This chapter is dedicated to: HPforever, nataliebianca, NCIS-fan-cecy, Rolfy, DreamerChild88.

Disclaimer: I still own nothing :(

Hey readers! Just a quick note before we get going! Aaron and Riley have a bit of "the talk" in this chapter, so there is some language that everyone might not be comfortable with. If the idea bugs you, don't read it. I might rate this chapter T+ or something. I don't know, maybe I'm paranoid. Anyways, if "the talk" doesn't sound like it will be full of language you are comfortable with, skip this chapter. If not, happy reading.

"Aaron?" Haley said into the phone.

"Hello Haley." He said politely. "I'm on the jet home from Miami. The kids are still coming this weekend, right?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Jack want's to go stay at Jessica's this weekend." Haley explained.

"Well, no problem." Hotch said. "I'll just take Riley. How did she do on her exams?"

"Perfect, how do you think? Now, for the real reason I called. A boy in Riley's dance class asked her on a date." Haley explained. Aaron's eyes nearly popped out of his head. His baby girl could not be ready to date. She just couldn't.

"What...what did you say?" He wondered.

"I said she could go, but before she does, I need a favour from you."

"A favour?"

"I want you to talk to Riley about sex." Haley said bluntly.

"Talk to her about sex? Do you hate me Haley? Why do you wish bad things to happen to me?" He yelped. Aaron's outburst got many strange looks from the rest of the team, but he ignored them.

"Please do this for me Aaron." Haley begged.

"You're a girl! You have the right...parts?" Aaron tried.

"For a girl and I'm pretty sure she's dealing with boys. You have the right parts to know what boys want. When she's a lesbian, I'll give her the talk." Haley said.

"Hasn't she learned enough in school Haley?"

"School doesn't cover the emotional implications of sex. Aaron, be her father. She needs you to talk about this with her." Haley said with a note of annoyance in her voice.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow." He said, just as annoyed as Haley seemed. Aaron hung up the phone and massaged his temples.

"You okay Hotch?" Morgan asked.

"Haley want's me to give Riley the sex talk tomorrow."

"Oh boy." Emily said. "This should be fun."

The next day, Riley hurried out to Hotch's car with a gigantic, bright smile on her face. Hotch felt bad because the awkward talk would either wipe the smile off her face or make her laugh to death. Emily thought it would be a hilarious situation and she even made him research topics to discuss online.

"Dad!" She said as she threw the door open. "Hi! Hi Emily."

"Hi sweetheart." Emily said.

"Riley," Hotch began. "How were your exams?"

"What? Oh, fine." Riley said hurriedly. "I have the coolest news ever!"

"Oh yeah?" Hotch said. He figured that he'd let Riley tell him about the date, since she was overly excited about it. He'd bring up the sex talk, and blame that on Haley. She was making him do it, so she deserved the blame.

"This guy in my dance class, Dominic Johns, asked me on a date!" She exclaimed.

"Aren't dancers usually gay?" Emily asked jokingly.

"Emily's inappropriate comment aside," Riley said. "Isn't that so exciting?"

"I take it that you like this Dominic?" Hotch asked.

"I really do. He's smart, funny, kind, and a fantastic dancer! Plus, he's honest! Just as honest as me! He doesn't get offended when I tell the truth." Riley exclaimed.

"He sounds lovely." Emily said with a smile.

"Oh!" Hotch said stupidly. "That's why Haley wants me to talk to her." Emily gasped, realizing that he was planning on blaming it on Haley. She couldn't say she blamed him, but she still punched him lightly in the arm.

"Mom wanted you to talk to me about what?" Riley asked.

"Riley, your mother thinks you and I need to talk about...se...se-sex." The conversation was going to be even more horrible than he imagined.

"Why?"

"I guess because you're dating this boy now." Hotch shrugged. "You'll have to ask her. But, since we have a long drive ahead of us, I think we should just get it out of the way now. Please, try to be serious."

"I'll attempt." Riley said. Everyone was silent for a few moments. No one really knew how to begin the conversation.

"I don't even know what to say." Hotch admitted.

"You've never had sex before, have you?" Emily asked bluntly.

"Didn't I already tell you I was a virgin?" Riley asked.

"Answers change." Emily said.

"Well, mine hasn't."

"You've never done anything sexual?" Hotch asked.

"No."

"Even...like...touching...counts." Hotch said slowly.

"Oh my." Riley said awkwardly.

"This is just as awkward for me as it is for you."

"I don't really think it is actually." Riley disagreed. "And I haven't even kissed a boy before."

"Good." Hotch nodded.

"You learned about the mechanics in school, right?" Emily asked. Apparently she was taking the lead while the Hotchners squirmed in their seats, both turning bright red.

"Yes."

"Good." Hotch said.

"Aaron, you're supposed to be talking to her not just saying good!"

"Right. Okay. Uhm when you do decide to...have...do...be intimate with a boy, you need to be protected."

"I know." Riley said, praying that she would be swallowed up by some random hole in the earth.

"Abstinence is more affective than um...condoms and birth control." Aaron said. He wished he had his gun at the moment. He'd rather shoot himself than have this conversation. Why did Riley have to be growing up? Talking about sharing was so much easier.

"Yes. That it is." Riley agreed.

"You know about STDs right?" Emily asked.

"Yup."

"Well, it's not just...vaginal intercourse that transfers STDs." Aaron struggled with the sentence. Riley couldn't contain it anymore. Being serious was making it awkward and weird. After holding it in the whole time, she began to laugh. Very hard." Riley! Please be serious with this conversation! It's hard enough without being long!" Riley laughed even harder. So did Emily.

"That's what she said." Emily mumbled.

"Can you be an adult please?" Aaron asked.

"Come on, that was funny. It's hard enough without being long." Emily giggled.

"Maturity please?" Aaron begged.

"Sorry."

"Now, you can still get STDs from other kinds of...intercourse." Hotch said.

"There are other kinds of intercourse?" Riley asked, trying her best to sound surprised. Being serious was stupid. If it was going to be bad for her, she decided that she needed to make it bad for her father too.

"You said you learned the mechanics in school!" Hotch exclaimed. He wanted the conversation to be over.

"Of...what did you call it again? 'Vaginal intercourse'." She said.

"Uh, there's also...oral intercourse and...anal intercourse." Aaron stumbled to put the words together. Riley completely lost her mind with laughter.

"You are a pain in the ass." He said when he caught on to what she was doing.

"She's a funny pain in the ass." Emily said.

"Thank you!"

"Now on your date," Hotch said before Riley could be any more of a nuisance. "Even if he pays for everything or gives you a ride home-"

"He doesn't have his license."

"Okay, in the future-"

"I hope we have flying cars in the future." Riley said thoughtfully.

"Oh my God Riley." Hotch snapped.

"Sorry!" Emily was laughing into her hands. Offering Hotch help wasn't nearly as funny as watching him struggle.

"If your date does anything nice for you, you still don't owe him anything." Hotch took a triumphant sip of the coffee he bought earlier for finally getting his point across. Emily also picked her coffee up to drink.

"Mom's already covered that one." Riley pointed out.

"Has she?" Hotch asked.

"Yup. She says 'just because he pays for dinner doesn't mean he gets a blow job'." Emily spit the coffee out of her mouth and burst out laughing.

"She did not say that!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Call her and ask! She said it when I asked if I could go out with Dom." Riley said.

"Dear Lord." Hotch muttered.

"This is the best thing ever. Just saying." Emily laughed.

"And we're all so glad you're enjoying yourself." Riley said sarcastically.

"Riley," Hotch said a bit forcefully. "There are 2 things I want you to take away from this, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded.

"One," He began. "Nobody, and I mean NOBODY can force you to do what you don't want to. Fight if you have to. You are in control of your body and nobody else is."

"See? You sound less awkward and it's not funny anymore." Riley said. "You say something sweet like that and I can't laugh."

"Finally!" He exclaimed.

"Har-har." Riley said. "Thing number two?"

"Choosing to...lose your virginity is a big choice. One that I'd hate for you to regret. I want you to look back on it in a good way, not in a horrible, regret filled way. Once it's gone, you can't get it back. Once someone has it, it's gone. The wrong person could betray your trust and I don't want that to happen to you. I just want you to be sure. I want you to be in love before you do this. Preferably, I want you to be married, but I'm trying to be real here." Hotch said. "You're my little girl and I want you to be happy."

"You are the sweetest man alive!" Emily sobbed.

"Are you crying?" Hotch asked.

"Is she actually crying?" Riley asked.

"His speeches are so beautiful!"

"Hormones?" Riley asked.

"Hormones." Hotch agreed.

"Shut up." Emily laughed through her tears.

"Thanks dad." Riley said.

"For what?" He asked.

"For giving me the funniest, most awkward and sweetest speech ever." Riley laughed.

"And I'm never doing it again." The three sat in silence for a few moments before a disgusted look invaded Riley's face.

"What?" Emily asked.

"Sex makes babies." Riley cringed.

"And?"

"That means my parents had...sex." Riley shuddered. "I am going to throw up all over this car." Emily laughed. The Hotchners could be so funny in awkward situations.

That's all for now! Please, please tell me what you thought! Thanks for reading!