Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

All original characters, plots, and the storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Lazykate. This story may not be reproduced or reposted without permission from the author.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Silence froze the air around us long after the last of the wolves' footfalls had faded from our ears, far away from our home, deep into the woods. It was a moment when none of us were quite sure how to react.

Jasper was still poised on the razor's edge, ready to head into battle at a moment's notice, Carlisle and Esme's faces both wore faint traces of hope, Edward's own expression was completely unreadable even to me. It wasn't until Alice sucked in a deep breath and then laughed delightedly that we all thawed and moved from the positions we'd stood in for who knew how long.

"I can see," she exclaimed, with the exultation of a newly pardoned prisoner. "Finally!" Her eyes were already far away as she processed the flood of visions pouring into her mind after being blocked by the wolves' involvement for so long, and when Edward gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, I realized he must be seeing the future through her mind.

"Is it over?" Carlisle asked her quietly.

"Yes," Alice replied immediately. "I can see everyone's future's now… even… I thought for a minute that I saw Bella's, but it must have been through Edward. Everyone is going to be okay."

"We should call Rosalie and Emmett," Esme murmured, but Carlisle shook his head.

"First, we should decide… are we going to stay here? Or should we go somewhere else in case the wolves change their mind?"

"Obviously, I was wrong about the wolves' group mind before," Edward interjected, "But from what I heard, they aren't going to change their minds. They meant what they said about us staying out of Washington, but otherwise, they only wanted to get out of here and go home."

"I don't see them coming back at all," agreed Alice.

"To be on the safe side, I'll have our contact keep tabs on Jacob Black and a few of the others for a while. If they suddenly disappear…"

"They won't." Alice seemed almost overconfident now that her ability to read the future had returned to her.

Carlisle let out a long slow breath. "In that case… I'll call the movers and tell them their services are no longer necessary. And we'll call Rosalie and Emmett. And then... I'll call Eleazar."

We went inside to the living room, none of us quite willing to separate from the rest of the family just yet. "Edward, Bella… what happened?" Esme inquired gently.

Edward's jaw clenched. "I didn't know that they could only access the group mind while in wolf form, which is why Sam ordered Jacob to stay human. They were waiting for the right moment to attack, but they knew they couldn't do it as long as there were humans present, so they had split up into several smaller groups and were patrolling the area. Jacob wanted to talk to Bella, and I was so completely absorbed in his every thought that I didn't hear Sam and his group until it was too late. They came after me, and then…" Here he paused and turned to me, confusion creasing his face. "It was as though Bella's shield… as though it became solid, and it repelled them, physically. Love, do you…"

"I don't know," I whispered. I'd almost forgotten about the strange new aspect my shield had demonstrated until just now. "I didn't do anything consciously; it was the realization that they were going to kill you… and what that would do to me… I couldn't let it happen. And then it just… I don't know how to describe it. I could feel it change, but I couldn't control it as easily… I lost hold of you when you started fighting Sam."

"Amazing," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "You were able to manipulate and manifest your shield's protective ability in a completely new way. It's no wonder you weren't able to control it as easily, discovering it only under a moment of extreme stress."

"From there... Bella grabbed Jacob and threatened to kill him if any of them moved towards me again. When both Jacob and I realized exactly what Sam had done, the other two wolves backed off almost immediately. They were genuinely horrified at Sam's actions; that he would attack me with Jacob very much in danger. That was when Sam's power over them started crumbling, and he knew it. He attacked me, and I killed him."

"An eye for an eye," Jasper muttered to himself, before looking up at Carlisle. "When you call Eleazar, tell him that we killed the wolf responsible for Irina's death. Maybe then they won't go after them, and end up getting themselves torn to pieces, or starting a war all over again with the pack. Alice…"

She'd already anticipated the question and her eyes had gone hazy again as she looked for a vision indicating that Jasper's idea would work. Finally, she nodded slowly. "Yes… but Carlisle, you have to explain that the rest of the pack was only acting under the alpha's orders... that it was almost a form of mind control, that they didn't have free will when it came to obeying him."

The blond vampire nodded immediately. "I'll do that. It may be too late to salvage our friendship with them, but at least we can prevent more lives from being lost."

We all sat quietly, listening, as Carlisle made his series of phone calls. Rosalie and Emmett promised they'd be on the next flight into Anchorage, much to Esme's delight. The phone call to the Denali family was much more somber… Eleazar reluctantly agreed to Carlisle's suggestion that they consider Irina's murder avenged by Edward, but there was coldness in his voice that we could all hear, even through the phone. It was obvious that our relationship with them would not be mended any time soon.

After that call, and reassurances from Alice that the future was still perfectly clear for all of us, we drifted apart. Edward took my hand and guided me down the drive to our cottage; it appeared that the wolves had had no interest in property destruction after all, and everything was just as we'd left it.

Edward built a fire on the hearth as I moved slowly around the room, pausing to let my eyes wander over the family photographs on the bookcase, lingering on Charlie's. Two strong arms wrapped around me from behind and Edward pressed a gentle kiss to the back of my neck. "What are you thinking about, love?"

"Mortality," I said absently. "Just when I was starting to wrap my mind around the idea of us being immortal, I had to realize that we aren't, not really."

A faint shudder ran through him. "Come sit on the couch with me?"

He pulled me tightly into him as we settled down together, and for a long time neither of us spoke, there was no need to. This was time for decompression, for acknowledging and processing the idea that one or both of us could have been killed, immortal love ending up heartbreakingly brief after all.

"I blame myself," he said finally. I immediately started to shake my head but he put a finger on my lips, silently asking me to hear him out. "For not realizing that Jacob wasn't actually connected to the group mind while human, but also for being so completely fixated on him that I didn't hear three other wolves who were connected to the group mind coming. They would have killed me and then you immediately afterward, without hesitation."

I gave his fingertip a gentle nip, indicating that I wanted a say too. "First of all, how were you supposed to know about the group mind thing?"

"I should have noticed there were no other voices rattling around in Jacob's skull."

"Edward," I paused, considering my words carefully. "We had no reason to believe that Jacob didn't know the truth. You could hear his thoughts, and for all he knew, what Sam had told him was genuinely what would come to pass. Sam's plotting was just… beyond evil. He had all of us, even his second-in-command, completely fooled. Why are you any more or less responsible for not understanding how far he would go?"

"Because I can read minds," he replied roughly. "And if I can't count on that to keep you safe, then what?"

"We can't exclusively count on any one thing. We can't always count on Alice's visions to be perfect, I couldn't even count on my shield to protect you when you needed it most. We can only depend on each other and the combined strengths we bring to the table."

He took in a shuddering breath against the top of my head and his arms tightened around me. "I can't stand the thought of losing you. I thought the worst was over when you woke up from your change, I thought I would never have to worry again about not having you. Now, though, it's more, it's…"

"I understand that now," I said quietly. "I thought I did when I was human, but I didn't, not at all. Edward… there was a moment, in the forest, when some part of me deep down inside opened up and caught a glimpse of what my world would be without you. And there are no words… it was like looking into the abyss of insanity. It wasn't a world, or a life, it was nothing. If Sam had…" I stopped for a moment, even the thought made my brain twist in dangerous directions. "If they had killed you, I know I would have just dropped my shield somehow and let them do the same to me. I wouldn't have even tried to fight or kill them, because I would want to make sure they would finish the job."

Edward let out a choked cry at my words and crushed me against him, tearless sobs wracking his body. "I can't… I can't…" he managed, before burying his face in my hair again. I wanted to soothe him, but I realized that the same emotion was tearing me apart, and I could only shiver against him as we both purged the horror of the past two days.

We stayed that way for hours, not moving even after we both fell silent, watching as the fire died out and the embers grew cold. Our arms were locked around each other as though we were trying to merge into one being in a completely physical sense. Night came but neither of us stirred to build the fire back up or turn on any lights: we could see perfectly well in the dark, but there was nothing we wanted to see except each other.

I just breathed Edward in for the longest time, savoring the beautiful scent of him that I was so accustomed to, I'd almost begun to take it for granted. Sun-warmed lilacs and raw honey, one of the first things I'd recognized clearly when my change ended and I opened my eyes to my new life. I could have tracked him from across the world by just closing my eyes and following that scent alone.

His touch on my skin wasn't just a caress, as it had been when I was human. It was identification, a recognition, and reassurance. My own hands felt like a stranger's compared with Edward's on my body.

And, of course, that supernatural heartbeat that connected the two of us. The one that had replaced his human heartbeat decades ago, and mine more recently, waiting for the two of us to truly become mates. That heartbeat was an affirmation; it meant that we were still whole and us. I couldn't survive without it now, just as I wouldn't have survived without the flesh-and-blood muscle that pumped unceasingly until the last day of my human life.

Sometime in the night, I brought my hand up and began to gently stroke my fingers through Edward's unruly hair, letting the motion calm both of us. He sighed a little and turned his head to rest his cheek against my hair, but otherwise we didn't move anymore. Just the gentle movement of my fingers in his hair.

A couple of hours before dawn, I'd calmed enough to let my thoughts wander to my shield, and the new power it had manifested. I wasn't sure what had triggered the sudden physical aspect to it; one that I hadn't even realized was there. I didn't like the idea that it could only be used during moments of extreme stress or danger, I wanted to be able to control it better than that. What was the difference between that piece of it and the part that shielded my mind automatically?

It couldn't just be the recognition of danger to my mate, if so it should have been triggered when the wolves were chasing us from the scene of Irina's destruction, or later when we hid in the tree with the pack circling below us. I had a sense that knowing I was seconds away from Edward's death, as opposed to being afraid that it was a very real possibility, was maybe the catalyst… I'd shielded him and protected him because I had to. There weren't any other choices.

At that thought I gasped and stiffened against Edward, his body reacted immediately. "Love?" he queried, his voice panicky.

I turned to him, wanting to share this new realization I'd had, but the moment my eyes met his I realized he wasn't ready. He was still caught in the maelstrom of emotion that had whirled around us all night, still trying to convince himself that I was all right, that our world was secure. When I saw the pain and fear swimming in his beautiful topaz eyes, I immediately put aside thoughts of my shield. They could wait.

"Edward," I whispered, before sitting up on his lap. It wasn't easy, since his arms were still locked around me and he was reluctant to let go. Edward would always be the more obsessive of the two of us, I knew, and it was easier for him to get caught in that spiral of self-doubt and fear. It would be my job to center him, to bring him back to us. I caught his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"I should have done a better job," he whispered, his voice haggard. "I was so careless…"

"No… Edward, look at me. I'm here, I'm safe. We're together. Please just let go of it. Come back to me."

He shook his head stubbornly, but there was agony in his eyes, he genuinely believed part of the previous day's events were his fault. "I read minds unconsciously, I have to work to shut the voices out. I hear them whether I want to or not. That I chose to focus solely on Jacob's mind, that I chose to not hear any others…"

"Please?" I begged. "Don't do this. It's over."

"Is it? It could happen again, where my preoccupation could put you in danger. It would have been my fault if anything had happened to you, even the tiniest scratch."

I stared at him, realization slowly dawning across my mind that the night had been very different for Edward. I'd lain in his arms, at first in the panic of our shared delayed reaction, then later reassuring myself with the familiarity of him surrounding me. I'd even come to the point where I was logically reassessing my shield and how I could best manipulate it. Edward, on the other hand, had never come to that point. He'd held me all night, hiding his own terror as he felt mine leave me, and locked himself in his mind with those thoughts. He'd spent hours there alone, and part of him was still there.

In a split second, I wrenched myself free from his arms and was up on my knees, straddling his thighs, wrapping my arms around his head and pulling him fiercely against my chest. Fury at my own ignorance and self-absorption threatened to boil over, but I clenched my teeth and tamped those feelings back down. There was nothing more important right now other than him.

Sobs began to shake his body again. "Bella… please… I can't let anything happen to you. I was so stupid, and I could have lost you…"

I pulled him more tightly against me, desperately searching my mind for the right course of action to take. I had never seen Edward so fragile, so exposed, and it frightened me. This wasn't a state of mind I could tease him out of with sex, or talk him out of with logic. I briefly considered and abandoned the idea of trying to summon Carlisle for help; this was something that Edward needed me and me alone to deal with. He needed me to provide a place where he felt safe enough to trust himself again.

It wasn't a matter of choosing an option, and in an immediate flash I knew exactly what had to be done. Not because we wanted or needed it, but because there was no other choice.

As before I could feel it settling thickly over my mind, and I could feel my shield again, the real solidity of it, I could feel every curve of its existence and structure. We were in a glass bubble, but instead of using it to keep others out, this time I reached out to touch, to grasp, and then to lift it away.

I immediately felt a sense of frightening vulnerability, but instead of trying to ignore it, I acknowledged it. I was vulnerable. But I was safe. And that realization made all the difference.

Once upon a time, what seemed like a lifetime ago, Edward had told me that being in my mind was the closest thing he could imagine to heaven, that he could crawl inside my mind and stay there forever. No matter how closely our bodies wrapped together, Edward inside my mind was truly his home, and there was no place in the world he'd rather be.

I love you I love you I love you I love you…

A guttural cry tore loose from Edward's body, and as he bent forward to press his forehead against my chest, I felt a sensation that I had never forgotten. I could have lost every single other memory during my change, but the feeling of Edward sinking into my mind was burnt into my body and soul like instinct. Our own instinct.

He didn't even try to speak, just began rocking back and forth with me wrapped in his arms, his head still pressed tight against me. I kissed the top of his head and spoke to him the only way I knew he'd hear me.

I love you I love you, Edward please don't shut me out, come back to me and stay here with me. I need you, I need us, I need to feel you right now inside my body and out. I'm here, and I'm safe, there will never be a me without you. There's only us, it will always be us. We were meant to be, there's no other way to explain this… all of this. That you were able to wait for me, that our minds were meant to connect like this, that I know your voice and touch better than I know my own. That I could love someone like this… I never knew that I was meant for this. I never knew until I met you, when you first told me that you loved me, I never knew how much of me was missing until then.

He was listening to me, I could tell as his he slowly stopped rocking and just sat holding me, although tension was still quivering through his body.

I refuse to believe that something that is meant to be, like us, can just end. It's not possible. Think of all the things we've already survived. You fought the most powerful bloodlust you'd ever known to wait for me. I fought death because I knew you wouldn't ever let me go, and I waited for you. And when it came down to it, we protected each other, we protected us. Fate kept trying to get in our way, but we never let it. And we never will.

The feeling of Edward in my mind, during the time that I'd been human, had been warm and comfortable and reassuring. The feeling now, though, with my heightened awareness and senses, was nearly indescribable. When I closed my eyes, I could almost see his presence there, curled up around the soul I knew was still inside of me. He was like a watchdog, though… resting and relaxed, but protective and alert at the same time.

I felt his lips curve up slightly against my skin; he liked the comparison.

I let my mind drift unconsciously then, pausing occasionally to address him directly if my train of thought warranted it, but otherwise just ambling from subject to subject as they presented themselves. Edward listened quietly as I wondered when spring actually came to Alaska; the snow didn't bother me now that cold was a non-issue, but I was curious about how long it all took to melt and if there were flowers here when it did. I speculated about what the differences in hunting would be when all the hibernating creatures awoke. Isle Esme crossed my mind again more than once, and I felt his approving hum against my skin. I showed him my memories of my human life, the happiest ones being with him: the first night we made love, the morning I woke up to a living room filled with roses and a judge waiting to make us husband and wife.

We both heard Rosalie and Emmett arrive, and shortly thereafter Rosalie came to drag Jacob's abandoned motorcycle up to her garage, snorting something about the "junkpile." The day went on and Carlisle's Mercedes left and then returned a few hours later. Daylight peaked at midday and then began its slow fade. There was still enough human experience in me to marvel at how we could sit together like this, unmoving for so long, but in the greatest cocoon of contentment imaginable. Now that I had Edward back in my mind, I never wanted to let him go.

He registered my fatigue even before I did and shifted, picking me up and flying up the stairs to our bed. He curled around my body, humming softly to me as exhaustion won the battle over my tenuous hold on my shield, allowing it to slip back into place. I lay almost catatonic for a while, in the closest state to sleep as a vampire could ever get. I wasn't afraid, though, and neither was Edward.

Because now we both knew we were safe.

xoxoxoxo

The following weeks weren't magically transformed into perfect ones. Despite Alice's continued clear visions, and Carlisle's constant monitoring of the wolves' presence in La Push and Forks, we were all vigilant for any sign they might return. We were vampires, after all, and self-preservation was second-nature to us.

In the months following, as I found that spring did eventually come to Alaska, we came to realize exactly how much damage had been done to the relationship between our family and the Denali clan. Carlisle had attempted to contact them on several occasions, only to be met with unanswered phone calls and unreturned messages. Alice had seen Tanya and Kate decide to go to La Push on more than one occasion, to avenge their sister's death, only to have it change when Eleazar quietly talked them out of it. The bitterness over our refusal to help them had poisoned the relationship between us, and although we knew it saddened Carlisle most of all, none of us would have made the decision any differently.

We did ultimately decide to stay in the Alaska home for a while, although my control was remarkable for a newborn… as Carlisle and Jasper still occasionally commented… I had my moments of struggling with the bloodlust. Slowly I began to cut down the frequency with which I needed to hunt, and I always tried to be hyperaware of the needs of my body and the temptation of human blood. Edward and I began going into town more frequently to acclimate me even more strongly to the scent and against the instinct to kill. One day we ran all the way to Anchorage; the denser population was overwhelming and we only stayed for a short time. But it was progress.

And now that I knew exactly how, what to look and feel for, I was able to lift my shield and allow Edward into my mind at will. It was mentally exhausting to me after that first effort, though, fighting my body's natural defensive mechanism, and Edward quickly realized it and never pushed me to open up to him. The realization that I could if need be was reassuring to him, and when I could sense that he needed me in that way, I took the initiative and did it myself. The only thing we weren't able to do yet was make love again with him deep in my mind along with my body… the physical and mental connection was too much for me to process at the same time.

The solid manifestation of my shield had been surprisingly easy to repeat; much like the first time I'd seen my shield after my change, once I knew what to look and feel for, it was easy to practice. Working at strengthening my shield was always easier than trying to lift it away. Trying to penetrate it quickly became one of Emmett's favorite pastimes, and although he was always trying to find a way around or under it, it was remarkably impermeable when I wanted it to be.

Despite our initial longings, Edward and I didn't go to Isle Esme right away. The entire experience with the wolves had been an enormous shock to all of us, including Rosalie and Emmett, who had felt desperately helpless so far away. In the weeks following our brush with disaster, we bonded even more closely as a family, our ties strengthening as we reaffirmed our connection to each other. At the same time, though, we felt uneasy being separated for any extended period of time, and we all mutually decided not to fight what our instincts were telling us. We had eternity to start venturing out alone again, after all.

No, things weren't perfect yet, and the thing that gave me more concern than anything else was Edward. Despite the fact that he had ready access to my mind at any given moment, and that the wolves seemed truly to have kept to their promise this time, I knew that he still blamed himself for our brush with mortality. He never spoke of it aloud, but the seed of guilt was evident in his actions.

The other family members readily hunted without their mates, going out in a mixed group of whoever needed to feed at that moment. Edward never let me hunt without him, though, and he never went without me.

Although we spent time alone with our respective family members within the house… I still enjoyed my quiet time in the garage with Rosalie, after all… I never left the home without him. The first time it was suggested that I go into town with Alice alone, the panic that had bloomed in his eyes was enough to make Jasper wince, and he ended up coming with us.

When we finally started talking again about taking a short trip to Isle Esme, just the two of us, I could see the indecision battling inside of him and dropped the subject for the time being.

In late July, at Carlisle's quiet suggestion, I asked Edward to take me back to our Alaskan meadow, to the place where he'd put my wedding ring back on my finger and we'd made our vows to each other again with only God and nature as our witnesses. It was our first time back since then, and as we burst into the small clearing after a long run, I thought it was a shame that we'd waited. It was a perfect example of rugged Alaskan beauty: delicate-looking flowers poked up determinedly through the hardier grass surrounding them, and the perfectly round meadow was ringed by the forest. It was magical enough to almost make me believe in things like fairy rings… but then again, once upon a time I'd also said that I didn't believe in vampires.

It had been overcast when we'd left the house that morning, but by the time we arrived, the sun was shining pure and strong above us, without a wisp of clouds in the sky. I loved to look at Edward's skin as the diamond facets reflected the sunlight back around us: glinting as he moved, as his mouth lifted in a smile, as he reached for me.

"No matter where we go, we'll have to find our meadow in each of those places," he declared, pulling me to him.

"What about on Isle Esme?" I laughed, pulling his head down to mine. He hummed thoughtfully.

"An underwater cave may have to suffice there, I suppose."

"Swimming!" I exclaimed in one of those rare moments where yet another unique aspect of being a vampire occurred to me. "I guess we can hold our breath forever?"

"I suppose," he murmured, before kissing me deeply. I finally pulled away, my hands still on either side of his face.

"I love you. So very much."

"As I love you."

"I would give my life for you, even though that's no longer necessary or likely."

His smile faltered. "Bella?"

"I want you to talk to me."

"What about?" he said evasively.

"Edward," I said softly, and the last of his smile crumbled away. We hadn't spoken directly about his protective behavior, I had been willing to accommodate his concerns in order to alleviate any lingering anxiety or guilt he was feeling. In truth, I didn't mind Edward wanting to be with me at all times, the feeling was mutual. The difference, as Carlisle had gently pointed out to me this morning, was that Edward seemed to be almost unable to be apart from me, and that his obsession with keeping me safe wasn't easing at all. It wasn't helping either of us to ignore his behavior and pretend all was well when it clearly wasn't.

"I don't know how to talk about this." He turned slightly away from me and raked one hand through his hair, tugging on it in frustration. "I don't know how to change how I feel, and what it makes me do. All I know is that I almost failed you, and I can't ever let that happen again."

I sighed and flung myself down onto the sun-warmed grass, he followed me a split second later and lay on his back, staring up into the depths of the perfect blue sky. I turned my head to look at him, noting the tension creasing his forehead, the tiniest frown on his lips. "You didn't almost fail me," I started, hoping this wouldn't be a fruitless conversation. "Do you think Esme blames Carlisle for one of the wolves attacking her, that she thinks he didn't do enough to prevent it? Of course not."

His jaw clenched a little, but he stayed silent, knowing he couldn't argue with that particular logic.

"And if I remember correctly, the wolves weren't going after me, they were going after you. Although I shielded you for a moment, I couldn't hold on to it when you and Sam began fighting. Do you blame me for failing you?"

"Of course not," he said immediately.

I thought for a moment before my next words. "Is this…is it what you would have been like while I was still human, if you hadn't waited?"

"What?"

"You told me that you had wanted to step in, when I was human. You wanted to protect me from anything that could cause me pain, or worry, but you didn't. You realized that you couldn't protect me from the world, that you had to let me experience those things on my own, and just be ready to catch me if I fell. And you did… all while I was still a fragile accident-prone human. You're more obsessed with protecting me now than you were then."

"I don't know that I'm more obsessed," he objected, "It's just that I can actually do something about it now."

"Shouldn't I be the one protecting you still, for a few more months at least?"

He turned his head to me and stared into my eyes without speaking for the longest time. "I don't know how to explain how I feel," he said finally. "When I say I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you… it's not out of concern over what it would do to me. If you were gone, I would be too. There is no me without you, Bella. That is fairly simple. But you are everything to me…every single breath belongs to you, my every thought, my every action…my life revolves around you. Around us. You were my salvation when I thought I was damned for eternity. You gave me a soul when you gave yourself to me. You've given me so much more than I could even hope to express or give back in return."

I thought about contradicting him, but his words were coming faster now, and I kept silent as months of turmoil began pouring from him.

"From the moment… from that very first moment I allowed myself to realize you were my mate, I was in a state of terror over your well-being. When we finally came together, just being with you eased it somewhat, but the idea that you could be taken away, as quickly and completely as though you'd never existed… it was always there, somewhere in my mind. When Jacob tried to take you to La Push… it was the first time I experienced my worst fears actually coming to life. And then, the night of your accident…" He stopped for a long moment, collecting himself. "I didn't even know for certain that you'd survive long enough for the venom to take effect. Carlisle didn't know for certain. And when he called Alice, she couldn't tell him for certain either. You came so close to being taken away from me again, and I just barely made it in time.

"I will never, ever forget what that was like. Realizing that your next breath, your next heartbeat might be your last, that you would die in my arms because I'd failed you. If I live forever I'll remember the sound of your heart desperately trying to keep beating, trying to hold on, when I could have prevented it all that pain. When you woke up, I allowed myself to think that I wouldn't have to worry about that ever happening again. A few months ago, I discovered I was wrong. And it was my fault."

"Stop," I interrupted fiercely, unable to stay quiet any longer. "Edward, you can't shoulder responsibility in some twisted manner for everything that did or will happen to me. It's not your responsibility to bear! Some of it will be my fault, some of it will be accidental… you aren't solely responsible for keeping me safe!"

"Then who is?"

"Me! You! Our family! I trust you, and I need you to trust me as well!"

He flinched as though I'd slapped him. "I do trust you!"

"If you don't trust me enough to keep myself safe, or to hunt on my own, then no you don't, not really!"

"That's not…" He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Of course I trust you to hunt on your own, love. That's not it at all… it's more of a reaction to how terrifying it is for me to not be with you, if you need me."

"I'll always need you, Edward, just not in the way you've convinced yourself." I softened my tone. "Look at Carlisle and Esme, or Jasper and Alice. Even Emmett and Rosalie… they all know that their mate is more than capable of taking care of themselves, but they also know that he or she won't hesitate to ask for help if it's needed. That is what trust is about. You can take care of me by trusting me implicitly; by knowing that if I need help, you will be the first one I turn to."

"I don't think it's so much that I feel like I have to protect you all the time," he said softly. "It's more a feeling of being terrified about what could happen if I don't."

I rolled over and kissed him, then snuggled up against him, my head on his chest. "You can't hold the world together on your own, Edward, and you'll drive yourself crazy trying. Accepting that you can't control everything is the first step towards letting go of that burden completely."

"You're not a burden."

"No… I didn't mean it that way. More that you need to let go of whatever is holding you back from truly embracing this, us, our new life. And when you do that, instead of it holding you back, we can make our own gravity. Except we'll hold each other together, not down."

"Gravity," he murmured. "Funny you say that, I hadn't thought about this in a while…"

"What's that?"

"Do you remember… the day the wolves left, and Jacob told me he forgave you and that he understood your actions?"

"Yes."

"It's because the wolves actually have something very similar to a vampire's bond with their mate although…" He frowned a little. "It's not exclusive to mates. But what Jacob told me was that when they find their mate, it's like gravity doesn't hold onto you any longer, she does. That nothing else in the entire world is more important than the two of you. He recognized that in us. And when he did, he finally understood why you made all the decisions you did. I won't go so far as to say he was happy for us, but understanding it was enough for him."

"Huh," I said, puzzling it over. Maybe vampires and wolves had more in common than either of us wanted to admit.

"Don't ask me to ever stop taking care of you, love. I'll try… it'll be like turning around and starting all over again, keeping myself from swooping in to catch you even before you start to fall, but I'll try."

I kissed him again. "I don't mind turning around and starting over, as long as it's always me you're turning back to."

He smiled up at me, a real smile, and the love I saw reflected on his face took my breath away. "It's always been you, Bella. And it always will be you. I'll always only be turning back to you."

xoxoxoxoxo

A/N:

Gah, only the epilogue left now, and that's half-written already. I'm not sure whether to celebrate or bawl. As always, your thoughts are always appreciated.

Many thanks and hugs and kisses to the lovely gals at the TwiFic Pimps blog for rec'ing IDBiV! You can listen to their awesome podcast here: www . twificpimps . com/2010/09/episode-6-people-make-the-fandom-go-round/ I'm still on Twitter as lazykatevamp, please hit me up for a follow if you're so inclined!

I'll be talking to you again sooner rather than later. And that's a promise.

xoxo,

Kate