ISOBELLE

"Isobelle?" Dad questions, looking at me with concern. "You should eat, you look tired."

I am, but what is eating going to do? I'm tired because I can't sleep. Christmas vacation is in two weeks, meaning I'm going to be a widow soon. I'm trying to let that sink in, but I'm nervous. Being pregnant hasn't made things better. I'm uncomfortable and I haven't even begun showing yet. I don't think it will be that long until I am, though.

"Chasing after Delphine takes up a lot of energy," I lie. Really, Delphine is a good little girl. Right now, she's in the kitchen with Mum, helping her bake cookies. I wish I could do things like that with her. She seems to enjoy it a lot.

Dad nods understandingly. "I did it with five of you." I don't understand how he's managed to raise five children and still keep his head on his shoulders. I feel I can barely make it with one child, much less three.

"How?" I ask abruptly, stirring my tea dejectedly.

Dad seems confused. Never have I asked him for parenting advice. I've been too proud, and too immature. "It isn't easy of course, and I'm afraid you really can't do much more than your best," he reminds me.

"And what if your best isn't good enough?" I ask timidly. "Never mind…." Every time I hear Delphine's shrill laugh from the kitchen, I feel jealousy and resentment toward Mum. It angers me. Where was she when I was that age? It should have been me she baked with, and gave hugs and kisses to, not Delphine. It isn't fair.

"What do you mean?" Dad questions.

I shake my head, unable to remember what I said. I'm distracted by Delphine's laughter. It's drilling a migraine into my head. "She wasn't around when I was that age," I say stiffly.

"Isobelle, there isn't anything you can do about that now," Dad reminds me.

I know I can't but it still hurts. "Is Delphine better than me?" I ask. "Was Rose better than me, or Nina? Is that why they deserved Mum and I didn't?"

"Of course, not," Dad says quickly. "And I don't think it at all appropriate for you to be jealous of your daughter."

"I'm not jealous of her," I mutter. I'm truly not. I'm just angry. "It hurts."

"What does?" How can Dad be so oblivious? I know he's trying to put his old feelings about Mum in the past since he's married to her now, but I can't forget. I would love to. But I can't.

"It hurts that she's there for Delphine, and Delphine likes doing things with her that I can't even do. Is that why you love her more than you loved Astoria?"

Dad doesn't answer for a long time. He's trying to think of a correct way to answer my question. Maybe he's never thought of it himself. "Your mother is a very kind and selfless woman," he starts. "Astoria wasn't."

"Then why did you love her?" I ask. I still don't understand it.

"I wasn't all too kind and selfless myself," Dad tells me. "The only one who evoked a different personality in me was you."

I understand. When I'm around Delphine I feel happier, as if my problems are much smaller. I love her for that.

"Why else do you love Mum?" I ask.

Dad sighs, probably wondering why I'm asking. "She's independent," Dad adds. I can't argue that. Mum's one of the only self-sufficient women I know, if not the only one.

"Why didn't you raise me that way?" I ask, a hurt expression on my face. "Why didn't you teach me how to take care of myself? How to cook, or clean, or any of that?"

Dad looks shocked that I would even ask him a question like that. I never thought I would ask him, but now I'm rather offended that he didn't.

"What the hell are you talking about, Isobelle?" Dad asks, confused. "Are you asking me why I didn't raise you to do house-elves' work? Are you asking me why I gave you an education instead, or taught you manners?"

"As if any of that matters! Astoria had all of that, and she was evil, and disgusting and horrible! Mum's well-mannered, and educated, and she can cook and clean! I think if you love your child, you should teach them how to make something of themselves!" I say, trying not to cry. Oh, how I want to. Dad doesn't get it. He's done all he can to make sure Scorpius gets a job and can take care of himself. Why was I any different?

Dad scoffs in disbelief. "Oh, so now I didn't love you because I didn't raise you a certain way? You were a very fortunate child, I might add. You weren't denied anything that you asked for."

"But don't you understand? I asked for all the wrong things! I didn't know I could take care myself, I'd never seen any woman do that! Not Astoria, not Grandmother, none of them!"

I don't know why I blame Dad for this- it's Simon who's making me think this way, who's made me realize that he was only able to walk all over me because I was raised to be soft. I'll be damned if the same thing happens to Delphine.

"Well, I'm very sorry I failed you," Dad says slowly, as if he can't think of the correct thing to say to me. Why can't he admit he was as blind as me?

"You didn't know," I sigh. "It's how everyone is, apparently. But Delphine is smart. She's going to go to school and get an education, and she's not going to need a husband. She'll only be married if she wants to be."

For the first time this morning, Dad gives me a smile. "It seems I did something right with you, then." I'm very proud to hear him say that. "But why is this so important to you all of the sudden?"

I don't know what to say. I want to be honest, since I think Dad could very easily help me, but I don't want him to do anything crazy. If I told him the truth, he would murder Simon himself.

"Isobelle?" Dad questions. "What's the matter?"

"Simon," I say quietly. "My relationship with him."

Dad's expression switches from one of concern, to confusion, to hatred all in one second. "What did he do to you?" He demands. "You tell me this instant."

"Nothing!" I say quickly, deciding it may be better to let things play out and keep Dad uninvolved. "It's just that, I married him so quickly because that's what I thought I was good for, being pretty and raising a family, you know, woman things…"

"I made it clear to you you were more than someone's wife," Dad assures me. No, he didn't. He gave me confidence, or as much as he could, but how far was that going to get me without a job of any sort?

"But I wasn't able to do much more than be someone's wife," I remind him. "I'm still not."

"Is that why you married Simon so quickly?" Dad asks. I'm sure with all this talking, our food's gone cold. My tea tastes like dust in my mouth. I can't even answer his question. "Isobelle?" Dad asks again.

I want to tell him. Why can't I? Because of Simon, I've kept secrets from my family for five years. It's time for part of that to be over. "I was pregnant," I admit in a small voice. "We wanted to get married before then. I lost it."

Dad doesn't move for a long time. I'm sure he doesn't know how to react. "Another?" He questions finally, after an uncomfortably long silence. I nod. "Why didn't you tell your mother or me?"

"I didn't tell anyone. Simon didn't want me to have to go through telling people," I lie. I'm smart enough not to mention how badly he treated me afterward, how that one horrible event probably determined the rest of our relationship.

"Mummy!" Delphine rushes into the dining room, grinning wildly and holding a half-eaten cookie. I give Dad a look, telling him not to say anything else about it before pulling Delphine into my lap. Mum follows seconds later, holding a plate of cookies.

"It's nice to see you, Isobelle," Mum says, grinning at me. "It seems like you've got a baker on your hands. Delphine was brilliant help."

"Were you?" I ask, smiling proudly at Delphine.

She nods happily. "Grandma makes yummy cookies! Why don't we make cookies at home, Mummy?"

How can I explain to her that it's because I don't know how? This is exactly what I meant with Dad. "You've never asked me to," I say instead. "We use magic for that."

"Can we make cookies at home?" Delphine asks with an expectant look. Merlin, she's too smart.

"We'll see, love."

Mum sits down at the table with a small laugh. She then frowns when she sees the look on Dad's face. "What's wrong, Draco? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Dad shakes his head, taking his gaze off me. "It's nothing, Hermione. I was just telling Isobelle she doesn't look well. She looks a bit ill."

Mum turns to scrutinize me as well. "You do. Are you all right? If you've got a cold, I'm sure we've got a potion for it somewhere-"

"No, thank you," I say quickly. "I'm not exactly trying to be dependent on potions again."

"Mummy's throwed up a lot," Delphine says helpfully. "Daddy says it's the baby."

Mum and Dad share a look and the room goes silent. Oblivious, Delphine goes back to eating her cookie. I stare at the top of her head in shock. I told her she wasn't to mention my pregnancy to anyone. I suppose she believed her grandparents didn't count.

"Isobelle, are you pregnant?" Dad asks carefully, staring me down.

Unable to speak, I nod slowly.

Mum purses her lips as if the news has hurt her already. "I don't think you should put yourself through this again," she tells me. I understand it hurts her to have seen me go through what I have, but doesn't she understand it's worse for me?

"Well, I can't take it back now," I say evenly. "Besides… Delphine could use a brother… or sister."

"Don't get her excited like that," Dad says with softness in his voice. "Were you planning on keeping it a secret from your mother and me forever?"

As long as I could, at least. But, Delphine's ruined any chances of that.

Mum gives me a faint smile, obviously trying to make a positive out of this situation. "How far along are you?"

"Only around three months," I say quietly. "A little before school began, then."

Mum nods understandingly, and looks away. "No wonder you were such a terror then. You complained about nearly everything."

Dad stares at me for a while, unblinking. "You couldn't stand being at home again," he reminds me. "You and Delphine stayed with us around then."

"What?" I ask, frowning.

"Simon had his trip to France, and you and Delphine stayed the week, but he didn't return until two weeks after that," Dad states, frowning. He clenches his jaw. "Are you telling your mother and me you got pregnant around that time?"

I shake my head quickly. How could I have been so stupid? I'd spent the entirety of those two weeks sneaking around with Teddy before he had to return to Hogwarts. I'd been so happy that we wouldn't have to worry about being caught by Simon. "I think you're mixed up…"

"I think you're lying," Dad says without preamble.

"Draco," Mum says with a harsh frown. "I'm sure you're thinking about the wrong time. There has to be a logical explanation for this, considering there's no way Isobelle could have gotten pregnant without-"

"Don't be a fool, Hermione," Dad scoffs. I can't look at Dad. I'm biting my lip to keep from crying. My eyes are stuck on the floor.

Mum stands. "Delphine, how would you like to go outside for a bit?" she questions. Delphine nods happily, climbing down from my lap to join Mum. Before leaving, Mum gives Dad a meaningful look, probably telling him it would be wrong to kill his pregnant daughter, no matter the reason.

Once the dining room door shuts, Dad looks up at me. I've never seen him look so infuriated and annoyed as he does now. "I'm going to ask you once, and only once. Are you carrying someone else's child?"

"No…" I say rigidly, still staring at the ground.

"You liar!" Dad shouts angrily, standing up. "How the hell could you do this?"

"I didn't mean to!" I cry, turning to look at Dad for the first time. He looks like he truly hates me.

"Someone took advantage of you, then?" He questions, his eyes dark. "Because honestly, that is the only way I could accept this!"

"No one did!" I promise him. If anyone took advantage of me, it was Simon and not Teddy. "I… it was an accident! I didn't mean to be pregnant!"

"Well, when you sleep around so carelessly, there's certainly a possibility!" Dad shouts. "Just what the hell are you going to do with a bastard child?"

I stare at Dad, my eyes clouded with tears. He must forget who he's speaking to. "Exactly what you did with me," I answer coldly.

Dad grabs my arm harder than Simon ever has. For a moment, I'm reminded eerily of him, and I'm bewildered my own father could be this way. His eyes bore into mine. "I wasn't married, Isobelle! I hadn't made any vows to anyone to love them, to be faithful to them, to throw it all away! You being a whore is nothing compared to what I did for you!"

"I am not a whore!" I shout. "You're hurting me!"

"Perhaps I should have hurt you more as a child, or done something more, and you wouldn't have turned out this way! I should have known, the way you always snuck around with Holden." Dad says Holden's name as if he's nothing more than trash. That's exactly how he's looking at me.

I can't believe Dad. "I was in love!"

"What are you going to do? You can't lie to Simon, especially if you have a son."

"You act as if I don't know that. Why should you care anyway? My children are my responsibility."

"And my children are mine!" Dad counters. "You don't understand the first thing about being a parent or being a wife! You're still as much of a child as you ever were! I pity Simon for being stuck in a marriage with you."

I won't let Dad's words hurt me. "Let go of me," I say, prying him away from my arm. "I pity myself for having a father as rude and inconsiderate as you. Any real parent would have never said any of the hurtful things to me that you have."

Dad laughs at me as if I'm a joke. "Any real parent wouldn't put their spouse in front of their child, or be so horribly drunk they couldn't care for them. Or perhaps if they are going to drink, they would be responsible enough to put their wand away where their child is unable to find it!" He rages.

"I admit I've made mistakes," I say calmly. "But please, don't bring Delphine into this."

"This isn't about anyone but you, as you like it, I'm sure," Dad says coldly. He shakes his head in nothing other than disgrace. "I can't stand to look at you."

I don't know what else to say. Of course, Dad has every right to be angry, but he's taking this too far. If he knew, if he just knew how cruel Simon was and how much Teddy loved me, I'm positive this would be much different.

"Dad-"

"Leave," he says, not even bothering to look at me. "And you aren't to come back until you've done something about that child."

"I can't do anything," I plead. "Dad, please!"

"Then with luck you'll miscarry," Dad says. He has no expression on his face, as if he's seeing right through me and I don't exist to him anymore. Even though I don't live here anymore, I'm still gutted that Dad is kicking me out. I don't exactly get along with my parents all the time nor do I have the best memories here, but Malfoy Manor is my home above any other place on the planet. It isn't only that, I know Dad won't speak to me either.

"Dad," I say again, trying to hold back my tears. It isn't working very well. He doesn't say anything else. "Fine," I mutter weakly, turning to leave the dining room. I walk down the halls, feeling more lonely than I ever have, allowing myself to cry a bit. Some of the portraits on the walls stare at me and whisper horrible things, but I can't be bothered.

I open the door to the garden. It's snowing lightly, and Delphine is playing in the yard Mum. I hate Mum for playing with Delphine, for being so loving and kind to her when she was never there with me. Mum looks up, noticing me, and her smile fades.

"Isobelle," she says with concern, crossing the yard with Delphine's hand in hers. "You need to put on a cloak, you already aren't feeling well."

I ignore her. A cloak isn't going to help anything. "Delphine, it's time to go home," I say quietly.

"I don't wanna go yet," Delphine protests, pouting. I swear I'm not in the mood to argue with her. I'll drag her out by her ankles if need be.

"Now," I say testily.

Mum frowns. "What's the matter?" she asks.

"I just want to go home."

"Well, if you'd like to do that, I can bring Delphine by later-"

"She's coming with me." If I'm not welcome here, neither is Delphine.

Delphine pouts, wiping snow off the front of her cloak. "Mummy, I want to play some more."

"We can play at home. We can do whatever you want to do at home. Come, now." I beckon for Delphine to come, and she does so, moving as slowly as she possibly can.

Mum purses her lips. "What did your father say to you?" She asks in a quiet tone so Delphine can't hear.

"Nothing."

"Isobelle," Mum frowns. "Obviously it was something. You were in such a good mood earlier." Actually, I wasn't. I've just become so good at faking it for the sake of Delphine.

"He said I have to leave," I admit in a small voice. "That he isn't going to accept this. He'll never forgive me."

Mum frowns. "Of course, you don't have to leave. Your father is angry, but we'll fix this, I promise. Right now," Mum says. I know she's rather good at changing Dad's mind on matters, but this isn't one of them.

"He isn't budging," I say simply, already having given up. I didn't expect any different.

"This absolutely won't do," Mum says seriously, already starting inside. "We're going to go talk to him. Come on."

Mum waves me on. I can't exactly let her fight my battle without me being there, so I follow her like a little child.

"What's going on?" Delphine asks in a whisper, looking up at me with curiosity.

Grandmother and Grandfather are going to have a conversation," I lie. More like a horrible argument. "How about you go up to my room and play. Would you like to do that?"

"I wanna play with the elves," Delphine says stubbornly. I don't understand why, but she has quite a fascination with the house-elves. Once, she accidentally set a couple of them free playing dress-up and Dad had to coax them into returning.

"Fine, love. But don't bother them if they're working." I can barely get the words out of my mouth before Delphine runs off.

Mum turns to look at me. I see disappointment in her eyes, although she's trying her best to hide it. "I'm not going to lie, I don't agree with what you've done either, but if Draco and I aren't there for you, no one else will be," Mum says sympathetically. "You're still my daughter and I still love you." I know she isn't happy, but there was a point where she was in my exact situation. She knows how I feel.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

Mum pushes open the doors to the dining room. I feel as if I'm going to vomit. Dad looks up. I don't think he's moved in the past five minutes. His eyes narrow when he sees me.

"Isobelle, you are not welcome here," Day says evenly. His jaw is clenched.

"Draco, how dare you say that to her?" Mum demands, sticking her fists on her hips. "She's your child!"

"She's no child of mine. Isobelle knows where I stand, and it's time you do too."

"I can't believe this!" Mum protests. I can. Dad isn't accepting. "Do you honestly think this is the best way to go about this? To show Isobelle that she has to be alone-"

"Yes!" Dad shouts, thoroughly, fed up. "Hermione, perhaps you fail to understand, but time after time we have given Isobelle chances! If she makes a mistake, we're the ones who have to fix it! She isn't responsible for any of her actions, and I refuse to let this continue any longer! From now on, whatever the hell happens to her has nothing at all to do with me!"

I would rather leave than hear anything Dad has to say about me. Right now, it isn't going to be anything pleasant.

"Be that as it may, I refuse to turn against her, especially at a time like this. I know you don't understand how hard it actually is to be pregnant with someone else's-"

"I don't understand?" Dad demands. His voice is so loud the house-elves flee. "I don't understand how difficult it is to raise an illegitimate child? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! Excuse me for not exactly being happy for your daughter's indiscretion."

Mum opens her mouth, and then closes it. She looks furious, but I know her better than to think she's going to start yelling back at Dad. She's much calmer and far more collected. "Punishing her won't change the fact that she's pregnant."

"I'm not punishing her," Dad says nonchalantly. "I won't give her even that much thought."

Mum looks at Dad with pure annoyance. "I can't believe you."

"I'd begin believing it if I were you. I'm not changing my mind."

I place my hand on Mum's arm. "It's not worth it," I mutter. I won't let her ruin her relationship with Dad because of me. "I'll be fine, really. Bye, Mum."

"You seriously aren't going to say anything to her, Draco?" Mum demands. Dad doesn't answer for a while.

"I've made my decision," he says with finality.

I turn and walk out of the dining room. I can hear Mum saying something else to Dad about how it's going to take her some time to get over this, and then her footsteps coming after me. I wish she would leave me alone and realize she doesn't have the power to change everything. She too damn determined.

"Isobelle," Mum says sincerely. "I don't care what your father says, you're welcome to be here any time you want."

I shake my head. "He's angry. I wouldn't put it past him to do anything irrational. Besides, why would I want to be here if I know he hates me?"

"He doesn't hate you," Mum protests. "He's disappointed, which is fair. I never thought he'd make you leave though-"

"Well, he did. Goodbye."

Mum throws her arms around me in a tight hug. "If there's anything you need, please tell me. Don't think you're alone because of this."

That's kind of Mum, but I truly am alone. Other than Scorpius and Teddy there isn't really anyone I can trust. They're kilometers away."

"I know," I lie, so that Mum will let me go. "I'm going to get Delphine."

"I'll talk to you father tonight. Don't think for one second that I'm going to allow him to do this to you," Mum assures me. I want to tell her to keep her mouth shut, that the situation isn't worth it nor am I. But I say nothing. I turn and walk up the stairs, toward the sound of Delphine's laugh. For a second I don't hear anything, and then Mum's footsteps begin to recede.

I don't know what it will take for Dad to speak to me again, if he ever will. He can hold a grudge better than anyone I know. I don't understand, he hated Mum for abandoning me yet wants me to do the same. I couldn't possibly. He's more worried about how the whole thing will look rather than my well-being. I wonder if Grandmother and Grandfather treated Dad this way when they found out about me.

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