chapter 42-51

Kellyo...dare we peek out?

i dunnos... everyone seems mad

oui but...this is the end :(

yea... but hey, at least we can say it's been fun right? i mean, with soap operas coming to an end, this was kinda like a fanfic soap... sorta.

lols, kinna...but it has been fun. Our second collab!

i know! yay! :D you know who prolly woulda had better writing, had she collabed? SMeyer - the lady that owns these characters.

Yeah...prolly would've been a lot citrus-y-er too :P

Definitely. She shoulda collabed with the chick who is doing the screenwriting for BD- the chick from Dexter.

ohhhh, right right! Although...it wouldn't have been as cool as ours :)

Definitely not. Lols. But hey! even though we got a ton of hate-reviews, we still appreciate the feedback so how about one more time? A review is worth a thousand words - even if it's only 50.

The very last time. And thanks so much for leaving them...we appreciate it :)

BPOV

I waited... and waited and James never showed. It was nearing 3:30 when I felt my phone vibrate.

Sorry babe got held up on a job. Hope you aren't still there. I'll stop by your place tonight when I'm on break. See you soon

Ugh, yeah let me go wait at home for him to come by and tell them that I was still set on us not getting back together. Oh, who was I kidding? Without even the possibility of Edward, what the fuck difference did it make if James and I got back together? I stood and shoved my phone back in my pocket. I reached over the seat to grab my bag and turned around, seeing Edward walking down the hall, head down.

Shit balls. I had to get out of there, fast. There was no way I was prepared to handle any explanation he had to give - assuming I'd even get one.

As if he could hear my fucking heart pounding, his eyes shot up and locked with mine. "Bella!" he yelled, picking up his pace and jogging down the hall towards me.

Fuck, I'd be caught. Fanfuckingtastic.

I stood there and let out an exaggerated breath, shifting my purse on my shoulder. "Hey Edward." I greeted as aloofly as I could.

"Listen, do you have a sec to talk really quick?"

I shook my head. "Nope sorry. I was just on my way out." I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm at my elbow. "Come on Bella, 5 minutes." My head turned back to look at him and I rolled my eyes shaking his hand off me. I shrugged and sighed, waving my arm to get his hand off me. It wasn't calming and soothing; now his touch was laced with fire and cynaid. It was poison.

I walked down the hall in search of an empty room. Five doors down, I found one and walked inside, pivoting to look at him arms crossed.

His eyes fell as he took in my defensive stance. "Bella, it's not true. None of it is true. I promise." He said, reaching his arm out for me.

I squirmed away, taking a step back. "Which part? Getting back together with Tanya and setting a date? Or you loving me?" I scoffed and looked up at the ceiling willing the tears near the surface not to spill over. "Edward, you do realize it's illegal to be married to two women, don't you?"

I heard and felt his movement as he stepped closer to me. "No, Bella... Baby... just you. You and me. That's it. No Tanya." My head dropped down to see him shaking his head. "Baby, she doesn't even figure into it any more."

I looked at him like, what the fuck. I mean really. "She definitely factors in if you set a date. Which evidently you did." I paused looking down at my hand and the engagement ring that was feeling heavier and heavier every minute. "Did you at least get in a good makeup fuck before you re popped the question?" I snapped, glaring up at him.

His head moved back as if what I was saying was completely absurd. "Bella, we didn't set a fucking date. When would I have had the time to do that? I was with you last night, fucking you. I was with you this morning before you left, and then I came to meet my mom and Rose. I'll call Tanya and figure this shit out, because I promise this was just as much of a shock to me as it was to you."

"I don't know... how about when I was telling James that I was cheating on him. That I was leaving him. That I knew I didn't love him anymore." I yelled, leaning forward a bit. "There were a few hours between there where it would have been really easy to smooth everything over. Did you do it because you thought I wasn't coming home to you, that I would really pick James over you?"

His forehead creased with lines and his body changed from one of apology to defensive and angered as he leaned towards me hands moving up into the air. "So what if I did? Bella, you went with him yesterday after we got home. You walked away, hand in hand with him. Maybe you fucked him in the car on the way home. Maybe you're just doing this to me to get me to fuck off."

"So you DID!" I yelled, unable to stop the silent tears from falling. "And how could you even say that about me Edward? I told you at the airport that I needed to do this right, that I needed to make sure he fucking got it through his skull that there was NO CHANCE of him and I getting back together. I love you, I want to be with YOU forever. Not James, not anyone else - YOU Edward fucking Cullen. I wanted to be your wife and raise a family with YOU. And you said you understood. So what, that was just a lie too?" I asked rhetorically. "Should have known, if there's one thing you're fucking good at it's lying to me."

"Thanks, Bella. That's awesome. Fucking throwing shit in my face." He sneered, taking yet another step closer and dropping his voice to a tone that was both quiet and biting. "I did what I thought was best at the time. Was it fucked up? Yes, but I will not take it back. I won't let you go. That's a fucking promise. Just forget Tanya, okay? I haven't fucked her, I don't want to fuck her and we certainly aren't getting married. How clear do I have to make it?"

"Does SHE know you two aren't getting married? Because it seemed pretty fucking clear that everyone except you was aware of the wedding - and me being there seems like a pretty good reason to feign ignorance to the topic."

"Fucking christ, Bella" He shouted frustratedly, turning and shoving his fist into the plaster wall. I jump back a bit, his reaction scaring me. "I don't fucking know what the hell is going through her head because I haven't spoken to her in weeks. Had you been there or not, I still wouldn't have known."

My eyes went wide and I didn't know what to say. My heart was pounding with hurt and anger and now fear. I never thought I'd be scared of Edward. "I don't believe you." I said, my voice weak and unsteady as I skirted around him walking towards the door.

EPOV

I couldn't believe how fucking thick she was being. She wouldn't even listen to me. I ran after her and grabbed her wrist and popping the lock on the door. I looked straight into her defiant eyes, for the first time, not completely sure what to do next.

"What the fuck do you want me to say? Hm? That I'm marrying her? What, Bella? Tell me what you want and you'll have it; just like always."

"No, not like always Edward. Because all I've ever wanted since I met you WAS you. And I've never had you, not fully, have I? Any chance we make for ourselves, you back out of." She wiggled out of my grasp and pulled away.

I sighed and kept my eyes on her. I had no idea how this was happening, but apparently it was. "Bella, you'll have me. You never lost me. What else do I have to say to make you believe me?"

"I don't know. You seem to be good at hiding things from me when you think it'll hurt our relationship. How do I know you're not doing it now?"

I sighed, "Because we're so fucking far beyond that point, it's ridiculous."

"So there's NO more secrets? Nothing you're not telling me?" She asked, looking at me skeptically.

I couldn't do it; I couldn't look at her, and say nothing. "There is something else. And I guess I should just tell you, since I'm fucked anyway." She was leaving, anyway. It was done.

"SEE! I knew it." She gasped, her breath coming out in pants. "You promised me there was NOTHING left to hide at the Lakehouse. You swore to me it was done, that we would have no more secrets."

I nodded, my voice dropping to a whisper. "I know. I'm sorry."

"No... sorry isn't enough anymore Edward." She replied.

I sighed, still looking at the floor. "I know."

"Here." She said. I looked up and she was sliding her ring off of her finger. No.

My breath hitched and I stepped away from her. "No, it's yours."

She shook her head and moved closer to me, still holding the ring out in front of her. "No, it's for you to give to your fiancee. And I'm - I'm not that girl anymore."

I took another step. "I... I bought it for you. It's yours. Whether or not we're getting married." My heart broke when I realized what was happening.

She shook her head adamant. "I can't keep this Edward. Please, just... take it." she said, her voice serious yet trembling with emotion.

I backed up to the door, "I can't. It... it belongs to you. Sell it, if you want."

"Edward, please." Her eyes closed, and the tension was radiating off of her. "Please, I can't... I don't want to keep this. It'll hurt too much to keep."

I shook my head, I could barely speak. "Sell it, then. Bella, please, keep it."

She grabbed my hand and dropped her ring in my palm. "Edward, you don't have to keep it yourself but you can't expect me to. You bought the ring. Just... give it to the next girl that comes along thinking you're the one." She said, brushing past me and walking out the door.

I was after her in two strides and spun her around quickly. I smashed my lips to hers forcefully and not in a loving, needy way. It was urgent and necessary. I couldn't let her go yet; I just couldn't. I pulled away slowly, my eyes closed as I leaned my forehead to hers. "I love you. You are the one."

Then I left.

I probably wouldn't see her again, but I'd be thinking of her always.

BPOV

I drove back to my apartment with a mixture of confusion, anger and just fucking GRRRRRR. Is that even an emotion? Well it fucking is now. Part of me wanted to turn around and go back to the hospital. I mean, what if Edward had been telling the truth and Tanya really was that insane? Then again, what kind of person WOULD be that insane? Of course he was lying! God I was going to give myself a fucking annurism. Maybe I was the insane one...

It was nearly 11 and I had spent the better part of 6 hours vegging out in front of my TV watching something... couldn't tell you what because my head was STILL reeling from Edward. I felt my phone buzz and pulled it out frantically flipping it open.

"Edward?" I gasped into the receiver.

"Haha no, hun. Just me." I heard James' voice echo sinisterly on the other end.

"Oh, hey." I replied into the receiver, trying not to sound disappointed.

"...Babe?"

"Hm? What?"

James chuckled into his phone. "I was asking why you seemed so anxious for it to be Edward."

"Oh, um..." Shit. Tell the truth, or not? "Actually," I sighed, realizing this was my shot to not wind up an old spinster. "Actually, he and I broke up today so I was wondering if it was him." I just left out the part where I was hoping it was him because I needed to hear I'd overreacted and that everything I'd found out today was bullshit and he was bringing Tanya over to prove it.

"Oh, well... I'd say I'm sorry but come on Bels, you had to know it was coming..." He trailed off continuing as he had the day before; as if he knew something I didn't. Fantastic. Paranoid Bella running amok again. I snapped out of it just as he was starting to talk again.

"Hey listen, are you home? Cuz I can be there in 5."

"Yea, I'm home... call me when you're outside."

"K, will do. See you in a few."

And true to his word, not even 5 minutes later I heard James honk - not call - from outside my apartment complex. I ran down in my pjs and a pair of flip flops, my hair in a floppy mess of a ponytail.

He unlocked the cab door and I hopped in. "Where's Laurent?" I asked peering around for his partner.

"Oh, he wanted to eat at the Arby's, to give us some time alone," He told me with a grin. I was not (rebound?) fucking James in the cab of an ambulance.

"Oh? Why, what's up?"

He moved closer to me and patted my knee. "You didn't even get dressed?"

"What?"

"Well, you didn't - never mind, it doesn't matter," He said brushing a few strands of hair out of my face.

His lips dusted over mine softly and I felt him smile. "You know I love you Bells."

"Yea, I know..." I said as he pulled away staring into my eyes.

"And I think I figured out how to fix us. Especially now that, that douche is out of the fucking picture."

I leaned back a bit, taken by surprise and choking down the protectiveness that encouraged me to defend Edward. "What?"

"Well, one of our biggest problems is that we don't see each other enough right?"

"Sure, yeah, I guess. Yeah."

He reached into his pocket pulling out something shiny. A key.

"What is this?" I asked as he dangled it between us.

"A key Bells, obviously." He stated, chuckling to himself as if it were obvious.

"No shit, sherlock. To what?" I snapped back, watching it dangle from the keyring.

"My apartment. I think we should move in together - if you want to that is."

"What?" I asked in complete disbelief.

"Well this is a key to my place, but I can move into yours or we can find somewhere new. All that matters is that it's ours."

I stared at him in utter shock.

"So? How bout it Bells? Are you ready to really commit?"

I ignored the fact that the pot was calling the kettle black and let my lips curled up into a slow (but hesitant) smile. I had to move on, I had to still go through the motions of life, even if I did them from now on without emotions.

My mouth pressed against James' and I nodded as I continued to kiss him trying to feel even a flicker of the love and passion I had for Edward, in his lips. I broke away slowly and grabbed the key. "New apartment, and definitely."

EPOV

I raced home, and thank fucking god Tanya was home. I threw open the door, not really caring if I saw James' naked ass running through the back yard.

"TANYA!" I called, going into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"What's up, sweetie?" She came into the kitchen dressed in a fucking robe. Sweetie my ass.

"Why the hell would you tell my mother that we set a date?"

Her jaw dropped and I just stared at her. She had fucked up my shit and I was over it. "I... I... thought that's what you wanted."

"I wanted to be done with you! I thought you realized that when I fucking broke up with you!"

"I didn't think you'd care!" She yelled, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "You... you always just said you wanted to do it, so I did! I thought you'd be happy..."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I would have been if you'd done this years ago. I would have been happy if I loved you any more. I would have been happy if I even wanted to marry you."

She sniffed again, putting her arms around her torso. "I'm sorry."

I pushed off the counter and walked to the door. "Too late."

"Edward! Edward, please!" She called after me. "There has to be something I could say."

I turned, looking back at her sad eyes and for the first time in a long time I felt numb. "No, there's nothing. Just leave me alone."

And I left. I walked away from seven years of work, pain, love, sex, laughs, fights... and I didn't regret it. The only thing I wanted was to have Bella back.

But I couldn't. And I knew it was my fault.

I got back in the volvo and somehow I ended up at my mom's. I didn't even get a chance to knock. "Sweetheart?"

I started breathing heavily. "It's over. All of it. It's over."

She sighed, holding her arms out to me. "It'll be okay, love."

I pushed my face into her neck, feeling more and more like a terrified little boy. "No, it won't. Nothing... nothing will mean anything without Bella."

I felt her head drop to rest against mine as her hands rubbed over my back. "It will work out, Baby. You'll see. You deserve to be happy."

"Not any more. Not after what I've done."

"Yes, Baby. Everyone. Even after whatever it is that you've done."

I sighed, feeling the tears leak from my eyes.

I didn't.

But I wanted Bella.

And I was ready to do anything to get her back.