Summary: For Mika, life is a constant struggle for survival. After some very unfortunate situations, she has isolated herself and is dangerously close to losing her sanity. That is, until she meets Kurama who turns her life upside down. But things begin to get out of control when it is discovered that she could have a strange connection to a mysterious legendary force that could be plotting a major takeover of all three worlds! Could her misery be nothing more that a cruel twist of fate or is this all connected to something even bigger?
Disclaimer: Hahaha, I wished I owned Yu Yu Hakusho! I'd be filthy stinkin' rich and I wouldn't be sitting here writing for you all. Aren't you happy I don't own it? Hahahaha! ;)
Angel's Cry
Chapter 10
"Beautiful"
"Mika! Welcome home!"
It was two weeks later after the panic attack that Mika was finally released from the hospital. She had her arms folded tightly across her chest, and her lips pressed together in a frown as she entered the house. Kurama was right behind her, carrying her backpack with a wide smile on his face. Everyone was gathered in the living room to welcome her home.
"You've gained weight!" Botan squealed as she looked Mika up and down, "You look good!"
"Ummm... Botan..." Kuwabara said as he cringed away from the deadly look on Mika's face.
Botan turned to smile at him, "Yes?"
"Its fine," Mika hissed as she approached Kurama. She held out her hand, "Can I have my stuff? I need to unpack."
Kurama frowned at her rudeness but Mika's expression was as solid stone. With a sigh, he handed her the backpack, and she disappeared up the stairs in a hurry.
"What's wrong with her?" Botan questioned, her lips turning down into a confused frown. "I didn't say anything stupid, did I?"
"When don't you ever say anything stupid?" Hiei rolled his eyes and glared at her from his perch on the windowsill.
"You basically just told her she looked fat!" Yusuke added.
"Shut up, Hiei! And no, I didn't!" she defended herself, "I just said she gained weight! It's a good thing!"
"It is, Botan. But we have to be very careful around her," Kurama said as he went to take a seat on the couch. "She's still very sensitive about her weight."
"I feel awful," she frowned, "Maybe I should go apologize?"
"No, just leave her alone for a while." Kuwabara suggested as he took a seat beside the fox, "She'll come around."
"I sure hope so..." she sighed, "I really hope she didn't take it the wrong way."
"Its okay, Botan," Kurama smiled at her, "Just be careful from now on."
The deity nodded stiffly. She reached into her pockets and pulled out a pink envelope. "Could you give this to her? It's a get-well-soon card from me and the girls. Tell her they said 'hello'."
Yusuke snatched the envelope from Botan, "Will do!"
"Alright, well, I've got to get out of here," she sighed as her oar appeared in her hands, "So much to do, so little time!"
Everyone said their goodbyes before they all went their own separate ways. Hiei disappeared through the back door to the garden. Kuwabara stalked off to the kitchen in search of something to eat. Yusuke tossed Kurama the card before he headed upstairs to his room.
I should give her sometime to cool off, Kurama thought. He let out a sigh as he made himself comfortable on the couch. She's probably still angry with me.
He opened the book that he had left on the coffee table before he had left and began to read. It was a few minutes later when he was fully absorbed into the story when he could hear someone calling for his attention. He let out a sigh of annoyance and turned towards the godforsaken distraction.
"Kurama!"
Yusuke was stomping noisily down the stairs in a hurry. His face was twisted with worry and urgency as he made his way to the couch.
"What's wrong, Yusuke?"
"It's Mika... I could hear her throwing stuff around in her room. She's really mad and I think she's... crying," he shifted his weight from side to side looking very awkward and uncomfortable, "I'm not good with tears, so I didn't... and you're closer to her, so maybe you should..."
"Don't worry," Kurama didn't wait for his friend to finish; he was already on his feet and heading for the stairs. "I've got it."
"Oh, thank the good Lord!" Yusuke sighed before he collapsed on the couch, "You're a saint, Kurama."
"I wish."
~.~.~.~.~
Mika fell facedown on her bed, sobbing heavily. Botan's words had cut her like a sharpened knife straight to the heart. She knew that her friend didn't mean it the way that it had come out, but that didn't stop from hurting.
The long stay at the hospital was horrible. She was constantly being visited and examined by her worst nightmare. She had no control over herself. She was robbed of her own freewill during her hospitalization. Everywhere she went she was escorted and she was constantly under the supervision of a trained nurse who, if she felt it was needed, could pull out her little needle and put her 'to sleep' for a little while. She didn't have the choice whether she wanted to eat or not; she was tube fed. And once a day, she had to sit and talk about her 'feelings' to this woman so that they could tell her exactly why she was crazy.
First of all, why the hell should she open up and tell some woman that she didn't even know about her crappy life? And second of all, Mika knew she was crazy! She didn't need some bitch to sit there, staring at her behind her glasses like she was some interesting exhibit at the fucking zoo, and write down everything she had to say.
Mika let out an angry growl at the memory and rolled over onto her back. The tears that trickled down her cheeks came faster now as a swell of emotion pushed her over the edge. She had never felt so sad yet so furious at the same time.
"Mika?"
There was a knock at her door, and she immediately knew who it was.
"Go away, Kurama."
"Are you crying?"
"No," she lied as she gritted her teeth together and wrinkled her nose.
"Yes, you are. Mika please let me in. Talk to me."
"I said, go away!"
"Please, let's just talk," he continued, "It'll make you feel better."
"I don't want to talk to you, or to anyone. Talking only makes it worse! I don't need anyone, and I certainly don't need you. I just want to be alone!"
It was silent for a moment before she could hear a deep sigh and footsteps.
Good, she thought as she turned over and buried her face in the comforter, you should feel guilty, Kurama. It's all your fault.
She could hear a small voice in her head questioning her, and she growled at her conscience.
Of course it's his fault, she insisted, I was so happy that night. I was finally forgetting everything bit by bit until he had to bring this up. I hate him.
But why is that?
I hate him because... because he's forcing me to face my past. I don't want to remember. I just want to forget. I just want everything that has ever happened to fade away. Yet he's forcing me to face it all. Just the thought of hospitals brings back memories. And memories are connected. Everything is fresh in my mind now. Every scar has opened back up. And I just can't... I just can't help being angry with him. I just can't put my feelings into words, not even into coherent thoughts... I just... I don't know what I feel. I don't know what I want.
Do you?
I feel so betrayed... and I feel so sad... yet I feel so angry at the same time. I just hate everything that's happened. I can't let it go. I just can't. Why shouldn't I have the right to be mad? Why shouldn't I take it out on other people when the world has taken everything out on me? I want to hate him. I just don't want to feel all this sadness. I just don't want to hurt anymore.
Admit it to yourself.
I just want someone to help me. I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to have to face everything by myself. I want to trust again. I want to let someone in. I want to get better. I don't want to feel so empty anymore... I just want to be whole.
I just... I just want to be loved.
Mika could feel the tears running down her cheeks leaving hot itchy trails. She curled inward, and she wrapped her arms around her quivering body as low broken sobs escaped her chest.
She could hear the loud creak of her door swinging open, and a quiet voice call out her name softly. She turned to see Kurama kneeling before her door. There was a credit card in his hand, and he stood up and shoved it into his pocket. His eyes were flooded with concern and sympathy, and his lips twisted up into a wistful half smile as he shook his head. She stared up at him pathetically with tearful eyes, her body quivering, and her lips trembling.
Kurama's bright emerald eyes scanned over her face. He crossed the small bedroom with two long strides. He sat down beside her on the bed and spread his arms wide in welcome, "Come here."
She immediately moved to him and wrapped her bony arms around him. He enclosed her in his arms in a tight embrace, and she began to sob heavily into his chest. He laid his head on top of hers.
"Kurama, w-why?"
He had to strain to understand, "Why what?"
"Why does it have to hurt so much?"
Kurama let out a deep sigh as he began to run his fingers through her long hair, "I don't know. But I do know that it'll get better."
"How do you know?" she choked out quietly.
"You just have to trust me."
She didn't respond as she continued to cry into his chest. He continued to whisper soothing words into her ear, and rub her back. They sat there for what felt like forever. And then eventually the deep sobbing became nothing more than quiet sniffles.
"Are you alright now?" he questioned as he looked down at her.
Her face was still buried into his wet chest, and her grip on his shirt weakened slightly. She was silent for a while before she finally responded.
"I don't know," she sighed, "I just... I don't know what to think anymore..."
"Mika, what's happened to you?"
Kurama could feel her body tense. He waited for her to speak, and when she wouldn't he continued on.
"It's going to keep on eating at you until there's nothing left. I can see that something is hurting you deeply. I want to help you, Mika. I only want for you to be happy and healthy. That's why I wanted you to go to the doctor. If you won't talk to anyone else then, please, talk to me. Let me in; let me help you, Mika."
They were silent for a couple of minutes as Mika seemed to weigh her choices. She began to speak in a hesitant voice.
"You know what, Kurama?" she said slowly as she lifted her head to look up at him. Her amber eyes were bloodshot and puffy; her face was bright red. "Yesterday... when I told you that I hated you..."
Kurama looked down at her with his emerald gaze intensely.
"I really did mean it...at the moment..."
"Why?" She lowered her head, but he caught her beneath the chin with his fingers and raised her gaze so that it was leveled with his. "Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I need to know."
"To me... it feels like you've given me so much, yet yesterday you took everything from me. You've given me a place to stay, friends, and hope... This might not make any sense to you but... not eating... it has always made me feel like I at least had some control of something in my life."
"Go on," he urged when she began to slow down and eye him nervously, "I promised I'd listen."
She took a deep breath. "I've never felt like I was in control of my life... If I was, things would be so much different than they are. So being able to control myself and what I eat and what I do has always made me feel good about myself. My self-control is what I value most. It's the only thing I'm good at."
"That's not true," he protested.
"How would you know, Kurama? We barely know each other," she sighed as she leaned her head against his chest, "I'm not smart. I'm not talented. I'm not very pretty, either. I'm sure you think that I'm doing this because of looks. But that's not really it. I mean, I do wish I was prettier; I'm sure every girl in this world does. But it's not exactly about how I look, it's not exactly about how skinny I am, and it's not exactly about how much I weigh. I don't want to show off my body; it's not much to look at anyway. It's more about my self-control because if I have self-control I know I'll be able to live to see tomorrow.
"You say you want me to be 'normal'. But what does that word mean anyway? Everyone is different. Everyone worries about something, and they do something to make themselves feel better---whether it's drinking, taking drugs, or even talking to a friend. How is controlling myself and the way I eat any different? I'm making myself feel better. And when I resist temptation it makes me feel good about myself, Kurama. It doesn't make sense but... it makes me feel like a good person, like I'm strong. Almost like, I've done something right for the first time in my life. Do you know how hard it was to spit out that ice cream that one night? Or not to drink that hot chocolate Yukina gave me? But I did it, and I felt good about myself because I was strong. I wasn't weak like I always am. I was proud of myself. Please don't try to take those good feelings away from me. Because they're all I have to hold onto."
Kurama squeezed Mika tighter to his chest. "I didn't know you felt that way, Mika... and I'm so sorry for everything."
Mika sniffed again as tears pricked up in her eyes, "Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this. Sometimes I think about what I'm doing to myself, but it's a fight between my head and my body. I know I have to change, but those changes have to come from within me and that's scary. I don't think I can do it. I don't ever think I could stop if I really wanted to. I can't see myself in the future stopping or being any different. Sometimes I even wonder if I have a future. I shouldn't even exist..."
"Don't say that!"
"Why not?" Her voice was filled with disgust. "I'm nothing but a worthless piece of shit. Everyone has said it before; everyone thinks it. If that weren't the case, then why would my parents tell me that everyday of my life and kick me out of the house? Why would Taro just use me for my body? It's why Katashi...it's why he left me. It's true. If I was worth anything, then they would care for me. They'd love me. They wouldn't have left me all alone to suffer."
Kurama squeezed her tighter. She was quivering in his arms, her breath coming out in broken sobs.
"Y'know, sometimes I just want to fly away. Just leave everything behind. I just don't want to feel anything anymore. I just... I just want to be happy, Kurama. That's all I want. I want to get better. I want to be a good person. I just don't want to hurt anymore and I just want to be happy! That's all I really want. I don't care if I'm not pretty. I don't care if I'm not rich. I don't care if I wind up alone for the rest of my life. I just want the pain to go away."
She wrapped her arms around Kurama tighter and squeezed him to her for dear life.
"Kurama, I promise that I'll try to change. Please, just don't leave me like everyone else. I couldn't bear it. Don't leave me behind. Don't forget about me. Please help me. I want to get better. I'll do anything. Just please help me!"
"Shhh," Kurama tried to soothe the hysterical woman. He rubbed his hand in circles on her back and rocked them side-to-side in an effort to calm her. "It's alright, Mika. Just let it all out. I'll be here for you; I won't leave you."
"Promise me..."
"I promise."
"Cross your heart and hope to die?"
He chuckled slightly as he moved one hand to her hair to stroke it, "Cross my heart and hope to die. And if I break my promise, I deserve a very painful death."
Mika let out a broken laugh against his chest. He smiled at that and continued to run his hand through her hair and rock them. She calmed down a few minutes later, her sobs slowly ceased. She was eventually breathing in and out deeply.
"Are you alright now?" he questioned as he tilted his head so he could get a look at her face.
"Yes... thank you," she looked up at him with her puffy eyes and nodded slightly. She sniffled before she let out a yawn before she rest her head on her chest again. He laughed.
"Comfortable?"
She peered up at him with a shy smile, "Yes."
He let out a laugh as he leaned back so that his back was propped up on the headboard. He shifted around so that they could both get comfortable.
"I'm so tired..." she let out a sigh as she closed her eyes.
"I'm not surprised," he said, "You've had a long week. And all that crying must've worn you out. You big crybaby," he teased.
"That's not nice."
"I never did say I was."
"Well, you are though," she said quietly, "and for that I thank you."
"You're welcome."
They fell into a comfortable silence. The room was completely silent except for the soothing sounds of their deep breathing. Kurama wrapped his arms around Mika, and he closed his eyes as his thoughts swirled in his head like a flurry of disgruntled wasps.
He couldn't exactly comprehend her feelings. He wondered what it would feel like to have someone he loved, his own mother, say all those horrible things to him. How would he feel if his mother treated him as badly as these people had treated her? He knew it would hurt badly. He loved his mother more than anything in the world. But he had never experienced a true loss of her love. Sure, she had been angry with him a couple times---especially when he still was a horrible child---but she had never been furious at him. She never said horrible things to him. She never mistreated him. She loved him, that's all he knew. He couldn't empathize; but he could sympathize.
"Mika? Are you awake?" he questioned softly, as he looked down at the still woman in his arms.
She didn't respond. Her eyes were closed and her breathing came out in deep even breaths. With a ghost of a smile, he picked her up as he stood up from the bed before he laid her down again, covering her sleeping form with the sheets.
He looked around the destroyed room and sighed deeply before he went to work, picking up random articles of clothing and objects that she had tossed around in her furious fit. He was nearly done cleaning when something bright and yellow caught his eye. He approached the desk, bent down, and picked up the legal pad from the floor. He briefly scanned over the page as he set it down, when a sentence written in big bold letters caught his eye.
I HATE MYSELF.
Curious, Kurama took a seat in the chair as he read through the words scribbled on the page. His eyes flashed over to his sleeping friend a few times while he read. He shook his head when he had finally seen enough. He ripped the sheet from the pad, crumpled it in his hand, and tossed it into the wire trash bin beside the desk.
This is awful, he thought as he leaned his head against his fist, she thinks so lowly of herself. It seems that she has no confidence in herself whatsoever. What can I do to help her? What can I do to make her feel better?
His eyes wandered around the room as he thought when his eyes spotted a magazine lying on the floor.
Botan probably left this here, he thought with a sigh, and he stood to put it up when he took a look at the cover.
The woman on the cover stared back at him with a bright smile. She was gorgeous. Not a single hair of her glossy raven mane was out of place. Her cheeks were a flushed pink and her skin seemed to glow from the inside. Her dark eyes crinkled at the corners revealing that the bright smile on her face was true.
She was the image of happiness.
Kurama turned to look once more at the sleeping woman before he walked towards the door, flicked off the lights, and closed the door behind him.
I've got it.
~.~.~.~.~
"Kurama, can you at least tell us what the note said?"
The atmosphere in the living room was tense. Everyone's eyes were on the redheaded fox that stood before his friends, his arms crossed tightly across his chest.
"I'm sorry, Botan," Kurama apologized, "but I don't think that's a good idea. It's her personal thoughts."
"But you read it!" Yusuke protested.
"I know," he sighed, "and it was wrong of me to do so. But what's done is done."
"So, basically what you're saying is that," Shizuru paused as she thought, "Mika's self-confidence could use a mega boost?"
"Yes."
Shizuru's face broke into a grin, "Courtesy of us girls?"
"Yes. That is if you all don't mind."
"We don't mind!" Keiko chirped, "Of course not!"
"Mika is a friend," Yukina smiled, "We'll do anything it takes to help her!"
"Yeah!" Botan chimed in as she jumped up. "This is gonna be so much fun!"
"Once we're done working our magic, Mika will feel like a million bucks." Shizuru smirked as she folded her arms across her chest.
Kurama smiled, "That's what I was hoping to hear."
~.~.~.~.~
"Shhh! You'll wake her!"
Giggles.
Mika let out a groan as hushed whispers rang in her ears. She forced her tired eyes open and looked around her room.
"Uh oh!"
"Busted!"
"Botan? Keiko?" Mika yawned as she spotted the two girls carrying armfuls of clothes out of her closet. "W-What are you two doing?"
"U-Ummm.... taking all your clothes to the drycleaners!" Botan responded.
She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, "Why?"
"Because these clothes need to be cleaned and they're very veeery delicate!" Keiko responded.
"But," Mika's eyebrows collided in confusion, "I haven't even worn those yet!"
"WHAT?" Botan slapped her hand to her heart as if she had been insulted, "You haven't worn this dress yet!?! Or this shirt? Or this skirt? Mika, how could you?"
"Ummm... I'm sorry?"
"No way!" Botan continued, "I brought these especially for you! These were made for you!"
"I'll wear them... eventually."
The deity let out an irritated sigh and shook her head in annoyance, "Whatever you say, Mika."
"What are you all doing in my room?" she questioned again, "You can put my clothes back. They're not dirty. Besides, why wouldn't you just ask instead of trying to sneak in?"
"Ummm... well, you looked so peaceful we didn't want to wake you up." Keiko said, "And, we can't put the clothes back just yet..."
"Why not?"
"Ummm..."
"You guys, what's going on?" she inquired as suspicion started to sink in, "What are you hiding from me?"
"Nothing! Just go back to sleep! You're dreaming!" Botan said before she began to sing, "Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop..."
"I am not dreaming," she said as she stood up, "and I'm going to figure out what you two are up to."
"No! Wait, Mika!"
Keiko and Botan dropped the piles of clothes in their arms and jumped for the silver haired woman, but she was much too fast. She zoomed past them and out the door and flew down the hall.
"Mika, wait! It's not done yet!" Keiko, who was hot on her heels, yelled.
But it was too late. She had already bounded down the staircase and stopped dead in her tracks.
"W-What in the world...?"
The living room had been transformed---in a way. The couches and the low table had been pushed out of the way and were against the furthest wall away from the stairs. Yukina and Shizuru were gathered around the table; their backs were to her as they chattered busily. Bright green paper decorated the floor and the wall opposite the furniture. Kurama was smoothing out the paper on the walls in a hurry while Hiei helped with a reluctant look on his face. A shiny camera, which Kuwabara was messing with, sat on top of a tripod. Two blinding lights that looked like umbrellas were pointed at the green wall. Yusuke was kneeling at the bottom of a third one connecting the plugs.
"What are you guys doing?"
Everyone's head swiveled around in the direction of her voice; each one wearing the same shocked looked that screamed "BUSTED!". Kurama was the first to recover as he swept over to her. He smiled as he stood in front of her in a weak effort to block her view and draw her attention to him.
"You've got to wait and see," he said simply as he, with the help of Keiko and Botan, attempted to lead her out of the room.
She tore away from them as she continued forward. "What is all this?"
"Awww, she's already seen it. Might as well tell her." Yusuke sighed as he straightened up. He rubbed his hands together as he examined his work, "That ought to do it."
"We didn't think it would take so long," Kurama sighed, "We thought that we'd finish before you woke up."
"'Cuz you sleep for a looong time, Mika. It's like you go into hibernation mode!" Kuwabara guffawed as he fumbled with the camera before placing it on top of its rightful spot on the tripod.
"I told you idiots this was a waste of time." Hiei hissed.
"What's a waste of time?" Mika turned to look at Kurama, who was currently avoiding her gaze, and demanded, "What's going on?"
"Please don't spoil the surprise, Mika. We went through a lot of trouble to do this for you," he sighed.
"Yeah, so don't kick up a fuss, alright? I had to hustle that guy down at the photography studio to get these lights," Yusuke pointed out.
Mika frowned at everyone as she folded her arms across her chest tightly. What in the world were they talking about? What did they have up their sleeves?
"C'mon, Mika dear!" [1] Yukina chirped happily as she took her by the hand and began to lead her back to the stairwell. "We've got a lot of work to do."
Mika allowed herself to be led away, to the relief of everyone, and followed Yukina up the stairs. Shizuru, Kieko, and Botan were right behind them, each of the carrying plastic bags which looked pretty heavy.
"What work?"
"Well, we've noticed you've been feeling pretty down..." Keiko started.
"So, we're giving you a makeover..." Botan added happily.
"To the extreme." Shizuru finished with a smirk.
Oh shit...
~.~.~.~.~
Kurama was sitting on the couch, struggling to keep his heavy eyes open. He and the boys had been sitting patiently downstairs for four hours waiting for the girls to finish with their makeover. At times they could hear Mika protesting loudly or screaming in what seemed like such pain that caused Kurama to thank his lucky stars that he was not a girl.
He had went up there once to see what all the screaming was about but was shooed away by an angry Shizuru who balanced a small pot of hot wax on one hand and had a pair of tweezers and a damp hand towel in the other. He could hear a loud ripping sound echoing from Mika's bedroom as well as her cries for help. Shizuru explained to him that they were just waxing Mika's eyebrows to 'shape' them before they plucked to 'find the right arch.' He had left in a confused hurry as the other angry girls joined Shizuru to help shoo him away. He understood waxing eyebrows. But 'finding the arch?' What the hell did that mean?
Whatever it takes, he thought as he let out a yawn, I promised to help you.
He looked over at Kuwabara who was snoring, and then at Yusuke who was glaring at the redheaded teenager beside him. He watched as Yusuke punched Kuwabara in the side of the head causing him to jump up in shock.
"Wake up, doofus. You're snoring my ear off!" Yusuke growled angrily, "And you're drooling all over the goddamn place!"
Hiei snickered slightly from his perch on the windowsill, "Dumbass."
Kuwabara rolled his eyes as he wiped his chin on his sleeve before he sat up. His eyes were slightly glossed over with sleep and his afro was even more messy than usual.
"Damn! This is boring!" the brunette complained as he stretched out, "What's taking them so long up there? I've got to get those lights back downtown!"
"Oh, stop complaining, Yusuke."
Keiko was coming down the stairs with the other girls, excluding Mika, following behind her.
"We're finished!" Botan bounced up and down cheerily as she sang.
The girls arranged themselves around the staircase, no doubt to perform Mika's grand entrance, and the boys sat up straight in their seats to watch. Kurama leaned forward, his lips twisting into a smile. He was so excited, he couldn't help himself. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he stared anxiously at the top of the stairs.
What is wrong with me? He thought to himself as Yusuke stared strangely at him. Why am I getting so excited?
"You've got music set up, Yukina?" Shizuru questioned.
Yukina nodded from her position by the stereo. Botan's iPod was plugged up and ready to go.
"Que the music!"
The grand notes of a sweeping orchestral song began to float through the room as Shizuru, Keiko, and Botan held their arms out like game show hostesses.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Girls and Hiei," Shizuru began.
Hiei glared dangerously at the eldest Kuwabara sibling, "I am NOT a child!"
"Relax, Hiei. I'm just poking some fun at you." Shizuru teased.
"Poke more fun at me, and I'll stab you in the eye with your own finger, bitch."
Shizuru made a face at him and rolled her eyes before she started over. "Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys..."
"We'd like to introduce to you..." Keiko continued.
"The new and improved..." Botan joined in.
"MIKA..." they all shouted.
"And we don't know her last name!" Shizuru added.
Everyone glanced at the top of the stairs as they waited for this 'new and improved' Mika to make her entrance. An awkward silence filled the room, the music still playing softly in the background, as everyone waited for Mika to appear at the top of the stairs.
"Wait, now?" Mika's voice floated down from somewhere above.
"Yes, now, Mika!" Botan sighed. "Restart the music, Yukina. We've got to start all over!"
"No, it's fine."
Kurama turned his attention away from Botan to see a familiar silver haired woman walking down the stairs. She had her head down preventing anyone from looking at her face. She was staring intently at her feet as she carefully made her way down the stairs.
"I didn't want a grand entrance anyway," she added as she stumbled across the room in her high heels. "I didn't even want a makeover."
"Mika, lift your head up so everyone can see!" Botan said as she clapped her hands together excitedly.
Mika let out a sigh before she lifted her head to look at the boys. What Kurama saw made his heart stop.
"Holy shit!" Yusuke yelled as he squinted to get a better look at her face.
"Are you sure that's Mika?" Kuwabara questioned right after he let out a loud wolf whistle, "Wow, who'd have thought it?"
Kurama couldn't believe his eyes. She looked so familiar, yet so different at the same time. He recognized her familiar features: the small, yet slightly upturned nose; the oval shaped face; her almond shaped eyes which turned down just the slightest at the outer corners. But after the makeover, he noticed the dramatic changes in her appearance. Her long silvery locks that had reached to her lower back had been chopped off. Her gently waved hair brushed just an inch below her shoulder blades. The strands which were once dull and frizzy were now shiny and as smooth as glass. Her eyebrows which had been wild and untamed where now smoothed and arched in a way that drew attention to her dark eyes. The dark purple bags that had gathered beneath her eyes had vanished, courtesy of Botan's makeup expertise, and her skin had a healthy glow to it. Her cheeks were flushed a light pink, and her current blush made her once pasty skin seem like a distant fuzzy memory. Her lips that had been chapped were smooth and shiny. All in all, it was the same Mika....
and she was beautiful.
Mika's face turned and even brighter red as she shifted uncomfortably as she took in all the stares. Her hands were clutched around the bottom of her skirt almost as if she were trying to prevent it from blowing up.
"I've always seen potential in you, Mika," Shizuru smiled as she stepped forward and ran her hands through her friend's hair. "I've wanted to do something about it, but you wouldn't let us at the sleepover. My dream has been fulfilled and my work is now completed! You look amazing."
"I'll say!" Yusuke laughed loudly as he smacked Kurama on the back, "Looks like we'll have to be working hard to keep those guys away from you. Right, Kurama?"
Kurama and Mika's face went bright red at Yusuke's comment.
"Oh, shut up!" Mika frowned causing Yusuke to laugh even more.
Botan smiled as she examined Mika's blushing face, "You know what? She actually looks like this woman in a painting that I've seen."
"Oh really?" Keiko chirped, "Where'd you see it?"
"I saw it in Spirit World," Botan nodded to herself, "Yeah! It's hanging in the Spirit World Library! It's a picture of an angel!"
Yukina sighed, "I've only seen an angel once. She was so pretty! And so kind too!"
"Wow!" Keiko sighed, "That's amazing!"
"Hey, enough chitchat, ladies." Yusuke interrupted as he walked towards the green-papered wall. "Let's get this show on the road. I've got to get these lights back before nine."
"What are we doing?" Mika questioned as she followed her crowd of friends.
Yukina's lips curled into a sweet smile, "We're going to take pictures, Mika!"
"Pictures?"
Shizuru grinned, "You look like a model! And models take pictures. So that means you are taking pictures!"
"But I really don't---"
"It'll be fun!" Botan said as she stepped onto the green papered floor with Mika.
"Yeah, so stop worrying!" Keiko added.
Mika let out a large sigh as she realized that nothing she said would make them change their minds. She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned as she looked around herself.
"What's with the paper?" she questioned curiously.
"Our homemade green screen!" Yusuke grinned proudly from his position behind the camera. "I never really thought I'd get a chance to try it, but now I can!"
"What's a green screen?"
Yusuke scratched his head, "You can go look it up online later. But we need to take these pictures so I can return this."
She let out another sigh as Botan and Keiko pushed her in front the camera before they ran to stand with everyone else who stood there watching with giant smiles.
"Alright! I'll be your modeling coach!" Botan smiled, as she moved so that Mika could see her clearly. "Ready? Do what I do, ok?"
"Ummm... okay?"
~.~.~.~.~
"I am done yet?" Mika sighed as she moved into another pose.
"No, not yet!" Botan said over the click of the camera's shutter.
Mika let out an irritated sigh as she twisted her body to mimic Botan's.
"We've been doing this for thirty minutes," she complained, "Why can't I just do a regular picture? Y'know, just stand there and smile?"
"Because you are a model!" Shizuru said with a grin.
"Yeah! You have to pose! It's what models do!" Keiko chimed in.
"But I'm not a model, you guys." Mika sighed as she straightened up after another click of the camera. She folded her arms tightly across her chest and frowned. "No more pictures."
"Awww! Mika, c'mon!!!" Botan yelled, her features twisted up with disappointment.
"No."
"Just a few more? Pretty pretty pretty please?"
Mika let out a sigh. "Only one more. But no posing."
"Okay," Botan agreed grudgingly. "Group picture, then!"
"But who will take it if you're all in the picture with me?" Mika questioned as she watched her friends all bustle around and into the shoot noisily.
"Don't worry your pretty little head off," Yusuke rolled his eyes as he set the self-timer, "Just stand there and smile."
"Alright," she said as everyone arranged themselves around her.
"Wait! Kurama should be beside Mika!" Botan said as she grabbed Kurama by the arm and dragged him from the back to the front.
Both Mika and Kurama's face went bright red when Botan put his arm around her waist. An evil grin was on the deity's face as she backed away from them to return to her spot beside Keiko.
Kurama shifted to remove his arm when Botan said, "Don't you dare!"
"Why?"
"Models should always have a hot guy on their arm," Shizuru added slyly.
"But---" Mika started but she was cut off.
"Everyone ready?" Yusuke yelled as he pressed a button on the camera before he ran to join the group.
"Smile, everyone!"
~.~.~.~.~
"These pictures turned out great, Mika," Botan said as she flipped through the stack before she passed it to Yusuke, "I love the background, it's so cute!"
Mika wrinkled her nose at the bright pink background that the girls had insisted putting behind her in the pictures. She shook her head as she curled up on the couch with the quilt that Kurama gave her.
"I'm glad that they pictures turned out good," Yukina smiled as she looked over Yusuke's shoulder at the Polaroid. "You look so pretty, Mika dear! You should really model."
Mika forced a smile at Yukina before she closed her eyes and let out a fake yawn. Hopefully, everyone would take the hint that she was tired and that they should leave.
The excited chatter and passing of the photos continued for a few more minutes before Yusuke stood up and stretched her arms with a yawn, "Well, I've gotta get these lights back downtown."
Keiko was the next to stand up, "I should be going as well. I promised my parents that I would help out at the restaurant tomorrow morning."
"I guess this party's over," Shizuru sighed. "I've got work anyway. C'mon, Yukina, I'll take you home."
"Bye, Mika dear," Yukina smiled as she helped the silver haired woman to her feet, and she gave her a tight hug. "Take care of yourself."
"I will," she promised with a small smile.
"And remember what I told you about keeping your eyebrows maintained!" Botan added sternly.
"And don't forget to use that conditioner twice a week!" Shizuru added, "It'll keep your hair moisturized and under control."
"Okay."
"And don't forget this Mika, it's the most important," Keiko started as she walked up to her friend and smiled gently. "You're beautiful, on the inside and out. Always have confidence in yourself."
Mika smiled at the brunette's kind words and allowed herself to be squeezed in a big group hug from all the girls, "Thank you, Keiko."
"You're welcome," she smiled as she let go and moved away to gather her things.
Mika followed after her friends helping them gather their things before she walked them to the front door.
"Bye, Mika!" they chorused as they waved.
"Bye, you guys!" she smiled as she waved back and waited until they were gone until she returned inside the house.
"We'll be back," Yusuke said as he and Kuwabara walked past the couch as Mika collapsed onto it.
"Bye," she sighed as she gathered her silvery waves behind her head and tied it into a messy ponytail.
Kurama who was sitting on the couch reading his book looked up at her, and he perked an eyebrow. "Why are you pulling your hair up? You're going to mess it up."
Mika shrugged as she stretched out as far as she could without putting her feet on his lap. "It's going to get messed up anyway. Besides, it's annoying because it keeps getting in my face."
Kurama frowned, "You could pin it back. Shizuru worked very hard to make your hair look nice."
Mika kept her eyes closed and didn't respond as she curled into a ball and wrapped her arms around her legs. She let out a quiet sigh, and Kurama picked up his book to continue reading. Both were silent for a while. She moved around on the couch in an effort to find a more comfortable position when she caught Kurama staring at her. Her face turned bright red as she sat up in confusion.
"W-What?"
"You look so different," he answered with a smile, "Much healthier... and very beautiful."
The woman's face turned an even more brilliant shade of crimson, and she turned her gaze down to her knees. "T-Thank you..."
"You're welcome."
A heavy silence as loud as an earthquake weighed down on the both of them. The only sounds were the ticking of the clock on the wall, the chirping of the crickets outside, and the quiet buzz of the television. She turned her head so that she could gaze into the dark outside. A million thoughts ran through her head, ricocheting off the insides of her skulls, and bouncing all over the place like children hyped up on candy.
It was Kurama who broke the agonizing silence. "What are you thinking?" he asked in a soft voice as he set his book down and turned to her. His bright eyes were curious.
The woman remained quiet as she struggled for the right words. "I was wondering... why are you so nice to me?"
Kurama perked an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
"Why are you so kind to me, Kurama? I just can't understand. I mean... we barely know each other. Yet, you've invited me into your home. You've been there when I needed you the most. You're always trying to help me out. You actually give a damn about me. What's so special about me? I don't understand---and I can't understand--- why you would go through all that trouble just for someone like me?"
Kurama's lips curled into a small wistful smile, and he shook his head as he scooted closer. He let out a sigh as he leaned his face against the knuckle of his closed fist as he leaned forward.
"Let's just say that you remind me a lot about someone I know. Someone I know and love dearly."
"Who?" Mika questioned with curiosity.
He turned to her, a sad smile on his face. "My mother."
Shocked into silence, Mika remained quiet as she watched Kurama to shift uncomfortably. His eyes were clouded as memories replayed in his mind.
"Do you see that picture on the mantle above the fireplace?" he said as he pointed at a framed picture in the center. "That woman is my mother. Her name is Shiori Minamino. When I first met you, seeing that... defeated look on your face... it reminded me so much of my mother when my father died." [2]
"I'm so sorry."
"It's alright. I never was very close to my father. He was always busy working. But one day, he didn't come home at the time he usually did. We thought nothing of it. The hours passed and my mother got even more nervous. She had tried calling his cell phone many times, but he never picked up. So she called everyone she could think of, crying and begging anyone who would answer if they knew where he was. It was early in the morning when someone knocked on the door. It was a police officer.
He told us that on his way home, my father had been at the intersection only a few miles away from our house. The light had turned green but he wasn't looking before he began to drive. Someone on the other side of the intersection had tried to run the red light... and ended up hitting my father's car in the side. The doctors said that he died instantly from the impact.
Mother was devastated by the news. She didn't want to believe it. She lied to herself. She pretended that everything was okay and that my father would walk in the door any minute like he always did. But she had to face reality eventually. And when she finally did, it tore her apart. Each day was another challenge for her. There were even some days where she couldn't even make herself get out of bed. And when she did, she would pretend like everything was alright. That's when I learned to cook, you know. I cooked. I cleaned. I did whatever I could possibly do to make life easier for her. I know that she appreciated it. But I knew it wasn't enough. There was a hole left in her heart that I couldn't fill.
The months dragged on, but slowly and surely, it was getting easier. Mother went looking for a new job and was employed by one of the best chain companies in Japan. Her boss was Mr. Hatanaka, who was her soon-to-be boyfriend and my future stepfather."
"Did you like Mr. Hatanaka?" Mika questioned in a small voice.
Kurama's lips twisted into a thoughtful frown. "That's a difficult question. Yes, I did like him. But then at the same time, I did not. He was very different than my father. He was very calm and reserved, which is the exact opposite of my mother. My mother is very outgoing, easily excited, kind, and she always tries to reach out to everyone. She's very understanding, not at all judgmental, and someone you can always turn to. In my past life, I never understood why humans would go through the trouble of helping another, but now I do.
She's always done whatever she could to help me. She's always been there for me and she's always loved me unconditionally, even when I used to be an ungrateful and disrespectful child. So to see her, so torn up on the inside... so absolutely destroyed... was frightening. But whenever she was with Hatanaka, it was as if nothing had ever happened. I could see that he was able to help her in a way that I couldn't. So, despite my opinion, I kept quiet. And I'm glad that I did because she's so much happier now."
He had turned to Mika and was now staring into her eyes, "So to see you, with that... look on your face... it reminded me so much of my mother. No one should have to suffer like that. And they definitely shouldn't have to suffer alone. So I want to be here for you."
She could feel her face heating up as he took her hands in his and smiled at her. "Thank you, Kurama. Thank you so much for everything."
"You're welcome," he replied as he squeezed her hands reassuringly before he let go.
She smiled back as she moved so she could lie back down again. She closed her eyes as she tried to picture herself, her mother, father, and her grandmother standing together in the park, their smiles as bright as the summer sun just like Kurama's family.
What was it like to be a family?
To sit down and have dinner together? To laugh together? To have your parents read you a bedtime story? What was it like to have your mother brush your hair before bed? For her to kiss your knee when you scraped it? To make sweets with her? Or to have your father carry you on his back at a festival? To have him teach you to ride a bike? To threaten the boys who had hurt your feelings?
It was nothing but a dreamland. A beautiful magical escape from reality into childhood where anything was possible. But this was reality that she lived in. And reality spares no one.
"Kurama?"
"Yes?" he put down his book and looked at her.
"What is it like," she started as she looked at him intently, "to have a family?"
Kurama was caught off guard by her question, and he opened his mouth to speak when she continued on.
"I've never known what it was like. My mother was a drug addict, and my father was an alcoholic. Do you see all these scars on me?" she ran her arms over her arms before she rolled up the flowy sleeve of her top to her shoulder where a circle several shades darker than her skin, "My mother burned me right her with her cigarette. And here," she threw the quilt off of her body and pulled up her skirt so that he could see up to her mid-thigh. A long scar ran along her skin. "I cut myself on the corner of the coffee table running from my mother. She was drunk and angry because my dad was out with another woman again.
She blamed me for everything, you know... My dad didn't want children, and when my mother became pregnant, he began to stray. She used to tell me that if only I hadn't been born their lives would've been perfect. They'd travel the world. They'd become rich. They'd make their dreams come true. But I was her nightmare, sent straight from Hell to ruin her and tear them apart."
"Mika," Kurama started, "I'm so sorry."
She shrugged as she pulled the quilt back over her, "Its okay. I just... I just wish that I could've known what it's like, you know, to feel like part of a family. Even if it could only be for a short while."
Kurama pursed his lips thoughtfully as he leaned his fist against his cheek as he gazed at her for the longest time. "I'm going to my mother's house in a few days to visit."
"Oh."
"...Would you like to come with me?"
Mika looked at the redheaded fox, her eyes wide with surprise. "W-What?"
"Would you like to come with me to visit my family? I'm positive that my mother would love to have you over for dinner. What do you think?"
"You want me to come with you? Are you sure?"
"Of course."
. She stared into his emerald eyes as she considered his offer. She could feel the corners of her mouth twitching into a bright smile.
"I'd love to."
~.~.~.~.~
Author's Notes
[1] - Someone asked why I always have Yukina refer to Mika as "Mika dear." I know it's not a part of her original characterization but I added that in because not only does it suit her character (in my opinion), but I think that it's cute. :)
[2] – You never see Kurama's father in the anime (and I'm not sure if it's in the manga, either) so I decided to come up with my own little background story.