Unapologize
By: PricklySare
A/N: You guys are wonderful! Thanks for reading this story. M, you're still awesome! Let me know what you guys think of Ranger's view of the handler. I'm evil, I really am. :) --Sare
Chapter 15: Ranger's POV-- Heading Out.
I looked over at the clock and grabbed my gear. It was time to go. My final two hours on American soil had been spent staring at the ceiling above my bed thinking about Steph. I hated having to leave with everything up in the air. Especially after the show down with her bitch of a sister. Unfortunately, like so many other things in my life, I had no say in the matter. One of the many reasons I spent the last several years pushing Steph towards Morelli. My life wasn't conducive to relationships.
Now that the time had come to head out I pushed thoughts of Steph out of my mind, locking them away for a different time. It was time to focus. Every mission I'd ever taken on was always dangerous, but none had screamed at me the way this one did. The file itself stated the probability of survival being minimal at best, giving me a thirty percent change of returning to claim a life back in Trenton. That wasn't what was bugging me though.
While in the briefing room I had thoroughly read through the file, and overall the mission prospectus seemed pretty straight forward. Get in, acquire the research, neutralize the test subjects, and destroy the compound. Nothing I haven't done before, only this time I was going in alone. Generally, this type of mission would have a team of operatives working together, backing each other up. Not this time. This time, it was a solo op and it wasn't sitting right.
According to the file I would have various contacts once I touched down in the unknown Mexican town of Los Guerreros de la Oscuridad. The name, meaning Warriors of Darkness, seemed like a fitting name for a place where an organization with too much money and not enough morals were playing God. Unfortunately, aside from those contacts, I was on my own. A one man army sent in to protect our Nation's way of life. Looked like I was indeed going to be playing Batman, only on a much larger scale.
Something else had been bothering me as well; something was different about my handler. Her actions felt, off. Granted, I didn't actually know much about her; nothing about her if I was honest about it. I didn't even know her name. She was my handler, a necessary evil in the life of an operative. She held no other importance in my day to day life. In a manner of speaking, she was like the kid who worked the register at a fast food restaurant. Someone who came in and did a job, but for the most part was looked over. I only knew her as, Tracto; the Latin word for handler.
I'd rolled around the sheets with her a few times in the past, when my physical need outweighed the usefulness of self gratification. She'd helped take the edge off, but wouldn't have even made it into my top one hundred as far as quality goes. Words were never spoken, promises were never made, and we went about our business.
As an operative and a handler, a relationship could never be made, even if I had been interested in one. She was my link to the Organization, and emotions could prove to be deadly. While I'm in deep, my orders, as well as the majority of my intel comes through her. Essentially, she is my lifeline. If I miss a check in, she's the one who decides whether or not to send in a team, or write me off as a loss. Like with Steph, I might have all the muscle, but she has all the power. Right then, that didn't feel like a good thing.
I felt her presence before she spoke, "All set, Nychta?" Tracto asked. Her voice was flat and even, and didn't even hint at what she had offered two hours earlier. She appeared totally professional, and I felt in my gut that it was an act. Shit, this is not what I need. I had a sudden moment of clarity. She was attached. Emotionally involved. Well, fuck me. The only woman I had ever been emotionally attached to, the only woman I ever would be emotionally attached to, was waiting for me in Trenton. Tracto didn't stand a snowball's chance in Hell.
"Ready to roll," was my only response. I needed my head in the game, not worrying about her misplaced feelings. When I returned I was going to have to request a different handler. Preferably, male.
"The chopper takes off in ten, you won't meet with your first contact for two days. Get in, do some recon, and keep your head down." The sound of her heels rang through the empty hall as we headed toward the elevator that would take us to the helo pad on the roof. Keep my head down? No, shit. I was tired, emotionally open for the first time ever, and sexually frustrated. She was getting on my nerves. Fuck! I needed to find my center and control myself or else I was going to get myself killed. She was still talking, "Your contact will meet you at La Cantina in the heart of Los Guerreros de la Oscuridad. Midnight in two days."
We had arrived at the helo pad and the pilot was doing his last minute system checks before take off. I tossed my gear into the chopper before turning back to Tracto. She needed to get rid of the emotions and focus on her job or else this mission was going to blow up in my face. That just wouldn't fit into my plans. I needed to make it back to Trenton alive and in one piece. I had very big plans that involved rings, and forever.
"Tracto," I said. "Before I leave I'm going to tell you something, and you need to understand it." She was quietly looking at me, but her body language was anything but silent. It was screaming. I needed to nip this thing in the bud before it bloomed into a full scale SNAFU. "When I return from this op, I'm getting married." I didn't feel the need to inform her that I hadn't even talked to Steph about this yet, but I would cross that particular bridge when the time came. "Move on," I said before turning my back to her and climbing in the chopper.
The pilot had finished his pre-flight check and I gave him thumbs up indicating I was ready to go. I cleared my mind of everything except the mission ahead, and slipped into my zone. It was showtime.