Chapter 8

Sakura stared outside her window blankly, watching the rain drizzling against the windowpane. All weekend, she had stayed home, trying to figure out what it was that she was feeling. She'd gotten close to believing that what she had felt that night with Syaoran was nothing at all. And then Tomoyo stepped foot into her apartment and all those thoughts began crumbling away.

Tomoyo took a spoonful of caramel almond ice cream and stuck it in her mouth. "Why does it bother you so much to admit that you like Syaoran, anyway?"

"Don't say it so casually like that, Tomoyo! I still get goosebumps when you put 'like' and 'Syaoran' in the same sentence. I don't understand what I'm feeling and even when I try to sort them out, I get more and more confused. The fact that I keep thinking about it like it's on replay is driving me insane." Sakura groaned as she stepped away from the window and sat back on the couch beside Tomoyo. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. With her heart thudding, she looked at Tomoyo with apprehension in her eyes. "I'm afraid that what I'm feeling for him… might be more than what I felt for Soshi…or any men in my life, for that matter."

Desperately happy for her friend, Tomoyo put the ice cream down and took Sakura in her arms. "Oh honey. This is it, isn't it? What you've been waiting for?" Tomoyo said comfortingly. "I know this is terrifying. I felt this way when Eriol came around the first time. I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd die waiting for him to ask me out."

"But you guys were in high school. I'm twenty-six years old, for goodness' sake," Sakura muttered while burying her head in Tomoyo's bosom. "I just didn't expect it to happen with him. I feel so old to be only going through this now."

"You are not old," Tomoyo said firmly, pulling away to face Sakura directly. "Age doesn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart, trust me. What are you going to do?"

Sakura raked a hand through her hair and heaved a deep sigh. "What can I do? It's not like he sees me any differently than before. This is all swirling in my head, not his. I just…I don't know."

"Are you going to tell him?"

As though she had been slapped, Sakura stared incredulously at Tomoyo. "No. That thought never even crossed my mind. This is going too fast. I don't even know for sure really, how I feel. No, that's impossible." Already in a panic, she stood up and paced the floor. "God, Syaoran will hate me. He already gets annoyed at the sight of me. He'd probably just laugh at me and call me stupid if I ever told him."

"You know that's a lie," Tomoyo said from the couch. "He's not like that and you know it better than I do. Look." She stood up and grabbed Sakura's shoulders. "Just get to know him better. Get to know that other side of his that you always talk about."

Full of doubt, Sakura stared into Tomoyo's grey eyes. "Won't he find it bizarre if I just…randomly…ask him to spend time with me?"

She laughed with glee, growing excited at this budding love. "He will. But he'll say yes anyway."

Wondering where Tomoyo got all her confidence, Sakura could only shake her head in disbelief. "How are you so sure?"

"Because I'm an outsider and I've seen the two of you from an outsider's point of view. He's probably all mixed up inside too. So I suggest, before you decide to start burying those feelings like I know you want to, explore them for a bit. Who knows what might happen with the two of you?"

::::::::::

Syaoran studied her from behind. She had been staring at her computer blankly for the last fifteen minutes. Even when he'd nudged at her chair, there was no response. What was going on in that brain of hers? It was almost 5PM, but she hadn't packed any of her things.

Having finished all his work early that day and having thought this through all night, he decided to get it over with. Ask her out, he had decided after a horrible, sleepless night. One dinner. See how it goes. If it was awful, then that was it. God, he hoped it would turn out terrible. If not, he was screwed.

Since she'd brought him to that place at the park, it almost became impossible not to think about her. A day after that, he broke it off with Julia as planned, and despite her desperation, he bluntly said the truth. Better to walk away now, he'd said. There was nothing there. Not when his mind was stuck on another woman.

A little antsy at Sakura's lack of response, he stood up, walked around her cubicle, and stood right in front of her view. Leaning over the wall, he asked, "Where are you at right now?"

She jumped in surprise. "What?"

"It's already 5. Aren't you done your work?" He asked, glancing down at her desk.

"Oh." She blinked several times and saw all the unfinished paperwork. She estimated having spent half the day spacing out and thinking. She got no work done. "Oh no, I didn't get…this finished," she mumbled, looking down at one of the assignments she had to do. "Crap."

"What's with you today?" He went around again, looked over her shoulder at the big pile of papers she had in her hand. "Uh…that's due at 6. Give me half." He grabbed a bunch from her and walked back to his desk. "I'll help you. We might get this done on time if you stop daydreaming like a damn school girl."

She stared after him. "What are you doing?"

He looked back at her, annoyance clear in his eyes. "Soshi will kill you if you don't hand this in by 6. I'm done all my work, so let's just finish this."

Her heart in disarray after that small act of kindness, Sakura stared up at him helplessly. "Why are you helping me out?"

He shrugged. "I have time."

"Let's go for dinner after." Afraid to look him in the eye, she twisted around so her back faced him. After a silent pause, she asked tentatively, "okay?"

While he was studying the first page, he let out a small smile. She beat me to it, he thought. "Sounds good."

...

On their way to his car, Sakura stretched out her arms above her head. "I can't believe we just barely made it!" She turned to him. "Thanks. I would have gotten into so much trouble had I not finished that."

"Why were you spacing out so much all day anyway?" He opened the car door on the driver's side.

At the question, she felt her face heat up. She cleared her throat. "Just a lot of things in my mind, that's all. So where should we eat? I'm starving. It's…6:15 already," she said as she looked down at her watch. "I like eating any kind of food, so you can choose."

"There's a Greek restaurant twenty minutes away. It's pretty good. Up for it?"

She nodded in agreement. "That's fine."

As they drove out, the silence settled comfortably. Sakura looked out the window and absently enjoyed the scenery. Her thoughts were still so focused on him. To have lent help that way, it tugged on her heart strings. She was a sucker for kindness, especially for something trivial as finishing a deadline that wasn't even his to stress out about. She wondered if he knew what kind of effect he had on women. This was probably why so many women at work found Syaoran likable and charming, she mused. Funny that she could only see it clearly now when he'd been taking care of her all this time in that oddly subtle way of his.

Tomoyo's words resonated in her mind. Get to know that other side of his that you always talk about…before you decide to start burying those feelings. She turned to face him. Thinking more and more about Syaoran made her even more curious as to what kind of her person he really was, especially outside of work.

"Hey Syaoran? What was your childhood like?"

He slowed down at the yellow light. Syaoran rested his arm against the windowsill. "I was quiet. I didn't get along with people that well. In school, I barely had any friends."

Astonished, she glanced up at his profile. "Really?"

He nodded. Deciding there was no point in hiding how tough his life had been, he continued. "My parents ditched me when I was four. I first got adopted when I was seven, but it didn't work out. The relatives weren't thrilled that the family adopted a seven-year-old, unruly kid. So I got transferred to another family when I was eight. I kept getting into a lot of trouble at school and they couldn't handle it. They made me go back to Social Services when I was around thirteen. This old man took me in a year later. He was a damn good cook. I kind of learned everything from him. He was an old grandpa and all his kids were all married, so he was lonely," Syaoran supplied. He glanced over his shoulder and changed lanes. "When I graduated high school, I told him I wanted to live on my own. I didn't want to be dependent on him anymore. He was a really good man," he said as an after-thought. "So he let me go. I got a part-time job while going to university, supported myself."

She never knew. Had she not asked, she never would have known anything about it at all. And he downplayed it as though it was no big deal. For someone to have gone through what he had and become as successful and independent as he was now…it was something to admire.

"That was a little depressing, huh?" Syaoran asked, flashing her a quick grin.

"Actually…I'm just amazed with what you've done with your life, even after everything. I think a lot of people who have gone through something similar would have turned to drugs or alcohol or would have simply given up. The fact that you still wanted to fight for yourself is admirable, Syaoran." She said with sincerity.

"That's a lot of praise. Thanks," he said, trying to sound nonchalant, though her words hit him hard. "Well, what about you? You must have been a happy kid."

She smiled at that. "No, but…my life story isn't nearly as complex as yours."

"I told you mine. Spill it."

"My mom and dad were wonderful parents. My older brother and I had a really good childhood. I have a lot of fun memories of that time in my life. But when I was ten, my mom died in a plane crash. My brother was fifteen at the time, so he took care of me when my dad started having it rough. Sometimes I miss her," Sakura murmured, studying her fingers. "But it's been so long that there are times when I wonder if I've forgotten some memories already." She shrugged uneasily. "I don't know, my dad hasn't really been the same since my mom passed away, but…he's still trying, I guess."

Once they'd reached the restaurant, Syaoran parked the car. But just as Sakura took off her seatbelt, he took her arm. Sakura looked back up at him in slight surprise.

"Those memories of your mom, I'm pretty sure you haven't forgotten. You won't forget, because they're important to you. Sorry to hear about her passing away."

Grateful for the kind words, Sakura smiled genuinely. "Thank you."

The interior of the restaurant had a nice ambience to it, with subtle warm light bathing the room and small chandeliers hanging above the tables. As it was only a Monday night, it wasn't quite busy and both were seated right away at a table for two.

Now sitting in a restaurant, sharing this intimate space together, Sakura became aware immediately of Syaoran as a man. Her heart slowly turned over in her chest as their gazes met. He had really long lashes. And his eyes were a unique shade of brown and red mixed together. She'd never been this close to even notice them before.

"So…this is a little awkward, huh?" She asked with a nervous chuckle. She took the glass of water the waitress offered and took a big gulp. "We've…never gone out for dinner together before," she pointed out.

She really was innocent to have to say it all out. He was already feeling distressed, despite the fact that the car ride had been perfectly fine. Sitting here now in front of her, seeing how big her eyes were and how pink and soft those lips looked, it was almost frightening. All these thoughts rushing in his mind, Syaoran looked down and opened the menu book.

"I'm hungry. Let's order."

In relief, she grabbed her own menu. "I agree."

As dinner continued on, Sakura found it unusual that after that first moment of awkwardness, it had become comfortable again. When they waited for their food, both eventually dove into conversation as they usually did with each other at work. She hadn't realized how easy it was to talk to him. For some reason too, it was like he had stopped judging everything she said and just listened, and for that, she was more than relieved.

"When I was in high school, I always thought I'd be a teacher," Sakura shared as they waited for dessert. "I loved all my teachers since elementary and thought how great it would be to inspire other children the way they inspired me."

Syaoran took a sip of his drink. "Why didn't you?"

"I lost confidence when I was in my first year of college. I realized I don't work hard enough to tell other people to work hard. Being an office clerk has been enough for me anyhow." Sakura looked up when the waitress arrived with the chocolate and strawberry parfait. "That looks so good! I think I'm drooling already, Syaoran."

He laughed. "Thanks," he said as he took it from the waitress and set it on the table. "Go ahead." Sakura flashed a bright smile as she scooped a spoonful of it. Damn, she really was cute.

"How was university? And here I thought for the longest time that you were a fool without a goal," she teased when he sent her a mocking glare. "Turns out you're smarter than me."

"Attending university means nothing," he said dismissively. "I didn't really know what I wanted to do. That old man told me it'd be good to go into business, but it's not like he knew much. He was financially in trouble half the time I lived with him." Syaoran leaned forward and ate his portion of the ice cream. "Yuki was studying business at the time. She kind of guided me through it. For me, it was like I guess I should take this. It didn't matter all that much. Dreams I mean. I…uh…never had any growing up."

"That's not true," Sakura argued passionately as she put her spoon down. "Everyone's got dreams. You were probably focused too much on survival that you didn't put as much thought into it as most people, but I bet there was part of you that wanted to become something, even if it was something farfetched and impossible and foolish." She waited until he met her eyes. "I'm right, aren't I?"

The corner of his mouth lifted. She had him pegged completely. "Astronaut," he supplied with a chuckle. "I always wanted to run away so I thought, what better than literally leaving the world and everything behind."

She laughed delightedly. He was so different. So different from who she had made him out to be. It warmed her heart to know that. The fact that he shared with her these things about him made her feel a sense of self-worth…like she became special to him in some way. Especially considering what kind of relationship they had shared for so long, who would have thought she would be feeling this way now?

"Done?" He asked as she continued to stare at him with wonder.

She caught herself and grabbed her purse. "Oh I'll pay, since I invited you out and I made you do my work."

He put down his credit card before she could. "Next time."

Startled, Sakura looked up. He met her gaze tentatively. Her heart jumped. Was it…? Anxiety growing again, she repeated to herself what he'd just said. Did that mean he wanted to go out with her again?

Realizing he was waiting for her answer, Sakura blinked and managed to reply amidst her sudden nervousness, "Okay."

:::::::::

"So what happened after that?" Tomoyo asked, her eyes wide and curious.

Sakura shook her head. "Nothing. He took me home, we said our goodbyes, and that was it. Then…for the rest of the week at work, it was like back to the way it was before."

"When you say 'back to the way it was before', do you mean like obnoxious Syaoran?"

"No, no. No, I mean, whenever we talked, which wasn't often because of how busy it's been recently, our conversations were just…meaningless small talk." Disappointed, Sakura curled up at the corner of the couch in Tomoyo's living room. "I guess Syaoran didn't feel anything? Ahh! This is so hard. Why am I thinking so much about this? I used to dislike Syaoran with a passion. I hardly ever thought about him outside of work. Now he's always in here," she muttered as she drilled a finger onto her left temple.

With sympathy, Tomoyo only offered a smile. "Why don't you invite him out again?"

"That just screams desperate, Tomoyo. And it's Syaoran. As wonderful as it was to spend time with him outside of work... We've been nothing but indifferent co-workers for two years. It…ah…I don't know." Sakura got up and walked to the kitchen. "Anyway, how's Eriol these days?"

"Well, he seems fantastic. I'm not doing so great. He showed up here and I just got weak at the knees." She said with a heavy sigh. "This is why I didn't want to see him. I become so useless and pitiful when he's around."

Sakura laughed as she walked back to the room with a glass of water in hand. "He's still gorgeous, I imagine."

"I badly wished for him to grow bald and gain 50 pounds, and unfortunately, he's just as beautiful as I remember him. I don't know. I have to figure out what to do with the situation, so…let's just leave it at that. I don't like dwelling on him. Let's just focus on you for now." Tomoyo looked back at Sakura. "Tell me, what did you think of the actual dinner with Syaoran Li?"

Sakura caught the inquiry in her eyes. "It was different. Not what I'd expected at all. I realized how little I knew about the real him. It makes me want to get to know him more," she confessed quietly. "Syaoran listened to me too. He really listened to what I had to say. He didn't belittle me or make me feel stupid about what I say or think."

"You really like him, don't you?"

She sighed as she glanced out the window. "More than I thought I did."

::::::::::

Syaoran stared up at the ceiling. This was the sixth straight night of him barely getting any rest at all. He was already an insomniac, but at least he got three-hour, four-hour naps here and there throughout the night. Now it was becoming so sparse that even two-hour naps were a luxury.

This is all her fault, he thought with displeasure. Getting inside my head like this. This is why women are so friggin' toxic to men. Syaoran rested his hands behind his head.

He wondered what she'd think if she only knew what went through his mind that whole night they'd gone to dinner. All night, it was like he was beginning to grasp just how much he grew to like her after all this time. It had become clearer and clearer as the night winded down exactly how attracted he was. She was different in a refreshing way. The way she showed interest in who he was, the way she laughed at his jokes and appreciated everything he said; it was surprisingly new. Yuki had been the same way in that sense, he remembered, but she wasn't as cheerful or happy as Sakura tended to be.

If he could put it any other way, that façade he and Sakura had shown each other when they first met was slowly breaking down now. Like they could see who the other person really was.

Syaoran groaned as he shifted position in bed again, restless. He knew he was in trouble. The fact that he was up and still thinking about her said it all. For the love of all that is good, don't make me go through that again, he begged. He shut his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep.

:::::::::

Syaoran blinked rapidly to clear his vision as he came out of the office kitchen with a cup of hot, black coffee in his hand. He was so, so tired. This was already his second cup, despite the fact that only one hour had passed since work began. When he reached his cubicle, he glanced over idly at Sakura, who was chatting with Tomoyo. Usually he would have at least greeted the pretty violet-haired woman, but looking at Sakura just reminded him of how slow and long and painful his nights were becoming.

He sat down and massaged his temples for a moment.

"Hello Syaoran," Tomoyo greeted from behind. "Are you having trouble staying awake?"

He glanced up and managed a half-hearted smile. "Hey Tomoyo. How's it going?"

"Lovely." She studied the faint bags under his eyes then her gaze swung over to the cup of coffee. Her eyes sparkled at how similar her best friend looked at that moment. This guy wasn't getting any sleep whatsoever either! Almost deviously, she moved closer and blocked Sakura's view of him. In a quiet voice, she murmured, "Sakura tells me she hasn't been able to get any proper sleep since she took you out for dinner. Could it be that you're going through the same thing?"

They eyed each other for a moment. "Uh…I don't know about Sakura, but I'm a regular insomniac."

"If I were you…it might help try to ease things if you took her out this time and repaid the 'debt', so to speak. That way you wouldn't feel obligated…or guilty that a woman asked you out on a date first. I mean, not that you would feel that way." Tomoyo then stepped back and smiled. "Besides, I know from experience that going out on a date with someone for the entire day is a very enlightening experience."

Syaoran shrewdly watched her. "Really now."

She shrugged one shoulder innocently. "I didn't say anything new that you haven't thought about."

She then walked back to Sakura, who had been watching, with eyes as wide as saucers, the little interaction between her and Syaoran. Because he was still half-asleep, he didn't bother listening in on their conversation.

Tomoyo gave him plenty to think about. He'd considered it, but wasn't sure if it would work. It might be enough to rid Sakura out of his system if he took her out on a date for the whole day. He'd be able to pinpoint exactly why she was stirring him up like this, and once he was able to do that, going back to how it was before would be easier to do. And all these churned-up emotions were probably all physical. He wasn't emotionally invested in this woman. He couldn't be.

:::::::::

Sakura woke up at the sound of her phone vibrating loudly against her desk. She blinked rapidly, but couldn't open her eyes wide enough. Using her hand to feel for the phone, she reached over the edge of her bed and grabbed it.

"Mm." She muttered in greeting, burying her face on the pillow.

"It's almost noon already and you're still in bed?"

Her eyes shot open. The deep, male voice made her push up against her bed. "Syaoran? What…"

"Wake up. There's this place I want to take you to. You're free all day right?"

In a matter of seconds, the sleepiness vanished. Almost in a frenzy, Sakura sat up quickly and held the phone against her ear. "Yes, I'm free today. I-I need to eat breakfast or lunch. But I need to wash up first, I just woke up. I can't find my slippers." Without them, she got to her feet and fished for a comb. Halfway to the bathroom, she stopped. "Wait, where are we going?"

"I'll tell you when I pick you up. I'll be there in half an hour." At that, he hung up.

In shock, she stared at her cellphone. "Half an hour? Are you kidding me?"

She looked up at the clock. Did he not know that women needed more than one hour just to get ready for an outing? Already out of sorts, Sakura grabbed her bath towel just before she ran to the bathroom to take what would have to be a five-minute-long shower.

And just as she stood under the shower head, it all then came to her.

Syaoran had just asked her out. Sort of.

She raised her face to let the water wash her reddening face. This was…technically their first date, right? Suddenly growing nervous, she took a deep breath. She had to admit, part of her was afraid of what was happening between them, and it had made her step back a little and avoid him in some ways. That didn't work to her favour in the end anyway, since she ended up wanting to see him more. But now, here it was. Another chance to be with him.

Inside her, excitement won over anxiety.

…

Almost exactly thirty minutes later, Syaoran stared up at Sakura's balcony. So he took Tomoyo's advice. He needed to get her out of his system, and since one dinner only made him want to be with her more, maybe a whole day would do the job.

Still, he winced, remembering the way he asked her out minutes ago. It wasn't exactly the most romantic way of asking a woman out on a date, but…there it was. Oh well, maybe that was for the best.

He grabbed his phone and called her. After four rings, the voicemail came on. What the hell was this. She didn't pick up. A little irked, he got out of his car and leaned against it, absently scanning the building once more. What was she doing up there anyway?

Meanwhile, Sakura hurriedly grabbed her purse and fit her feet into a pair of black flats. She had heard the call but chose to ignore it. He would just have to wait, wouldn't he?

Sakura ran to the front of her full-length mirror and surveyed herself. Her makeup accented her big emerald eyes and her pink heart-shaped lips. Her hair fell in curls along the sides of her face, while her bangs were placed off to one side. She had decided to go with a purple, subtly patterned, strapless summer dress beneath a blue and white cardigan. It wasn't exactly formal, but having some understanding of Syaoran's style, she hoped it was appropriate for wherever the heck they were going.

With a satisfied nod, she quickly walked out of her apartment. As the elevator passed each floor, Sakura's eyes followed the blinking numbers. Now that the only thing left to worry about was Syaoran, her heart began to thud in slow, loud beats.

Growing impatient, Syaoran glared at the entrance door of her building. Where was that woman? He held his phone in hand and was about to call her once more, but just as he looked up, he saw her.

Words left him. Actually it was like his mind shut off and all he could do was gape at her like a pitiful teenager going out on his first date.

Already feeling out of her comfort zone, Sakura swallowed as she neared him. Syaoran hadn't stopped overtly staring at her since she'd come out of the building. Realizing he wasn't going to stop anytime soon, she took the moment to memorize how he looked.

He'd gone with casual clothes as well, with a form-fitting white shirt under a pale grey leather jacket. He'd worn jeans – she hadn't expected him to own a pair, considering all the slacks he wore to work. She realized how well he carried himself. Though his style was the exact opposite of Soshi's, Sakura was surprised to find Syaoran a little breathtaking.

"Sorry I'm late," she began, hoping to sound at ease, despite the pulse jumping at the base of her throat. She bit back the urge to lick her lips at the way her mouth dried. "Though thirty minutes wasn't exactly that much time to prepare."

He straightened up and continued to look at her, even as she stopped in front of him. "You dressed up just for me?" He asked lightly as he touched the ends of her hair between his fingers.

She could barely feel the touch, but it was enough to make her heart go on overdrive. Sakura let out a strangled laugh. "No way. Why would I? This is how I normally look when I go out with friends." Liar. Even with thirty minutes, she'd laboriously chosen the right clothes, the right hairstyle, and the right makeup just for him.

"Really?" The way she wouldn't look at him straight in the eye was the biggest giveaway. Syaoran bit back a grin. "Let's go then."

"Where are we going?" She asked as soon as she settled into the car. More comfortable now that he wasn't staring at her so intensely, she let out a deep breath that easily enough calmed her nerves. "What are we doing? I'm really hungry. Are we going to eat first? Can we eat first? I didn't get to eat anything since you only gave me thirty minutes to dress up. Which by the way wasn't enough time."

"Stop talking."

Sakura replied mildly, "This is kidnap, Syaoran. Tell me where we're going."

"It's not kidnap if you willingly come with me." The familiarity of his words made her blush and smile. "I'll feed you don't worry."