waking up as a vampire. I probably would have gone insane if it hadn't been for the visions… they were very clear from the start, and they helped to guide me. They helped me find Jasper, and then they brought us to the Cullens."

She didn't elaborate and we packed in silence for a short time. "Alice… how long do we have before Edward gets back?"

"Ummm… just about two hours. Why?"

I took a deep breath. "I want you to help me practice with shielding my mind. Edward hates it when I block him out."

"Of course he does," she grumbled. "For as much as he's complained over the years about being bombarded with our thoughts, he still likes to be able to. Especially with you. I mean, what would he have done if he couldn't sense or read you at all? He would have learned to deal with it! Ugh!"

"So is that a yes?"

"Absolutely! Why do you want to practice?"

"Well, I've started thinking of it as sort of a physical shield. I'd like to feel more comfortable using it, so I can do it without concentrating as hard. And maybe raise and lower it more quickly?"

Alice thought for a moment and then grabbed three books from my nightstand. "Fine literature you have here, Bella."

"Oh shut up."

She grinned at me and then set them at the end of the bed. "Okay, look at these and make a decision about which one you're going to throw out first."

"I'm not throwing out my trashy romance novels!"

"Bella, trust me on this one, after your change you won't have time for trashy romance novels."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "No."

She heaved an exaggerated sigh. "Fine, make a decision about which one you're going to read next. Be certain in your choice."

I stared at my three options and then decided to read Raging Heartbeat, it was the newest one, and I hadn't started it yet. I hadn't done much romance novel reading since Edward had moved in.

Alice's eyes unfocused for a brief moment, then she looked back at me. "Okay, I've got it, Raging Heartbeat. Now, concentrate on raising your shield. Take your time if you need to, and after it's in place, change your mind and let me know when you've picked another book."

I closed my eyes, letting the image of the glass wall come into my mind. I'd practiced by myself a couple of times at school today, but of course I'd had no way of knowing if it was working or not. When the visual was fixed firmly in my mind, I looked over at the three books and changed my mind, deciding that I'd pick up Forbidden Passions instead. "Okay, Alice."

She concentrated hard for a second, and then grinned. "You're doing it right, I still see Raging Heartbeat. Do you have to consciously think about keeping the shield up?"

"No… not exactly. It's hard to describe. It's almost like I can feel it once it's there; it's not uncomfortable, but I'm aware of it. I do consciously have to think of lowering it, though."

"Okay… now shut your eyes and lower it whenever you're ready. When you're done, open your eyes."

I waited a few more moments before thinking about the glass wall dissolving in front of me; it was easier and faster each time I tried. I opened my eyes at the same time Alice laughed. "Forbidden Passions?" Where do they come up with these names?"

"What did it look like to you, when I lowered my shield and you could see that I'd changed my mind?"

"Oh, it was no different than if you'd made a last-minute decision to change something. I've never met another vampire with a shield like yours though, so it's fascinating to see that in action."

We continued little exercises like the one with the books as we continued to pack. Each and every time I manipulated my shield, I found it easier to do. For her part, Alice seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself, claiming it was refreshing to be surprised for once.

After a while, I asked her the question that had been at the back of my mind all afternoon. "Alice… if I can completely block Edward out when my shield is up, then why am I still partially blocking him when it's not? Before I found out that I even had this ability, he still couldn't read my mind the same way he can with everyone else."

Her brow puckered and she looked thoughtful. "Hmm, that's a good question… I honestly don't know. Maybe part of your shield is unconscious and out of your ability to control right now? Remember, Bella, human beings use only a very small portion of their brains. You're like an iceberg, we've only seen a tiny bit of your power so far. It'll be interesting to see how much more you can do after your change."

"You can't see that yet?"

"No, but then again, things have been changing left and right, and it affects my vision every time there's a change in plans." Her perfect forehead wrinkled again. "You especially. I see your future in the strangest ways now…" Her voice trailed off, then she shook her head briskly. "But I do see you. Being psychic isn't an exact science."

I laughed. "I'm starting to understand that none of this is."

Alice ripped off another piece of tape and sealed up the box she'd just filled. "Okay, anything else?"

"I really don't think so… if Emmett is going to take care of the things in the storage unit, I'll give him the code and the key for it. I didn't really bring much with me when I moved here."

Alice picked up her box as easily as if it were empty. "Emmett is almost here, we'll let him carry everything out. And Edward will be here shortly after him."

I followed her into the living room. "Hey… Alice?"

She thumped the box down onto the floor and turned to me. "Yes?"

"I'll see you again before you leave, right?"

"Yes, of course you will. You think I'd leave without saying goodbye?"

"I know I'm getting all mushy here, but I'm really going to miss you, even if it's just a month. I've… never really had any close girlfriends before."

Her eyes softened. "You're my sister now, don't forget that." In the blink of an eye she'd swept me into a tight hug. "Keep your chin up, Bella. I know all of this is overwhelming and even a little scary, but it's all going to be fine. I promise. Just do what Carlisle tells you to do, even if Edward grumbles about it."

I laughed and blinked back tears. "Okay, I can do that."

"Good. And now…" She looked towards the front door just as there was a massive thumping against it. I actually saw the wood shiver in its frame.

"Cullen Boys Moving Service!" Emmett bellowed from the other side.

I grinned as I opened the door for him. "Just take the door off the hinges, why don't you?"

"Nah, we have a firm rule in our family: you break it, you fix it. Rose and I keep busy breaking and fixing enough stuff on our own." He ruffled my hair with one giant hand.

"Yeah, so I've heard."

"You gonna give me a hand with these boxes, short stuff?"

"Of course not," Alice replied primly. "It would look rather odd if anyone saw me, don't you think?"

"Hmm, yeah, I didn't think of that. Well, I didn't see or smell any dogs lurking around, so let me get going." Emmett stacked two boxes and lifted them together easily. "Hey Bella, before I forget, Rosie wanted me to tell you that she'll have your truck finished tomorrow, if you want to come pick it up this weekend."

I felt a glow of genuine happiness. "Really? That's great to hear, tell her thanks!"

"I will," he replied cheerfully. "Be right back for the rest."

I opened the refrigerator and surveyed the stacks of groceries Edward and I had purchased the day before, trying to decide what I should fix for dinner. "You're more than welcome to stay and watch me eat, Alice."

"I would, but I'm going to head back after Edward gets here. I've got a lot of packing to do too."

"All right, I guess I'll see you Friday morning, then?"

"Absolutely. And, Bella…?"

I peeked at her over the refrigerator door. "Yes?"

"I know he doesn't like it, but you should ask Edward to help you practice with your shield. The more you understand it now, the easier it will be for you to control it later. Besides, it certainly won't do Edward any harm to not be able to read someone's mind for once. I know we all wish we had the power to block him out sometimes." She rolled her eyes. "Try keeping it up for extended periods of time and with distractions. Just like a muscle, the more you work with it, the stronger it'll be."

"You're right about him not liking it, but I'll talk to him about it."

"Let me know if you need any help convincing him."

The door opened and Emmett came back in. I was amazed that such an enormous vampire could move so silently; I hadn't even heard him coming. "Two more trips and that'll do it. Man, pretending to be human is a pain in the ass, I could have made it all in one trip. You got the key to your storage unit, Bella?"

"Yeah, I'll get it for you."

He stacked two more boxes. "Geez woman, what have you got in here, bricks?" He grumbled good-naturedly as he ambled back down the hall. A moment later we heard him yell. "Hey! Edward! Come help me out here!"

I pulled the key to the storage unit off my keychain and set it on the table, shaking my head. "Does he have any volume control? Or is he just loud and louder?"

Alice laughed. "Oh Bella, you have no idea. Just wait until you're living with us."

Edward walked in the open door just then. "Please don't scare my wife away, Alice." He came directly to me, took my face in his hands, and planted a gentle kiss on my lips. "Hello love."

"Hi," I whispered, closing my eyes and leaning into his embrace. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry I had to spend all day driving around the entire Olympic Peninsula. Carlisle thought it would be a good idea in case any wolves were following me." He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair, and then kissed my neck.

"Okay, you two lovebirds," Alice interrupted, "I'm on my way out! Bella, I'll see you Friday!"

"Bye, Alice," we said together, as I relaxed further into Edward's arms.

"I love spending time with her," I said quietly, "But part of me is missing when I'm not with you."

"I know exactly what you mean," he breathed into my ear, his arms tightening. "I love coming home to you."

"Mmm, this has been the best part of my day," I agreed, tilting my head back for another kiss.

"Hey you two, break it up!" Emmett yelled from the doorway.

"Take the boxes, take the key and get out," Edward growled at him.

"Aw man, I'm hurt! I thought you guys would at least invite me to stay for dinner, maybe we could kick back and watch some football? I don't get to spend near enough time with my new little sis here…"

"The key is on the table, and the gate code is on the keychain." I glared at him over Edward's shoulder.

"Jeez, I hope you guys aren't this anti-social when we get to Alaska. It gets pretty boring up there and…"

"Get out!" Edward and I both yelled.

Emmett stuck his lip out in an exaggerated pout. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted. I'll see you two later!" He grabbed the last two boxes and left, hollering "Have fun!" just before the door shut.

Edward heaved out a sigh and I giggled as I reached up and wrapped my arms his neck. "Now, where were we?"

***

Wednesday and Thursday went much the same as Tuesday. Edward dropped me off and picked me up from school both days, and I attended my classes as though nothing were out of the ordinary. I continued to write frantically in my journal, not wanting to forget a single moment that needed to be committed to paper in case my memory faltered later. I felt that there was so much I'd missed, not realizing Edward's love for me for so long, and I briefly considered asking him to fill in some of the blanks for me. In the end though, I decided that if the journal was supposed to represent my memories, that I could only record what I'd observed on my own.

I found that the more I wrote, the more I remembered. Little fleeting things. The few biology labs Edward and I had worked on together, when he'd sit as far from me as possible and only spoke when absolutely necessary. I hadn't realized at the time that he was holding his breath, trying to keep my scent from shredding his resolve. How he always seemed to be a few steps behind me in the hallway during our senior year, following me to all of the classes we shared. The Cullens standing together at Charlie's funeral, slightly apart from the other mourners. Edward's first words to me when I came back to school: "Bella, I'm sorry about your father." The apple he put on my lunch tray every day, mysteriously understanding that the hot greasy smells of the cafeteria food had become nauseating to me. I found all the class notes he'd given me, pages from History and Calculus in his copperplate script. I folded them, carefully tucking them into the back of the journal.

"Will you do something for me?" I asked him Thursday night. I was packing for the weekend, while Edward was lying on the bed watching my every movement.

"I'll do anything you want, love."

"Will you… I want you to tell me about the past two years from your perspective, but not until I'm changing. I want you to tell me everything you can remember, every single detail. I'm recording my memories now, but then I want to hear yours too."

He didn't speak for a long moment. "You'll be asleep, love. You won't hear me."

I looked over at him. "I'll hear your voice. Even if I'm in a coma, I'll hear your voice, and I'll know you're there."

"All right then," he agreed quietly. "I'll talk non-stop the entire three days if you want me to."

"Yes, I do." I zipped my bag shut and dropped it on the floor, then crawled over the bed into his waiting arms."I want your voice to be the last thing I hear when I go to sleep, and the first thing I hear when I wake up again."

"Anything you want, I will do." He kissed the top of my head and I sighed contentedly.

"What time are we leaving tomorrow?"

"Alice is coming to pick you up; I'll follow about a half hour behind you. Evidently the wolves are still watching the roads."

I groaned. To my knowledge there hadn't been any other interaction with the Quileutes, and I couldn't help but resent their intrusion into our lives. I understood that they felt they had my best interests at heart, but the Cullens posed absolutely no threat to me. I couldn't understand why the Quileutes refused to believe that.

"It's not that they don't believe it, love." Edward must have picked that thought out of my mind. "They do grudgingly recognize that we've maintained our half of the treaty for decades now. It wasn't until their adopted daughter began keeping company with us that they started worrying."

"They didn't worry about you killing any other people in Forks?"

"I'm sure they've been keeping a wary eye on us since we moved back, yes. We'd avoided all interaction with them until now, so I'm not really sure about the extent of their surveillance."

We were quiet for a little while after that as he slowly ran his hand through my hair, my head resting on his stone chest.

"Do you want to practice with your shield tonight?" he finally asked. I heard the reluctance in his words; Edward hated it when I blocked him out. It was only after I recounted Alice's advice to him that he'd agreed to help me, but I knew he disliked it intensely. The last time we'd practiced was yesterday evening, when I suggested that I try raising it with no warning. The first time I tried, Edward almost went into a panic and made me promise I wouldn't do it again. He hadn't elaborated on why it had affected him so strongly that time, and I hadn't pushed.

"No," I said after a moment. "I'll work with Alice and Jasper this weekend. You can hunt while I practice."

"All right." I heard the relief in his voice. "Is there anything else you'd like to have the family take to Alaska with them? My understanding is they'll be leaving on Tuesday."

"Just us," I said sadly.

He hugged me tightly. "Only a few more weeks, love. Carlisle will be here until just after Thanksgiving, we can go visit him next weekend if you like. I'm sure he'll appreciate the company."

"Yes, that would be nice."

"Then it's just you and I for a few more weeks."

"You don't hear me complaining, do you?"

He chuckled and dropped a kiss on the top of my head.

***

The next morning, Alice knocked at the door promptly at eight o'clock and we left immediately, Edward promising to follow exactly thirty minutes later.

"Carlisle wanted me to relay your cover story," Alice started as we pulled away from the apartment complex. "If you happen to run into Jake or any other nosy types this weekend, you can tell them that the family is moving away and you're saying goodbye. You can drive your truck home Sunday, and they'll be none the wiser."

"Okay," I murmured, looking out the window. "I'm surprised neither Jake nor Billy thought to ask how you and I became such good friends."

She shrugged. "We went to school together and ran into each other again in Port Angeles. I'm a pretty likable person, we hit it off. End of story!"

"Gotcha."

"Did you get to practice your shielding with Edward?"

"Not really, he freaked out the one time I did it without warning him first."

"I thought so," she sighed. "Okay, listen. As soon as we get out of town I want you to block me out. We'll be far enough away that Edward won't know."

"I told him I was going to practice with you this weekend."

"Oh good. Now, I want you to block me out for as long as you can, all the way to Forks if possible. And somewhere along the way I want you to make a decision that you know I'll see when you lower your shield. Let's see how long you can hang onto it: either until you can't keep it up any longer or Edward gets there, whichever comes first. I also want to see if it stays the same strength or weakens over time. What do you think?"

I laughed. "I think if you weren't psychic, we could put money on whether or not I can hold it for that long."

"Do you think you can?"

"I don't know. I've been focusing more on raising and lowering it than holding it."

We were approaching the Port Angeles city limits. "All right, whenever you're ready! And keep in mind I'm going to keep you talking the whole way there, as a distraction."

I took a deep breath and focused on my shield. That was how I thought of it all the time now: as an impermeable barrier between my mind and the rest of the world. It was getting easier to raise it every time I tried. "Okay, I'm good."

"Now, make a decision that you know I'll see later…"

I thought for a moment, and then grinned wickedly. I had the perfect secret to spring on her, but it would only be funny if I managed to keep the shield up all the way to Forks.

Luckily Alice drove just as fast as Edward, and within a half an hour we were nearing Forks. We'd kept up a constant stream of chatter the entire way; Alice telling me more about Alaska and what I could expect after my change. It was when she started talking about vampire sex again that I smiled a little and lowered my shield.

Her eyes glazed over for just a moment and then she let out an ear-piercing scream.

"No no no! You can't go without me! You promised!

"You're leaving Tuesday, Alice," I chuckled.

"I don't care, we'll go Monday. I'll pick you up from class and we'll go straight there. Or better yet, why don't you let me do it? I told you that it's…"

"Alice, we've had this discussion. You are not giving me a bikini wax."

"A trip to the spa is the ultimate bonding activity," she moaned. "You can't go without me. I can at least get my nails painted…"

"I wasn't going to tell you because I don't want Edward to know." I was almost doubled-over with laughter now. "He'll read that in your hyper vampire brain the moment he pulls up."

"No he won't, I won't let him! Please promise we can go Monday, Bella?" She was pouting at me now, making an unbelievably sad face.

"Okay, fine, Monday. But you're not watching me get waxed."

She laughed. "No problem, I wasn't going to ask. But I will demand details about Edward's reaction."

"You can demand all you like," I replied as we pulled up to the Cullen house. "But that doesn't mean I'm telling. Now this conversation is over. Banish it from your mind."

"My lips are zipped and my mind is sealed!" she sang. We were both laughing as we walked into the house; Esme and Carlisle were waiting there smiling. I had an overwhelming feeling of coming home.

"What is so funny?" Esme asked, just as my cell phone rang and Alice's giggles cut off abruptly. One look at her face and I knew who was calling without even checking the caller ID.

"Hi Jake."

"Bella… just checking to make sure you're okay."

"Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be?"

"I thought you might be hanging out with the bloodsuckers this weekend, and I wanted to check in on you. Remind you that we're here if you need anything."

"Thanks for your concern, but I'm fine," I snapped, my irritation over the whole situation bubbling to the surface. "Oh, and the wrist you almost broke is all better now, thanks for asking."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment, and when he spoke again his tone was different. "I told you I'm sorry that I hurt you. I guess… I just don't realize my own strength when I'm angry."

"Evidently."

"Are you at the bloodsuckers' house right now?"

I hissed out an angry breath. "Jacob, if you call them that one more time I will hang up on you and I won't answer any more of your calls."

"Fine. Are you with the Cullens right now?"

"Yes, I'm at their house. They're leaving next week, and I came to say goodbye."

"They're leaving?" Surprise was evident in his voice.

I looked at Carlisle and he gave me a slight nod. "Yes, the whole family is moving next week except for Carlisle, since he has to finish things up at the hospital. And instead of spending time with my friends whom I will probably never see again, I'm on the phone arguing with you. Are you happy?"

"Hell yeah I'm happy, if they're leaving!" His tone was cheerful now. "So where are they going?"

"Ithaca, New York."

He chortled. "Across the country, that's awesome. Maybe you'll remember your real friends down in La Push now, huh?"

"I'm done talking to you, Jake. You're really pissing me off now."

"Hey Bells, don't be mad. Why don't you come down for Thanksgiving?"

"I'll think about it. Goodbye Jake."

"Bye, Bells!"

I hung up the phone and looked up; Carlisle was watching me with a smile on his face. "Well done, Bella. I think you just single-handedly cemented our alibi."

"He'd better not call back again this weekend," I muttered.

"Edward is going to be here in exactly ten minutes," Alice announced. "Unless you want him to see you all worked up, I suggest you start some deep breathing right now."

"Bella, why don't you take your bag upstairs, and then come back and relax?" Esme suggested. "I'll get you something to drink, and then we can all sit down and catch up. I hate that I won't see you again for a month."

"I know, me too." I took Alice's advice and sucked in several deep breaths, then hoisted my bag over my shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Up in our bedroom, I quickly unpacked and put away my clothes for the weekend, noting that none of Edward's possessions appeared to have been packed away yet for the move. I made a mental note to ask him about it just as I heard the hum of the Volvo pulling around the house. I took a few more deep breaths, willing the last vestiges of my irritation away… I wouldn't let Jake's attitude ruin the last weekend I had with my family.

When I came downstairs Edward was standing with Carlisle, his head cocked. A scowl flickered over his face and I realized Carlisle must have been recounting the phone call to him. When he looked up and saw me he sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "They don't waste any time, do they?"

"It definitely confirms what we thought about them watching us," Carlisle agreed. "They'd barely stepped into the house when Jacob called, and he knew she was here."

Edward scowled again. "This is ridiculous."

I moved over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "It's okay, Edward. I told him about the family moving, he sounded pretty convinced."

"Yes, he did. She even mentioned my staying here until after the holiday." Carlisle motioned for us to follow him into the living room.

"Jacob wants me to come down to La Push for Thanksgiving," I said softly to Edward.

"No," he growled immediately.

"He thinks you're all leaving. I'll need some excuse if I don't go."

Edward gritted his teeth together. "Love, let's talk about this later. I'm too aggravated with the dog's audacity to discuss the idea of you going down there again."

"All right." I tugged on his hand and then stood on tip-toe to kiss his cheek. "I love you. You must have been driving like a mad man to have gotten here so quickly."

He sighed. "I was. I hate being away from you."

"When are you going to pack up your room?"

"I hadn't really thought about it."

"Alice and I are going out Monday after my classes, why don't you come do it then?"

"I'll think about it," he grumbled, sinking into the white sofa and pulling me against his body.

Esme had new sketches and designs to show us for our cottage in Alaska, and as we chatted about that, I felt Edward slowly relax next to me. I nestled my head back under his chin as he wrapped his arms more tightly around me; we stayed that way until Esme announced it was lunch time for the human.

The rest of the weekend passed too quickly. There were no further calls from Jake and I spent as much time as possible with my family. I hung out with Rosalie as she started packing up the garage, thanking her profusely for fixing my truck. The engine had a throaty, reassuring rumble now, and I was thrilled to have it back. Edward was annoyed that Rose had listened to me instead of him and opted not to install airbags or new seatbelts, but I laughed and told him that my truck had character.

I watched football with Emmett and Jasper, surprising them both with my knowledge of the game. I reminded them again that I'd lived with Jake and his friends for several months, and that I was pretty good at playing football too. Emmett immediately challenged me to a game of Cullen family football, but Edward put the kibosh on that.

I talked with Carlisle at length about my shield; he was extremely interested to hear how I'd been working with it. He also agreed with Alice's assessment that I'd only tapped the surface of its potential.

I helped Esme with more packing and enjoyed the calm companionship of the woman who was quickly becoming more of a mother to me than my own had ever been.

Saturday night I had the dubious honor of hearing Emmett and Rosalie moaning and groaning as they destroyed what sounded like every stick of furniture in their room. Edward laughed and hugged me tight as I sat horrified, hands over my ears. He told me it was Emmett's way of getting back at us for not agreeing to play Cullen family football.

Sunday afternoon I hugged Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper goodbye. Alice had already made me promise again that I wouldn't bail out on our spa date, and so she hugged me and said she'd see me then. I left just after one, thrilled to be driving my truck again. Edward waited a half an hour after I left to follow me in the Volvo, but of course he caught up with me before I was halfway to Port Angeles.

Monday I started wondering if Alice really would be upset if I canceled our spa date, but I didn't have my shield up when those thoughts crossed my mind. She was waiting for me literally outside the door of my last class.

"Remember, Bella, you're doing this for Edward!" she sang as she towed me into the elegant spa. The pretty esthetician was named Julie, and she patted my hand kindly when I told her it was my first experience with waxing.

"How much do you want taken off?"

"All of it!" Alice said immediately.

"Oh my God, Alice!" I choked. "Um, no!"

"Why not?"

"Aren't you supposed to be getting your nails painted or something?"

She looked disappointed. "I was going to hold your hand; you can squeeze it as hard as you want."

"Get. Out." I said between gritted teeth.

Julie laughed as Alice flounced from the room. "Your friend is very… opinionated."

"You have no idea," I muttered.

Forty-five minutes later Alice tucked me into the Audi. "It didn't hurt that bad, did it?"

"No, surprisingly not. Although that glass of wine you managed to smuggle in to me helped."

"I thought it might. Just be sure to have it done again before you come up to Alaska, neat and tidy for all of eternity, remember?"

"Yes, Alice."

"And don't forget, I'm not going to peek at Edward's reaction so you have to promise you'll tell me everything."

"Yes, Alice."

"If I think of anything else, I'll call you. I'll be calling you anyway, but you know what I mean."

"Yes, Alice."

She pulled up in front of the apartment complex. "I'm going to miss you, Bella! But you'll be in Alaska before you know it." She reached over and pulled me into a strangling hug across the Audi's center console. "Edward's here, so go give him the surprise of his non-living life!"

"Okay, bye." I gave her one final kiss on the cheek and hurried out of the car before I started bawling. Four weeks, just one month. I could get through that.

Edward was waiting for me with dinner on the table. "I am a lucky, lucky woman," I whispered to him as he rained kisses on my face and lips.

"And I am a lucky, lucky man, to have such a beautiful sexy wife. You're glowing, love. What were you and Alice up to?"

"It's more of a show-you thing than a tell-you thing."

His eyebrows shot up. "Well then, hurry up and eat, please."

I sat and ate dinner as he told me about his day. At Alice's insistence he had gone back to Forks and packed up his room, recognizing that as far as the Quileutes knew, he was leaving tomorrow as well.

"I don't know if Rosalie will be ready to go tomorrow, though."

"Oh?"

"She won't let anyone help her with the garage, and she's very picky and methodical about packing everything up. It's her little world so Carlisle isn't pushing her."

"Mechanics are pretty touchy about their tools and stuff. Jake was the same way."

"I see," was his only response as I finished eating. "So, beautiful wife of mine, where have you been all afternoon?"

I stood up and held out my hand, he took it immediately and I pulled him towards the bedroom, stopping in the middle of the room.

"Now, shut your eyes, and no peeking."

He shut his eyes, a little smile on his face, and I quickly shimmied out of the skirt Alice had thoughtfully brought along to the spa and insisted I put on after my appointment. When I was down to just my La Perla bra and panties, I stepped closer to him and placed his hands on my hips. His smile grew as he felt my skin under his cool fingers.

"Now, I know you like taking off these off yourself, so I saved that for you. But you have to keep your eyes shut."

"Such a tease, Mrs. Cullen," he murmured as he skimmed his hands down my hips and over the front of my thighs, his thumbs running along the newly-bare skin. His smile vanished in an instant as a look of shock and then fascination came over his face, eyes still closed. He slowly pushed his thumbs under the edges of the panties, just under the waistband, and dragged them slowly downward.

"Did you do what I think you did?"

"I don't know what you're thinking, Edward," I said innocently. "You're the mind-reader, not me."

"Indeed…" he agreed, moving his thumbs down further to where I was wet and waiting for him. "I think you did."

"Maybe."

"Does it hurt?"

"No, but the lady at the spa suggested I avoid sex for an evening, just so it doesn't get irritated."

"Hmm…" he mused, slowly moving the tip of his thumb directly over where I wanted it the most. "Well then, what if I kiss it and make it feel better? Is that allowed?"

I was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe as he slowly sank to his knees, eyes still shut, dragging the panties down with him. "Yes, love, I somehow have the feeling that it is most definitely allowed."

***

Tuesday, and then Wednesday passed. We got word Wednesday evening that Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Emmett had arrived safely in Alaska, making the 2600 mile drive in just under thirty hours. Vampires who drove at breakneck speeds and only stopped to refill the gas tank could drive to Alaska in a little over a day, evidently.

Rosalie had finally finished sorting through and packing up the garage to her specifications, she was leaving Thursday morning. Carlisle, not wanting to be separated from Esme any longer than necessary, was planning to leave the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Thursday afternoon I stayed a little later on campus for a study group that I'd signed up for. I'd reminded Edward about it that morning and he'd promised to have dinner waiting for me at five o'clock sharp. I drove myself to and from school now in my much-improved and more-reliable truck, and I hurried as I shivered behind the wheel. I never bothered turning the heat on for the short drive, as the truck never warmed up enough to be worth it.

Tonight though, I was in a hurry as Edward and I had decided to drive to Forks that evening. Despite his reassurances that vampires counted days like seconds, I felt bad about the idea of Carlisle in the empty echoing home by himself, and I'd convinced Edward that we should keep him company. I was interested in talking with him more about my shield as well.

I unlocked my apartment door with a smile on my face that quickly faded. The kitchen light was off and my steps echoed eerily: Edward wasn't there. I couldn't remember the last time I'd come home to an empty apartment, so I entered cautiously and slowly shut the door behind me. I flicked the light switch and then let out a little scream as the sudden glow revealed a very pissed-off-looking Rosalie, sitting on the couch.

"R-Rose? You scared the hell out of me! I thought you were leaving today?"

"I was supposed to," she replied sourly. "Some unforeseen complications came up with your mutt friends."

I sank down into the chair across from her, my heart pounding. "What happened?"

She crossed her arms and scowled. "I don't know all the details, but one of them called Carlisle around noon and requested a meeting. It sounded like they want to change the terms of the treaty."

"Where's Edward?" Panic was squeezing tight around my chest and throat now.

"Carlisle wanted him there for the meeting. Having a mind-reader in the family gives us a distinct edge for things like this."

"And he…asked you to come…"

"Babysit," she answered flatly. "It's nothing against you, Bella, but I could be well into Canada by now."

I exhaled slowly. "I know Edward's a little overprotective these days. If Carlisle and Edward are meeting with the Quileutes, there's really no reason for you to stay, right?"

"I didn't think so either, but Edward had a fit. He wouldn't drive to Forks until after he made me promise to come here. He wants me to drive you back." The tightness around her perfect mouth gave away exactly how irritated she was about this delay in her plans. To be honest, I didn't really blame her. If I'd been separated from Edward for two days I'd be anxious to rejoin him as well.

"Rosalie… why don't you go ahead and leave? I've made the drive a thousand times by myself, I'm more than capable of getting to your place in one piece. The Quileutes aren't any threat to me."

"He'll be mad," she warned.

"He might be mad at me, but he'll get over it. And if he gets mad at you, he'll have a whole month to calm down before you have to see him again."

Rosalie hesitated, but I could see she was considering it, recognizing the logic in my words.

"Honestly, go. I'm sure Emmett is just as antsy as you are."

A smile finally cracked across her face. "Yeah, he is."

"Then get out of here. I just need to grab my bags and then I'll head out. Edward won't know until I get there, and by then I'll be at the house and safe."

She stood in one fluid movement. "Okay…but do me a favor and keep your cell phone on? I don't need him going berserk if you end up getting a flat tire out in the middle of nowhere. Call me if you need to, and I'll turn around and come back."

"I will," I promised. "If you like, I'll send you a text and let you know when I get there, how's that?"

"Yeah, that would be good. I'll see you in a month?"

"Absolutely. Drive safe, okay?"

She snorted. "Of course. You too." With that, she stalked out of the apartment and was gone.

I hurried into my bedroom, thankful that I'd packed the night before. Although Rosalie hadn't seemed to think this new development with the Quileutes was urgent, I couldn't help but worry. Surely, though, the Quileute elders wouldn't have called Carlisle and formally requested a meeting if it was bad news, would they? The Cullens had been concerned about some sneak-attack, I'd gathered, but as far as I knew none of us had given them a reason for one.

Us… the word suddenly jolted me to the core. Of course I was a Cullen, I'd married Edward and been welcomed whole-heartedly into his family. It was the first time I'd unconsciously aligned myself with the Cullens directly against the Quileutes, my other adopted family.

Was it to be us against them?

I hoped not.

The muffled ringing of my cell phone, still in my coat pocket in the other room, snapped me out of my trance. I ran to answer it, tripping and almost falling in my haste. I clawed at my coat, finally snatching the phone out before it could go to voicemail, only catching the briefest of glances at the caller ID before I snapped it open. The little glowing screen read The Blacks.

Jacob and Billy's home phone number. A wave of nausea swept over me and I slumped on the kitchen floor, against the refrigerator, as I brought the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey Bells!" Jacob's cheerful voice boomed into my ear, and for a moment I was completely paralyzed. "How're you doing?"

"I… hi, Jake."

"So, I'm calling to invite you over again for Thanksgiving next week."

The utter normalcy of his words and his happy voice clashed hard against the panic that was still building inside of me. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? It's time to give thanks. Dad and a few of the other elders are out meeting with that bloodsu… uh, with Dr. Cullen. To renegotiate the treaty. I figured it was a time to celebrate, with them leaving town and all."

"What are they renegotiating?" I gasped, my breath ragged in my throat now.

"Hell, I don't know, but it doesn't really matter if they've left town, right? Seriously Bells, come down for Thanksgiving, please? I know I was a complete asshole the last time I saw you and you probably haven't forgiven me, but Billy specifically asked me to invite you down. I mean, it could be because he's hoping you'll cook, but…"

I banged the back of my head against the refrigerator door. "Jake… I really don't know yet. Can I get back to you on this?"

"Uh, yeah, sure… but what's there to think about?"

A beep sounded in my ear, indicating another call coming in. I pulled it away and saw Alice flashing on the little screen.

"Jake… hang on one second, Renee is on the other line. Let me just tell her that I'll call her back, okay?"

"Sure, sure," he replied amiably. I hit the button that put him on hold and connected me through to Alice.

"Bella? What's going on? Everything just disappeared and I…"

"Alice, it's just Jake, he's on the other line trying to convince me to come down to La Push for Thanksgiving. What the hell is going on with renegotiating the treaty?"

She was quiet for a moment. "I honestly don't know. Carlisle called earlier to give us a heads-up, but he didn't know any more than you do at that point. I can't see what's going on with those stupid dogs involved."

"But can you see our future? Are we all... still there?"

"Yes," she replied immediately.

A deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding whooshed out of my lungs. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely. Bella, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. But I've still got Jacob on the other line. Can I call you back in a bit?"

"Of course. Just please don't forget, all right?"

"I won't. Bye." I clicked back over to Jacob only to hear uproarious laughter in my ear. "Jake?"

"Huh? Oh sorry, Bells, I'm watching TV, this new show is fuckin' hilarious…"

"Yeah, that's nice. Listen, can I call you back on the Thanksgiving thing?"

"Uh, yeah, if you want. But why is it such a big deal? Do you have someone else you're planning on spending the day with?"

"No," I said softly, hating the lie even as it slipped easily from my lips.

"Well then it should be a no-brainer, right? Listen, I promise not to get into the stuffing again…"

"Jake, I've really got to go. I'll call you back later this evening, okay?"

"Jeez Bella, calm down. Is everything all right over there?"

"Yes, of course it is!" I responded, just a little too shrill. I shut my eyes and tried to drag in a silent breath. "It's just… you called just as I was walking in the door and I had a really long day. I'll call you back in a bit."

"We really want you here for the holiday, Bells." His voice softened. "Especially if you're moving to Florida in a month. We miss you, y'know?"

"Yes, I know. I'll call you back, I promise. Goodbye, Jake."

I didn't wait for his answer before I clicked the phone shut. I sat on the floor for several minutes, trying desperately to calm down. The situation couldn't be too dire if Jacob was in such good spirits, but I hated that I hadn't heard a single word from Edward. Even as the thought crossed my mind, I understood his reasoning behind it: he hadn't wanted me to worry.

It was too late now, though. I scrambled up off the floor and ran into the bedroom to pick up my overnight bag, then returned to the kitchen to hastily shrug into my coat. A quick glance around assured me that the apartment was secure for the evening, and I flicked off all the lights before leaving, locking the door behind me.

I climbed into my truck and started it, resisting the urge to immediately throw it into gear and stomp on the gas. The day wouldn't be any easier if I ended up doing something stupid and getting into an accident before I'd even left Port Angeles. Instead, I forced myself to wait as the truck rumbled reassuringly around me, sucking in and releasing deep breath after breath.

One thought kept beating through my mind, though.

Edward.

I needed to be with him.

I needed him holding me, even if it was to scold me for my impetuous actions.

I needed his lips kissing my fears away.

I needed him.

I put the truck in gear. I had absolutely no idea where Carlisle, Edward, and the Quileutes might be meeting, and it would be fruitless to drive all over Forks and La Push looking for them. If Edward wasn't home when I got there, though, I'd wait on the front porch for him. I needed to see him with my own eyes, to reassure myself that he was okay.

I had a faint awareness that I was being more than slightly irrational, but I didn't care. For the first time I had a glimmer of awareness about Edward's feelings regarding my safety: I knew I wouldn't relax until I saw for myself that he was safe.

As I left the city limits and headed into the forest that surrounded US-101, three thoughts flickered briefly across my mind. Jacob. Alice. Shield.

Almost unconsciously, I pulled my shield up over my mind, and then I was free to think, without worrying about anyone spying on my thoughts or seeing my future.

Thanksgiving. If Edward had a plausible excuse that could get me out of going down to La Push for the day, I would take it, but I had no idea what he could possibly come up with. Jacob and Billy were convinced that the Cullens had left town, and they still had no idea about Edward and I. It would probably be easier to just go for the day, to pretend everything was fine, to talk about my supposed move to Florida. To cut Billy and Jake loose with easy minds, thinking I was going to stay with my mother, far from any vampires. I could call them frequently enough to keep them assured of that notion, before gradually tapering off contact altogether.

The Quileutes had no reason to harm me, or to believe that the Cullens posed any further threat. To keep Billy and Jacob's concern at bay, I'd go there for Thanksgiving; anything to keep them from wondering why I wouldn't.

With the decision made I calmed down somewhat. Edward would be upset, yes, but I was sure Carlisle would agree with me. A single day's charade was easily worth peace of mind for the next month. My breathing began to even out and my heartbeat slowed down, I eased my foot off the gas pedal and the truck slowed down immediately.

I drove past Lake Crescent, the water shimmering in the full moon that had already risen. It was full-dark, but the moonlight lit up the road ahead of me as if it were day. I recognized the landmarks around me and realized to my surprise that I was already almost halfway there.

As the lake faded behind me I groped for my cell phone, thankful that I'd thought to pull my shield around my mind before making this decision. Alice would probably be furious, and I knew Edward would be, but that could all be dealt with later. Lying to preserve the secret, it was good practice for being a Cullen. Carlisle's words from not even two weeks before were already burned into my mind.

In my hurry to leave Port Angeles I'd simply thrown my bag, purse, and cell phone onto the seat beside me, and now my inching fingers couldn't locate my phone. I huffed a little and waited for the next straight piece of road before I turned my head, quickly searching for the little flip-phone.

I finally saw it, gleaming black against the dark upholstery, and my fingers closed around it as I snapped my attention back to the road, just in time to see two deer frozen in the lane ahead, their eyes reflecting the headlights back with an unearthly glow.

I screamed and stomped on the brake pedal, yanking the steering wheel to the right at the same time. The deer remained paralyzed in the center of the road. I could see almost every detail of their hair, hides, horns and eyes as the front right tire of the truck hit the dirt shoulder of the road. In an instant, the steering wheel wrenched violently under my hands, now completely out of my control. Trees branches slapped sharply against the windshield as the truck hurtled down an embankment, I pressed my foot violently against the brake pedal even as I realized that it wouldn't do any good.

A thick tree trunk loomed up in the headlights a split second before the front of the truck hit it head-on. My upper body snapped forward with the impact, my chest hitting the hard steering wheel with explosive force, blowing every ounce of air out of my lungs. My head followed suit as my neck folded, cracking my forehead against the top of the wheel. And then things became very black.

My first thought when my eyes opened again was that I'd been in the hospital many times before. I'd lost count by now. This would be just another entry on my already-thick chart. That thought faded out to black.

Car accident. I'd been in an accident. Did I need to worry about the truck catching on fire? Seatbelt… fingers fumbling, and then it was dark and quiet again.

…fingers found the catch of the lapbelt, so hard to push. Accident…cars always exploded in the movies…

…sudden release from around my hips, hands scrabbling now for the handle on the door

falling out of the truck, cold air sluicing over my body like an icy bath

cars exploding, get behind a tree, what

dark again, so long and far and deep, too much dark, too much

no breath no breath no breath

Edward

Edward

The name piercing the blackness between my eyes and my mind

Alice

No, Alice wasn't watching

…shield…

SHIELD!

I coughed weakly, feeling air ooze out of my lungs. Shield. Was it gone? I didn't know, I couldn't see, I couldn't tell. I wanted it gone, but was it? It had to be, for Alice…

SHIELD! Edward was screaming at me now, in my mind. It had to go. No matter what, the shield had to go. I wasn't even sure now why, but if Edward told me to, then I would do whatever he said.

And it shimmered

and then it was just black