Chapter 5

The heavy rain had finally taken a break. It had been raining loudly and endlessly all day, but now that it was time to get off work, Syaoran was grateful for the momentary pause. The clock on the wall reflected 7PM, which was the usual time he finished work. Working overtime was something he was used to and didn't bother him. There was nothing waiting for him at home anyhow. After turning off his computer and gathering the folders to one side of his desk, he walked towards the elevator.

When he scanned the floor nonchalantly, he caught sight of Sakura inside Soshi's office but no sign of Boss anywhere. He stopped and watched her for a moment. There was misery clear on her face. For some reason, it irked him to think about it.

Convinced that it was just mere curiosity, Syaoran walked to Soshi's office and knocked lightly.

The anticipation in Sakura's eyes immediately dimmed when she opened the door. She kept her hand on the knob. "What do you want?"

He peeked inside. True enough, Soshi wasn't there. "You still waiting for your boyfriend? It's past 7 you know."

"Thank you for that obvious statement." She pointed at the big clock positioned against the wall facing the door. Sakura turned back and sent him a look. "Why are you still here?"

"I usually work this late." He could see the weariness in her eyes. "Matsumoto hasn't come back from a meeting yet or what?"

The warring feelings of embarrassment, anger, and fatigue fought inside her. Fatigue won. She sighed as she stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her. She had come in that day one hour early just to meet Soshi, who actually hadn't been available because of a sudden meeting. Then lunch time came and he had excused himself again, apologizing for the extra pile of work that came into his hands. He then promised to make it up to her that night with dinner at his favourite restaurant.

Her work ended at 5. Since lunch, she didn't receive one call or message from him about the plan after work or even about another sudden meeting that seemed to trap him upstairs for two hours already. Sakura was exhausted. Work had been hell, to say the least, having dealt with several uptight and rude people over the phone. To add to that, what she hated most in the world were broken promises. Soshi had promised her frequently over the span of two weeks that they were going to do this, do that, whatever. But none of it had actually ever happened.

Dammit, where was the Soshi she had admired? The Soshi she had been with in Yuigahama, who had showered her with sweetness and gentleness?

"He hasn't called," she admitted in defeat. "So I don't actually know if he's in a meeting right now." She then looked up at Syaoran, waiting for a sarcastic remark. When she didn't get any, she let out a sad moan. "I must look pretty pitiful right now."

"You do." Looking at her now, he felt like thoroughly beating up the man.

Sakura ran a hand through her hair and said helplessly, "I'm already so tired. Why doesn't he seem to realize how I feel?"

He watched her walk towards the couches by the elevator with her shoulders slumped. He'd seen her stressed out and pissed off before, but not defenceless. Thinking of a man being inconsiderate of his own girlfriend made him angry. To take someone you care for, for granted made no sense to him. Life was too frigging short for time to be wasted like tat.

Syaoran sat beside her on the maroon leather sofa then took out his blackberry. "You hear about the free package deals they're giving out to people on the streets? I heard they just go up to you and offer you two plane tickets to Hawaii and they pay for everything. I mean, hotel, resort, whatever you want, and that includes all the meals, the spa, everything. For three days. Isn't that crazy?"

Though she couldn't understand why Syaoran was still there, she was glad and relieved that she wasn't alone. She looked over at him with doubt. "What are you talking about?"

He shoved his blackberry at her face. "It's been on the news all week. They do a really big prank on you without you knowing it, then they offer you that deal. You haven't heard of it?"

"I haven't!" She grabbed the blackberry from him and read through the blurb of news quickly. How was this even possible! Suddenly, as though the rest of the world had shut up for a second, all her exhaustion and frustration vanished from her body. She jumped up. "Oh my God, this is so exciting! How, how do they find you? How do they pick?"

This was exactly what she needed to get away from work completely. She needed to relax. It was perfect – spend some time at the beach, maybe take a nice swim in the beach, sit on the sand and drink a nice cool drink at the beach. A Hawaiian beach. She blinked rapidly, finding the image too bright. This was perfect!

Syaoran, meanwhile, watched the transformation with amusement. One moment she looked like the saddest, most pitiful person on the planet and the next she was an overly cheerful and happy version of her normal self. Just as she began to wave her fists in the air, he stood and took the blackberry from her hand.

"Beats me. But…" He paused for dramatic effect. "I'm thinking of walking around aimlessly in Tokyo tonight. Maybe if I look stupid and innocent enough, they might pick me." He flashed a cheeky grin as he walked to the elevators.

"Wait! I want that deal too. I'm going with you. They might give both of us the package deals, right?"

Syaoran chuckled. "They might."

When the elevator bell dinged and the doors opened, Soshi stared back at them, a pleasant smile on his face. Syaoran's amusement fell. Sakura's smile faded at once. The reminder was sudden and piercing.

"Sakura, Syaoran." Soshi stepped out. "Have you been waiting long, Sakura?"

How was she supposed to react to that? Was he really that dumb? Attempting to keep her temper in check, she said instead, "Soshi. You had a meeting?"

"Yes. I'm sorry for the wait," he offered, reflecting sincerity in his eyes. "Let me just grab my things then we can go. Syaoran, you worked hard today. Would you like to join us for dinner?"

Sakura turned away, her anger and embarrassing resurfacing once more. Syaoran didn't have to see her expression to know it. He shook his head and said, "Sorry Boss. I have plans." With that, he walked into the elevator.

Sakura looked up just in time to catch the smile of support on Syaoran's face. Why did that one little expression ease her frustration? He'd stayed just a little bit more for her, made her forget her troubles, and in that short span of time, actually made her feel better.

How could he become so unexpectedly and ridiculously sweet at the times when she needed it the most? Syaoran then wagged the blackberry side to side, reminding her of what they'd talked about earlier. She smiled in gratitude and brought her hand up to wave goodbye.

Soshi then grabbed hold of her arm. She looked back at him, zeroing in on the remorseful expression on his face. This was strike two, wasn't it? Instead of fighting it, she let it go. She was worn out. "I'll wait here." Realizing he'd upset her, Soshi squeezed her arm affectionately just before he walked back to his office.

When Sakura watched him walk away, the familiar disappointment waved over her. It made no sense why someone as supposedly charming as Soshi was, could be so disillusioning, while someone as cynical as Syaoran was, could be so caring. Soshi had already cancelled on several promised dates, and with that, her mind began entertaining the thought that Soshi really wasn't the prince charming she'd expected all along.

As she turned back towards the elevator, Sakura, for the first time, wished she was with Syaoran instead.

...

During dinner, Sakura looked outside the window and noticed the rain starting up again. She bit back a sigh as she finished the last piece of her steak. Soshi was pleasantly talking across from her, telling her his usual stories of work and other aspects of his life. In the beginning, she had been so caught up with it, full of curiosity for this man. It was funny how, as time went on, she realized he never really asked her anything about herself. Every conversation always seemed to end up about him.

She bit back a derisive laugh. Why was she becoming so pessimistic about him already? How can you think about giving up on him like this? She tried to shake off the thought. This was her prince; hadn't she thought that for the longest time?

"Sakura?" Soshi finally noticed her lack of response after going off on a monologue for five minutes. He took her hand in his. "Are you still angry?"

"Hmm?" She looked back at him and absently smiled. "No, I'm not. You apologized, so I forgave you." But she wondered if she even believed his sincerity anymore. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

"Yes, it has." Soshi drank his wine, then leaned forward and pushed back a stray hair from Sakura's face. "Again, I must apologize for the wait. The way work is going right now... I can't exactly leave the meeting early, as much as I'd like to. An executive chief oversees many things, after all."

"It's not that, Soshi," she began, finding her frustration bubbling up. "I know you're busy. You're my boss, for goodness' sake." Her temper was a flaw she fully knew of herself, but usually, unless it was Syaoran pushing her at her limit, she was good at keeping it in. Now she fought for control as she tugged her hand away from his. "It's just…don't make promises you can't keep. Okay? That's all."

After a moment of silence, Soshi merely nodded and leaned back against his chair. The blank expression on his face told Sakura she'd just embarrassed her boss, not her boyfriend. More bothered now for the lack of understanding on his part, Sakura just looked away and bit back angry tears.

What happened to the perfect man she thought she knew for three long years? Why was Soshi so completely different from what she'd imagined him to be? Couldn't he have at least been a bit kinder or caring, rather than just putting on a show with those roses and those sweet words in public?

Being his girlfriend now, it was a hard fact to face that Soshi Matsumoto wasn't in any way, shape, or form, prince charming. At least, not the man behind those looks.

Then he took her hands and pressed a light kiss on the inside of her palm. And it was funny how these things he did never seemed to make her heart palpitate in excitement. It had always seemed forced on her part, even in the beginning.

"Forgive me, Sakura. It was my fault entirely. I won't make promises I can't keep."

Because his eyes were full of remorse, she could only sigh, feeling herself waver. Three years had meant so much to her. He had become a fantasy in her mind, and that fantasy just didn't match with reality, and it was painful to accept that. But…his eyes. She cursed herself for having a heart that was just too infuriatingly soft.

"I know," she murmured. "It's partly my fault anyway." Because she expected too much. "Let's…do better next time." One more chance.

::::::::

Sakura grabbed several cans of sausage and fish from the shelves. Her monthly supply of groceries was seriously lacking and she had decided earlier that day that it was a good time to go grocery hunting. She only ever did it twice a month and when she did, it often ended up becoming a massive shopping spree.

At first the thought of inviting Soshi had come up, but despite a month of dating, there were too many ups and downs in their relatively fragile relationship that said they weren't at that stage yet. She wondered if she would ever get there with him. The last few weeks had been decent; Soshi did, after all, stop making promises he couldn't keep. At work, there was no display of affection, as he was still her boss first and foremost. It didn't help that after hours were often spent in the meeting room with other executives. She hadn't realized how difficult it was to be the girlfriend of a highly ranked member of the company. Really, their month of dating didn't feel special; half the time she felt he wasn't even a boyfriend because he just wasn't around.

So now, instead of going on her own, she had asked Tomoyo to go with her. At that particular moment, Tomoyo had gone to find a book and left Sakura alone to finish up her groceries.

Walking aimlessly and her mind distracted, Sakura turned a corner in one of the aisles and accidentally hit another cart that jolted both her and the cart in front of her. The bags of vegetables and fruits from the other cart fell on the ground.

"I'm so sorry!" She quickly apologized, falling on her knees and grabbing them. "It was completely my fault, I'm really sorry!"

"No kidding." The familiar sarcastic voice made her stop. She slowly looked up, a bag of oranges in her hand, and met the annoyed stare from none other Syaoran. "Wow. You're just as inept out in public, aren't you?" He shook his head in disapproval as he picked up the bag of bell peppers.

Sakura heaved a loud, deep breath. She gathered herself and stood up, wiping at the front of her jeans. "Oh well, it's just you then. I'm not sorry. I take it back."

Just as soon as he managed to grab all the items that had fallen on the floor, he turned back to her. "I can't believe how different you are around Matsumoto. What's that about?"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him snootily. "What do you mean?"

"You act all innocent, feminine, and must I say, understanding, around him, when you're really not. Around me, you're excessively loud, impatient, and whiny."

"Okay, I am not loud or whiny, and I do so have patience. You're just an exception; a little prick at my side that just needs to be crushed out."

"That is so funny. I don't think I've ever heard you say anything as funny before." When she continued to glare at him, he chuckled then thumped the top of her head with ease. "You should be sorrier. You contaminated my food when you spilled them all over."

"Why?" She retorted. "They didn't fall out of the plastic bags." Sakura then circled over to his cart and examined it. Loads of vegetables and fruits, from mangoes to tomatoes to even broccoli filled the cart. "You are such a nutrition freak." It was interesting, though not completely surprising. She did notice his athletic build, much to her own self-denial. She then caught sight of two big boxes of cereal. "Fat-free, no sugar, incredibly low in calories. What kind of cereal is this?"

"The healthy kind." He grabbed the cereal box from her hand and studied it himself. "Look at all the nutrients and vitamins it gives." He let her take a look, then snatched it back quickly. "I didn't realize you're a spokesperson for all foods unhealthy and fattening, though." He pointed to her own cart full of chips, canned goods, instant noodles, and other cold, pre-packaged meals.

She followed his gaze, knowing full well how unhealthily she ate. For the life of her, she could not cook. She'd tried half-heartedly before, but never could get the taste and flavouring right. Sakura's father was the best chef in town, but she hadn't inherited his passion for cooking.

"Okay, so I don't know how to cook," she admitted defensively. She caught the derisive look he sent her. "What? Don't tell me you know how."

"Hey, I cook delicious food." He said with confidence.

Stunned, she could only ask, "What kind of food?"

"Japanese, Chinese, some Italian." He grinned when he caught the look of astonishment in her eyes. "You haven't fallen for me now, have you?"

At that, she stopped for a quick moment, and then began to laugh scornfully, half out of spite and half out of mortification. "A man can dream." She returned to her cart. "You might be able to cook, but that's not all a woman looks for in a man."

"Sakura! I found it," Tomoyo called, running over to her. As she reached Sakura, she was pleasantly surprised to find Syaoran. "You."

"Tomoyo Daidouji, right?" He reached over to shake her hand. "So you're Sakura's date for the day. It's been a while since I've seen Sakura alone, after all. If it's not our boss, then it must be someone else."

Sakura made a sound under her breath.

"Yes, well, I heard they're having problems—"

"Tomoyo, let's go," Sakura interrupted, hookingher arm through her friend's and forcefully pulling her along. "I'm done. Let's go pay!"

"Wait. I haven't seen Tomoyo in a while. Why won't you let us catch up? We're friends too," Syaoran interrupted, blocking Sakura's path with his cart. He smiled again at Tomoyo. "Why have you been you hiding her anyway? Afraid we'd fall in love with each other and run away from you?"

Finding this exchange between Sakura and Syaoran too adorable for words, she could only laugh. "That would be one crazy adventure," Tomoyo agreed. "Don't get worked up, best friend. He didn't mean it."

Instead, Syaoran patted Sakura's head again, this time more lightly. "It's okay, Tomoyo. She knows I do. I'll leave first." He grabbed the handles on his cart and sent Sakura a reprimanding look. "Do me a favour and grab at least one fruit?" Then he nodded at Tomoyo and made his exit.

Sakura repeatedly waved her closed fists in annoyance. "Why does he have to torment me like this? Is it really that funny to see me mad?"

Tomoyo nodded, seeing the frustration in Sakura's face and wanting to pinch her cheeks for it. "Yes! Because you're so cute!" She gushed and gave her a brief hug. "You get so worked up over the littlest things, Sakura. It's not hard to tease you at all." She then took over the cart and began pushing it towards the counter. "So anyway. I found the book."

Sakura turned back slightly and saw the back of Syaoran's head. He really was tall, she mused. She knew she was entirely too sensitive, but Syaoran was always being so annoying, so it wasn't totally her fault for overreacting. It had become an everyday routine, their constant bickering, that she couldn't not get angry with him. Otherwise…it just wouldn't be as fun.

Only hearing Tomoyo's words now, Sakura looked over at her. "What book?"

"The book, remember? Eriol was making such a big deal about it, promising to buy it for me. I'm getting it just so he won't get that chance. That man thinks he can charm his way back into my life. I'm not going to let it happen." Tomoyo parked the cart in one of the lanes.

"Eriol came back a week ago, right?" Sakura began unloading the cart, placing the groceries onto the counter.

"Yeah, but he hasn't stopped bugging me since. It's either a phone call or a text message or an email or whatever. I told him to stop it, but he just won't. He won't give up until I give him a chance to explain himself, so he says. We'll see how long he can last."

"Don't punish him for too long, Tomoyo. The guy's still in love with you. It won't hurt to give him a chance, will it?"

"I don't know. I'm already worrying about when he'll come for a personal visit. I'm really afraid of my reaction when I see him face to face. It's been…three and a half years since I actually looked at a picture of him. I completely cut him out of my life, you know?" She sighed as they waited for the cashier to finish up the customer in front of them. "So you and Soshi haven't gone on an actual date for what, over a week and a half now?"

Sakura could only shrug. "I don't know. He's always busy. At the same time, I feel like I'm just waiting for him to disappoint me again. I don't get it." She let out a sad laugh. "I mean, he was supposed to be the perfect man. I feel like I spent three years looking at someone who's totally, completely opposite of the Soshi I'd made up in my head." When the cashier began scanning their items, Sakura began to load the groceries in the bags.

"I hate to say I told you so. You were being way too naïve about it, Sakura. There is no such thing as a perfect gentleman. Soshi might've looked great on the outside, but…"

"I know, I know." Sakura's phone rang, interrupting their conversation. She opened it quickly and saw Soshi's name on the screen. "Hello?"

"Sakura, are you busy?"

Sakura met Tomoyo's questioning look. "Um, yes, well. I was grocery shopping with a friend, but we're finishing up now. Did you want to meet?"

"Yes I did. Since you're almost done, how about we go out for lunch? I haven't taken you out properly for some time."

Sakura covered a part of her phone as she looked back at Tomoyo. "Can I go for lunch with Soshi? He said he wants to take me out."

Tomoyo nodded in agreement. "Go ahead!"

"Where did you want to meet?" Sakura asked while paying for the groceries.

"Why don't you go home first and I'll pick you up there. There's a great restaurant I've wanted to try out. Put on something classy, ok?"

Knowing how much effort it was to look sophisticated and classy, a persona that she truly wasn't in any way, Sakura could only bite back the slight displeasure. Instead, she replied, "Sure. I'll see you soon."

"Great. I'll be there in an hour. It'll be wonderful, I promise."

She winced. He'd told her he wouldn't make promises he couldn't keep anymore and she'd started believing him again. He had been so careful and never said the word all three weeks after their conversation about it. Realizing she was becoming too disillusioned by him, Sakura purposely ignored those feelings. It was going to be a wonderful date, she repeated to herself.

...

Two and a half hours past noon, Sakura looked herself over for the fiftieth time on her full-length mirror. When he called about the date at 11:30, he said he would be there in an hour. So what was this? And he didn't even call to let her know what was going on.

What irritated her most was that she had actually hurried home. She took a shower, straightened her hair, put on makeup, spent a lot of time putting clothes on and taking them off, and basically working hard to find a good outfit that he would find classy enough.

When she sat back down on her couch, she didn't really know what she felt. It was a mixture of emotions; anger was there for sure, and disappointment. In the midst of it, she felt a sense of worthlessness settle in. She couldn't have been more disenchanted by it all. All her expectations, he hadn't met them. Every upsetting moment made her feel like she truly did have markedly high expectations in a man.

Deciding to finally give up, she got up to change back into her comfort sweats. Just then, the knock on the door came. Having lost all anticipation for this date, she languidly walked to the door and opened it.

As though he wasn't late, he caught her in a tight hug then revealed a huge bouquet of white tulips. "You look amazing, darling. I went to buy these just before coming here. I meant to arrive as soon as I could, but who would have guessed how dreadful traffic would be today?"

"It's Saturday," she said incredulously. Weekends hardly called for traffic on the road. "What are you talking about?"

Soshi's brows rose in surprise at her tone. "I came from Chiba and I…guess there was a big accident on the main highway. I was in my car for a while. Aren't you going to take them?" He asked, referring to the flowers she hadn't accepted.

Sakura didn't even force a smile as she grabbed the bouquet and walked to the kitchen. Why was nothing his fault? Whether or not he apologized, it never seemed to be his fault. He was always the victim. Goddammit. Why was the cellphone invented anyway? One good reason, she was sure, would be to call whoever was waiting for you to let them know where you were.

She took her time preparing the vase and cutting the stems to place the flowers in it. The tulips were great. They were lovely, like every other friggin' flower out there. But why, she thought with exasperation, would he bother stopping somewhere to buy her flowers when he was already late in the first place? She would have preferred that he come as fast as he could.

When she went back to the living room, he was studying her walls. Sakura loved the water. There were three enlarged picture frames hanging on her living room walls; one was a picture of a waterfall, another of a peaceful-looking beach, and the last of a distant green island surrounded by an ocean.

"You seem to have a fascination for water," he commented, looking back at her with a quizzical smile. "It's a unique trait."

Surprised to still find some patience, she nodded. "Yes, I feel at peace when I look at them."

"That's lovely." He then turned to her. "I must say, though, the pictures don't quite match the color scheme of your walls or your furniture." Why did the words sound so disapproving? Sakura frowned as he continued, "If you prefer trivial things like these pictures, you should have picked a lighter color for your wall. The contrast is hard on the eyes, I have to admit." Soshi then turned back to her with that smile she used to find so incredibly charming. All she wanted to do now was to wipe that smile off his face.

How dare he judge and belittle what she liked? Trivial things? He knew nothing about her.

As Sakura stared at him speechlessly, she felt completely fooled. He wasn't any kind of prince charming at all. He wasn't even worth calling a decent man. He was a self-absorbed, self-righteous man who cared about one thing – himself. How ironic that she fell for it all too easily. Why didn't she see it? There was nothing beyond the physical appearance whatsoever.

Finding the right words this time around, Sakura faced him. "Soshi. I think it's time this ended."

Soshi's eyes widened for a moment, then quickly sharpened. "Excuse me?"

"I was wrong about you. I…don't want to change who you are just so you could be the person I was expecting you to be." She ran a hand through her hair in distress. She could feel her knees weakening. She hated hurting people's feelings, but all the hurt she'd taken was already at its limit. She couldn't take anymore. "I…I just don't want to do this anymore."

"I see. Is there something I did again? Because if you're basing this decision in the past, that's not very reasonable or fair. You said you'd forgiven me. Denying your own words is quite the hypocrisy, Sakura."

The fact that he couldn't see his faults almost made her laugh. Instead, she shook her head. "No, it's not that. It's all me. Don't think any more of it."

Soshi nodded several times, trying to understand the situation, but remained baffled. Humiliated, he walked to the door then stopped and looked back at her. "I'll see you at work, Ms. Kinomoto." The coldness in his voice and the indifference in his eyes were unquestionable. She had never seen him in that way before.

They stared at each other endlessly. She refused to cower from his gaze, though her anxiety was through the roof. She'd held in her breath, partly in fear of losing her job and partly because she wanted to remain strong.

She let it go when the door closed shut. Sakura immediately felt tears pooling in her eyes. Beyond the disappointment and anger, there was a lot of misery that filled her heart, and hopelessness. Was there really no one for her? No prince charming? Was she that hard to love? All the doubts began to pile up, one by one.

And just then, Sakura gave in to it and let the tears go. Her body curled on the corner of the couch, her knees against her chest. The crying bout lasted for a good hour.